I couldn't help it.

"GAH!" I yelped, falling backwards off the glittering azure blue platform and totally messing up my professional meditative immortal image.

But before you judge me, I seriously couldn't help it, okay?!

In my past life, I was one of those people who scrEaAAmed at the smallest squeak in a horror movie. Yeah, I'd seen demons and spirits and vengeful ghosts in this life, but never something that had crept up on me out of nowhere! And ever more importantly, never a ghost or demon with an aura so strong that I felt like I was suffocating!

Because right now, I seriously felt like my lungs were filled with spirit aura goo. It was like I was swimming in it.

Hacking and coughing like crazy, I steeled myself and pulled myself back onto the platform slab. I straightened my robes and coughed a couple of times into my hand to act like nothing had happened. I mean, I'd basically already ruined my poser professional immortal image in front of this mega-powerful spirit, but it didn't hurt to try, right?

In front of me, floating in the air, was a spirit. It was a female spirit, draped in silks the color of blood. The strands of silk were so long that they dragged and flutter along the floor, even though she was floating in the air like an apparition. Her face was pale as milk, and her giant eyes glittered like obsidian.

There's no argument—she was hot. Like, hot, hot. This was one sweet-looking powerful mountain spirit.

Unfortunately, she also looked extremely, extremely angry.

As in, black-eyes-glowing-red-from-within-angry. And long-red-fingernails-poised-to-slice-me-to-pieces angry.

I gulped. This spirit's nails had to be four inches long each, at least, all painted the color of blood—or maybe that was their natural color. Seriously, how did she upkeep nails like that? Or maybe powerful spirits didn't need to do nail care, and they just grew really long, sharp, bright red nails naturally?

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Quickly, I did what you're supposed to do when you meet an angry spirit that looks like it wants to kill you.

"Greetings, O Great Spirit," I hummed, kneeling down and bowing. Properly, I smushed my face into the dirt, which smelled musty AF, but it was a necessary pain. Everyone knows, if you don't smush your face in the dirt in front of a powerful immortal or spirit, they'll probably strike you down with a bolt of lightning.

Which reminds me...is that why all the villagers who came to visit me were always pressing their faces in the dirt like they were trying to get a mud mask? That would make a lot of sense...

ANYHOW! No time to think about that. I continued with the steps.

"Is there something I have done to trouble you, O Great Spirit?" I moaned, sounding very pitiful and groveling some more. "Or anything I can provide you with? This lowly mort—cough, immortal—will do whatever she can to assist you or alleviate your anger, O Great Spirit."

The female spirit merely stared at me, her lip curling with distaste. Or at least, it felt like that was what she was doing. I couldn't really see her, because I had my face pressed in the dirt and all.

"Rise, immortal," she said at last, her voice gravelly.

I raised my eyebrows against the dirt. Huh...she didn't sound angry anymore? She sounded...more...bored?

Slowly, I lifted my head and coughed again, staying in a kneeling position and discreetly spitting out some dirt that had gotten in my immortal mouth.

"Yes, O Great Spirit! What is it that you require of me?"

The powerful spirit was floating in the air now in a lazy sitting position, studying her shining red nails like she was looking for a speck of dirt, which there definitely wasn't (or if there was it had to be so microscopic that you couldn't see it with a whole-ass...um, microscope).

"I said, rise, immortal," she repeated flatly. Yep—she definitely sounded bored. I felt self-conscious all of a sudden. Was it my voice? My immortal appearance? I wasn't that boring, right?

I scrambled to my feet before she could get angry again and brushed off my robes, flicking out my sleeves as a proper immortal does. Then I bowed my head slightly and waited.

I could feel her large, shining dark eyes training on my head like laser beams. A whole ten seconds passed, then a minute. I started noticing the patterns of glitter between the layers of dirt on the ground. There was this really cool hexagonal piece of azure blue crystal that sparkled a ton, like—

"Immortal. How short is your attention span? Are you listening to this spirit speak?"