Before I could say anything about how I was more interested in clarifying whether I could keep cultivating here or not then hearing Xiangshi's lengthy backstory, she gave an exasperated sigh, twirled her smoky pipe around, and leaned on a hand against the glittering blue ground while beginning to speak:

"My father, Liu Chenyang...If anyone's a bitch, he's the king of bitches. He--"

"Hold on," I interjected. "You called him a bitch, not a son of a bitch? Don't people here call guys sons-of-bitches?"

Xiangshi shot me a bored, disgusted look, taking another drag of that glirttery purple smoke from her intricate golden pipe. "A stupid convention. Why should only women be called derogatory names? I will call a man a bitch when I want to."

I raised my eyebrows and nodded, very impressed. Very forward-thinking for someone in an ancient cultivation universe. Huh. I guess sitting around and thinking for 800 years kinda gets you thinking about the basics of society and all.

"Anyways..." Xiangshi drawled, grumbling and blowing another ring of purple glittering smoke straight up into the air, like an insult to the gods. "My awful father, king of bitches. He has many children, you know--thousands, even. All sired by different goddesses and mortals and immortals alike."

I whistled, crossing my arms. "Damn, he really got around, huh?"

The air went hot. Xiangshi glared at me, her golden pipe glowing hotly. "Watch your tongue, immortal. I am thousands of years older than you are." I nodded enthusiastically and made a zipping motion over my mouth to show I wouldn't interrupt with comments about her dad being a total f-boy anymore.

"Anyways...yes, he did 'get around', as one might say. He never loved any of his wives, discarding each after they sired him children. All he ever wanted was to spread his godly legacy all throughout the world through his seed--and so he did." The corners of Xiangshi's mouth turned down, clear with distaste. "I am one of these crowds of children of the Trickster God, forgotten among the masses. Some of us were favored by him: those who were born gods, those who were heroes of the mortal realm, those who slew great demons. And me, as well, once. I, too, stood in my father's favor..." Xiangshi blew out another puff of smoke, her voice bitter. "...But no longer."

"...Uh, what happened?" I asked bluntly, blinking. I'd always been obssessed with gossip and the downfalls of celebrities in my past life. This was starting to be more in my lane, and my ears had perked up. I sat down on the round, smooth glittering platform I'd risen from the cave ground earlier and crossed my arms and legs, waiting for the tea.

Xiangshi looked surprised at first that I'd asked to hear more. She blinked for a moment, as though whenever she got to this part of her story, whatever rabbit was listening to her had already long left. Damn, what a lonely shithole. This place was beautiful, but living here for over half a century with rabbits and cicadas for company? No, thank you! I'd rather have that same cup of instant noodles again!

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"Well...you see, the only way I had gained father's favor in the first place..." Xiangshi closed her eyes. Her pipe lifted from her jade-smooth, glowing hand and twirled in slow circles above her slender white fingers, as though in contemplation. She opened her large, glittering eyes, and instead of having a red glow to them, they had an almost blue tint. The color of sadness and regret. "...Was by passing as a man."

"...Huh?"

"...Did you not hear me properly, little immortal? I had to pretend I was male in order to gain my father's filthy favor! Just for a curmb of his approval! Just for a glance my way!"

"No wait! I heard you, I heard you! I'm just--isn't Liu Chenyang, like..." I motioned with my hands and my chin. "A god? Like, couldn't he tell?"

"Pshhh!" Xiangshi let out a snort of ridiculousness, letting out a puff of purple, sweet-smelling smoke. "Such a naive immortal. You have many lessons to learn in your life. I can see you trek the path to godhood--you will have many a lesson to learn once you ascend to the realm of the gods as well. I will give you this one now, so listen closely: Being male or female is all about the way you look and act. It was not hard to convince the God of Tricksters that I was born a man by acting vile, filthy, and drinking much more than my fill."

I blinked. Damn. This spirit was...

Pretty damn cool.

And also, like, thousands and thousands of years ahead of her time and universes away from it???

Meanwhile, Xiangshi twirled her fingers, and the smoke from her floating golden pipe danced through the air, forming images: small humanoid figures, pillars, clouds.

"Father didn't remember my birth; he didn't remember who I was or my name half of the time. Thousands of children, what point was there to ever learn their names unless they were to become the Next Emperor of Heaven? That was how he saw it. Plus, most of them just so happened to be female children. My father never wanted a single daughter. How could a daughter spread his influence? He wanted a legion of thousands of sons, to spread his blood to many and his legacy to the world! So, growing up and seeing each sister by cast down from his favor like they were worth nothing more than a burlap sack, I made my choice. I became someone else. A man. With my magical prowess and my mother having been the great wandering immortal Bai Bu, father began doling favor out to me as I rose up the ranks. His little Shi, he called me--though sometimes it was his little Shu, or his little Shou. He could never remember. But then..."

"...Something happened. Lemme guess, someone walked in on you naked."

Xiangshi grumbled at me, mouth curling in annoyance. "No! How mortifying that would be! I was extremely careful to bathe and sleep in different quarters at all times. No one ever found out..."

"Oh?" Huh....Surprising, for real. Wans't that how it always went with gendered storeis of women dressing up as men to accomplish things they otherwise wouldn't be allowed to do? Mulan? Uh....all the other ones that I totally know of? Someone walked in on the lady when she's bathing, oor someone has to see her nakey for something, and boom, disguise gone. But no one had found out here? Huh...impressive...and unique...

"No one ever found out..." Xiangshi murmured. One of her pale, perfect fists clenched on her knee, turning somehow even paler. "...Until I revealed myself."