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The Imminent Gossip Downfall of Liu Chenyang

"WWWWWHAHHHHHHHHHHT THE FFRRRRIIIIICKKK!!!!"

I shrieked, clawing at my eyes.

You know how they say to not look directly at the sun? At least, that's what scientists said in my previous life. It's supposed to make you blind or something/ Also, it makes you cry a lot. Not...from experience. When I was bored in mathematics, I totally didn't used to look out the window and stare at the sun to see if it made me go blind (it didn't...uh, maybe a little, considering I stopped being able to see the board properly after, but I could still see >:3).

Anyways, as soon as I disappeared through the strange teleportation array holding Xiangshi's red crystal, the world flashed a bright, bright white, all around, and I shrieked, covering my eyes and almost dropping the crystal.

It was brighter than the sun. No--it was like I was staring right at the sun from just a couple of feet away. Not hot, just so, so bright, like someone was trying to cut my eyes out with a blinding flashlight knife! I could even feel them burning, and my eyes were closed!!!

With a clumsy motion, I summoned a cloak out of my belt's qiankun pouch and covered my shaman's headdress.

"Better...my god, what the hell..."

I kept my eyes squeezed shut for a little longer, until the burning of my eyes subsided. Squinting violently, I lifted the corner of the heavy winter cloak I'd accidentally summoned instead of a summer cloak, and stared out into my surroundings with streaming eyes screaming for relief.

Was this...really the Heavenly Realm?

It was pretty...uh...

Stereotypical?

As I involuntary sobbed tears of pain from my poor immortal eyes, I frowned at the scene in front of me:

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

It was the gate to Liu Chenyang's personal palace in the Heavenly Realm, supposedly. At least, that's where I was supposed to end up. And it was...

Pretty garish, to be honest.

You know, garish? It's a word I learned in my English class >:3, a year before I choked on that stupid cup of instant noodles. It means...uh...what does it mean? It's negative. Something like ugly, basically. Trying too hard and turning ugly instead of nice-looking. Yeah!

That's what these gates and this palace were--absolutely garish! The gates were so heavily inlaid with jewels of all kinds of colors that it was impossible to look straight at them. It wasn't tasteful, like a couple of jewels inlaid here and there among ornate carvings or something. Nope. Just a barrage of jewels badly attached to a gate and completely covering it so it looked like it was crawling with sparkling lil beetles. Ew. And past that, was the palace. It reminded me a little too much of that Glittering Metropolis of Guāng cè. Gold, everywhere possible. On the pathway, making up the palace walls, the roofing, the flags, so mcuh that it made my eyes water even more. And what's more, gems were randomly inlaid in poor taste all over the palace, like the architect had been given a huge cask of gems and been told to throw them all over the place to make it look like a unicorn had pooped all over the palace. Gross!

I sighed and stepped forward, squintily stuffing my cape back into my qiankun pouch with difficulty because of its thickness. I paused as my foot touched the ground, frowning.

Beneath my feet was grassy land, but it felt somehow...not solid? I looked down.

Huh...

How do I describe something like this???

It was something you'd only see in a Heavenly Realm. It was like the grass was growing out of a cloudy substance, or a cloud itself, as though the cloud was soil.

I stomped down, once.

"AAAKJAHKDJHAJKSH!"

I flailed my arms violently, shrieking like a banshee again. How had no one from the palace heard me yet? Was Xiangshi said about her father's court being lazy AF must be true.

When I'd stomped, my foot had pluged with little resistance straight through the ground, leaving me floundering, one foot above ground, and my other leg up to the knee in cloudy grass. This must be beacause I wasn't a god, right? Everyone in cultivation realms knows that a god can walk freely in the Heavenly Realm, but a mortal or any old immortal will struggle to stay afloat among the ascended. With a grunted of irriation, I grabbed my leg and pulled it out of the ground. It made a satisfying little schloop! sound. Hehe. Would be good for a YouTube ASMR video back in my past life.

When I was finally all brushed off and looking like a proper shaman again, I cleared my throat, adjusted a few of my talismans, and strode forward like a confident immortal towards the front gates.

Then, I dove into a bush.

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