The old man's master was an extremely round merchant who looked like he ate fifteen cakes a day and never walked around. He had a curly mustache and a bald, greasy head.
He was also sweating profusely when I came in to meet him.
It was an incredibly weird sight.
See, this round old man was sitting on a nice, golden chair in his sitting room. Everything was gold, from the floor to the ceiling to the table and even the man's clothes.
But that wasn't the weird part.
The walls and the man's body were covered in talismans to ward off evil.
Absolutely covered!
Seriously, they were glued on all over him—onto the back of his hands, all over his golden clothes, even one smack on his wide, sweaty forehead! How did it stay with all that sweat?!
What's more, the golden ground was covered in salt. Yeah, salt's supposed to ward off evil spirits — but this much salt?! What was he trying to do, ward off a whole-ass army of demons? Wasn't salt expensive or something? How did he cover the whole ground in it, so there was nowhere to walk?
Oh, right. He was filthy rich. Still. Not a great look for him. This scene was giving me pretty crazy vibes.
As soon as he saw me enter with his old servant, he sprang to his feet and rushed towards me, falling onto his knees and wailing.
"O Great, Highest and Most Powerful Immortal Xia! I am a merchant of Guāng cè, and my humble name is Sen Yu. Have mercy on this poor old man! I am in pain! I am suffering! Please save me! Saaaave meeee, O Great Immortal! I can give you gold! A golden house! A golden horse! Anything you like! Please have mercy on this mortal!"
"All right, all right, calm down."
In a very refined, immortal way, I pulled a white fan out of thin air and fanned myself gracefully. I'd wanted to try this technique for a long time. I must look pretty immortal right now, heh? A real professional immortal here.
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"What is it that you are suffering with, Merchant Sen Yu?"
I sat him back down at his talisman-covered gold table, and he began to talk, looking utterly terrified.
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"You see...for the last few months, I have been suffering incomparably! It is utterly unbearable!
Every night, nightmares plague me.
In my nightmare, it is always the same: I have transformed into an enormous rat. As if it is in my nature, I pillage towns and villages, chewing people and tearing them apart. I steal food and watch people starve. I hoard, and I hoard, and I eat, and I eat, until my furry stomach bloats, and BOOM!
I explode!
It is the same every night. But that is not the worst of it.
I am sure of it — there is an evil spirit haunting me. It must be!
Every time, at the end of my nightmare, I hear a voice. It is familiar somehow, but I do not recognize it. It is so chilling, my blood freezes!
The voice says,
This will be your fate, Sen Yu, you rat of society.
And then, I wake up in a pool of sweat!"
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His story finished, the round merchant grabbed at the hem of my divine robes, sobbing and getting snot and sweat all over them.
"Please save me, O Immortal Being above all others! This evil spirit — it will come for me, I can feel it! It is coming to end me! To — to turn me into a rat, or something!"
I coughed, pushing his face carefully away with the tip of my fan. Gross...now I had snot on my robes. I waved my hand to remove it with a cleansing technique.
"This immortal will help you. First, tell me—is there anyone you have wronged and who has since died?"
The big, bald-headed merchant stumbled to his feet, sniffling.
"I...This merchant d-doesn't believe so..."
Something in his tone told me that was totally not the honest response.
Figures. He was a wealthy merchant. I probably couldn't count the number of people he'd cheated on with my hands and feet together.
"All right, then...give me a moment."
I waved my fan, activating the Heavenly Breeze technique. In a whirlwind, all at once, every talisman in the room was ripped off its surface and shredded into a thousand pieces, including even the one on the big merchant Sen Yu's forehead.
At the same time, all of the salt on the floor was lifted up and swept out the window, along with all the talismans.
The merchant paled.
"No! No! What the heck are you — cough — High Immortal Xia? The evil spirit will surely come for me now! These were methods of protection! Protect me, Great Immortal Xia!"
He ran at me, looking like he was going to grab my robes and sob into them again out of fear.
I held up a hand, stopping him.
"Merchant Sen Yu, those talismans were all rip-offs, and salt at most can only hold off the weakest of evil spirits. You still experienced the nightmares even with these precautions, right?"
"Y-Yes...I did..."
"Right. So whether all that shit is here or not doesn't make a difference. It just hinders my ability to assess the situation. Now, I need you to go to sleep. Night-night!"
"Wh-what—?"
With that, I cast the Temporary Sleep Technique on him, and he slumped over on the saltless ground, snoring in a deep sleep.