~~~

It took about a week for everything to get back to normal.

The dog media camped outside Wu Dog Yan’s home for a few days, reporters swarmed around Knife Factory 7, the TV news anchors talked about all the possible explanations for what had happened. Chi Hua Bi Bi promoted her own bravery in rescuing a fellow actress, as well as some factory cogs, while claiming that it was too misty to see what really took place between Dog Hood and Dog Lee. ‘All I know for sure,’ she said on Really Real Talk with Bin Bahar, ‘is that Dog Lee is a legend, and will always be a legend, even in 20 years when we’ve all forgotten him.’

Wu Dog Yan did the opposite, she didn’t talk to anyone. No talk shows, no press conferences, no driving outside her house and winding her window down to talk to reporters. She simply got her agent to release a statement saying she needed time and space alone, at least nine days, then locked herself in her mansion and disconnected the internet.

As for Cha Cha, Luco and Zade, they didn’t have the luxury of shutting themselves in their flat. They had to work and make money, and also be shouted at by Boss Lak for tricking a TV star into tricking Boss Bamdak into giving them time off work.

As punishment, they were forced to go outside and paint the factory walls, which wasn’t actually punishment as anything was better than assembling knives on the factory floor.

The other workers were super curious for the first hour on their first day back, hassling them in the canteen, asking them who had killed Dog Lee and whether or not Wu Dog Yan was really their friend and, if she was, could they persuade her to come back to the factory sometime.

‘If she sees how fast I can put a knife together, she might look at me in a different light,’ said Slow Jed, one of the more deluded dogs at the factory.

‘She’s not like that…’ said Cha Cha, annoyed.

‘Like what?’

‘Easily impressed.’

‘What, you mean she’s a bitch?’

Cha Cha growled.

‘It’s true, you female dogs are either shallow or bitches…there’s nothing in between.’

‘Still single, Slow Jed?’ asked another worker, laughing.

‘He’s always single.’

‘Shut up.’

‘Seriously, he wouldn’t even watch Petka Blue[1] because the main character was female. How’s he ever gonna find a girlfriend?’

All the workers laughed louder, following Slow Jed out of the canteen as he tried to escape. Zade, Luco and Cha Cha were left alone with Git Git, who stared at them for a long time before spitting in his own coffee, standing up and walking out the side door.

‘He’s surprisingly quiet,’ said Zade.

‘I think the boss has curbed him…’ said Cha Cha, getting confused looks from both her friends. ‘It means, he can’t bully us anymore or he’ll get fired.’

‘That won’t last,’ said Zade.

‘Probably not.’

‘Ah well, if he does say anything, Luco can use his fighting skills on him.’

‘I will not.’

‘What?’

‘I’ve retired from fighting, in honour of my Satfu Dog Lee.’

Zade and Cha Cha looked at each other but didn’t say anything. There was no point.

~~~

Back at the flat, they sat on the couch [Luco on the beanbag] and watched dog dramas, tiger dramas, hamster dramas, all kinds of dramas just to distract themselves and get away from the news.

They even tried an armadillo drama, but the story was very dark and very anti-other animals. It was weird, they lived on the other side of the planet, but still managed to find it in their hearts to hate dogs, despite having almost no contact with them.

‘Do you want to get SN[2]?’ asked Cha Cha, turning off the TV and stretching her legs.

‘Too far,’ said Zade.

‘How about heading down to Bambamboo Park, check out the Dog Lee memorial?’ said Luco, jumping up from the beanbag.

‘I just said SN was too far…’

‘Come on, it’s only seventeen stations away.’

Zade picked up the remote control and turned the TV back on. He tried a few channels before settling on the news.

‘You wanna watch this again?’

‘It’s been over a week, it might be different now.’

‘Forget the news,’ said Luco, poking Zade and Cha Cha in the legs, one after the other. ‘I wanna go and pay my respects to Satfu.’

‘You can go, we’ll stay here.’

‘Don’t be scared, Zade, the police won’t do anything.’

‘I’m not scared, I’m tired.’

‘You can wear your bandage, bring your crutches too. They won’t shoot you if you already look wounded.’

Zade turned to a different channel, also the news. This one had some kind of press conference, reporters shouting questions at someone in sunglasses and a hoodie.

‘Are you worried that there will be a backlash against you for saying this?’ asked one reporter.

‘Dog Lee is a legend after all, no one wants to hear about him being crazy and trying to kill other dogs…’

The target of the questions removed her sunglasses and said, calmly and without pause, ‘I don’t care what others think. Dog Hood is a hero. Other dogs need to stop trashing his school and threatening his parents. That’s all I want to say. Thank you.’

Cha Cha stared at the screen, mouth open.

‘What is she thinking?’ asked Zade.

‘At least she didn’t blame Dog Lee,’ said Luco. ‘That’s an improvement.’

‘But…’

‘If she blames Dog Lee, they’ll kill her.’

Cha Cha finally closed her mouth and muttered, ‘Wu Dog Yan, what have you done?’

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

The news left the press conference and switched to images of Bambamboo Park, where a huge crowd of dogs was gathered outside Dog Lee’s school, most of them holding candles.

‘I should be there too,’ said Luco, wiping his forehead.

‘Are you sweating?’

‘I can’t help it, I sweat when I feel sad.’

The images continued. One reporter went inside Dog Lee’s school and looked around. It was pretty much the same as it had been the week before, and Luco even pointed out some of the photos on the wall. The camera picked out one photo in particular, a familiar dog face, smiling, with the words ‘Student destroying 2014 with huge power’ written above.

‘Wah, that’s him…’ screamed Cha Cha.

‘The dog from the castle…’ said Zade, also recognising the face.

Luco leaned closer to the TV screen, finally figuring it out. ‘The lunatic who jumped down the hole.’

Zade swiped a paw through the air, gesturing for Luco to shut up, but it was too late, he’d already said it.

Cha Cha stared blankly at the TV screen.

‘Don’t think about it, Cha Cha…’

‘Ka, he was a nobody…’ added Luco. ‘Two way more famous dogs died, and that cat too.’

‘I’m not looking at the photo,’ said Cha Cha, pointing at a book on the screen. However, as soon as she pointed at it, the image changed to Dog Hood’s school, which had graffiti on the walls [‘Murderer’ ‘Coward’ and ‘You couldn’t beat up my grandma’s grandma’ being the biggest and most colourful] and a small fire by the front door. According to the reporter, the school had been firebombed again, even though it was pretty much destroyed the first time.

‘What was the book?’ asked Zade.

‘That word he kept saying…Prosperoro…that was the name on the book.’

‘The thing Dog Lee said?’

‘And the suicide dog.’ Cha Cha looked around the living room, scanning for something. ‘But that book was in Dog Lee’s paws…’

Luco grabbed the beanbag and squeezed it. ‘Maybe he’s not dead.’

‘Luco…’

‘Maybe he swam back to the shore…went to his school and…’

‘Left his favourite book there?’ finished Zade.

‘Maybe.’

The reporter on TV was standing outside the Cat Flex School now, interviewing the elderly master, Lo Cat Gah. She asked him if he had known about his assistant’s secret activity on No Name Islands and if he believed the rumours that he was eaten by sentient mist. He said none of it mattered, he was leaving anyway. Twenty-seven years in Bambamboo Park and he was being driven out by Dog Lee fanatics.

‘Well, maybe your cat assistant shouldn’t have been conspiring with Dog Hood…’ said Luco.

‘Luco…’

‘It’s true.’

Zade closed his eyes, took one of his famous deep breaths then changed channel again. Cha Cha jumped up on the couch next to him and opened up her computer. She typed for a few minutes, not saying anything.

‘What are you doing?’ asked Zade eventually.

‘Looking up Prosperoro.’

‘Oh, ka. I forgot about him.’

‘I didn’t,’ said Luco. ‘I searched for him as soon as we got back from the police station.’

‘And?’

‘Nothing. There was only one guy with a name close to that. Prospero…and he was a children’s TV host.’

‘Probably not the same guy.’

‘Nuut-o.’

Zade switched channels again, going back to the armadillo drama, saw the hero torturing a penguin with a straw, changed again, and again, until finally settling on Leopard TV. It was quite interesting, three leopard scientists were talking about making a base on the moon, though Zade couldn’t understand most of what they said as it was in Leopard language and the subtitles were dog-wah.

After ten minutes, Cha Cha said’ aha’ and told everyone to listen up. Zade and Luco looked at the screen and saw a picture of an ancient dog in ceremonial robes with two red circles painted onto the palms of his paws, and two larger ones around his eyes.

‘Lord Prosperoro…’

‘He’s a real dog?’

Cha Cha said ‘ka’ and read out the first paragraph. ‘Although there is no concrete evidence for his existence, there are numerous references in plays and novels of the Saitian Period [757-1183] to a Lord Prosperoro who lived in a castle somewhere in the Lower Mark Mountains. There are variations in detail, but all references portray him as a reclusive and sadistic figure, one play in particular ‘The Red Branch of Prosperoro’ focusing on his castle activities.’

‘That doesn’t sound too evil…’

‘In that play, the character of Lord Prosperoro is a charming figure who goes into nearby villages at night dressed as a minstrel, lures young dogs back to his castle, then tortures them. In contrast to most historical dog forms of torture, he avoids sharp objects and focuses on deep holes and isolation. Each young dog he captures is left hanging down a hole in a dungeon, facing the darkness below, until he is able to concentrate his mind enough to open a portal to the Planet of Other.’

‘You what?’

‘Nuut kaata, that’s what it says. The Planet of Other.’ Cha Cha scrolled down and read the last line. ‘According to legend, Lord Prosperoro was attacked and defeated by King Diktat III, who took Prosperoro’s castle and then, because of his courage in defending his home, offered him the chance to choose the method of his own execution. After much thought, Prosperoro opted for death by sponge. This did not amuse King Diktat III, who had him thrown down his favourite hole instead. Lord Prosperoro’s body was never recovered, though it is argued that no one really tried.’

‘Just like Satfu…’ said Luco.

‘And Dog Hood,’ added Cha Cha.

‘Nuut, he’s definitely dead.’

‘But Dog Lee isn’t?’

‘They never found his body.’

‘They never found Dog Hood’s either.’

‘Ka, but he’s ordinary. Dog Lee is a legend.’

Zade shook his head and turned the news back on. They were replaying Wu Dog Yan’s press conference, this time with a response from the President of the Dog Lee Created the Universe with his Foot Fan Club.

‘Spreading this kind of wicked lie about a dead idol like Dog Lee will not be tolerated. You’ll see, us dogs will not accept it, especially from a silver-bowl TV star who is known to consort with tigers. Of course, we don’t encourage violence, in fact, just like our idol, we’re well known for our commitment to tolerance and respect, but…if she doesn’t take back what she said, it will be very hard to guarantee her safety.’

‘He’s right, she should take it back…’ said Luco, nodding.

‘Luco…’ said Cha Cha, throwing a magazine at his head.

‘She should.’

‘He’s basically threatening her…’

‘Or encouraging other dogs to attack her,’ said Zade.

‘But he’s right. Dog Lee was possessed by something…this Prosperoro guy. It wasn’t his fault, and she should say that publicly.’

‘She didn’t say it was his fault, she just said Dog Hood saved her life, which he did.’

‘Ka, kind of…’

‘She’s done nothing wrong,’ said Cha Cha, picking up the magazine, rolling it up and hitting Luco on the head. ‘And we’re gonna send her a message saying we support her. Okay?’

Luco said ‘nuut’ and got hit on the head.

‘Okay?’

‘Nuut.’

He got hit again.

‘I will not.’

Cha Cha passed the the magazine to Zade. ‘You hit him.’

‘Later.’

‘Hit him.’

Zade reluctantly took the magazine and held it above Luco’s head.

‘Don’t you-…’

He hit him semi-hard, almost knocking him over.

‘Okay?’ said Cha Cha.

‘It’s like living with armadillos,’ Luco grumbled, rubbing his head.

Cha Cha nudged Zade, who lifted the magazine back into the hitting position.

‘Okay?’ she asked.

‘Ka, fine. Send the letter.’

‘Thanks, comrade.’

‘But I’m not writing it.’

Cha Cha pulled her computer onto her lap and opened up a new e-mail. She was about to start typing when she noticed the box that said ‘e-mail address.’ What was Wu Dog Yan’s e-mail address? She hadn’t given it to them, had she? Nuut, she hadn’t given them anything, no form of contact at all. They could look on her official site or her Now-bo[3] page, but that would just send stuff to her agent or one of her assistants. That was no good. They had to make sure their message got into her paws, but how could they do that?

Cha Cha stared at the blank e-mail box for a long time, so long that Zade asked if she’d been possessed.

‘Nuut, I’m fine.’

‘You need help writing it?’

‘Nuut.’

‘Okay.’

Cha Cha half smiled, stared at the screen again, looked at the advert for Prince Pico Day, shook her head, stared at the e-mail box again, looked at the snake clock on the wall, checked the dirt between the letter keys on her type pad then pulled the screen forward and typed in ‘catwatch.com.’

Sorry, Wu Dog Yan, she told herself, this is the last time, I swear.

Catwatch.com loaded up, the first headline appearing for the pictures and the rest of the text.

WU DOG YAN + DOG HOOD RUNNING ARMADILLO PROSTITUTION RING

Cha Cha pushed back down the bile that had shot up her throat and clicked on Wu Dog Yan’s name. The actress’s bio came up, along with a photo of her home and the address sign. Cha Cha copied the photo and searched for other usages of it.

Fourteen came up.

Apparently, Wu Dog Yan’s house was also the house of ten other celebrities, four politicians, and one serial killer.

‘Taat,’ said Cha Cha, slamming her laptop shut.

‘No address?’ asked Zade.

‘Nuut.’

‘Sorry.’

‘I haven’t given up yet.’

Zade nodded, patting her on the shoulder. ‘We can watch one of her dramas, if you want?’

‘See if she can actually act…’ muttered Luco.

Cha Cha growled at him.

‘I mean, see if she can teach you how to act,’ corrected Luco. ‘Which is your dream, remember?’

Cha Cha stopped growling, grabbed the magazine from Zade and jabbed Luco in the stomach with it.

‘Tyrant…’ he said, falling down onto his beanbag.

~~~

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[1] Cult classic film about a female dog gang member who becomes an assassin for the secret dog police, travelling across Kaatlando to take out dog enemies. It was actually banned on release for a scene where Petka tortures a corrupt police captain and his soldier wife. A lot of dog cities have a weird admiration for authority, especially police and military officers, though a lot of the working class see them as vicious and dishonest.

[2] Spicy Noodles

[3] A leopard version of Instagram/Facebook that most animals use as leopard tech is the best