~~~

That night, Zade and Cha Cha sat at home, waiting for Luco to come back. Their flat wasn’t large at all, but it was comfortable compared to others in Maw Gung[1]. And it was definitely an upgrade on the worker dorms they used to live in, where sixteen workers had to share one bathroom and sleep in the same room.

Ka, their flat wasn’t that bad. There was a decent kitchen, window bars, functioning TV, sofa that could turn into a bed, four Wu Dog Yan posters on the living room walls, and a little beanbag in the corner for Luco to sit on. They each had their own room, with Zade choosing the smallest one as he was so passive. What does passive mean here? It means you’ll choose to take the smallest room in the flat even though you’re four times bigger than everyone else.

‘Who’s that tiger?’ asked Cha Cha, looking up from her TALK SNAKE IN 30 DAYS textbook and focusing on the TV Screen, where there was a whole police station of identical-looking tigers typing on computers.

‘That’s Lieutenant Raaa.’

‘And that tiger?’

‘That’s Lieutenant Raaaa.’

‘And the tiger standing on the desk with the gun?’

‘Ah, that’s my favourite character. Lieutenant Raaaaa.’

‘Huh? You mean they all have the same name?’

‘Nuut, of course not, that would be confusing. That tiger is called Lieutenant Raaa, the tiger next to him is Lieutenant Raaaa, and the tiger with the gun is Lieutenant Raaaaa.’

‘I feel like you’re saying the same name three times.’

‘Nuut, nuut, their names are very different.’

‘Raa, raa and raa?’

‘It’s the tiger language, very difficult, very subtle. You need to be a tiger to understand it fluently.’

‘But they all look the same too.’

‘Are you kidding? They have completely different faces.’

‘I don’t see it.’

‘Ka…probably because you’re not a tiger.’

‘Is that it? Nuut kaata. Dog TV dramas have different dog faces and different dog names, it’s so much easier to watch. Snake dramas too. Each character…each snake…will be a different colour, or have some stripe that’s a different colour so you can differentiate them.’

Zade shrugged. ‘It’s no problem for me. Anyway, the tiger drama stories are not confusing, they’re really well-…well-painted…well-planned...nuut…’

‘Well-plotted?’

‘Ka, that’s it. I knew it began with a P.’

‘Are they? I’ll be honest, I don’t really understand what’s happening. Even with the subtitles.’

‘It’s simple,’ said Zade, leaning closer to the TV. ‘The three main tiger policemen are the heroes and everyone else is a bad guy who can’t be trusted. Just like the old tiger legends.’

‘But all they seem to do is argue with each other then go outside and beat up the bad tigers.’

‘Ka, that’s why it’s so good. And those bad tigers aren't tigers, they're tiger actors pretending to be cats, dressed up as them.’

Cha Cha nodded, frowned, shrugged, then stared longingly at the remote control. ‘Hmm, you don’t wanna watch the dog drama instead?’

‘Huh? Again?’

‘Don’t be fake surprised. You know they’re on every night, we’ve watched like five of them together.’

Zade grunted. ‘I forgot.’

‘It’s only Saturday and Sunday that they don’t show them. I don’t know why.’

‘Tiger dramas are only on once a week, to build anticipation.’

‘Ah, no good. Too long to wait.’

‘Sometimes.’

Cha Cha raised a paw in the air as if the remote control would just magically appear there. ‘That means you want to watch the dog drama.’

‘Not really.’

‘Just for five minutes…to see what’s happening.’

‘I’m watching this.’

‘Wah…please, Zade? You can watch your tiger drama another time.’

‘Cannot.’

‘There’s only one episode a week so you won’t fall behind. Ka, you can, just go online and look for a mole site.[2]’

‘That’s a lot of effort.’

‘Not really. 321dramaniac.com is a good one, use that.’

‘Nuut kaata…’

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

‘So, I can switch over?’

‘I thought you were studying Snake language?’

‘Taking a break.’

‘You’ve only been reading it for 10 minutes.’

‘And now I’m taking a break. Come on, Zade, five minutes. Maybe not even that. Depends which drama’s on.’

‘Err…’

‘And if you really don’t like it, we’ll change back, I swear.’

Zade looked at his favourite character, Lieutenant Raaaaa, waving his gun around on screen, then shrugged and said, ‘okay, if you want.’

‘Thanks, Zade-ism. You’re the best.’

‘But only for a bit. And don’t call me that.’

Cha Cha smiled, mimed a sewing of the lips then picked up the remote control and switched channels. A dog in a vest appeared, surrounded by cats with long, sharp claws. ‘Ah, it’s not the thing from last week, it’s another one, the new Brude Furhide series…can’t believe I forgot about it.’

‘Sounds like an action drama,’ said Zade, squinting at the dog glowering through a ludicrously dense bank of cigarette smoke on screen.

‘Kind of, ka. Brude’s a police dog, very tough, a bit of a maverick. But he’s funny too, and good at science, and reciting poetry. Actually, he’s pretty good at everything.’

Zade slumped back on the couch and watched the action unfold. Brude Furhide driving around some rough-looking streets for two minutes then strolling into a warehouse and beating up a gang of cats without getting one scratch on his whole body. Zade sighed. ‘Seems like he prefers fighting the most.’

‘Ka, he can beat anyone up. Which is realistic as most dog criminals can’t fight, they just attack in big groups.’

‘Like in Dogyo…’

‘Ka, exactly. Don’t think this is Dogyo though. Streets are too narrow. Looks more like Mum Bark[3].’

‘I’ve never been there.’

‘Me neither. Just guessing.’

The two of them watched a little more, Brude Furhide walking into a boat shop, getting jumped by eight dogs and then beating them all up with a single plastic oar grabbed off the wall.

‘That was weird,’ said Zade, sliding lower and lower down the couch.

‘He can use anything as a weapon.’

‘Even his gun?’

‘Ha, sometimes. But just shooting stuff is boring. And not dramatic at all. See, look at that, he’s using a shoelace to whip that dog.’

‘Very creative.’

‘Ka. It’s a shame Luco isn’t here to see this. I think Dog Lee helped to choreograph the action scenes…’

Zade looked out the window, at the darkening sky. ‘It’s getting late, he should be back soon…’

‘Shhh…’ said Cha Cha already staring like a zombie at the TV.

The two of them stayed on the sofa for a long time, watching the rest of the Brude Furhide drama and then the local news. Nothing interesting had happened in Dogholm that day. Just a crazy dog falling down a hole in the road and a minibus crashing into a lamp post. They switched channels and watched DogChef.

‘It’s getting really late now,’ said Zade, looking at his wrist, remembering he didn’t have a watch anymore then looking at the clock on the wall.

‘Luco will be back soon, don’t worry.’

‘Ka, I guess you’re right.’

However, when the snake came out of the clock on the wall and hissed eleven times, even Cha Cha started to get worried. Luco didn’t usually come back this late, especially when they all had to work early the next morning [actually, they had to work early every morning except Sunday, which was their only day off].

‘Maybe we should call him,’ said Zade.

‘Good idea.’

‘It is?’

‘This time, ka.’

Cha Cha grabbed her phone and went to Luco’s number. The picture next to it was of Luco sleeping with a beard and moustache drawn on his face. The name wasn’t Luco either, it was Clown Show. She pressed the call icon and waited, but there was no answer. She tried again, but the result was the same.

‘Do you think he’s okay?’ asked Zade, looking at the night sky outside the window.

‘Ka, probably on his way back now.’

‘But it is really late…even for coming home. And you know how abrasive Luco can be sometimes…’

‘Abrasive…you mean annoying?’

‘Nuut kaata, I just think Luco can wind people up sometimes. And if he winds up the wrong dog…’

‘It could definitely happen.’

Zade frowned. ‘Maybe we should go to Bambamboo Park, see if he’s still there?’

‘You mean…you wanna go now?’

‘Nuut, I don’t wanna go at all. Just want to make sure he’s not in trouble.’

‘It’s fifteen stations away.’

‘Eleven.’

‘Still pretty far. Anyway, he’s been going there for the last three weeks and nothing’s happened. Bambamboo Park’s not even that dangerous…’

Zade shook his head, and one of his paws too. ‘Not on the main road, but if you go down the alleys, or into the park, and you’re not lucky… something bad could happen.’

‘Unlucky,’ said Cha Cha, correcting him.

‘Huh?’

‘It’s unlucky.’

‘What did I say?’

‘Not lucky. It’s still understandable, but we don’t say it like that.’

‘You mean, all this time I’ve been living here, I’ve been making the same mistake?’

‘Pretty much, ka. Doesn’t matter though. Not lucky works too, it’s just a bit weird.’

‘Six years saying it wrong…unlucky…un…lucky…’

‘Forget it, really. It’s not a big deal.

Zade repeated unlucky a few times, trying to cement it in his brain, then looked at the clock again. ‘Are we going to Bambamboo Park or...’

‘Ka, okay, if it’ll make you feel better,’ said Cha Cha, not moving an inch. Zade waited another minute, but no part of her body moved, not even her eyes.

‘We’re going then?’ he asked again, putting on his hoodie.

‘After this episode.’

‘I thought DogChef was over.’

‘It is.’

‘Then what are you watching now?’

‘I changed channels. They’re showing an old Wu Dog Yan drama, I forgot all about it.’

‘You mean you’ve seen it before?’

‘Shhh, it’s coming back on.’

Zade stood by the door, half watching the dog drama on TV, half thinking of the dark, dangerous alleys of Bambamboo Park. Had Luco been attacked while walking home? There were some nasty dog gangs that sometimes wandered into that area, one or two tiger gangs as well…

Finally, the drama ended and Cha Cha jumped off the sofa, running past Zade to open the door. ‘Are you coming or not?’

‘Err…ka.’

‘You look frozen.’

‘I was waiting for you.’

‘Says the tiger to the dog already standing in the corridor, ready to leave.’

‘You were just on the sofa, not the-…’

‘No time for complaining, let’s move.’

Giving up on the trivial games, Zade zipped up his hoodie and followed Cha Cha out of their apartment block, the two of them saying a sarcastic ‘hi’ to the security dog sleeping in reception, and then quickly heading onwards to Maw Gung Gate DTR [Dog Transit Railway] station.

‘If we hurry, we can get the DTR back too…’

‘That’s assuming Luco is okay,’ replied Zade.

‘He will be.’

‘Nuut kaata…’

‘He’s too small to be attacked. They wouldn’t even notice him, let alone think he had any money.’

Zade shrugged and ran his card through the station ticket gate. He wanted to be quiet for a while, reflect on things, but then he saw two police dogs staring at him with a Make Dogholm Great Again expression, so he quickly put his hood down, slouched to make himself smaller and went back to chatting inanely with Cha Cha.

Luckily, the police dogs weren’t that close and didn’t do anything.

This time.

~~~

----------------------------------------

[1] Working class area, with the east side infested with gangs like 14.5k and Bruk-ka Claw.

[2] A mole site is basically the same as a torrent site or movie-streaming site, but if you get caught in Dogholm you go to prison for 6 months. If you’re a tiger, polar bear or snake, that turns into 3 years.

[3] A dog city east of Dogyo, famous for its rollercoaster poverty rate, fishing industry and failed technology hub, Cyberdock. Some dogs say Mumbark is being punished by other cities for its revolution 70 years ago, where the mayor at that time tried to implement changes modelled on the Leopard system of Government and ended up making citizens very, very radical. Of course, that sentence won’t make any sense until our main characters visit Mum Bark in a later story. And by then you will have forgotten this footnote.