~~~

When Zade half-popped his head out of the grave and looked around, he was shocked at first as everything was in shadow. He put a paw out to stop the others, then withdrew it straight away when he remembered that it was dusk.

They’d been on the island and around the castle for almost six hours. It felt more like four and a half.

Zade pulled himself up onto the dirt around the grave then turned back to help the others. Luco was still being dragged by his jacket, complaining about being gagged all the time, but no one was listening.

‘Okay, what now?’ asked Zade, looking at the church and then at the path leading back down the hill.

‘We go back and find Dog Lee,’ said Luco, raising his paw in the air.

‘Anyone else?’

‘Head to the water,’ replied Wu Dog Yan quickly, ‘same way we came.’

‘Not in there?’ Zade gestured towards the little church.

‘Nuut. Deathtrap.’

Zade nodded and frowned at the same time.

‘You think we lost it…the mist?’ asked Cha Cha, squinting at the

Cracks and edges of the castle nearby.

‘There’s a chance.’

‘A big chance?’

Wu Dog Yan waved her paws in front of Cha Cha’s face. ‘We don’t have time for probabilities, let’s go.’

‘Ka, master.’

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’

‘She called you master,’ said Luco, ducking the fist that Cha Cha swung at his shoulder. ‘Non-sarcastically.’

Wu Dog Yan glared at Cha Cha. ‘Don’t do that again.’

‘Sorry…Dog Yan.’

‘Slightly better.’

‘Are we still escaping or…?’ asked Zade.

All three animals glared at the tiger, probably the only tiger in the world they’d ever be brave enough to do that to.

‘To the water?’ he added.

‘The boat.’

‘Got it.’

‘Dog Lee’s boat,’ said Luco, under his breath.

Zade led the way out of the graveyard, not telling anyone the thought that had just crossed his mind. It was dark already, there’s no way the boat aunty would still be waiting for them. However, there was no point being negative at this point, they’d just shout at him, and besides, all they needed to do was get into the water and the mist would leave them alone. At least, that’s what he guessed would happen. The mist hadn’t gone near the water in the cave. It could be useless above anything that wasn’t land. Or maybe it was because none of them had gone into the cave water.

And another thing…what if they got into the water and the mist just waited for them by the shore? There was no way they could swim anywhere, and it would be hard to tread water all night. Or longer than that…there was no guarantee someone would come to look for them.

Zade was so deep in thought that he almost didn’t notice that Wu Dog Yan had stopped right in front of him. She held out her paw and shouted for him to stop, and it was just about enough; he knocked her shoulder slightly, but that was all.

‘The mist…’ she said, pointing at the path in front of them and the grass on either side. ‘It’s coming out of the ground.’

‘How…’

‘We’re being surrounded.’

Cha Cha looked at her idol, her eyes big and scared. ‘What do we do?’

Wu Dog Yan looked down at Cha Cha and thought about saying, ‘don’t worry, we’ll be okay,’ but didn’t. There was no point in lying. ‘Nuut kaata.’

‘We can’t go forward…’ said Zade, looking for possible spots between the different trails of mist that they could squeeze through. ‘It’s joining together, cutting us off.’

‘We could make it…’ muttered Wu Dog Yan.

‘Nuut, it’s too dense, too far.’

‘Then we go back to the church,’ said Luco, surprisingly calm.

‘We’ll be trapped,’ responded Wu Dog Yan.

‘Nuut, think about it. What are churches famous for?’

‘Collecting money.’

‘Well, ka, but what else?’

‘Child abuse.’

‘Err…nuut. Something positive.’

‘The mist is getting closer,’ said Cha Cha, instinctively stepping back

behind Wu Dog Yan.

‘For protecting people, offering sanctuary. I bet you a thousand dollars, the mist won’t get in.’

Wu Dog Yan looked over at the church and the cliff behind it. ‘That’s a poor reason. But I suppose it’s better than jumping onto sharp rocks.’

‘Much better,’ said Luco, proudly.

‘Okay, we run to the church, barricade the doors and…’

‘Pray,’ said Cha Cha.

Wu Dog Yan frowned, then quickly turned it into a nod. Once again, all four animals started running, heading away from the path that would’ve taken them off the island and, instead, towards the place that would either be their sanctuary or their tomb. Probably their tomb.

Luckily, the mist hadn’t followed them out of the tunnels, which was quite creepy in a way, thought Wu Dog Yan, as if it had just come out of the tunnel then it would just be like a simple monster without any planning…but it had surrounded the graveyard instead, cutting off all paths of escape, meaning it had a brain, meaning it was hunting them, meaning that maybe, maybe it was enjoying this.

Wu Dog Yan shuddered as she had the thought, almost dropping the plank of wood that acted as a door lock in the church. Zade grabbed the other end and helped her to put it in place, patting her on the shoulder and saying, ‘don’t worry, I think Luco might be right.’

‘I hope so.’

They all sat down on the front pew, checked the walls for any cracks or secret doors, took four or five deep breaths and waited.

For a few minutes, nothing happened. Then the door started to shake. Probably the largest door on the whole island and the mist was shaking it like a crisp packet. Fortunately, the hinges were strong and the cracks were too tiny to squeeze through. Or the mist was reluctant to come through and, as an alternative, was intent on scaring them out. Either way, the door shook a little while longer, continuing to avoid

damage, before stopping abruptly.

‘Nothing without a brain stops that quickly,’ muttered Zade.

‘Shhh…’

‘It’s mist,’ said Cha Cha, ‘it can’t be alive…’

‘Can’t it?’

More silence, interrupted only by ragged animal breathing. No one wanted to say, ka, we’re being hunted, though they all thought it. But thoughts were in their heads for a reason. No one wanted to hear that taat.[1] Ragged breathing was better.

Several minutes passed.

More silence.

A few more rattlings of the door and the windows.

Then silence again.

‘Do you think we should pray?’ Cha Cha asked after hearing a whistling sound outside.

‘Nuut,’ said Wu Dog Yan.

‘You’re not religious?’

‘Not enough to pray.’

Cha Cha nodded and sat back on the bench. She stared at the altar at the other end of the church. There was another whistling sound outside, either the wind or the mist trying to break the glass with high-pitched audio waves. Cha Cha turned back to her friends.

‘Luco?’

‘Ka?’

‘Are you gonna pray?’

‘Hamsters don’t have gods.’

‘Really?’

‘We believe in logic and reason.’

‘Then where did this world come from, what are we doing here?’

‘Circular Oncology.’

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

‘Huh?’

‘It’s a dog word.’

‘I don’t know it.’

‘Ha, I guess my vocab isn’t so bad after all.’

‘I didn’t say I was a professor of language…’ said Cha Cha, her expression completely neutral.

‘It’s Circular Ontology, actually,’ said Wu Dog Yan.

‘That’s what I said,’ answered Luco firmly.

‘You said Oncology. Which is the study of tumors.’

‘I know what oncology is, and I know I didn’t say it.’

‘Okay.’

‘I said the other one, the word you said.’

Wu Dog Yan smirked.

‘What does it mean?’ asked Cha Cha.

‘It’s complicated,’ replied Luco, still glancing at Wu Dog Yan. ‘God is the first, but who is before God and who is before that and who is before that.’

‘You mean who made God?’

‘Kind of. Not really.’ The windows rattled again, then the front door. ‘I’ll explain it some other time, when we’re not being hassled by sentient mist. And after we’ve saved Dog Lee.’

Cha Cha turned to Zade, who anticipated her question. ‘I don’t know what it means.’

‘Nuut, do you pray?’

‘In churches? Nuut, nuut…tigers have heroes, not gods.’

‘The heroes are gods?’

‘They didn’t make us, they just tell us how to behave. Don’t kill weaker creatures, don’t torture fish, stuff like that. Nuut, not gods. Heroes.’

Cha Cha looked at the pulpit at the front of the church, the one with the hanging dog motif. ‘So, dogs are the only ones who have a god.’

‘Cats have a god,’ said Wu Dog Yan, checking the front door again. ‘So do Polar bears. Some Leopards. Raccoons. I think penguins worship some kind of sky fog…’

‘Purple sky fog?’ asked Luco, half smirking.

‘Funny.’

Cha Cha nodded. ‘So, dogs, cats, polar bears, leopards and penguins are the only ones who have a god?’

Wu Dog Yan smiled.

‘Maybe you should pray,’ said Zade. ‘Make yourself feel better.’

Cha Cha looked down at the floor.

‘Not that way,’ said Zade. ‘I mean, look at the altar.’

Cha Cha smiled, just for the briefest moment and looked over at the altar. There was the pulpit, where the dog priest would give the sermon and behind that was the famous image of…

Wait a minute…

Cha Cha got up and walked to the altar, squinting as she got close to the picture of the dog saviour. She looked similar, she was wearing robes, but…she had a stick in her paw, and her eyes…

‘Was it like this before?’ Cha Cha asked, turning to the others.

‘The window?’

‘Nuut, the painting of Gau-essa[2]. Did it look like this before?’

Zade scrutinised the painting from his pew. ‘I think so. Why?’

Cha Cha tried to place a finger on Gau-essa’s eyes, but they were too high up so she settled for her knee. ‘This isn’t God.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘The face is similar, but her eyes…they’re purple. The real Gau-essa had brown eyes.’

Luco waved his paw through the air. ‘It’s just a poor-quality picture, relax. Maybe the painter wasn’t that good, maybe he didn’t get paid and decided to mess up the image…’

‘Or maybe it’s one of the other Gods,’ whispered Wu Dog Yan.

‘Other Gods?’ asked Zade.

‘I thought dogs only had one?’ added Luco.

‘That’s what most dogs think, it’s not that common to know otherwise.’ Wu Dog Yan paused, checked the front door again then, satisfied that the mist was still outside, leaned back on the pew. ‘I did a movie before…’

‘You did a movie?’ asked Cha Cha, surprised.

‘A long time ago. It was a small thing, not publicised. The point is, I learnt about dog history on that movie, the weird side of dog history…’

‘That’s why you knew about that rock earlier.’

‘And…ka, nuut, that was just basic history, every dog knows that.’

‘I didn’t.’

‘You knew the name…’

Cha Cha dipped her head.

‘Maybe not the rock part, but…anyway. There’s a dark side…of religion, worship, whatever you wanna call it. Several old gods, before the god we believe in now, or some of us believe in, and those gods were basically…’

‘Ah, forget fairytales,’ said Luco, pointing at the windows. ‘The real point is, the mist isn’t coming in, we’re all safe, just like I predicted.’

‘Possibly,’ said Wu Dog Yan.

‘Do you see any mist in here?’

‘Not yet.’

‘Don’t be vague, there isn’t any. No mist. I win. Now all we need to do is think of a way to save Dog Lee.’

Wu Dog Yan glared at the top of Luco’s head. ‘You really are one of the most annoying hamsters I’ve ever met.’

‘Ha, you just don’t like being wrong.’

‘Nuut, I don’t like you being right. There’s a difference.’

Luco looked astonished for a second then clapped his paws. ‘That’s exactly what my mum used to say.’

Wu Dog Yan smirked, then quickly remembered where she was and what was happening and turned to look at the front door, followed by the windows.

‘I’m telling you, it’s not getting in,’ said Luco, sitting back on the pew, struggling to get comfortable against the hard backboard, and leaning forward again.

‘You shouldn’t jinx us,’ said Zade, also checking the door.

‘Jinxes are not logical, any hamster will tell you that, even the dumb ones.’

‘Neither is mist that can eat cats.’

Cha Cha blocked out the petty arguments coming from the pew and re-focused on the image behind the pulpit. If Wu Dog Yan was right, if this was a God of evil then she’d just prayed to it. Would Gau-essa, the real dog God, ever forgive her? Did she even believe in Gau-essa? Wasn’t she just praying to make herself feel calmer about the cat-devouring mist outside? Didn’t every dog do that? Had Gau-essa really dropped a giant hospital on the Kostic Cats[3] all those millennia ago? Was anyone in the hospital at the time?

She closed her eyes and put her paws together, pointing her head towards the roof of the church. She recited a famous prayer in old dog language, adding a few extra lines at the end to beg for mercy, then opened her eyes.

Then screamed.

Up above, seeping through the cracks of the ceiling were about a hundred different tendrils of purple mist. Wu Dog Yan reacted first, springing to her feet and ordering everyone out the front door.

Zade was closest and got there first, yanking out the plank of wood acting as a lock, and pulling open both doors.

‘That’s not good…’ he muttered, looking at the blanket of purple staring back at him. Weirdly, for a second, it actually looked like a face, an old dog face, but as soon as Luco reached Zade’s side it had transformed back into a general blanket of mist.

‘Charge through it,’ shouted Luco, waving at the others to follow behind him.

‘It’s too thick,’ said Zade.

‘We can make it.’

‘Nuut…’

Luco made a ‘pah’ sound, which was possibly a hamster word, no one knew, then ran forward. He braced himself for contact with the mist, but probably shouldn’t have bothered as Zade was holding onto his jacket sleeve.

‘What are you doing? Let go of me.’

‘We’re not going back into the mist,’ said Zade.

‘It’s not that bad…’

‘Tell that to the cat.’

‘How? He’s dead. That was a weird question.’

Zade didn’t bother continuing the conversation. Instead, he dragged Luco over to the others, who were standing on one of the pews near the window.

‘You idiots,’ said Luco, struggling to free himself from Zade’s grip. ‘We’ve gotta go through it to get out of here, might as well take it by surprise.’

‘Shut it, Luco.’

‘Then we can get on with the business of rescuing Dog Lee.’

‘Luco…’

‘I’ve been thinking about it and all we need to do is hit him on the head and he’ll stop being weird. That’s how possession usually works. Hit them on the head, they wake up and say, ‘huh? What happened?’’

Wu Dog Yan hit Luco on the head.

‘Hey…’

‘We’re going through the window.’

‘But…’

‘Before that mist…’ she pointed up at the ceiling, which was now completely covered by the purple smoke. ‘…gets down here and sucks off all our flesh.’

Luco folded his arms and looked at the window. ‘How do you know it’s not right outside there too?’

‘The windows aren’t shaking as much as before…’

‘That’s your reasoning?’

‘With a bit of luck we can get out there, climb down the cliff and circle around the island using the rocks.’

‘A bit of luck? We’ll fall, those cliffs are massive.’

‘Are you coming or not?’

‘Not.’

Wu Dog Yan muttered something in dog language and then turned to pick up a metal box sitting on a little pedestal nearby. She shook it to test the weight, and there was the sound of coins jangling inside.

‘A collection box?’ asked Zade.

‘Should be heavy enough.’

‘But…who’s putting money in it?’

Wu Dog Yan shrugged, faced the window, aimed, did a few practice throws then dropped her arm back and flung the metal box as hard as she could.

Luckily, the glass was poor quality and shattered as soon as it was hit. The box disappeared outside, leaving behind a lovely, massive hole big enough for even Zade to climb through.

‘I thought it was gonna bounce off the glass…’ said Zade, as he lifted Cha Cha up to the hole that used to be a window.

‘Ka, we’ve had some bad luck, it’s true…’ said Wu Dog Yan, checking on the front door and the ceiling, and then Luco. ‘You still keen on the front door?’

‘Nuut, I’m taking the window. Obviously.’

‘You’re welcome.’

‘What? I didn’t say it wouldn’t work. I just asked a few questions.’

‘More climbing, less talking.’

‘Front door strategy would’ve worked too.’

‘Luco…’

‘Ka, ka, I know…’

All four heroes climbed through the hole and jumped onto the grass outside. They straightened up and looked around. It was darker now, but they could still make out the ten or so metre distance to the edge of the cliff. As for the graveyard, it had been completely enveloped by the purple mist, which was currently forming a wall on both sides of the church, as well as a roof above.

‘I told you…’ said Luco, looking smug.

‘Told us what?’ asked Cha Cha, annoyed.

‘We have to go through it, there’s no other way.’

‘If we go through it, we’ll die,’ said Zade.

‘Forget suicide, Dog Yan has a plan.’ Cha Cha looked over at Wu Dog Yan, who was standing at the cliff edge, peering down below. ‘Dog Yan?’

‘It’s too high, too rocky…’

‘What?’

Wu Dog Yan turned around, and shook her head. ‘We can’t make it. I’m sorry.’

‘But…’

‘It’s really too dangerous?’ asked Zade, walking over to Wu Dog Yan and checking the drop himself. But she was right. As soon as he looked down, he saw the rocks, and the side of the cliff sticking out almost two metres. Any attempt at climbing would be futile. As for jumping, the sea itself was another three metres or so away, and even if they did somehow make it to the water, which they wouldn’t, there were probably rocks hidden just beneath the surface for them to splatter themselves on.

‘It pains me to say it, but Luco’s right,’ said Wu Dog Yan, zipping up her jacket, putting her paws inside her sleeves and lifting the top part over her head. ‘We’re gonna have to go through it.’

‘Luco’s right?’ asked Cha Cha, too shocked to move.

‘You should zip up your jacket too. Put your hood over your head. Copy what I’m doing.’

‘We can’t go through it…’ said Cha Cha.

‘We have to…’

‘It’s too thick…and purple…’

‘There’s no other way. It’s trapped us. Either we go through it and give ourselves a chance or we just stand here and die like turtles.’

‘Wait…’ screamed Cha Cha even though no one was moving anywhere. ‘Wait a second…look…it’s stopped. Maybe it won’t attack us.’

‘She’s right,’ said Zade, pointing at the mist, ‘it’s not moving. Maybe it’s lost energy or…’

‘It’s playing with us,’ said Wu Dog Yan.

‘Like a leopard with a turtle…’ said Luco through gritted teeth.

‘It’s mist, not a leopard…’

As soon as Zade finished speaking, the mist started to swirl, transforming itself into a very long, very creepy face. Then the eyes appeared. Two black holes in the middle of the purple, staring right at them.

‘Definitely playing with us…’ repeated Wu Dog Yan.

‘Are we gonna keep chatting all night or are we gonna show this thing who’s boss?’ shouted Luco.

‘It’s moving time,’ said Wu Dog Yan, taking deep breaths. ‘You ready?’

‘I can’t…’ said Cha Cha.

‘Just stay behind Zade.’

‘I really can’t…’

‘Stay behind him.’

‘My legs…’

‘Good luck everyone.’

‘Wait…’

Wu Dog Yan didn’t wait and neither did Luco. The two of them ran forward, Luco doing some kind of battle cry, and vanished into one of the eyeholes in the mist.

‘Zade…my legs…’ said Cha Cha, looking up, her eyes terrified. ‘They won’t stop shaking.’

‘I’ve got you.’

Zade pulled the hood of her jacket over the top of her head then lifted her onto his back. ‘Ready?’

‘Nuut.’

‘Me neither.’

He looked ahead into the vast cloud of purple, took two, three deep breaths then sprinted forward, growling as he went. He aimed for the swirly part of the mist, figuring it was the least powerful, or the least likely to peel off their skin quickly, and just as he was about to collide with it, a slim figure came charging out the other way.

‘Waaa…’

Zade tried to stop, and managed to slow down a little, but not enough to stop himself [and Cha Cha] bumping body first into Wu Dog Yan. They all fell down onto the grass, groaning.

‘What happened?’ asked Wu Dog Yan, rubbing the burnt patches of fur on her paw and face.

‘You ran out of the mist…’

‘What?’

She spun around quickly, letting out a semi-howl when she realised the scenery was the same.

‘You just ran out…’ said Zade, trying to look sympathetic.

‘I thought I was running forward, not … … … …’ The second part of Wu Dog Yan’s sentence was drowned out by the noise of a very powerful engine, possibly a lawnmower.

‘What?’

‘I said … … … … …’

‘I can’t hear you, what did you … … … … …’

Wu Dog Yan got back to her feet and ran to the edge of the cliff. She peered over the edge again and then quickly threw herself backwards as spinning blades, followed by a helicopter, rose up from the rocks below.

~~~

----------------------------------------

[1] Shit.

[2] The founder of the Dog religion, an ancient mythical figure who was murdered and resurrected seven times before opening the first church, which focused on healing wounds and selling magic bones. Nowadays, no one talks about the magic bones part much. Or the fact that Gau-essa got revenge on four of the dogs who had killed her by having them murdered by her fans. The three other dogs who had murdered her pleaded insanity and eventually joined her church as house DJs.

[3] Another legend of Gau-essa. A hundred years after Gau-essa had died for the eighth and final time, the Kostic Cats invaded dog territory and were on the verge of winning a great battle when, out of the sky, fell a giant hospital. Several witnesses claimed to see the glowing figure of Gau-essa floating on a cloud-like platform, which later became accepted fact. Strangely, there were no giant hospitals falling from the sky twelve years later when the Kostic Cats returned and conquered several dog cities.