When a catseye reaches maturity, their Eji’derr tests them. If they are not chosen, Catseye will leave without any harm done. It will show you what lies inside the wild. Rarely the Eji’derr of the wilderness will choose one of us and place its mark. A mark that is so strong that it destroys the person inside out.

It grants vision, knowledge beyond imagination.

It grants strength, power above all.

It grants freedom, breaking your limits.

I still remember my test.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

First, the pain took control of me. Places of me that I didn’t know I had were hurt. It plucked feathers from my wings. Pulled my claws out of my skin. Cut my tail into bits. Every bone in my body was broken down one by one, healed, and broken again. My body adapted to every imaginable type of pain, then the pain adapted to me. I swam up to breathe but every time I was close to the surface, it pulled me deeper.

Watch.

Destroy.

Do.

My war against pain lasted for an eternity. But even eternity was over. Once the pain was gone, there was nothing. I found myself in empty plains, filled to the brim with silence. A silent wave crashed, flooding the plains with life. Shadows spread from the wave and took shapes from the wilds. The shadows prowled, stalking every breath I took. All it took was a moment of hesitation from me. They all pounced at the opportunity.

Be aware of every attack. Leave no openings. Fight.

Strike first. Give no quarter. Fight.

Calm down. Have no doubts. Fight.

I fought. I lost. I stood up. They pushed back. They won. I fought back. My body shifted. My body fought. My mind sharpened. My mind fought. My soul roared. My soul fought. I fought. I won. The shadows turned into wild reflections and attacked in a single motion. I had to observe, adapt, and overcome before I could blink. I shut my mind down and let my instincts spread freely. After another eternity, my instincts had full control and the shadows stopped.

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A heavy silence started. I walked towards the shadows, they disappeared one by one. I kept walking, they kept disappearing. I found myself on the ledge of an empty cliff. A shadow was on the ledge as well. It turned its blank eyes to me. Its feathers flapped a gust, moving me closer to the ledge. It gawked a mock.

“Dream o’ wolf. Dream of gold, dream of skies. Open your eyes and listen. I am the goldeagle, I am wisdom. Accept me o’ wolf, see beyond the clouds.”

I tried to move towards the shadow cased in gold but I felt the ground beneath me shift. As if it was quicksand, my steps kept sinking. There was another shadow stalking me. I turned around towards its presence to witness its massive size. The large shadow's low growl vibrated the earth, shaking the ground loose.

“Dream o’ wolf. Dream of power, dream of deserts. Gather strength and unleash storms. I am the sandbear, I am destruction. Accept me o’ wolf, dominate the land itself.”

A gust took away my breath and the land slowly swallowed me, I endured. When I was reaching my limit, a shadow took my hand and pulled me away. It had endlessly long arms and the scent of green.

“Dream o’ wolf. Dream of freedom, dream of jungles. Don’t doubt and do as you wish. I am the ivymonkey, I am liberty. Accept me o’ wolf, break the chains of reality.”

Three shadows prowled around me, I raised the hairs on the back of my neck and growled back. I felt a claw digging at the gem on my back, digging its way out of the gem.

Kneel.

Kneel.

Kneel.

My gem crawled out of my body and slithered away. As I was crawling from the unbearable pain, it grew bigger and bigger. It wasn’t like the shadows, it took its form from the gem. A gracious feline body, as green as the Sacredwoods, and the dark eyes of the true apex predator… When the Eji’derr spoke with rumbles, everything fell silent to listen to their king.

“Dreaming Wolf, you have been chosen. I offer before you three guardian spirits of the wild. Whichever your heart desires shall guide you on your hunts. It will protect you and you will protect it, you will grow together, you will hunt together, and you will die together. Pick and forge the bond that shall never break.”

Their voices got louder, louder, and louder.

Wolf, wake up.

Wolf, wake up.

Wolf, wake up.

I woke up from this memory of mine. The spirits were looking at me with hungry eyes. I bared my teeth at them, still a bit drowsy from my rest. My stomach growled along with me to let me know it was time to hunt. We hunters of the Catseye, protector of the Sacredwoods only hunted when we needed. “Hunt, if you must.” is the law written deep within our gems. I was hungry, so I went out to hunt.

Have patience, Wolf. Let your prey show its weakness before you strike.

Nonsense! Anyone can prey on the weak, if you have enough power they shall fall before you.

These two always take the thrill of the hunt away, Wolf. As if thinking ever helped you…

It's been too long since the test, I no longer had any memories without the three voices. There wasn’t a way to control this so I learned to live with them. Though they were helpful and had their unique pearls of wisdom to give, the clash between them made it impossible to choose the correct path. I bellowed with my inner spirit.

“Enough… Not my first hunt… Not my last.”