Chapter 19: SCP-3008-1, Infinite Ikea

The Starship landed on what happened to be an Ikea, but it seemed to be open and functioning, yet abandoned massive furniture mall know as Ikea. With everything that is there, Mega Man X got off first to survey the area, insisting that he should land first to make sure that no shadow bugs were anyway. Once he found out that nothing was wrong going on there, he told everyone through an intercom he had with Samus that's okay, but said that the building looks off, and they should think things through before they enter the building, as the blue reploid states that he does not have good vibes over the place. Samus parks the Starship down into the parking lot, and everyone all got off. Homer saw Ikea, and he remembered the food he ate there once, and the fact that Ikea has a T.V., so he believe he can watch his programs that he missed, and he wanted to go right inside, believing that he finally obtain those things at the same time he will be safe from the corruption... somehow. As everyone's favorite yellow skin idiot tries to get into the building, Samus quickly used her grapple beam to pull Homer away, along with Link using his clawshot and Sailor Venus using Venus Love Me Chain. Sailor Venus quickly told Homer in a furious manner that they should not go in right away, as it could be a trap. Samus then notes that there is a barred fence around the Furniture Store along with a sign at the front that clearly says “DO NOT ENTER” down below saying “SCP 3008” with the logo of the SCP Foundation, sharing the anger as Sailor Venus and everyone else, but even higher. Although upon seeing this, Crono suggested that this Ikea is created by the SCP in order to contain prisoners judging from the fact that people seem to never come out, but Terra and Mega Man X really wondered if that's really true.

While Homer begged to go in there, nobody listened, as Samus told Homer that he should just be quiet and stay out of the decision making. Homer then insists that he should be in charge since he's the oldest, and they should let him actually have the final say. Ike responded by saying that they all have a vote, to which Homer agrees, as he elected himself. But the fourteen unanimously agreed that Homer should not get involved. Then the team collectively except for the nuclear technician thought up of an idea, although Crono would be left out after saying they should all just barge in there. Ike actually joked about sending Homer in there as a guinea pig, although no one found the humor in that during those dark times. Although Mario agreed that they should at least have some joy once in a while, in order to keep the sanity that the have. Then Lupin III came up with an idea, and decided that it would be best to send in a drone, in order to prevent any kind of accidents, or lost in their them. He brought out the drone, made from any scraps he could find, and sent it in. As the Master Thief was controlling the drone like a video game character, he mostly just saw endless lines of high quality furniture that seemed to go on forever. He did see some Ikea Staff, but they had no faces and long arms, but they did wore the usual blue and yellow workers uniforms. Then they came across what happens to be a survivor community there with piles of furniture, such as chairs and tables stacked together. They saw one person come out with what appeared to be a makeshift spear, with more following, and they looked like any normal humans unlike the staff, also unlike the team, they were realistic looking rather than having cartoonish and anime aesthetics. Everyone in the team looked over the screen, and Lupin III tried to get the drone out, but could not find any exit. The thief got frustrated that he could not find a way to get his drone out, and Ike told him that it’s gone, and to leave it behind. The Radiant Hero told everyone that he thinks the Ikea is a trap, as explained his reasoning for the fences, cameras and the “Don’t Enter” sign. Ike stated that the SCP Foundation must've known about the dangers of being trapped in there forever, so they closed it off, explaining why Lupin III can’t get his drone out of the building. He further stated that they must be in the reality that they as a foundation originate from due to some vehicles and equipment with their logo on it around the area, which the rest of the team agrees. With them now knowing that the Ikea is a trap, Simon wanted an answer for what will they do now, as he says that they will have to rest for the night before they do anything else, and that at least 3 people should stand guard for any members of the Subspace Army.

During nightfall, everyone just sat near the fire that was made, till they all fell asleep. Deedlit, Morrigan and Pikachu had stayed awake for lookout, as they walked around the camp across the night, then the spirits Salamander, Undine and Sylph had gave the elf shaman that there’s a disturbance in the nearby forest, so the three went to check it out, to see that in the middle of a road, there was a Subspace Bomb, as two R.O.B.s latched onto it, while a bunch of them simply surrounded the bomb. With the bomb counting down from 5 minutes, both Deedlit and Morrigan tried to detach the R.O.B.s from the bomb, as well as Pikachu trying to use his physical attacks to destroy it. The R.O.B.s did not attack them, but simply grabbed them and took the three away from the Subspace Bomb. They put them at a distance, and told them to get out to the proximity. The trio simply decided that it was not worth the effort, and they decided to run to the Ikea. They found that the team was alright, and still asleep as nobody attacked them. But just then a bunch of Shadow Bugs came out, and formed Subspace Army minions. Pikachu woke all of them up with bolts of lighting as they all got up, at first nobody like the crude awakening, but they had to prepare to fight, as they all see the ambush they were suddenly in.

There were millions, and once Crono saw that the Bomb timing was up, he told everyone that they should just go into Ikea, to avoid the Army. At first everyone disagreed strongly except for Homer, only for the Starship to get broken down, as the Primids went there and trashed it into pieces. Crono already went in, and then the rest followed without a second thought seeing no other option. Once they got into the furniture store, the Subspace Army for reasons unknown can’t seem to enter the store. Everyone in the group is relieved, and they all still have their supplies except for what was left on the ship, which included all of the portal balls. Samus was concerned that they don't have any in hand, making her concerned that she's never been in an environment like this, as panics due to the simultaneously familiarity and unfamiliarity. Lucas told her to calm down, and that the rest of the team is by her side, to which Samus thanked him for that.

In the Ikea, the light had just turned on when they were inside, the gun wielders, Lupin III, Samus and Mega Man X pointed their blasters to look out for any danger that could harm the group, but there was none. Walking through endless rows of furniture, the only life they saw were the Staff, and they all don’t know what they are and why they are there. They collectively thought that they should just leave the Staff alone, as all they do is simply wonder, and don’t pose that much of a threat. The team walk around seeing endless shelfs of furniture like with cupboards, tables, chairs, sofas and many more. They eventually found a cafeteria, where all sorts of dishes that can be found at Ikea, and only stuff that can be found at Ikea. There were meatballs, chicken tenders, hamburgers, warps, cinnamon buns, hotdogs, pizza and many other foods. Homer rushed right to the food, and started to eat, due to obvious reasons, and that he had not eaten in a long time. The same was true for everyone else, not having anything to eat since they were all on the run. Crono was the second to go after Homer to eat like a pig, and after it was Ike, as he went for the meat dishes. Everyone else followed, except for Morrigan saying she just needs “excitement” and peaking into dreams, explaining why she stayed awake, and Mega Man X who eats bolts and runs on Solar Energy. While everyone was eating at the table, they all had a discussion about how they are going to get out of the Ikea, or at least find a survival village just like what they saw through the drone.

Ike repeated what he said earlier of his pessimistic belief that they may be trapped inside for eternity. They will never go out, putting everyone down, as they can’t have excitement and they have to survive and maybe die in endless rows of furniture. Homer had the opposite attitude, as he liked that there was fresh food appearing there, and a chance for him to finally watch T.V., and noting that they may never have to deal with the Subspace Army nor the corruption ever again. Nobody agreed with him, but Lucas said he made a point, mentioning that the Subspace Army can’t seem to get in, and they should have hope that maybe they can find a settlement and survive there for their lives, stating that it's better than running forever, and the chance to be mentally enslaved or transformed. Samus was about to say something against this, but to then realize that she can't find any arguments she has against him.

Mario suggested that they should start building a fort, mentioning that the store could actually be dangerous, as he noticed that in the video, the survivors had weapons and defenses for a reason, and even knew that the staff were dangerous. The plumber in fact thinks that the Staff are actually aggressive during the "nighttime" when the store closes down, explaining that he noticed this when he actually looked at notes the SCP Foundation left behind. So then Lucas and Pikachu already started building up the base with the furniture, and everyone followed through, while Lupin III had built traps. Homer brought a T.V., got it to work, but can only just see security footage around random places around the store. One of them showed what appeared to be a few SCP agents roaming around, led by a man with a tired face. Homer just thought it was boring but about to settle, until Samus came in and told him to keep working, with him complaining. As they just finished building the defenses, the light turned off. While Link was on his way back with a queen-sized bed he was pushing there, one of the staff came up to him, and just said “Sorry sir, the store is now closed. Please exit the building” it said as it started to attack Link. The Champion quickly took out his boomerang, and threw it to push it back. Link grabbed his returned boomerang, as he drew out his Master Sword and Hylian Shield. He killed a few of the Staff that attacked him with his sword, to find out that the Staff have no blood, and are nothing but skin all the way through. He was surprised and was more creeped out that there was no gore, but he continued running, and was able to back to base without setting off any of Lupin III’s traps, as the Master Thief and Morrigan helped him get through, but leaving behind the bed. However, the Staff are now coming over to their base. Link got a lecture from Ike, as the mercenary told the Champion that he should not of have gone out when lights started to flicker. Link groaned, but he knew that Ike was right about this, and he can't deny it.

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He got tired just from running, but can’t rest, as everyone now did their best to hold back the Staff that were oncoming to their base. Lupin III shot his Walther P-38, Samus used her charged shots and missiles, Mario shoots out Fireballs, Sailor Venus kept using Crescent Beam, Lucas used PK Fire, Terra used Fira, Morrigan used Soul Fist, Pikachu shot Thunder Jolts, Mega Man X used his Mega Buster and everyone all did their best to keep the Staff away. The swordsmen, Ike, Link, Crono, Deedlit kept placing their swords through the hole, stabbing the staff who went nearby. Simon used both his whip and sub-weapons to keep them away. Eventually, the Staff attacks died down during the night, everyone was able to go to sleep, with this time, Lupin III, Mario and Morrigan decided to keep watch for any more Staff attacks. During the night, Mario said that the Staff were easier to beat than the Subspace Army, due to their weakness like a normal human. Lupin III agreed, but said that they are more persistent, saying that if Ikea is infinite, then so are the number of Staff. Mario states he prefers them to the Subspace Army and the corrupted people, since the Staff are just Mindless beings going on their day, while the corrupted people were those they knew, as the Master Thief relates. Morrigan got in as she then wondered if the Staff actually went somewhere during breaks, although more as a joke. Although they both laughed, Mario actually now wondered that too, or they just simply roam around endlessly.

The three fell asleep for a while, then lights flicked on a few hours. Everyone awoke and had breakfast from the nearby cafeteria. Simon discussed that since last night’s attack, they should maybe send out two groups of 3 people to scout the surrounding area, and then head back to base. While the vampire hunter said that another 3 should put the Staff Skin somewhere else while the rest stay to rebuild. Homer was forced to clean up the Staff, along with Ike, Crono and Mario. Pikachu went with Terra and Sailor Venus to scout, while Lucas, Mega Man X and Deedlit would go wander around to find any survivors, as finding any exits are now out of the question in order to be safe from Tabuu’s corruption.

While Terra’s group were looking around, she and Sailor Venus talked to each other about how it felt to be corrupted and turned evil. They both related that they disliked being forced to wear makeup and wear tacky outfits, along with having weird stuff coming out of their mouths, with yellow smoke in Terra’s case, and corrosive acid in Sailor Venus’s case. The two women decided that they should follow one Staff to see where it heads off to, while Pikachu wants to stay on track, Sailor Venus convinces the Pokemon that if he’s curious like they are. He went along, and after a few hours of following, the Staff just wandered aimlessly with no destination. The trio just decided to give up to find out that it was pointless, to then find what appears to be a huge settlement in the distance, there were walls surrounding what appears to be skyscrapers, and there was the SCP logo on there. The three ran back to base to tell the others about what they saw. By then, Mario, Ike, Crono and Homer already dumped the bodies, while Mega Man X, Lucas and Deedlit had returned from their expedition. Terra, Sailor Venus and Pikachu explained what they saw, everyone was exited, as they went there right away, along with the food that they stored, while Homer carried the T.V. Once the 15 have made it to the entrance, they found a huge mob of survivors outside, and not just the usual that's found in SCP-3008-1, but even familiar faces, or those who were the victims of the Corruption. Mario was shocked to find that Bowser was there along with some Goomba, Koopas and Hammer Bros. He was angry at the SCP Foundation for apparently not letting him and his minions in. Kirk Van Houten was also there saying that he’s been abused by his family then other women while escaping to find them, then there was Red, the greatest Pokemon Trainer with just his Squirtle, Ivysaur and Charizard. Everyone was protesting that there were restrictions, that they can't be let in there. The 15 saw this, and wondered right away, so Deedlit decided to talk to one of the refugees protesting, who was Mike Wazowski about what's happening. The Monster explained that the SCP apparently is refusing to bring in more people, as they said they were full, so they all demand to be let in there. He complains that he and his group, Woody, Buzz Lightyear and Shrek had to face, especially with the Staff they had fight against. But then out of the door was a scientist with glasses and short brown hair, a couple from the SCP task force, and an assistant with short hair and glasses. The scientist announced that they will allow them in once they form a line, and they check with an SCP Object known as SCP-7226, which is a machine that checks for any Subspace infection, as he states that the SCP will allow this as their last batch of survivors in there in order to prevent more Staff attacks.

Everyone formed a line, and Bowser and his Koopa Troop were the first to go. They were declared “cleared” or free from corruption. Bowser suddenly bragged about how he’s allowed, only for the task force to tell him to just move it along and enter. More came in would later come in,

Geno- clear

Mallow- clear

Red, Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard- clear

Marth- clear

Kirk Van Houten- clear

Han Solo- clear

Chewbacca- clear

Ice Climbers- clear

SpongeBob SquarePants- clear

Patrick Star- clear

Spider Man- clear

Batman- clear

Thomas the Tank Engine- clear

Mike Wazowski- clear

Woody- clear

Buzz Lightyear- clear

Shrek- Clear

Then there was starting to be rejects to be kicked out, and not allowed in, starting with Homer Simpson, the team was shocked, to realize that the Nuclear Technician was not with them, to realize that’s just a version of Homer who is known as “Jerkass Homer”. So of course Jerkass Homer was thrown into a portal that the SCP task force made with a portal ball.

More will follow after Jerkass Homer, as some were indeed infected, or they just simply didn't like them. Peter Griffin, Panty and Stocking, Eric Cartman and his friends will all follow the same fate as Jerkass Homer, as when it was their turn to get checked. While they were getting checked, and when they were denied, Peter Griffin tried to beat up the task force with his fists, but failed miserably and forced into a portal. Both Panty and Stocking tried to seduce the task force and Mr. Gears, but neither were having it, so they were also forced into the portal. Then Kyle and his 3 friends insulted the SCP for being too "restrictive", and used strong words. Dr. Gears did not care, stating that they faced enemies who used language just like that, and the four boys were forced into the portal along with the other rejects. After a few more survivors got checked, the fifteen came, as Mario told the SCP that they were a group just like the rest, so they got checked at once.

Mario Mario- clear

Link- clear

Arsene Lupin III- clear

Samus Aran- clear

Morrigan Aensland- clear

Simon Belmont- clear

Ike- clear

Pikachu- clear

Lucas- clear

Homer Simpson- clear

Deedlit- clear

Mega Man X- clear

Crono- clear

Sailor Venus- INFECTED!! CAUSE: MAKEOVER BY ATSUGESSHO

Terra Branford- INFECTED!! CAUSE: SECOND HAND SMOKE BY BARB-E

Once the Anomalous scanner detected that both Terra and Sailor Venus were once evil, the SCP thought they were really infected, and could spread the plague, so two portal balls were about to be thrown to return them to their home realities, until Lupin III stood up, followed by Homer then Lucas, then Ike. The SCP did not budge, until Lucas told everyone to fight until they scan again, as the SCP were not afraid, Ike states that they could very well stay in the Town's outskirts and attract more Staff, and this caused the task force to do the reexamination. The man with the glasses agreed with them, as he stood up to his boss, and the two argued, until the former won out of arguing for the usefulness of them. Both Sailor Venus and Terra were checked again, and the signs were different,

Sailor Venus- Recovered! CAUSE: Vital thrown by Garfield

Terra Branford- Recovered! CAUSE: Vital thrown by Lupin III

Seeing that both of the women were cured, they decided to let them into the building. Once in, everyone went right in there, as they saw the city within was vast, as it was the population size of 60,000 people and covered 6.51 square miles. The team were glad that they could at least have a normal life, but Ike knew that this may not actually be the end of their cruel adventure.