Book 2 Chapter 9: How I met your mother
“Please do. I would love to hear how you died and came begging to me to save you.”(Diuscrucis)
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Flashback
* On the planet Lumiries which is in another world -
* In a city surrounding a giant blossom tree -
* Four days before meeting Diuscrucis -
* Solomon’s -POV -
Looking up I gaze at the tree that protects this town. It's very existence puts up a barrier that keeps monsters at bay. It even produces nectar that is used as an ingredient to create a potion that can cure any sickness. The tree is over five hundred feet tall and about three hundred and fifty feet wide. The leaves are pink and are slowly falling off the tree. At the base of the tree is a root that makes a ten foot arch out of the ground. Normally the archway is empty so you could see part of the town through it, but today the archway is full of a blood red liquid that is swirling around it. Turning to my left I look at my best friend Rita. She is a light skinned girl with red, black, and gold battle robes, red goggles, dark greenish blue eyes, shoulder length brown hair, and a scroll whip that is holding her spell book around her waist. She’s even wearing the golden necklace that I gave her as a birthday present. She is looking at the archway curiously while I try to explain what I’m seeing to her.
“I’m telling you that the archway has red liquid flowing through it!”(Solomon)
‘Looks annoyed’ “And I’m telling you that the archway is completely empty! By the spirits Solomon! Take a break! You have been working nonstop since we got back from saving the world! That was three weeks ago!”(Rita)
“All the more reason to work hard! We don’t know when another monster like that will appear! We need to be prepared!”(Solomon)
“No it’s not. ‘Sigh’ Listen. I need to go and make sure Yuri doesn’t touch any- ‘Boom’ ‘Distant screaming’ ‘Deep inhale’ ‘Facepalming’ Damn it Yuri. You had one job man. I need to go. You do too Solomon. Head home and get some sleep. I’m sure this red liquid thing you have been talking about can be figured out then.”(Rita)
Saying that she turns around and start running towards the screams.
“Stay safe Solomon and maybe after you get some well deserved rest we can go out for dinner or something?!”(Rita)
After seeing her disappear behind a large root, I turn back towards the archway and walk towards it. I can’t understand why I’m the only one who can see it but I will find out what it is. For science! Sticking one finger into the portal I feel it stick to my finger lightly before pulling me into the liquid harshly. I barely had time to release a masculine shout as I was pulled in. The next thing I knew I was… “(Solomon)
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Flashback ends
* Diuscrucis’s -POV -
“Don’t you mean scream like a little girl? I mean you don’t want me lying but you want to make yourself out to be tougher than you are? Shame on you man.”(Diuscrucis)
“I don’t scream like a little girl!”(Solomon)
Hearing this I stand up and grab Mag’s arm. After a brief moment she glowed and compressed herself into a blood red scythe with glowing orange cracks that go along the four foot long blade. Smiling I swing it down at him at full force and stop right as I hit him so I only give him a scratch on his forehead and nothing else. This resulted in him falling from his chair while screaming like a girl.
‘Girly scream’ ‘Manly coughing’ “That wasn’t funny.”(Solomon)
“Just making a point. Four of a kind. My win.”(Diuscrucis)
Dropping my cards on the table, I let Mag change back and start shuffling the deck. After a moment Solomon got up and sat back down.
“Anyway. I found myself on a bloody floor in the middle of an empty room.”(Solomon)
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Flashback
* Solomon -POV -
The room was dark but I could make out a door in the far corner of the room. Getting up I go through the door and find myself in an empty hallway with multiple doors lining the walls to my left and a staircase to my right. Going down the wooden stairs I find myself in a busy bar filled with beings I have never seen before. Skeletons, transparent Krityans, humans who are different colors of the rainbow, humans with curled horns, and even one or two that seem to have a halo over their heads. Everyone is in a merry mood while being served by women in maid outfits.
“Where am I?”(Solomon)
Seeing a woman crying at the bar area, I move to sit next to her. Sitting on her left I order a glass of water before turning to get a better look at her. She looks to be a 6 feet tall, peach skinned woman with long black wavy hair that goes down to her waist, and c cup breasts. Her hands are covering her eyes and she is weeping none stop. Her red pants, t-shirt, sneakers, and socks all look to be a bit wet. I wonder if this beautiful woman had a bad break up? As I open up my mouth to speak to her she starts wailing.
‘All said through sobs’ “I don’t know what I did wrong? I did everything I was supposed to. Why didn’t it work? The spell can only be used once per a generation but nothing happened even though the spell succeed. Am I gonna have to be single fore another twenty years? Who would want to marry someone like me?”(???)
After that little rant, the woman working the bar gave her an apologetic look and a large cup of alcohol.
“I’m not sure what your talking about. I’m positive that any man would bend over backwards to make you happy.”(Solomon)
“How would you know tha…”(???)
Upon seeing me she stopped talking. She just stared at me with her beautiful clear green eyes until…
“Hey man. Leave the poor girl alone. She obviously doesn't want to talk to a blood covered fool like you.”(Mystery man 1)
“Ya baby. Come with us and we will help you get over your broken heart.”(Mystery man 2)
Looking down I realise that I am in fact covered in blood. How did I not notice this? Turning around I see two pale poorly dressed men with red eyes and extended canines. Vampires? I thought those things were myths. Downing her cup in seconds she turned towards them and sighs in annoyance.
“Don’t be like that sweetheart. Here. Let me get rid of this fool for you so we can get better acquainted.”(Mystery man 1) ‘Bam’ ‘Crack’
Saying that, the first man grabbed me and tossed me into a nearby wall with so much force that I could hear some of my bones crack. Through the pain I look up and see parts of the bar have devolved into a bar fight. The three most interesting things I saw before blacking out was a burly red skinned man throwing people out the window, a bunch of maids staring down a group of people who are prostrating themselves before them, and the girl I was talking to was running my way.
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* An unknown period of time later -
I later woke up in a white room with no windows, a bright white ceiling light, a comfortable cream bed, and a woman sleeping in a chair next to me. Looking at her more closely I realise she is the same person I was talking to before being thrown into a wall. Now she is wearing a white nurse outfit.
“Hello beautiful.”(Solomon)
Opening her eyes she smiles at me and leans over me a bit allowing me to get a good look at her cleavage.
“I’m so glad you are awake. I was worried they hurt you in a way that won’t be able to heal. My name is Falisha. What’s yours?”(Falisha)
“Solomon.”(Solomon)
“Your still hurt so I will take care of you ok? After which we can decide what to do.”(Falisha)
“Thank you. I greatly appreciate it.”(Lucky bastard)
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* After four days of bliss -
It took several days but now I am finally able to move freely. I still hurt a bit but I can manage. In the time I was forced to stay in bed, Falisha went above and beyond for me. She gave me food and water, she bathed me, and ‘cough’ cleaned my messes. She even gave me a slow handjob this morning because she saw I had an erection and insisted on lending me a hand. Her house was also attacked twice by criminals and she fought them off both times to protect me. Now that I am finally out of bed I head towards the door across the room. When I open it I am immediately greeted by Falisha in her nurse outfit with something behind her back.
“Hey Solomon darling…. ‘Starts heavily blushing’ I know we haven’t known each other long and this is crazy but….. Will you marry me? I mean since I helped you so much and I know if we are a family there will be no need to worry about paying back favors and all that….”(Falisha)
“Yes. I would love to marry you.”(Solomon)
‘Light crying’ “Thank you.”(Falisha)
Hearing my response she starts crying and brings out a small box from behind her. She opens it and I see two onyx rings. Putting one on both our fingers she smiles before lunging at me. Before I could say anything she kisses me deeply before forcing me out of my clothes and onto the bed. As I am forcefully stripped to my underwear I am massaging her breasts when she jumps off me in a panic and says.
“I’m so sorry! I need to finish one thing before we can continue. It will only take a few minutes. I promise…. Oh ya!. The only rule you have to follow is to not leave the house without my permission. With that being said, please do not leave the house without my permission honey. It’s dangerous out there and I don’t want you getting hurt like last time.”(Falisha)
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
Weird rule.
“I Promise.”(Solomon)
Hearing that she gives me a passionate kiss before running off down the hall. Walking outside the door I see a pair of red sneakers next to my door. After poking them with my foot a little, I was able to put them on without much problem. As I decide to walk around the house I start to hear something like a parade. Walking towards the noise through the house that looks suspiciously like a hospital ward, I reach a door in a kitchen area and everywhere I have walked has no windows. Still hearing the noise coming from outside, I open the door. In front of me is a small green patch of grass with some stepping stones in front of the door to the sidewalk that has hundreds of people marching across it while singing and dancing. The songs are about a new age of tranquility and peace because something something zombies. As I was watching the parade, a door behind me swings open and Falisha rushes in.
“I can’t believe I forgot something as basic as a sponge! Where is my b- Solomon!”(Falisha)
Turning around I am greeted by an enraged Falisha in some kind of priestess outfit that is covered in blood. Her clear green eyes have dulled into a clouded dark green, and she has two bloody knives in her hands. Looking behind her I can clearly see that the room down the hall is open and a man is tied up and bloody. Seeing this I turn around and run. I run as fast as I could. I weave my way through the crowd but as I get further and further away from the house I hear dozens of different voices screaming behind me. Taking a random turn several minutes later I hide in a corner and wait for her to pass me. I know she did because I could still hear her calling out for me while she got further away. Seeing what direction she went in I go the opposite way and make my way towards a dock that has several ships getting ready to depart. As I’m desperately trying to find a way out of this area I suddenly hear someone from a few boats away.
“Yo Death. Where’s our shit?”(???)
Not knowing why that woman was so angry I run in her direction only to see that the metal luxury ship she is on is about to set sail.
“How?! I was gone for less than thirty seconds!“... Forget I asked.”(???)
“Are you about to leave? Please Take me with you!”(Solomon)
The woman on the boat looked over the rail and stares at me for a second before her maroon eyes flash a bright gold and return to normal. After looking perplex for a second she answers me.
‘kicks a ladder over the edge of the boat’ “Climb aboard you damned pervert.”(???)
“Oh thank the spirits! I’m saved! Thank you for your kindness my lady!”(Solomon)
‘Eye twitches a little’ “Call me that again and I’ll use you as fish bait.”(???)
Climbing on board the ship I immediately make several deep bows while I offer my apologies. When I finish I notice that she it already sailing the ship away from land and the ladders are already put away. Looking around this white metal ship that is only half the size of the boats I’m used to. I see a black skeleton laying on a long chair with mirrors in its hands. The bony fingers have gold rings on them, it is wearing boxers, and the eye socket that I can see has this weird green thing coming out of it. Oh spirits….. Is this woman crazy too?!
‘Nervous laugh’ “Excuse me madame. Can you please tell me why you have a pimped out skeleton in swim trunk resting on a lounge chair?”(Solomon)
‘Menacing voice’ “I’m working on my tan. I have to look my best for the date I’m having in a few days.”(Not a corpse)
‘Hops a little in surprise’ “Holy! It talks?!”(Solomon)
“Oh shut the fuck up old man! Your bones are black! You can’t get a tan!”(Angry lady)
‘Sounds surprisingly happy go lucky’ “Oh really? 3,000 credits on me getting a tan by the time we get back.”(Death)
“Your on!”(???)
Seeing that the skeleton talking is a normal thing I grab a nearby chair and sit down next to the skeleton that goes by the name of Death. Turning to face the captain of the ship I actually get a better look at her. She is six feet seven inches tall with shoulder long green and pink hair that changes shades based on the lighting. her skin is a light shade of pink with her eyes being a gentle maroon. her breasts are DD cups with a red bra and cream shorts. I ask her a question.
“So what’s your name madame?”(Solomon)
“Her name is Dusi.”(Death)
“Stop fucking calling me that!”(Duci)
“Dusi a lovely name for a lovely woman.”(Solomon)
‘Voice takes a monstrous pitch’ “I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU!!!!”(Dusi)
Holy! She is a monster! I so hope I can make it off this boat alive.
“I wonder why she hates her own name so much.”(Solomon)
“Dusi is just embarrassed you are seeing her like this.”(Death)
“AAAaaAAAAaaAAAaaaaHHHHhhhh!!!!”(Dusi) ‘Boom’ ‘Splash’
Hearing death say her name, she screams and then there is a huge splash in the water in front of us. The splash is so big it rocks the boat and all three of us get drenched. As I am clearing my eyes to see what happened, I can see a large outline of a dick through the skeleton’s boxers and I can see Duci’s nipples fairly clearly. What surprised me most about this was the handle she was holding was missing one of it’s twelve extensions to turn the wheel. By the spirits she moved fast. She must have thrown that in less than a blink of an eye. I think I should talk to her with utmost respect.
“I may not be able to hurt you Death but know that I will make you pay for this.”(Duci)
“I will love to see you try.”(Death)
“It seems you two have some kind of frenemy relationship… Well pardon my rudeness. My name is Solomon. It is a pleasure to meet you miss Dusi and mr…..”(Solomon)
That was all I got to say before my face hit the water. I blacked out moments later.
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* Unknown amount of time later -
“Ahhhhhh! ‘Heavy breathing’ Holy crap! I’m alive! How?!”(Solomon)
Waking up in a dry pull of blood I look towards the only two people on the ship. They are both relaxing on different chairs while fishing.
“Damn you are one weak willed pansy.”(Duci)
“....”(Solomon)
“You’re in the Underworld dumbass. It’s hard to stay dead down here. ‘Plop’ Oh sweet I caught one!”(Duci)
Duci then pulls her rod and reveals that she caught something I thought could only exist in the imagination of a manchild that lives across the street from me. Also…. Underworld? I’ve never heard of such a place. How can it bring people back from the dead?
‘Look of shock’ “Wait. Did you just catch a shiny magikarp? (Solomon)
“The fuck is a magikarp!? I caught a Gold Fish.”(Duci)
“A red fish with white or gold fins, big googly eyes, large dumb looking lips, and the most pathetic attack in pocket monster’s history. The shiny version is super rare and solid gold.”(Solomon)
Tossing the fish into her shadow, where it sank into. Duci turns towards me and is about to ask something when she sees Death fishing like a champion. After a moment of silence she smiles a beautiful smile and turn around.
“If that’s how you want to play. Let’s play. ‘Pew’ Fuck!”(Duci)
Smiling she shoots her rod into the water and leans back as a flash of light momentarily blinds me and her rod breaks in half.
“What was that?”(Solomon)
“The big fish. Thousand credits on you getting killed by a stray shot.”(Death)
“Your on.”(Duci)
Saying that, they both continue fishing while flashes of light start to happen more rapidly. Squinting my eyes a bit allowed me to see the two of them swirling their rods around making interesting figures with the string while break dancing in time with the flashing lights. After several minutes of this I ask them again.
“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?”(Solomon)
“We’re fishing! What the fuck does it look like we’re doing?!”(Duci)
“Majestically swirling your hooks in the air while break dancing.”(Solomon)
“It’s more fun that way.”(Death)
“So what’s your story. It’s rare to see perverts begging to get on a departing ship in nothing but their underwear.”(Duci)
‘Shy laugh’ “I was running away from my wife.”(Solomon)
“Why?”(Duci)
“Because she is flipping crazy! I don’t know what happened to her. She was so kind and caring when we first met.”(Solomon)
“How long have you known her?”(Duci)
“Four days.”(Solomon)
“....”(Death & Duci)
They both stayed quiet for several minutes after hearing this and after saying it out loud I can understand why. I mean what was I thinking?
“What made you think you knew her well enough to get married.”(Duci)
“She saved my life and took care of me the entire time I knew her. All she asked in return was for me to be her husband so I agreed.”(Solomon)
“...’Sigh’ What caused her to change?”(Duci)
“I tried to leave her house without her permission.”(Solomon)
‘Hysterical laughter’ “Oh!……. She’s going to rip you apart.”(Duci)
“Please! I will do anything you ask! Just help me! I can’t……..”(Solomon)
“Save your breath kid. We got company and knowing Dusi’s luck, It’s going to be your wife.”(Death)
“Gods Damn It Death!!”(Duci)
Oh please no. Moments later the ship was pulled into blood red water. After several seconds,, we were hurled back to the surface and the water color turns back to normal. Looking around I see that we are inside of some kind of ship storage unit but the other three ships in here are on fire and sinking into the water. The room is mud brown, with two entrances, an overhead platform and several platforms for workers and fisherman to handle the boats. The room is easily large enough to fit a few dozen ships but the room is mostly empty. Looking at the single overhead platform that is about fifty feet above our heads, I see someone I was hoping not to see. Falisha took a swan dive towards us before doing three flips and landing gracefully on the deck of the ship. Without a sound she stood up and threw a bottle of liquid at Duci’s face. The only difference between when I left and now is now her clothes are clean. Slamming her hands into the ground caused the area around us to change. The first change is a large cylinder made of apple sized white balls is surrounding us. It goes from the bottom of the water to the roof of the building. Each ball has a large H, L, or M on it. She also has a pink pentagram surrounding her.
‘Shatter’ ‘Splash’ ‘Voom’ ‘Ting’ ‘In a flat monotone voice’ “The fuck.”(Duci)
“Why would you leave me darling? I love you. Is it because of this slut!?! How dare you try to seduce my husband you whore! When I’m done with her let’s go back home ok? ‘High pitched ding’ Your turn bitch.”(Falisha)
Throwing a bead at one of the balls, it make a high pitch sound and turns red while a white orb flies around her.
“Death. What’s going on?”(Duci)
“It looks like this woman is a summoner and she just challenged you to a game of Blood Sign.”(Death)
“How do you play?”(Duci)
“Just think of it as one extremely complicated game of rock paper scissors.”(Death)
“How do I win.”(Duci)
“Like this.”(Death)
Saying that Death stretch out his arm and a decagon with a large skull in the middle appeared on the floor. He then tossed a credit at a L ball and caused a low pitch sound. He then waited while a white ball started to fly around him.
“Stand aside skeleton. My fight is with that woman with two souls. Not you.”(Falisha) ‘High pitch ding’
Tossing another bead, she causes another high pitch sound and the two lights around her seem to be vibrating.
“No. I win.”(Death) ‘Bang’ ‘Splat’
All I saw was the horrible scene of Falisha’s head exploding before I fainted.
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* An unknown amount of time later -
When I came to I was face to face with Falisha. She is completely naked her breasts are shaking softly while her nipples look to be hard. I can’t help but feel myself start getting a boner. She is sitting on my stomach while sliding her hands across my chest. Looking around I noticed that I am restrained to a metal table, naked, while also being in an unknown room. Grabbing my head with both hands she forced me into a passionate kiss before smiling down at me.
“You shouldn’t have run away my darling husband. Now I need to discipline you.”(Falisha)
Saying that, she smiles and slides down until her face was over my balls.
‘Sniff’ “It smells so good…”(Falisha)
Saying that she slowly started licking my dick until it grew it’s full eight inches. Laughing a little at the sight, I saw her slowly take it into her mouth. While I was barely able to see her eyes I could tell they changed from that dull green back into the brighter transparent crystal green before glazing over. Then she started picking up speed. Slowly at first but soon she was rapidly deep throating me with loud moans coming from both of us. After nearly a minute I cummed down her throat and she released my dick from her warm mouth. After showing me some of her cum filled mouth she swallows it and goes back down to clean up everything that leaked out.
“Such a quick shot. I’m a little disappointed. The taste is also not what I expected… ‘Giggle’ I’m sure I’ll get used to it. Now then.”(Falisha)
With heavy panting she moves her clean shaved pussy over my still erect dick and slowly slides down. With a small yelp of pain she stays still for a moment when suddenly the door is kicked open and a man standing close to seven feet tall with black and white hair walks in. He has tan skin, a black scaled left arm that looks like it belongs to a lizard, a shirt, pink sneakers, an orange-red fedora, and cream shorts. The only real striking things about this man were his eyes. Looking down at me were bright gold eyes with a velvet slit going down the middle. It was terrifying. His gaze felt like it was piercing into my soul. Like a great beast measuring the worth of its prey. His very gaze caused me to feel like I was being crushed. After looking at me for what felt like hours, Falisha finally said something.
“The one with two souls… I did not expect to see you again. So this must be the other soul who shares your body…. I don’t know why your here but I am in the middle of something so…”(Falisha)
Upon hearing her voice the man shifted his gaze from me to Falisha. The moment his eyes left me I felt a huge weight lifted off my chest. I then looked at Falisha and saw her go from shock to curiosity to fear all in the course of a few seconds. Her entire body is slightly trembling on top of me.
“I’m sorry to interrupt the love making but I need your husband. Don’t worry it is for a completely non sexual activity. Now get off him before I have to yank you off.”(Weird man)
After a moment Falisha slowly gets off me and takes several steps back.
“Thank you for your cooperation Falisha.”(???)
How does he know her name?
“How?”(Falisha)
‘Light laughter’ “Your husband speaks quite highly of you friend. You should feel proud to have a husband like him.”(???)
Looking at them in confusion I notice the man looking at me from the corner of his eye and it changes to a maroon color for a second or two before changing back and he focused on Falisha. That maroon eye though. It looked so familiar and condescending. Like the eyes of someone I met not that long ago. By the spirits!
‘Whisper’ “Duci?”(Solomon)