Book 2 Chapter 5: Stuck up non-heroes
“Welcome back from your two day break Star. Want some pancakes?'(Armageddon)
“..... I would love some.”(Star)
“Follow me.”(Mag)
Following after the snake in front of me, we reached a dining room with a large round table and both Samantha and Diuscrucis were eating strawberry pancakes next to each other. Taking a seat across from them I receive my pancakes and start eating. When I looked up across the table, I see Diuscrucis has a bloody nose and is wiping the blood away with a napkin.
“Hey Star. How have you been since you magiced your way out of here and back again?”(Diuscrucis)
“Good. I helped kill an empress.”(Star)
“... Oh! I remember that. Ha! Let Diuscrucis tell you about his half of the story! It was hilarious!”(Samantha)
“You only found it funny cause you weren’t the one who had to deal with it.”(Diuscrucis)
“And I’m glad about that. Don’t worry dear. I will always love you.”(Samantha)
“Says the woman who laughed thought about it and then fell to the floor laughing at my weak will and misfortune.”(Diuscrucis)
“What happened?”(Star)
“He- He”(Samantha) ‘Hysterical laughter’
‘Rubbing his eyes with his hand’ “Let’s start at the summoning of the second group of heroes…”(Diuscrucis)
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* Several thousand years earlier -
* Outside the red barn where the first heros were summoned -
{Ready for the next group of heroes Lulu?}(Diuscrucis)
{Absolutely Dad!}(Lulu)
Walking into a completely empty room of the red church, I put down a small box of cookies in the middle of the room. After closing my eyes for a few seconds, the box was gone and I could hear chewing coming from behind the wall to my right.
“I hope you enjoy the cookies! Now then. Summon Heroes!”(Diuscrucis)
With a flash of light, I am greeted with four armed women who are glaring at me like I’m the scum of the realm. All four women are amizonions. They are standing at 7 ft tall with D-cup breasts, long straight hair, look extremely jacked, have dark green eyes, and a small mole under their left ear. They all also have silver chest plates that cover their shoulders, breasts, and upper stomach. Their battle skirts match their knee high boots and metal gloves. The only major differences between theses women are their weapons and hair color. The woman closest to me has white hair and is wielding a longsword with a blue handle and a small yellow gem in the center of it.
Status
Name: Alkaia (Name unavailable)
Age: 29
Profession: Supreme General of the Great (clan Destroyed) Army
Level: 978
Standing next to her is a woman with blue hair and brass knuckles embedded into her gauntlets that look to have many tiny barbs in them to tear away flesh with each punch.
Status
Name: Bremusa (Name unavailable)
Age: 26
Profession: Berserker
Level: 982
Right behind both women is a blond woman with a spear that has a pink gem embedded into the handle. The spear is two feet taller than her and the blade on top looks like two overly sharp crescent moons are back to back with one side of them lining up to make a long sharp point. That thing looks like it doubles as a wand.
Status
Name: Doris The Bountiful
Age: 27
Profession: Archmage
Level: 943
The one standing furthest in the back of the group and is the most likely to attack me first is a black haired girl with a longbow. The bow is dark brown with a blue transparent string and a large flaming arrow that is obviously made of magic.
Status
Name: Lykopis Von Wolf
Age: 24
Profession: Magic Archer
Level: 947
{... If these four work together they can and would totally kick my ass.}(Diuscrucis)
{But I would be fighting them with you?}(Lulu)
{Your right…. They would totally kick our asses. Why the hell does Monday need me to train these four? Also….. Why don’t they have the hero profession?}(Diuscrucis)
{We should probably ask.}(Lulu)
“Good morning ladies and welcome to the Underworld. I am Diuscrucis and I’m going to be teaching you…”(Diuscrucis)
‘Rudely interrupting’ “Shut up slave! Who is the woman that gave you permission to speak to us!”(Alkaia)
“... My boss kindly asked me to train you four as…”(Diuscrucis)
‘Rudely interrupting again’ “We don’t need the shitty training of a lowly man, let alone you! Ya that’s right Diuscrucis! We know who you are! Go fuck off in a corner until we call on you dog! We have already been trained into mighty warriors by a Valkyrie by the name of Samantha! We don’t need help from the person who always caused her to day dream and act like a total schoolgirl seeing her first love whenever something about you is brought up! Now go back to your Mistress and beg her for forgiveness because of how incompetent you are! I mean really?! Why would a slave like you…...”(Alkaia)
Wait…. A valkyrie by the name of Samantha? If it’s the one I know then I never knew she loved me that much. I mean I knew she loved me I just didn’t think it was to that extent.
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* Several thousand years later -
* In the game room of the Demon Lord’s Castle -
Inside my game room that is fully furnished for any game competition, I sit on a large orange couch and glance over at Samantha who dropped her game controller and was seething in rage. Seeing this everyone else got off the couch and wooden floor and backed away from her as they continued to shoot each other in “Call of Zombie, The last Fright”. Pausing the game so I can look at her without getting shot at, I smile right before getting bitch slapped across the room and into some brand new flat screen tvs. As I fly across the room I see Death laughing at my misfortune and Pi looking at me with jealousy. Relocating my shattered jaw I stand back up and slowly walk towards the couch.
‘Heartbreaking shout’ “You fucking knew I loved you that long before I told you?! Why in Heaven’s name did you not bring it up earlier?!When did you figure it out!?”(Samantha)
“You started bringing me home made box lunches every day starting the freshman year of highschool and sometimes when I was walking home with you, you zone out while holding my arm between your breasts and drooling all over my upper arm with a look of bliss on your face. It wasn’t hard to figure out. As for why I never responded to your obvious feelings is Suzi. She killed all the maids in our mansion because one of them flirted with me. I completely ignored your feelings because I didn’t want her to kill her best friend. Now here is a more important question…… Why the fuck did you train those four?!!”(Diuscrucis)
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“I was on a mission in another dimension and while I was there I met four sisters that were practically begging me to train them after they saw me protect there clan and brutally humiliate their clan head for hitting on me. Seeing them want to train so much it kinda reminded me of myself asking you to spar with me so I asked Loki if I could stay there for a while and he said yes. He gave me two months to train the kids so I trained them to the best of my ability while fighting in a few dozen wars in their dimension. What I didn’t know at the time was that two months for me were actually twelve years for them and I got to see them grow up into such capable women. ‘Sheds a tear’ When I left them I felt so proud of them. It’s sad that they only lived for a little under a month our time after I left them.”(Samantha)
“Samantha……. ‘Deep breath’ I’m going to continue the story but I would like to hear a more detailed description about WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO DURING THE FIRST GRW.”(Diuscrucis)
‘Happy grin’ “Please continue.”(Samantha)
Picking up my controller I unpause the game and continue the story.
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* Several thousand years later -
After ignoring Alkaia for a good five minutes I say what has been on my mind since she started cutting me off.
‘Exasperated sigh’ “At least now I know why none of you have the hero profession.”(Diuscrucis)
The moment I finished saying that, Lykopis fired her arrow at me while yelling.
“How fucking dare a slave like you speak about your superiors like that and to their faces as well! If your mistress wont discipline you then we will!”(Lykopis)
Seeing the arrow come at me I jump back seeing the arrow approach my balls and I barely managed to avoid the fatal wound. Looking back up I see the other three women draw their weapons and all four of them are ready to fight while looking at me with eyes that clearly indicate that I have performed some unforgivable taboo and I must be executed on the spot.
“Calm down! I don’t want to fight you! Let’s just talk about this.”(Diuscrucis)
Hearing me say this the four women start to lower their weapons with a smirk but then yell at me with pure rage.
“You fucking pervert!”(Angry women)
Hearing this I dive out of the way to avoid a spear, sword, and another arrow. Getting up I turn to them and yell but the voice that came out of my mouth sounded far more feminine.
‘Unmistakable angry woman voice’ “Fuck off you four bitch cunts! You have no reason to hate me! Go fuck off and don’t come crying to me when you pussy asses get the fucked kicked out of you because you don’t know jack shit about being a heroine! Now get the fuck out of my sight.”(Diuscrucis)
{Why the hell did your voice change?}(Lulu)
{I don’t fucking know! Just roll with it!}(Diuscrucis)
After staring at them for a few seconds the four of them looked away from me and marched out the now open door. As they were walking away I start to taste my own blood and finally realize why they called me a pervert.
“Why couldn't they show up just a few minutes later?”(Diuscrucis)
Walking towards the spot where I felt a surge of magic but mistakenly thought it was a spot someone teleported to, I soon see a 6 and a half foot tall, red haired, pink eyed elf. After a second I recognize her as the girl I was about to fight during the Heaven and Hell competition. So this chick is a time mage huh? After watching the four annoying women walk off she then looks at me with a blank stare before tensing up a little.
‘In a cold and murderous voice’ “What’s a time mage doing here?”(Diuscrucis)
“Hi Diuscrucis, I did not mean to come here.”(Star)
Didn’t mean to… Gods damn it! Another one.
“I see. You know my name but didn’t mean to come here. I also saw you at the Heaven and Hell competition. This means your not from the past and you don’t know what you’re doing.”(Diuscrucis)
I might as well kill her now and save myself future troubles. I wonder if I can toss her into the reincarnation gate before she completely resurrects. Lifting my hand I move it forward quickly to impale her face but stop millimeters from her eyes when Lulu yells at me to stop.
{Why the hell are you telling me to stop Lulu?}(Diuscrucis)
{Look at her and then think about Suzi.}(Lulu)
{Ok?}(Diuscrucis)
{Her general presence of feeling like she’s in the right, her near perfect posture of being relaxed but ready to fight at a moments notice, the fact that she is visibly shaking upon seeing your claws so close to her face but still keeps eye contact with you and has an indifferent face while doing it. It's just like Suzi.}(Lulu)
{Anyone could pull that off.}(Diuscrucis)
{Not even you, Samantha, or your mom can manage all those at the same time. This means that Star is either her daughter or someone who has been trained by Suzi for decades. Also her class is Time Jumper so I‘m willing to bet on the former.}(Lulu)
{....True. Let’s ask.}(Diuscrucis)
“You’re Suzi’s kid aren’t you?”(Diuscrucis)
“I am.”(Star)
{She doesn’t seem to be lying Dad.}(Lulu)
“How many times have you time traveled?”(Diuscrucis)
“Twice sir.”(Star)
Gods damn it! She’s a rookie! I need to keep an eye on this brat until she figures out how to head back to her own time.
“So when we met the first time and now… ‘Clap’ Alright then. Unless you know how to head back now, then you will stick with me because I can’t have you running around all willy nilly and I don’t know? Cause the extinction of the Humans because you fixed an elf’s financial situation or something?”(Diuscrucis)
“I don’t think that’s how that works and why do you know all this stuff anyways?”(Star)
‘Glare’ “You’re not the first time mage I’ve met Star. This is the first time I’ve seen it called “Time Jumper” though….. You know looking at you….. You seem a lot stronger compared to when we first met.”(Diuscrucis)
“I am. I mean I am one of the people who helped put you down during your rampage.”(Star)
“You helped huh. You wouldn’t happen to know who triggered that chain of events right?”(Diuscrucis)
“Well the entire thing was part of Su…… ‘Whisper’ Fuck.”(Star)
{Su fuck?....... Suzi. That traitorous, backstabbing, power hungry, Bitch! She planned that bombing incident and since she was fighting me then…..}(Diuscrucis)
‘Gasp’ {The only person Suzi would trust with something like keeping your mom in a rigged seating area would be Samantha!}(Lulu)
{I-I-I won't kill them……. But I will beat them to within an inch of their lives when I find them!}(Diuscrucis)
‘Absolute cold rage’ “Thanks Star. Now I need you to please stay here while I deal with some family matters.”(Diuscrucis)
After saying that I teleport to the family Manor and appeared in the war room. The room I’m in is large with a red carpeted floor, beige walls, and a blue domed roof. The center of the room has a large round table that extends 4 meters in any direction from the center. It is a magical map that can scan and display various parts of a realm. On the black throne at the head of the table sits Suzi and she looking at me with a loving smile on her face. She seems to be in good health which means I can give her an even bigger beating. Sitting across from her is that guy who sold me my mom’s gift. His clothes look fancier than the last time I saw him but right now he was trying to sneak out the room but was being blocked by some macho man. The man next to the merchant has short, dirty blond hair and a short boxed beard. He has sky blue eyes and no left nipple. He is wearing heavily armored pants and boots but no shirt. The last two people in the room is a tall faceless white skinned man in a business suit and Samantha. Besides Suzi and Samantha, everyone was looking at me with fear in their eyes. Well except for the faceless man. He just sorta sat there like a manican and…. Stared at me?
‘In a calm and loving voice’ “Samantha. Suzi. I was made aware that the whole killing mother event was from the two of you.”(Diuscrucis)
Saying that I start walking towards them. As I approach, The tall man and the macho dude stand in my way while Suzi and Samantha draw their weapons and back away from me slowly. As the macho man reaches towards me, the elf guy sprints out the door.
“Stop there kid. You should learn your….AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (Macho man) ‘Crash’
Grabbing his outstretched hand, I hurl him into the table and shatter it into pieces. When he was down I twisted his arm off and jump back as a thick black tentacle flew at me.
“Listen man. Cool trick but I don’t like to be on the receiving end of that trick. I much prefer using tentacles on others. Stand aside tall man. My quarrel is not with you.”(Diuscrucis)
‘Very middle aged gentlemanly sounding voice’ “Hehe. I’m afraid I can’t let you do that child. I am under obligation to help protect her. So leave or die.”(Tall guy)
“Have it your way.”(Diuscrucis) ‘Splat’
Running at him again I roll forward when he sends four tendrils at me. One on each side and one for when I jump forward. Getting in close I jumped to hit his face with a severed arm but he just turned his head and opened his blank face to reveal a large jagged jew made from his face and a long as hell tongue. He snapped the severed arm causing it to explode. Seeing his head so vulnerable I continue the motion of my swing and use it to elbow him in the nonexistent face. This pushed him back a few feet where his mouth disappeared and he sent five more tentacles at me with impressive speeds. Seeing this I create a box of shields and push the tentacle together as I side step the attack. As they started to rapidly retract from the wall behind me I grab my new bundle of sticky black mass and start hurling him around the room until he hit a yellow hooded figure that ran into the room and into a wall. While they were down I summoned multiple swords that cut off the outstretched tentacles. With a fairly manly yell he teleports away with the yellow hooded figure as black blood shot out of his severed limbs. Dropping the limbs I barely managed to drop to the floor and avoid most of the damage from a beam of light that came from Samantha. With part of my face now burned I hurl all my summoned weapons at her and manage to launch her into the hallway with a sword impaling her leg. Suzi seeing this lunges at me with her shadow blades. Summoning a warhammer I swing it upwards at full force and shatter her blades. The hammer hit her and shattered most of her ribs as she flew down the hall and smashed through the roof of the hallway before making another hole on her way back down because the hammer left my hand when I hit her. Looking down at my arms I see the one that was closest to the head of the hammer was broken and was hanging limply by my side. As Suzi was down and coughing up large amounts of blood, I charge samantha with a sword in hand. Seeing me coming, she changes her black weapon into gauntlets and punched my sword to the side only to be kicked in the gut and forced back on her feet. Standing up Samantha continues to try to stop my stabs and kicks but is getting more and more beaten as time goes by. After a fairly hard fought “fair” fight. Samantha collapses in a pool of her own blood but not before catching my leg from one of my kicks to her head and snapped it off.
“That’s… for going…. Easy on…. me.”(Samantha)
With those words she faints and I turn around as I felt a surge of magic. Seeing a knife come flying at me I take a step to the side to avoid it and see two people down the hall. One is a white hooded man with a smile carved into his face. He was running at me with his knife. The other is that tall man from before. As I start to move I stiffen up as I feel myself slow down drastically. Suddenly I see a someone appear in front of me with a bright emerald colored eye and an old fashioned clock for the other. Before I could do anything else this person gouged out my eyes. Yelling in pain I quickly bring legs forward and kick the person away. This earned me a feminine scream from the individual and the ability to move freely again.
“What is it with all these time mages recently! Fuck this shit I’m out!”(Diuscrucis)
Teleporting back to Star I smile at my good work in Hell and start hopping towards home.
“Alright, let’s go.”(Diuscrucis)
“Aren't you going to fix that?”(Star)
“Give me a minute.”(Diuscrucis)
Let’s see if I can freak her out a bit. I then quickly use magic to force my body back to better condition in a fairly gruesome manner. My arm twisted into a weird angle before snapping back into place, my eyes grew back like someone flushed something down the drain, my leg just grew back in a pillar of bubbling blood, and my face regenerated in a way that looks like someone was having their face melted off backwards. Looking towards her all I see is cruel indifference.
“You don’t seem too bothered by the way I regenerated.”(Diuscrucis)
‘Shrug’ “I’ve seen worse.”(Star)
‘Whisper’ “That takes the fun out of it.”(Diuscrucis)
With that I start walking home.
“Let’s go Star. I need new clothes and and a cold shower.”(Diuscrucis)