Book 2 Chapter 2: The grandmother I never knew

‘Slight pout’ “Come on. Is that really how you greet someone you started a war over?”(Former Devil)

Standing before us is a six and a half foot tall woman with pitch black hair and scarlet eyes. She has two white goat horns that are burning with a dark green flame and pale skin that looks slightly burnt around her hands as well as her eyes. Surprisingly even though they never talked about it, She has a decent sized pair of breasts. Not overly big but not too small either. She is wearing a blue button down lab coat with jeans and hot pink boots. Wait….. Does Diuscrucis get his like of pink shoes from his mother? I don’t feel like that is a good question to ask.

“I did not start a war over you.”(Diuscrucis)

‘Innocent looking smile’ “So you slaughtering hundreds of thousands immediately after my death wasn’t you starting a war?”(Former Devil)

‘sigh’ ”.. . . . Ok you win.”(Diuscrucis)

After hearing her response to his statement, Diuscrucis opened and closed his mouth several times before reluctantly acknowledging what he did. When he does, she smiles while showing some of her pointed teeth and looks at me with an amused look.

“So are you going to introduce me to your girlfriend or are you just going to let her continue narrating us as if we are in a book in her mind?”(Former Devil)

“Excuse me Katana? I’m his niece and how…..”(Star)

‘Side glance over with an obvious WTF face’ “Diucrucis my darling son. I love you greatly and I’m not one to overly question sexual preferences and fetishes but, that’s fucked up.”(Woman who obviously did not take what I said in a literal sense)

‘panicked shout’ “She’s a time traveler mom!”(Diuscrucis)

“That makes it worse and you! ‘points at me accusingly’ don’t giving me weird titles and use my name. It’s Katana Arquipelago.”(Katana)

How is she?

“Mom! You're breaking the third wall again! What did the Sandman say about doing that!?”(Diuscrucis)

‘Pouting’ “But reading through the scripts is so much fun an…”(Katana)

‘Rudely interrupting’ “What did he say!?”(Diuscrucis)

“Don’t break the third wall because it can cause ripple effects and change fate and bla bla bla.”(Katana)

“No! Not bla bla bla! If you read the “Scripts” you can severely mess up space-time and….. What did you do?”(Diuscrucis)

‘straight face’ “Absolutely nothing.”(Katana)

“Bullshit! Start talking.”(Diuscrucis)

‘sigh’ “Fine. Back during the competitions in bo ‘Bam’ ‘ssssss’ a while back, I knew I was going to be killed but it looks like I underestimated Samantha’s intelligence and got myself killed anyway. Good job not killing her I know you really wanted too.”(Katana)

Shortly after she started talking about a book, Diuscrucis smacked the back of her head so hard that it sounded like he punched a wall. Without even acknowledging that the back of her head is lightly bleeding and is releasing steam, she took a breath and started talking again like nothing happened. We then started following her through the door she came from. As we walked through the empty white hallways that radiated a soft light from their blank walls, she grabbed his arm and leaned against him in a happy couple walking position.

“... Stop hugging me while we walk.”(Diuscrucis)

Saying that he uses his hand to push her head away from him.

‘While being pushed away’ “Then when I got here I was recruited by the Angels to help them learn how to separate the good and evil from a soul and how to safely dispose of the bad half.”(Katana)

“Holy shit! Are you actually helping them?”(Diuscrucis)

“What? Hell no! I’m not insane.”(Katana)

“That is a statement up for debate.”(Diuscrucis)

“No it’s not! Anyways, I looked into future  scripts and they said that I wasn’t supposed to see you until the end of book two and I was supposed to die permanently right after. So instead I called you here before you fought the heroes and… Do you know what I had to do in order to get this meeting. I had to bribe a lot of people and a writer to let me stay here and let me tell you. It wasn’t easy.”(Crazy lady)

Writer?

“Mom! Stop changing destiny! The last time you did stuff like this I……”(diuscrucis)

Grabbing Diuscrucis’s head with both hands, Katana starts interrupting him with a soft motherly voice.

‘Shh’ ‘Shh’ ‘Shh’ “Now my dearest son. It’s ok.”(crazy lady)

“No It’s not!”(Diuscrucis)

‘Gentle smile’ “Star use my name damn it and it is ok because since I knew this fight was going to happen I zoned out when you said mom you are breaking the third wall again.”(Katana)

Just….. Who is this woman?

“........... I can’t believe I still find myself impressed by your improv skills. Now stop using Dragon’s Eye.”(Diuscrucis)

‘Giggles’ “Oh little Duci. What I just did isn’t impressive in the slightest. You should have seen me on my wedding day. I completely forgot about it and had nothing ready for the big day…… There Happy?”(Katana)

Duci? It’s going to be hard not to laugh at that. Blinking a few times Katana smiles as she gives an explanation…... HOW DO YOU FORGET YOUR OWN WEDDING DAY? THAT’S ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT DAYS FOR ANY WOMAN! GODS I WANT TO SMACK HER!

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‘sigh’ “I missed you mom.”(Diuscrucis)

Saying that Diuscrucis lifted his mother up and gave her a hug while letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

“I missed you too Diuscrucis.”(Katana) ‘Crack’ ‘Crack’ ‘Crack’

Hugging him back hard enough for me to hear several bones crack, she responds to him happily and then gives me a murderous glare……. Wait…. What the fuck?

‘Placing Katana on the ground’ Ok. Now that we all know each other, show me what you really wanted me to help you with.”(Diuscrucis)

“Was it that obvious?”(Katana)

No it wasn’t. I mean I thought you just wanted to see your son sooner and you know. Not while dying.

“Yes it was.”(Diuscrucis)

No. It really wasn’t.

“Come on, this way. We are not that far from the workstation and that look of rage earlier does not suit you Star.”(Katana)

After three more quick turns in the hallways, Katana stopped and poked the wall. After a few second, a door revealed itself and opened into a large room. The room looked fairly grey with white streaks of light in seemingly random places throughout the room. In the center of the room is a large table with broken parts and tools placed on it. The rest of the room looks like a science fair in how everyone is dealing with each other and working together in this mechanic/laboratory room. One of the first models of the hoverboard is close to the door. It is green, silver, and looks like it has a pitch fork coming from the front. I’m glad they got rid of that feature when the first ones came out for the public. Someone could accidentally kill their own family with that thing. In another part of the room, several Demons seemed to be slowly adding metal to the insides of some man’s bones while they are cutting him open as he rapidly regenerated. I must say, it looks painful. The last major looking thing in this room is an orange lantern looking thing that is being held in place by two statues of a man and a woman that look to be fighting over it. It is producing a pale orange light and the demons around it seem to be arguing about how to destroy the dangerous thing. It doesn’t seem dangerous. I feel like I should just take the lantern from them and….

“STAR! Snap out of it!”(Katana)

“Yes!”(Star)

Looking away from the orange light I turn my head to look at Katana. As I do I see Diuscrucis working at the table with broken parts and Katana looking at me with smug smile and a vexed look in her eyes.

“You weak willed skank…… Ok. Stop narrating and listen here Star. I don’t like you. I really don’t like you. In some scripts you appear sporadically and in many others you don’t show up at all. Hell! In this script you appear as a huge white smudge that erases everything around you! The future does not have you in it in any way. The past which was the future a few minutes ago changed. You suddenly showed up and it changed everything that was supposed to happen. So this is how it’s going to go down. I’m going to give you I don’t know….. ‘Shrugs her shoulders’ four sentences? If I don’t like what I hear then I’m ripping your spine out through your mouth and fixing this potential problem before it gets any worse.”(Katana)

Holy shit! This woman is insane! She is like a crazy mix between Diuscrucis and Suzi! She even said that last part with a smile! What do I say?!....... Truth! I’m telling her the truth! Gods I hope this works…

"I’m Suzi’s daughter! Diuscrucis is my uncle! You’re my grandmother! I recently got a time traveler profession that randomly makes me time jump to places I have never been when I touch certain items and I came here on accident!”(Star)

Hearing what I said, Katana looked at me for a few seconds before asking a question.

“Who the fuck would want to marry my daughter? She’s a psychopath?”(Katana)

“No one. I’m adopted.”(Star)

Hearing that Katana grabbed my shirt and pulled me into a hug.

“I have grandchildren! Adopted or not this is great! How am I in the future. Do you visit me on occasion?!”(Bipolar madwoman)

“No. No one even mentions you outside of you were a great mother figure and acquaintance.”(Star)

“Then you going back in time might cause a time paradox! You gotta tell me about it when we meet later. Now stop giving me weird titles right now or I will break your spine.”(Katana)

As she released me from her hug I see an orange cloaked figure with a large bird skull for a head standing at the end of the hall. watchinging me look past her as I stared at the bird thing, Katana started turning around and froze the moment she saw it.

‘Whisper’ “Megen… Get inside the lab room now Star. we will talk more inside.”(Katana)

As she whispered those words, the bird shadow thing dashed at us. As it moved its entire body started to bend and flicker like it was static on a broken tv channel. The light in front of it started to flicker on and off while all light behind it was just gone. While it dashed at us it completely left the ground and flew at us at a fairly high speed. Hearing Katana’s warning I jump inside the room with Katana not far behind me. Within moments the door started to slam shut but was stopped by a black metallic hand with orange lines running across it. The hand was slowly forcing the door open. As it slowly pried the door open I could see dead looking orange eyes in the skull of the creature standing behind the door. Katana made a cross out of fire in front of herself and while pointing at the cross with her right hand, she said.

‘Small shout’ “The power of Christ repels you!”(Katana) ‘Bam’

Saying that, the creature turned into orange smoke and disappeared while the door slammed shut. Katana then ripped off her right arm and immediately drank a red potion that she pulled out from an unknown location. Her torn off arm however burst into green flames and turned to dust.

“Demon’s aren't supposed to use the powers of Angels for a reason damn it! We’re running out of time!”(Katana)

“That thing is what kills you in the future isn’t it?”(Star)

‘Nod’ “...But I refuse to let that happen. Let’s try this again. Hello. I am Katana Arquipelago. Ex-time mage and former ruler of Hell. Any questions?”(Katana)

“Yes, several actually. What the hell did you drink? Your arm is already back. Why are you still inventing things while in the Underworld? What do you mean by ex-time mage? Why does Diuscrucis get nosebleeds whenever time magic is used? Why are you here if not to help the Angels? What was that thing? What do you mean by scripts? How do you train Dragon’s Eye to read them?”(Star)

Covering my mouth with her hand, Katana looked at me like I was a monster.

“Stop! Gods you ask a lot of questions….. I drank a new experimental health potion that regenerate limbs. I’m still inventing things because thanks to the creation of phones we can do the more dangerous experiments without destroying the world and tell other realms about it. I stopped time travelling a while ago and no longer use the profession in any way do to personal reasons. I still have some skills that I gained from it. He gets nosebleeds because I used to take him and Suzi on vacations across time and he would bash his face against a wall every time he wanted to go home or stop me from influencing past events. This happened so often that his nose would just start bleeding the moment he felt the use of time magic. I’m here to make sure the Angels don’t destroy the universe or something. That thing is Megen. She used to be the family nanny until Suzi had her first incident. Then she became his guardian for a few months before before I created my own incident and she died as a result. She looks like that because of that orange thing over there and has been trying to kill everyone in the building over the last week. Dragon’s Eye is a diverse skill that’s use and functionality depends on the person using it. I started using mine after I got the time traveler profession. Scripts are the different timelines I see as papers floating in the air while using Dragon’s Eye. If I focus on a piece of paper I can read all the events that happen in that timeline. Yes he does get his love of pink shoes from me. I also won't apologize for calling you a skank because in many scripts you are willing to fuck you captor if it means you won't be killed so…… Skank.”(Katana)

Ok. Now it’s my turn to introduce myself.

“My name is Star Mcbeth. A newly fledged time hopper and writer for History and Fantasy Inc. and I am not a skank!”(Star}

“I have a question for you Star. Why were you so scared after I threatened to rip out your spine and kill you? I mean we’re in the Underworld. If you die here then you’ll just come back to life. I also now realise I gave you the wrong kind of threat. I should have said I’ll destroy your soul or something.”(Katana)

“Wait you threaten people without even thinking about it?”(Star)

“Yes. My threats are usually more menacing that way.”(Katana)

‘Lightly rests my fingers over my eyes’ Is there anyone in my family who’s normal?

“I know I would come back to life but, I have a fear of death. It’s called thanatophobia. You know? A normal phobia.”(Star)

“Hey! Being scared that the color blue will burst out of the walls and recolor all things into it’s sick color and maybe eat my cooking is perfectly reasonable! It’s something that can only be warded off by pink shoes that can be used as weapons. Look.”(Katana) ‘Shing’

First off that's not a normal fear. If anything it’s completely baseless and weird. Secondly, how did I know it wasn’t going to be normal. Thirdly, why does your shoe have a switchblade in it?

“Now let’s get going. I want to spend more time with my son.”(Katana)

“Ok but I just want to know if you like me or not because your emotions have been all over the place.”(Star)

“Oh I like you. In fact I’m happy I have a granddaughter but, If find you flirting with my son I will rip you apart and use your soul as a toilet cleaner. What can I say? You don’t pass my standards to be able to date my son.”(Katana)

“What are your standards?”(Star)

Giving me a once over with her eyes Katana laughs and starts walking away.

“Don’t bother Star. You wouldn't be able to touch my standards even if you had a ladder and a ten foot pole.”(Katana)

“Unrealistic standards. Got it.”(Star)

Ignoring my statement Katana walked up to Diuscrucis but before she said anything he tossed a rectangular object at her.

“Finished. This energy disruptor is a lot more stable and powerful than it was earlier. Though, why do you want such a thing?”(Diuscrucis)

“You will find out later for now I will help you destroy the empress of north.”(Katana)

Cool. This might actually go faster than I thought.

“Next time.”(Katana)

“Oh gods damn it mom.”(Diuscrucis)

“What do you mean by next time?”(Star)

“I said, Next Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmeeeee!!!!!!!”(Katana)