'Fuck, it hurts... AND WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYTHING AROUND ME DARK AGAIN?! ARE YOU RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS AUTHOR?!'
(Authors note: It's aesthetic.)
'WHAT IS AESTHETIC ABOUT FUCKING DARKNESS?!'
"Soon." (???)
"Oh, so it's you again?" (Me)
I wait for a reply, but my friendly greeting is returned by silence.
"Alright, listen here you little shit. First: You have to decorate this shitty place a bit. Over there-." (Me)
I point in a random direction.
"-would be the perfect place for a houseplant. Maybe you could lay down a carpet while you're at it? And I guess I should bring my toothbrush the next time I come here. I'm practically living here already." (Me)
The voice doesn't respond again.
'Man, this is getting weird.'
I lie down in mid-space and rest my head on my hands.
"How is it going with the girls? Do you have a crush?~" (Me)
Once more, silence.
"*Sigh* Alright, you can take my body..." (Me)
"...Really?" (???)
The voice held a slight hint of expectation in it.
"Fuck no, you stupid shit. I just wanted you to talk." (Me)
The voice stays quiet for a second, but responds this time at least.
"It doesn't matter if you don't want me to, it's going to happen. It's fate." (???)
A smile creeps up my face.
"Why should I give the slightest fuck about fate? I'm pretty sure that my fate was for me to die, by falling off a building. But here I fucking am." (Me)
"We will see." (???)
"Fight me." (Me)
In the next moment, I feel like I'm sucked out by something and I regain consciousness.
'Oh... this fucking hurts.'
I keep my eyes closed while the pain from my own attack hits me.
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Are you awake?
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'Nope, I'm sleepthinking.'
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Oh no, you really suffer from brain damage. Your attack was really too strong.
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'I missed you too. So? What's the situation?'
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You fucked yourself up ---> you lost consciousness inside of Aline's arms ---> Hajime was taken away by the angel---> you were brought to a room to recover, while Janna was healing you
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'Oh? So I even triggered a flag with Aline while half dead? Not bad, me. By the way, whose turn is it now?'
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What? What turn?
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'To watch me by my bedside of course, silly! This is the scenario where I regain consciousness and the heroine, who was watching me at taht time, falls into my arms because she was worried the whole time.'
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Ah yes, of course. Right now, it's the best Heroine's turn.
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'And who is that? Belka? Aline?'
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Look for yourself.
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I slowly open my eyes in a dramatic way. I notice how my eyes first stick together like I slept for a long time and then look at the bedside.
'...I'm... not hurt in the slightest.'
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Why is a tear rolling down your cheek?
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'The wounds are just hurting... that's all.'
At my bedside is no one other than the lazy commentator, resting his head on my pure white bed.
"No... I can't eat anymore-" (Commentator)
'Oh my god, he's even saying that shi-'
"-acid... That won't help me in dying..." (Commentator)
'Damn, that cliché took a slight turn.'
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Commentator is best girl
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I look at the unshaved Commentator's face. A little bit of drool is running down his cheek, making him look pretty defensless.
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He's like an angel, don't you think?
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"GET THE FUCK OFF MY BED YOU UGLY PIECE OF SHIT!" (Me)
I try to kick his face, but he catches my enhanced foot with his bare hand.
"Hm? Oh... you're awake, huh?" (Commentator)
His grip on my foot tightens, which hurts even more than it would normally do since I hurt my legs the most.
I heal my wounds quickly and blink behind him, only to realize that he somehow already managed to get behind me.
"Euh... wounded people should stay in bed... I think..." (Commentator)
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
He kneels down to reach my knees and picks me up in a princess carry.
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Wait, what is happening? Why are you being conquered right now?
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"Please be gentle. It's my first time." (Me)
"Euh... what?" (Commentator)
"What?" (Me)
An uncomfortable silence covers us while we look each other in the eyes.
"Put. me. down." (Me)
"Euh... right." (Commentator)
Just as he wanted to put me down, Janna and the others barge into my room.
"What... what is happening right now?" (Lydia)
"Why is he carrying you like that, Yu?" (Aline)
"*Pant* Have you been *Pant* doing immoral stuff *Pant* while we were not here?" (Janna)
'Ah right, I nearly forgot that Janna is one of those.'
I blink out of his arms.
"No, Janna, it's not what you think-" (Me)
"Euh... yeah... we're lovers." (Commentator)
"THE FIRST FUCKING TIME YOU INITIATE A CONVERSATION AND YOU FUCK ME OVER! THAT'S GOTTA BE A NEW RECORD!" (Me)
The Commentator smirks for the first time. It's as infuriating as surprising.
"I- I- I WON'T ALLOW THAT!" (Aline)
"Why wouldn't you allow that? Is there a reason for it?" (Me)
Aline fixes her body posture and puts on an arrogant expression.
"Of course there is a reason! The great Aline always has a reason!" (Aline)
"And that reason would be?" (Me)
She looks at me and just as she was about to say something, she realises that she can't say her real reason out loud.
"That's because... because... BECAUSE! I DON'T NEED A REASON!" (Aline)
"But didn't you just say that you always had a reason?" (Me)
"I...!" (Aline)
She blushes and looks at the ground, trying to hide her face behind her hair.
'I love teasing Aline after blowing myself up with a mana bomb.'
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Since it happens so frequently, right?
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I leave the blushing Aline and turn to the Commentator again. He already got the smirk off his face and is back to his usual, dead face.
"Why were you the one who was guarding me?" (Me)
"Euh... I was guarding you... because I had to tell you something... yeah." (Commentator)
"And that is?" (Me)
"Euh... the next match will be postponed until further notice. The reason is... euh... I think it was something about someone missing..." (Commentator)
'So because of Hajime, huh?'
"Alright then, you're dismissed. There is still something I have to do." (Me)
Without a word, the Commentator leaves the room.
"Now then. I know it should be time for our heartwarming reunion after you guys were worrying for hours and hours-" (Me)
"I wasn't worried in the slightest, to be honest." (Lydia)
I twist my wrist and open a hole under Lydia, which leads outside of this rooms window. For your information, we're on the sixth floor.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH I'M SORRY! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" (Lydia)
'Huh, you never know how convincing a drop out of the sixth floor is, until you've tried it.'
I twist my wrist once more and Lydia reappears in front of me.
"-but I have something important to check." (Me)
I clap and teleport out of the room.
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What are you trying to check?
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'I want to check if my little quiz game bore fruit.'
I go down the hallway, counting the amount frills on the red carpet, until I finally hear something around the next corner.
"HOW COULD YOU?! ARE YOU REALLY SO INDECISIVE THAT YOU LET US SUFFER FOR IT?!" (Energetic girl from Hajime's harem)
"I- No! Of course not!" (Hajime)
'Oh this is gonna be good.'
I peek around the corner and see how Hajime stands in front of his whole group of girls. He's seemingly in panic, which is visible by his pathetic expression and the amount of sweat running down his face.
"Hajime~ to be honest you fucked up big time. That was the biggest turn off I got since I saw rats fuck a corpse." (Big tittied lady we saw at his introduction)
"Urgh." (Hajime)
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'WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TO YU KRIFTA'S COMMENTARY SHOW! TODAY, WE COMMENT ON HOW HAJIME HIIRO IS GETTING ROASTED BY HIS VERY OWN HAREM! I'm joined of course by the one and only MR. SCREEEEEEN!'
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I wish you all a good day and a happy roasting
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'THE BIG TITTIED SISTER SEEMS TO HAVE ALREADY STARTED WITH AN UPPER CUT RIGHT FROM THE START! HAJIME DIDN'T TAKE IT WELL AS IT SEEMS! WHAT DO YOU THINK MR.SCREEN?!'
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It really was magnificiently executed. She compared him with disgusting rats and meanwhile she even told him how much she disliked his indecisivness. Truly beautiful.
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"Are we nothing worth in your eyes? You just had to say what you think of us, for the sake of of saving us, but you couldn't even do that." (Energetic girl from Hajime's harem)
"Y- You are! Of course you are!" (Hajime)
"Then why didn't you try to save us? What if those shocks didn't only knock us out, but also would've hurt us badly? We're lucky that Yu didn't seem to want to hurt us...." (Energetic girl from Hajime's harem)
'THAT MUST HAVE HURT! THE ENERGETIC GIRL OUTDID HER BIG TITTTIED SISTER, BY DEALING OUT ONE HARD JAB AFTER THE OTHER!'
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Comparing the love interest to another guy? And even telling him how gracious the other person was? That must've destroyed his manliness. Her talent is very frightening.
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'BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO STOP HERE! THE QUIET BOOKWORM STILL SEEMS TO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!'
"Stay away from me... please." (Quiet girl)
"But- But I-" (Hajime)
'NO RESPOOOONSE! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY AT THESE HARSH WORDS FROM THE NICE, QUIET GIRL! IF I HAD TO COMPARE IT, IT WOULD BE A CLEAN RIGHT CROSS!'
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Even if you have the best mental defense, if you were told by a quiet and nice girl to stay away from you, then you took critical damage.
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'WHILE I HAVE A FLASHBACK OF MY WORST MOMENT IN SCHOOL, LET'S SEE WHAT WILL KNOCK HAJIME OUT!'
"We've all decided. We can't continue our journey with someone who doesn't value us at all. We're leaving you." (Energetic girl NOT from Hajime's harem)
"Sorry love. I think there may be someone else who's worth to catch." (Big tittied lady we saw at his introduction... who's also NOT from his harem)
The girls turn around and leave Hajime there, kneeling, with tears all over his face.
'THAT'S IT! K.O! HE'S DOOOOOOOWN'
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No one can do anything against such a brutal way of fighting. Girls really are ruthless.
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'Oh shit, they're coming my way.'
The girls go around the corner and meet me. They first look surprised, but after that moment of surprise faded, they quickly go away.
"Not even a "thanks", huh? Well, the hero always does his job out of good will..." (Me)
"WHO'S THERE?!" (Hajime)
"No need to be so rude." (Me)
I step into Hajime's hallway. His once pathetic face contorts to one full of anger and hate.
"YOU! BECAUSE OF YOU I LOST EVERYTHING!" (Hajime)
"Haha... yeah. You kinda did, didn't you?" (Me)
"I WILL END YOU! YOU TOOK MY FRIENDS FROM ME! YOU TOOK MY PRIDE-" (Hajime)
'OH NO! NOT HIS PURAIDO!'
"- AND YOU EVEN TOOK MY RIGHT EYE!" (Hajime)
Hajime pulls his bangs away, which were just now covering his right eye and reveals my masterpiece. All over his right eye is a perfect magic circle carved in. His eye itself became a disgusting milky white and is probably completely blind right now.
"Oh yeah, right... that. I implemented a fun gimmick! Did you already discover it?" (Me)
"WHY DOESN'T IT HEAL?! THE ANGELS DID EVERYTHING THEY CAN, AND THEY STILL COULDN'T HEAL IT!" (Hajime)
"It's nice, isn't it? It should also hurt way more than usual when I do this." (Me)
I flick my fingers, but with my ring finger.
"AAHHHHHHH!" (Hajime)
I just watch him writhe in pain while holding his right eye.
"I HATE YOU!" (Hajime)
"Come on, don't be like that! AREN'T WE FRIENDS HAJIME?!" (Me)
"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL TORTURE YOU UNTIL YOU BREAK AND THEN GURGLE ON YOUR BLOOD! I'LL KILL EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN I'LL GIVE YOU A SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH!" (Hajime)
"Holy shit. I'm actually starting to like you now. Wanna be friends?" (Me)
"REMEMBER MY WORDS! ENGRAVE THEM INTO YOUR MIND! I'LL BE BACK" (Hajime)
"Did you just quote "Terminator" while threatening me?" (Me)
"REMEMBER THE- AAAHHHHHH!" (Hajime)
I snap my with my ring finger and another jolt of pain runs through Hajime.
Additionally to the pain, I pressure Hajime with mana which he already is too familiar with.
"Hajime. Here's a little life lesson." (Me)
I grab him by his hair and pull his face up.
"Never threaten someone while being weak." (Me)
Suddenly a light beam envelopes Hajime, once again, and he slowly vanishes.
"Oh man, just as it was getting fun to tease him a bit. Damn angels... Well, I guess that's it for Hajime. He probably won't reappear until I fight heaven itself." (Me)
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Yeah, sure. Just talk about fighting one of the most powerful organisations like you're going for a dump.
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"Screeny... you shouldn't forget that my dagger is the dagger that will pierce the heavens!" (Me)
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And you're gonna quote Gurren Lagann while declaring war. Nice.
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"I love that you get all my referrences..." (Me)
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Of course I do!...Nia is best waifu
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"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?! YOKO IS BEST WAIFU YOU DUMB NUT!" (Me)
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FUCK YOU!
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"NO FUCK YOU!" (Me)
The remaining days went by in a flash. I teased Aline a few times, tried to tame Janna a bit and Estelle... was Estelle.
And soon, I found myself back in front of the gate, my last fight in front of me.
'I'm starting to get nervous...'
"Soon." (???)
'Shut the fuck up for a second, would ya?'