Since when is "kicking the door in and shouting death threats" sneaky?
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'It's the definition of sneaky. Look it up, sweetheart.'
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"Sneaky": doing things in a secret and unfair way. That's from the cambridge dictionary.
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'You just had to really look it up, eh? Fucking cunt.'
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Easy win, you stupid shit.
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'I look forward to the day that I can finally uninstall you.'
The entrance hall of the oddly modern scyscraper, is swarmed with guards, who have yet to be sent out into the battlefield. The moment I kicked the door in, their attention turns to me.
"GET THAT KID!" (Guard #1)
"YOU DID NOT HAIL THE GUILD MASTER!" (Janna)
Janna disappears from my side and in the next second, I see that guy hanging from the roof with his head inside it.
In the meantime, when the guards have to recover from the shock of their supervisor being hanged like christmas decoration, I swing my arm once vertically, making a "Spatial Cut" appear mid-air and splitting the rest of them in two.
About 50 guards dead, in the matter of seconds.
'They really need to step up their game.'
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Buddy, just wanted to tell ya that only a third of your mana is left.
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'A third? Shit, I guess teleporting 2000 people is too much, even for my mana pool.'
"Yu! I found the stairs!" (Janna)
While I've been thinking about my mana pool, Janna seemingly already found our way up... or rather didn't.
"Janna, this is a scyscraper, identical to the ones in our old world. Who used stairs at that time?" (Me)
She tilts her head in an unknowing manner.
"Elevators. Why should we run up the stairs, if we can just skip all those possible enemies?" (Me)
"...I guess I could've thought of that, too." (Janna)
I look around the hall, full of blood and intestines, and see one in the corner of the room.
"Let's go." (Me)
We enter the elevator together, and the door slowly closes. The bright lights bathe the whole elevator white, which is a nice change to the crimson red from before.
"Yu?" (Janna)
"Yep." (Me)
"This'll be our first boss, who we defeat together, right?" (Janna)
"Yeah." (Me)
'And I'm fucking looking forward to it.'
I take her hand and squeeze it tightly in anticipation.
The doors close, slowly as ever. The elevator starts to move us towards the last floor, where the first boss of many awaits us.
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I'll just leave this here
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'Really? This is supposed to be tense, you little shit.'
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I don't give a fuuuuuuuuuck
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The buzzing of the elevator gets gradually louder, the higher we come.
I feel Janna's hand getting damp.
"No need to worry, little one. This is more of a interview than anything else. I could've just destroyed this building all together, but I still need some informations of that guy, so I need to meet him." (Me)
Her head turns to me... beet red.
"What?" (Janna)
'Ah, she isn't nervous, but turned on.'
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The journey up continues, until a sound signals the end.
*DING!*
"We arrived, eh?" (Me)
The doors start to open.
I take my trusty knives out.
Janna gets ready to jump right at him, as soon as the doors stop hindering us.
I strengthen my entire body to the limit.
With only a slight sound, the doors completely open and-
"AAAAAAWWWWW YEEAAAAHHHH, FUCK ME HARDER, CHICKEN SANDWICH!" (???)
-I push the button for the first floor desperately.
"DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! DOWN! I WANT TO GO BACK DOWN!" (Me)
An old, half-naked guy with a green, long beard and black hair stands at his desk. Behind him a beautiful view of the grassy plains from before, and in front of him a sandwich with his dick inside.
"WHY ARE THE ADULTS HERE SO FUCKED UP?! I THOUGHT I'M THE SICK ONE IN THIS STORY?!" (Me)
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The door is stuck, eh? What a beautiful coincidence.
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"FUCK THIS WORLD!" (Me)
The sick dude turns around, his lean body showing his muscles clearly.
"WHA- WHO ARE YOU, AND HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!" (???)
"YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO, FIRST!" (Me)
"Yu? What is he doing with that sandwich?" (Janna)
"YOU JUST FUCKED UP ROYALLY!" (Me)
I snap once and teleport behind that guy. I lash out with my knives, but the surprise attacks, which normally hit, miss by a centimeter.
'Wow, first time in a while, that someone doesn't get defeated from my first attack.'
"WHY ARE YOU DISTURBING ME IN MY ACT?!" (???)
"OH, I'M FUCKING SORRY! SHOULD I GET YOU SOME LUBE AND LEAVE?!" (Me)
"That would be quiet pleasant, thank you." (???)
"Sarcasm doesn't exist in your sick brain, does it?" (Me)
At that moment, something unbelievable happened.
He. threw. the. sandwich. AT. ME.
I dodge it easily, but rage wells up inside me like it never has before.
"YOU ARE SO DEAD!" (Me)
"THAT'S FOR INTERRUPTING ME!" (???)
"THAT'S NOT A VALID REASON, FOR THROWING YOUR PSEUDO-FLESHLIGHT AT ME!" (Me)
Janna jumps at him from behind, with incredible speed, and dropkicks him in my direction.
I swing my arms at him, which makes "Spatial Cuts" fly directly at him, but he dodges them once more.
"I EXPECTED THAT, YOU SICK FUCK!" (Me)
Right behind the spacial cuts, were 8 knives connected with lightning between them. The lightning between the knives catches him off-guard and gets him mid-air.
'BUT AT THIS POINT I WON'T STOP! NO! NO! NO!'
I teleport beside him again and start condensing half of my current, pure mana into 3 spears with spikes.
Straining my reflexes to the limit, I aim at his violently convulsing body in the air.
The first spear pins him on the wall through his right hand.
The second spear fixes him tightly to the wall through his left hand.
The third, and last, spear drills through both of his feet.
"Thou shalt be put before trial for thy sins. The lord may judgeth the sinner." (Me)
I create a lightning bolt above him, with pure mana filled by the "Lightning" attribute.
"AND THE LORD SHALT SMITE THE SINNER!" (Me)
The lightning bolt descends rapidly and goes through his body, with a thundering roar.
''Oh shit, I hope I didn't kill him. I kinda lost myself there.'' (Me)
And then his whole body turns into smoke.
I hear someone rapidly moving behind me and dodge immediately to the side, but not without getting cut badly at my hip.
"When I said, that I hoped that I didn't kill you, I didn't mean that you sick fuck should come out unscathed." (Me)
"WOULD YOU KINDLY LEAVE NOW?! I STILL HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS!" (???)
"You know what? Alright. I'll leave you alone." (Me)
"FINALLY! Now, where's the chicken sandw-" (???)
"But that doesn't count for my cute little sister behind you." (Me)
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You entered a holy area, made by your teammate "Janna Krifta"!
You have been buffed!
Health Regeneration +100%!
Mana Regeneration +200%
All stats +20!
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'Ah, right. She's still a mage with the "Holy" attribute. I COMPLETELY forgot about that.'
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Yeah, me too. I was confused as fuck when I got the message that I should tell you about the buffs.'
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Suddenly, with a huge *BOOM!*, Janna gets enveloped inside a pink aura. Her blonde hair, which flutters like she's in a storm, turns pink, just like her eyes.
'What a cute new look.'
"DID YOU JUST HURT MY PRECIOUS YU?! I WILL FUCKING RIP OUT YOUR INNARDS AND GURGLE ON YOUR FUCKING BLOOD, YOU PERVERTED SON OF A WHORE!" (Janna)
'Her personality fits perfectly.'
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No, it doesn't.
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'Wait a second, this pink aura kinda reminds me of something.'
Suddenly, the pink aura condenses and gets sucked inside Janna.
'Wait a second. Is this-'
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WAIT A SECOND. IS THIS-
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The moment, the whole pink aura is collected inside her, her leather armour changes.
'AND HOW IT FUCKING CHANGES!'
It first disperses into light particles, but doesn't let anything indecent show. Janna does a perfect pirouette, and then the light particles reappear at her body, and gently caress it.
The blinding light turns into a pink, frilly top and a white skirt with pink high-heels.
With that, the transformation is finished.
'THAT'S A MAGICAL GIRL!'
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YES, IT FUCKING IS!
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With a slight shimmering around her, she glares at the sick fuck.
"When I couldn't help him at the tournament, I decided that I would never let him be harmed in any way again. AND YOU JUST FUCKING HARMED HIM!" (Janna)
'Well, it actually already healed because of your "Holy Area", but I'm actually nearly out of mana, so this fits perfectly.'
"GO, MAGICAL GIRL OF LOVE!" (Me)
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AND INCEST!
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"YES! I WILL AVENGE MY BELOVED ONE!" (Janna)
"This... might be bad." (???)
"THIS WILL BE BAD!" (Janna)
She lets shining knives magically appear out of her knee socks, and throws them at him, even faster than I did.
'I love that she has the same fighting style as me.'
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Well, you did train her.
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But it doesn't stop at that. She moves her finger once in a circle and creates a perfect, pink halo.
'Damn, there's a lot of pink around her.'
She sends the halo at him, which stops at the top of his head.
He tries to dodge the knives once more, but halts in his tracks.
"WHY CAN'T I MOVE?! AND WHY DO I HAVE THESE TERRIBLE PICTURES OF MY DEATH INSIDE OF MY HEAD?!" (???)
'My first guess would be, that the halo can control your mind to some extent. How far off am I, Screeny?'
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...
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'Spot on, eh?'
"AND NOW, I WILL JUDGE YOU FOR YOUR SINS!" (Janna)
'God damn, I need a transformation as well...'