*Sigh*
"Alright, details please." (Me)
"Yes... although I can't tell you much. I was just able to see one picture of the future." (Janna)
'Fuck, it gets even worse. I can't prepare for it as good then.'
"On that picture, I saw you riding a dragon across a red sky." (Janna)
"..." (Me)
'Holy shit, cross the "gets worse" part. That sounds awesome...'
"And there's a pack of dragons following you." (Janna)
'AND IT GETS EVEN BETTER!'
"But..." (Janna)
At that point, she abruptly stops, her fists clenched until blood drips from them.
"There's a catch?" (Me)
"I..." (Janna)
'She hesitates in telling me something, huh? This is a first...'
I take her hand in mine and let my healing powers do their work, so her wounds don't leave any scars.
"Come on, don't be afraid. I mean, I'm riding dragons in that picture against some poor soul. What should we be afraid of?" (Me)
"But... the poor soul... is me." (Janna)
"..." (Me)
At my silence, Janna suddenly paniks.
"Yu, I swear, I would never betray you! I would never let go of you again! Not after I gained another chance!" (Janna)
"Huh? No, wait, don't get me wrong. I'm still kinda hung up on all the riding dragons and shit like that. About you being my enemy: Don't worry about that. I'll prepare for every sceanrio." (Me)
At my comforting words, she grabs her heart and calms down.
"Yu... I love you so much..." (Janna)
She look at me with hearts in her eyes, to which I pat her head with a smile.
"I know. Now go to bed already. It's getting late. I'll be coming soon. I just have to check some things." (Me)
"Yes! I'll be waiting!" (Janna)
She hops happily out of the room. With every hop, the candlelight flickers, until she closes the door and they all go out.
----------------------------------------
Master, I'm sorry to interrupt, but what if she really betrays you?
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'You think I didn't take that into consideration already? I just told her that I would prepare for every situation, and by that I really mean every situation.'
----------------------------------------
Sorry that I had to say that, but there is always the possibility of it happening.
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'No need to be. Not trusting anyone and not depending on anyone is always the right thing to do.'
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Watch out, or else you'll cut yourself with that edge.
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'I already do.'
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[https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/173/576/Wat8.jpg]
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'Nothing.'
I start to search the whole room for documents and clues on where I can find the HQ of this world. After half an hour I find-
"JACKSHIT!" (Me)
-yeah, that.
"The fucking former guild master couldn't even write for fucks sake. How am I supposed to find out anything from his left overs?!" (Me)
Every single drawer, closet and safe has been opened in this room. Nothing but fucked up porn about ogres and unicorns.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH THE WEIRD FETISHES OF THIS WORLD?!" (Me)
I flip the huge table in the middle of the room.
(Auhtor's note: NOW! CLICK ON THE LINK IN THE PRE-CHAPTER AUTHOR NOTE! I don't know myself why it works there, but not here. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻)
"Huh... a secret passage under a table? Really? This is the most unoriginal idea ever." (Me)
----------------------------------------
We're in an Isekai story. You can't complain about THAT being unoriginal.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
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'That's the author's fault, not mine.'
(Author's note: Fuck both of you, I'm not nearly creative enough to think of something original.)
I sense something grim from the dark passageway. Something very dark. Something-
"It's more porn." (Me)
...really?
"Yeah. But this time it's Orcs and fairies. But even more fucked up. You know what? At this point I'm not even surprised- okay, that Orc has fists as dicks. That's enough for today." (Me)
----------------------------------------
The real question is, why you looked through that.
----------------------------------------
"Oh wait, there's actually something useful in here." (Me)
I pick up a dusty book.
----------------------------------------
Wrong one.
----------------------------------------
"Fuck, it's porn again." (Me)
I throw the dusty book away and pick up the right one.
"A fucking contact book, eh? Well, better than no- there're 4 contacts totally... 4. This is getting more useless by the second!" (Me)
I glance at the contacts once.
"And they're even 2 pairs of siblings... SECRETARY!" (Me)
A few seconds after I shouted, I hear hurried footsteps coming up the stairs. Closely after them, a secretary rushes through the door.
"*Pant* Yes? You *Pant* called?" (Secretary)
I throw the book at her from inside the tunnel.
"Kya!" (Secretary)
"Get those guys here tomorrow. Tell them that the Guild Master died and the spot is currently vacant." (Me)
"B- But aren't you-" (Secretary)
"There is something, that's called "Lies", dear. Look it up." (Me)
After nodding, like she took it seriously, she looks at the very first name of the list, and immediately falls into panic.
"B- BUT THESE ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN! H- HOW C- CAN-" (Secretary)
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but did that sound like a question just now?" (Me)
Her nervousness obviously intensifies.
"N- No, but they are most likely very-" (Secretary)
"Busy? If they get the chance to rule this town, they'll come runnning like dogs in heat. Go." (Me)
"B- But I-" (Secretary)
"GO BEFORE I RAPE YOUR SKULL!" (Me)
"HIIIIIIII" (Secretary)
She turns around swiftly and runs away like her life depends on it.
----------------------------------------
What was that? That was just plain mean (；一_一)
----------------------------------------
*Sigh*
'Don't know either. Maybe the thing with Janna is tugging at me.'
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Come to think about it. Isn't she waiting for you?
----------------------------------------
"..." (Me)
----------------------------------------
...?
----------------------------------------
"I hope she didn't kill anyone by now..." (Me)
I leave the dusty basement and first take a deep breath of fresh air. The dampness inside has been nearly unbearable.
'Now, to console Janna.'
I leave the Guildmaster's room with a bit of anticipation in the back of my head, since I'm thinking on how to make up for making her wait so long.
Although I'm lookiing forward to it, the floors seem to stretch infinitely. Each step feeling heavier the nearer I come to our room.
'Fuck, am I really unconsciously trying to avoid her? Just because she could possibly betray me? I thought I was already over that a long time ago... what kind of pussy am I?'
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I arrive at our room. The wooden door looking at me threatingly. Every fiber of my body is refusing to still see someone who might damage my mental fortitude.
But even so, I open the door carefully with my right hand.
"Hey, Janna, sorry for being so la-" (Me)
And then I stop.
Janna lies on the bed in her white negligee, a few streaks of hair caress her beautiful face like they're made out of silk. Her ever so naiveexpression looks even more relaxed now, like she doesn't even care that she might be declared my enemy soon.
"Yu..." (Janna)
"She's even sleeptalkling..." (Me)
"I want to suck your dick like a vacuum cleaner..." (Janna)
"..." (Me)
----------------------------------------
Give her the D
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'It doesn't work if you change the size of your fonts, Screeny. You are a fucking screen. You can't say something quietly.'
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Fuck you, I can.
----------------------------------------
I look at Janna once more. I notice her rythmic breath, her small stature and weird sleeping position.
Suddenly, from the bottom of my stomach, I feel heat rising up. It's something I haven't felt in a whole while. Something nearly forgotten.
'Seems like I need to take a shit.'
With a slight, genuine smile, I leave the room, the toilet my next destination.
"Gotta push this out of me again. Can't have it stay for too long." (Me)
I think about Janna in her sleeping position for a little while.
"Guess I really gotta come up with something..." (Me)
And then I fell asleep... on the toilet.
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The next morning.
"FUCK! MY LEGS ARE COMPLETELY NUMB! FUCK! I CAN'T FEEL EVEN A SINGLE DROP OF BLOOD IN THEM! FUCK!" (Me)
From outside of my throne room, I hear a nervous voice trying to reach me.
"E- Excuse me, S- Sir. I- I managed t- to-" (Secretary)
"I swear to Christ, your sentence take thrice as long as they normally would. What the fuck is wrong with you? SPEAK UP!" (Me)
"YES! YOUR GUESTS HAVE ARRIVED, SIR! I MANAGED TO GET THEM HERE ON SUCH A SHORT NOTICE!" (Secretary)
'The fuck? That was a quick change?'
"VERY WELL, CADET! YOU'RE DISMISSED! GET YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE! YOU'VE DONE A GREAT JOB!" (Me)
"YES, SIR!" (Secretary)
'Who am I to let such an opportunity pass by?'
This whole conversation took place through a toilet door.
*Toilet flushing*
'And I'm fucking proud of it.'
I open the door, but don't get far. 2 identical, huge guys are blocking my way with 2 identical, little girls filling the gaps.
"Who-" (Huge guy #1)
"-are you?" (Huge guy #2)
"We want to-" (Little girl #1)
"-know too." (Little girl #2)
"Okay, first of all: Your way of talking is fucking creepy. This whole thing of finishing the sentences of your twins? Waaaay too old." (Me)
*Clap*
I teleport behind them.
"Secondly, you don't block someone's way on his way out of the toilet after spending LITERALLY his whole night there." (Me)
They turn around, surprised at my quick incantation.
"And thirdly, to answer your question,-" (Me)
I take one more deep breath, the smell of shit finally not burning my nose like it's napalm.
"-I'm your pimp and y'all are my bitches." (Me)
The muscles of the two huge guys immediately inflate at my insult. Each vein is visible through their muscles, making them look more like a god damn highway, rather than the unwashed bodybuilders they are.
"You-" (Huge guy #1)
"-brat." (Huge guy #2)
"Do we really have to resort to violence?" (Me)
"We will-" (Little girl #1)
"-make you suffer." (Little girl #2)
Every single piece of furniture around them starts to float, as if they've been possessed by ghosts.
"Put them down, girls, those were expensive." (Me)
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You didn't buy them.
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'And I don't want to replace them.'
"We will-" (Little girl #1)
"-teach you manners." (Little girl #2)
"You will teach ME manners?! You two look like you were not even in pre-school yet!" (Me)
"Respect-" (Huge guy #1)
"-your elders." (Huge guy #2)
"Oh, you two were persons?! I thought you were some kind of portable street map, from your looks." (Me)
I sense bloodlust coming from both parties, every weapon in their arsenal directed at me.
'Provoking is getting too easy.'
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Congratulations! You learned the skill "Provoke"!
Only a master of insulting and infuriating someone could possibly learn this skill. The possessor can truly be called a cunt.
Effect: Enrage opponents. Enraged opponents are more keen to attack you, and lose part of their reasoning.
Fyi, this is a real skill.
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"Lol, I like it.'