'Thinking about it, this scene isn't exactly unpleasant either...'
Greeting me was a girl with a brown ponytail and a sporty figure, who, for some reason, throws herself at my cute little Heroines.
"You girls are way too cute to be eating alone. Why don't you eat with me, we get to know each other and later I will put on my strap-on dil-" (???)
"Alright, you stop right there. As much as I like it, you have to stop right there." (Me)
The girl with the ponytail turns around and faces me. She checks me out from top to bottom before spitting on the ground with a disgusted expression.
"What does a disgusting male want from me?" (???)
'DISGU- I HAVE 40 POINTS IN CHR STAT!!! I SHOULD BE AT LEAST 20 TIMES MORE HANDSOME THAN THE NEXT GUY!'
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20 times 0 is still 0, buddy
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'Fuck you and your programmed ass.'
"What are you looking at me so dumbfounded for? If you've got nothing to say, then get your disgusting male scent away from here." (???)
"To be honest, I wanted to check if you could be one of my Heroines. Buttfuck that." (Me)
"Heroi-!" (???)
I point my finger at her and shoot my Raygun several times. They hit her directly, resulting in an explosion. Dust flies around and something lands, again, in my eye.
'I swear to Screeny, can't they keep this place clean?! GOD IT ITCHES!!!'
I try to swagger to my reserved chair without itching my eye and looking like a total dork. At that moment something surprising happens. The dust settles and out of it comes an unharmed, ponytailed girl.
"Ho? You still aren't dead?" (Me)
"Who do you think I am, to be defeated by such an attack?" (???)
"Well, I thought you were a lesbian whore, whose "special place" is as worn out as my body pillow in my previous life. For your information, at the end it could stand on it's own." (Me)
"2/3 of what you just said is right, but you were missing one fact." (???)
"Wait, which parts were right?" (Me)
"I'm also the top ranked of the second class." (???)
"Cool, but I don't really care about that. I need to know which parts were right!" (Me)
I notice mana flowing into her right arm and something circular shining through her clothes. In the next second, a gigantic icicle makes its way towards me.
'That was probably a magic circle...'
I take out 2 knives from my inventory and embed lightning into them. After throwing the knives past the icicle, I blink away. The knives seem to completely miss the target, since she stands right between them.
"If you can't throw knives, then don't even try i- BSKJHDBKADGB" (???)
The moment she tried to mock me, I locked my fingers and the "Connect Lightning" spell activated. This resulted in a connection out of lightning between the two knives.
The lesbian whore falls to the ground, foam coming out of her mouth. The whole cafeteria seems shocked, since I just defeated the strongest from the second year and I just bathe in their gazes.
'Yes, look at me and my awesomeness!'
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Don't tell me... yep you've got a boner....
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'Can't do anything about it. I can't deal with gazes if I did something embarassing, but if I'm being awesome, then they can look at me as much as they want.'
I go to the girl with the ponytail and pick her limp body up.
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Damn, you're even ready for necrophilia? You really must be thirsty...
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'Not yet, my dear programmed friend. She's still alive, and it seems like she knows a thing or two about magic circles. I'm sure she can "share her knowledge" with me.'
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Oh, alright, gotcha... wait, what do you mean by "not yet"?
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Ignoring the obvious questions from my dear companion, I lay her body on a bench in our vicinity and finally get to eat with my dear little daughter.
I put Belka on my lap and dodge another one of Janna's assassination attempts. Life is good. Wait, that was a flag wasn't it?
"Don't you think you were a bit too harsh?" (Aline)
'Shit, I knew this moment would come...'
"Well, my dear Aline, you have to know that I'm very protective of my belongi- I meant friends. I can never let something happen to any of you. If something were to happen to you, then I wouldn't know how to live with myself. You girls are, after all, one of the most important things in my life." (Me)
Aline just looks down with a shy expression, while anyone, except of Lydia, just wiggles around in happiness.
"Yeah, you can't fool me with that shit. Maybe if I didn't know the real you-" (Lydia)
"Lydia..." (Me)
"Yes, I'm sorry." (Lydia)
Since my next lesson would only start within a few hours, I take the lesbian back to my place.
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So it's rape time now, huh? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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'If she's not cooperative, then sure. Why the fuck not?!'
I pull out a rope from my inventory and bind her limbs to my bed. Tightening it as much as I can, i sit down and wait patiently.
30 minutes later.
'GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! WHEN IS SHE WAKING UP?! Oh, there she goes.'
"Your next line is: "Wh-where am I?"!" (Me)
"Wh-where am I? WHA-?!" (???)
'Aaaaannnddd I can scratch another line from my list.'
"This is my room. I thought that since you're my senior, you could teach me a few things. In exchange for keeping your virginity that is." (Me)
"HA! That ship has already sailed since my father crawled into my room when I was 3 years old!" (???)
"...you wanna talk about it?" (Me)
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Damn...
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"So? What do you want from me?" (???)
"First I want your name. It feels weird if I can't adress you properly." (Me)
"It's Lisa. Lisa Wolfthorn XII." (Lisa)
'Damn, that name is badass. Pokes right at my chuunibyou...'
"Now, you have to promise me that you will never come near that group of girls again." (Me)
"I refuse." (Lisa)
"... you know the situation you're in right now right? This is the situation my computer was full of in my previous life. Well, the tentacles are missing, but I'm sure we will find a way." (Me)
"You can do what you want to me. I will never cease to love cute girls! When I only look at those girls, I can already imagine them in cute outfits. Especially that catgirl. I want to dress her into a dress with frills and have a tea party with her!" (Lisa)
'I feel a deep connection running through us...'
"ARE YOU INSANE?! The best for her would be a white onepiece dress with a straw hat! Only that would emphasize her purity!" (Me)
"AMATEUR! The best for her would be-" (Lisa)
After half an hour of comparing our ideas, we came to an agreement.
"You're right, age doesn't matter, as long as she's cute." (Me)
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Wait, where did that come from?
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I look at her and decide to untie her. She changes into a sitting position and we exchange glances. In these 30 minutes, a deep bond was created. A bond which would normally only be possible between 2 gentlemen. We cross our arms, deciding that we have the same preferences.
"So... do you swing both ways?" (Me)
"Only if a girl is involved or under special circumstances." (Lisa)
"Tch." (Me)
"What did you even bring me here for?" (Lisa)
"Oh, right. I wanted to know how you were able to chant so fast." (Me)
"Isn't it the same for you? I think you could chant even faster than me?" (Lisa)
"Yeah, but I'm a special case." (Me)
"Okay? Me, being able to chant so fast, is the result of magic circles engraved into my body." (Lisa)
'I knew it.'
"And I want to know more about magic circles. I think we can come to an agreement." (Me)
"I want the catgir-" (Lisa)
"Fuck off, she's mine." (Me)
"Tch. Then I want the black haired one." (Lisa)
At that moment, Lydia coincidentally barges into the room.
"Alright. But only dressing up. And I want to watch." (Me)
"*sob*." (Lydia)
"You are a necessary sacrifice. Put up with it." (Me)
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Even I'm starting to feel bad for her...
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After securing a teacher for magic circles, I made my way to my first space magic class. It wasn't really anything special. I was able to understand the basics of space magic and thanks to my high INT stat, I was able to think further. But what I found out after that, that was surprising.
'Status'
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STATUS
STATS
Level: 46 Statpoints: 0
HP: 44 MP: 8118 HP REGEN: 0.16/sec MP REGEN: 0.60/sec
STR: 24 DEX: 104 END: 16 INT: 52 WIS: 60 CHR: 40 LCK: 30
ABILITIES
ACTIVE: Space of distorted Time; Lightning step (shortcut: clap); Raygun (shortcut: pointed finger); Enhance (shortcut: slap desired part of body); Lightning clad (shortcut: touch both shoulders diagonally) ; Blink (shortcut: flick); Heal (shortcut: Touch target with pinky and thumb); Search life (shortcut: touch temples) ; Embed Lightning (shortcut: tap weapon of choice twice); Connect Lightning (shortcut: lock fingers); Cure Disease (shortcut: Point pinky at target); Cure higher Curse (shortcut: point ringfinger at target); Counter (Auto)
PASSIVE: Perfect Body control; Extreme Magic potential (Gift from God); Perfect language comprehension; Inventory; Shortcut; Twin Dagger Mastery (72%); Throwing Knives Mastery (100%); Higher Throwing Knives Mastery (8%); Eyes of the Incubus (Toggle)
AFFINITIES: Lightning (99,99%); Life (46,75%); Space (0,3%)
TITLES
"The one who made God vomit"
"You're fucking ridiculous"
"Nightmare of the magic Forest"
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'My affinity to space magic increased?'
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Well, if you know more about the magic the more you increase your affinity, then shouldn't it work the other way as well? Although that won't count for anyone else...
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'I wish I would've known that earlier...'