I run towards a group of boys, who surround a single person. They are throwing stones at that person, although she is just cowering there, hooded in a simple cloak.
"Oi, let me have fun as well!" (Me)
The whole circle turns around and faces me. Their numbers are easily over 10, making me seem at a disadvantage. Out of the crowd comes a boy who looks just like you would imagine a cheeky noble son would look. Blonde hair, expensive clothes and a smug look on his face.
"Who are you? Don't bother the great me, or else you will regret it!" (Obviously an asshole)
"Well, I'm just your friendly neighborhood MC passing by, obviously raising another flag. Not that you would understand what I'm saying." (Not asshole Me)
If you haven't noticed it yet, I'm the good guy here. Doesn't matter what happens in a few moments. It really doesn't matter.
"So you are telling me I'm too dumb to understand?" (Obviously an asshole)
'If he wants to brawl, he should just say it directly... he doesn't need to convince me with his infinite charm *blush*.'
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I'm preeeeeetty sure you are not the good guy here.
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'I help the people in need!'
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If they are possible Heroines...
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'Don't sweat the small details... you are always so nitpicky!'
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And you are a complete psycho, who just does what he wants to. And for what?
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'FOR THE GLORY OF SATAN OF COURSE!'
"I just want to make it a fair game! I'll be on the same team as the person over there, and we will play with each other." (Me)
A grin appears on the face of the smug boy.
"Alright, so we are ten against two. I think it's fair." (Obviously an asshole)
"You know, a wise, but irresponsible and old person once said... THE ONE WHO STRIKES FIRST WINS!" (The cool and awesome Me)
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Inside a village surrounded by a forest
*BAM*
"*moan* Why art thou angered, master?" (Masochistic former royal guard captain*moan*)
"Some dipshit is talking bad about me again!" (Wise, but irresponsible and old person)
*whip*
"Harder please!" (Masochistic former royal guard captain)
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I slap both of my thighs, enhacing my legs and kick the asshole right in the balls. The other guys just look at me, dumbfounded.
"What? At least I didn't throw a cat at you!" (Me)
One finally snaps out of it and prepares a fireball spell.
'Hm, I always wanted to try something.'
I let him do as he pleases and, after about 25 seconds, a fireball makes its way in my direction.
I gather pure mana around the fireball, resulting in the fireball to stop.
"HUH?!" (Sidecharacter #1)
"So it does work! But that alone nearly cost me half my mana... not very efficient but it has potential." (Me)
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Congratulations! You learned a new skill: Counter
Counter: Make those bastards eat their own filth! 10% Damage increase, if you use the opponents attack against them or use their force to power up your attacks.
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'Nice'
I throw the fireball back at my opponent, but only after I enhanced it with Lightning of course.
"AAHHHHH!!!" (Sidecharacter #1)
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
'Ouch, doesn't look like his face will recover anytime soon...'
The other guys hear the unneeded sidecharacter scream and they fall into chaos. No one could really concentrate enough to form a spell, giving me enough opportunities to fuck them up.
"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You are locked in here with me!" (Badass MC)
'Alriiiight, I can scratch that off my list of "Things I want to say"! Only 56 to go!'
I take my time fucking them up, when suddenly a fireball hits me from behind and my sausage falls out of my pocket.
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Wait, do you mean that your dick just popped out?
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'Nah, I meant literally my sausage. Don't you have your own sausagepockets?'
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What the fuck went wrong in your childhood?
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'It all started, when I was born...'
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Sarcastic cunt
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"HOW DO YOU INTEND TO COMPENSATE ME FOR MY FAVORITE SAUSAGE?!" (Me)
"WHY DO YOU HAVE SAUSAGES IN YOUR POCKE-" (Obviously an asshole)
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STOP MENTIONING THOSE DAMN SAUSAGES
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He doesn't even notice me vanishing and appearing behind him. I close in on his ear.
"Do you want to know how the forbidden fruit tastes? *blow*." (Not gay MC)
I pop a finger up my asshole and then put it in his mouth.
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WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
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'Don't know, I was bored.'
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What a fucking plausible reason to put a finger up your butt and then let another one taste it.
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'I know right?'
I send an electric shock into him through my finger and with that, the fight was decided. I go to the person who is still sobbing and kneeling on the ground.
"Are you alright?" (Me)
The person turns around and upon seeing my face, she pulls the hood down.
'*WHEEEEEZE, HYPERVENTILATING* HOW CAN SUCH A CUTE THING EXIST?!'
The first I noticed, where her yellow eyes, which seemed to glow. Her hair is white and only shoulderlength which actually fits her petite stature. And with petite, I mean she's practically the cutest loli I've ever seen. Her facial features would only fit a child, but it still got a charm to it, which is indescribable. But then, I noticed the most important thing about her.
'A-A-A-Are... are those... c-c-cat ears? I thought only 4 races existed in this world?!'
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*pant* *pant* There are still stray races which are mixed in the population. They don't form a whole kingdom, but they still exist. AND NOW LET THE LITTLE GIRL SPEAK!
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"Are you the one who helped me, Meowster (Mister)?" (???)
'SHE EVEN SPEAKS LIKE THAT! I'm pretty sure I'm having a heart attack right now.'
"Well, I couldn't just let an innocent person get bullied, right?" (Me)
The catgirl looks at me with a naive expression. A smile appears on her face and she looks like she is now a bit more relaxed.
"Why are you even here? If you are a student here, shouldn't you be in class then?" (Me)
"I was just on meow way there, but then those bad guys started saying that they don't want someowne of a feral tribe here. Then they picked on me... you're generally the first nice person I meowt (met). " (???)
'I can't deal with it, she's just way too cute... She's like the daughter I never had!'
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Why daughter?
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'I always wanted a daughter! In my previous life I was 19 years old, and now that I aged another 11 years, I'm mentally already 30! I'm in the age of wanting a daughter.'
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So you're gonna treat her like a daughter then?
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'Yep. She will be my cute little daughter!'
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That's actually a pretty innocent reaso-
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'Still gonna fuck her though...'
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What did I even expect... Well more material for my collection! (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
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"Now that I helped you, I have to take responsibility for it. Let me escort you to your class room. What class are you in?" (Me)
"I'm in class A." (???)
'Did I already tell you that I love my luck Screeny?'
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Shut the fuck up
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'Damn, why are you so agressive today?'
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It's just frustrating to see you have all the fun with the girls and all I can do is just watch (ಥ﹏ಥ)
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'Hm... I wonder if there is a way...'
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What do you mean?
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'Well, it's gonna be a surprise I guess. Although anyone who didn't get that foreshadow just now should really rethink their life.'
"I have to go there too! Come on, let's go." (Me)
I turn in direction of our class. At that moment I notice something pulling at the sleeve of my shirt. And, surprise surprise, it was the catgirl.
I look at her with a smile on my face.
"Oh right! I haven't heard your name yet." (Me)
"Excuse meow, my name is Belka. Belka Kot... meow." (Belka)
We go back to class. I just barge in without even knocking, having Belka in tow.
"Where were you?!" (Joanna)
"I was having Diarreah and had to leave quickly, or else I would've shat on the floor. Thanks for invading my privacy." (Me)
"..." (Joanna)
I make my way to my place, pulling Belka behind me.
"And who is that?" (Joanna)
"Now you don't even recognize one of your students? How can you be so cruel?" (Me)
"Just sit down..." (Joanna)
I take my seat and place Belka on my lap.
"*purr* I like it here." (Belka)
*whoosh*
A knife was flying in Belkas direction, before I caught it with my bare hands.
"Brother? Who is that girl?" (Janna)
She looks at me with a cold smile on her face.
"This is my daughter." (Me)
"WHAT? WHY DO YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER?!" (Aline)
"God sent here to me. He told me that I should take care of her." (Me)
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Don't you mean Satan?
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"Bu- but I wanted your first child to be ours..." (Aline)
"Hm? What did you say?" (Me)
Of course I heard what she said.
"N- nothing! Have fun with your daughter, you... you cheater!" (Aline)
'This reaction was to be expected. But I haven't heard anything yet from my sister?'
I look at my sister and see how she crawled under the table and sharpens a knife.
"So I just have to kill God right? No problem. The power of love will help me, I'm sure of it... *murmur*:" (Janna)
'Oh... well not my problem. I wish you luck, God. This will be my first present to you.'
Suddenly, Lydia closes in on Belkas ear.
"Run while you still can. You don't know what things he will make you do." (Lydia)
"Oh? So you're getting rebellious? Just wait until we come back to the dorm, I will make you try on the micro bikini." (Me)
"*sob*." (Lydia)
"Hehe, Your friends are really fummy." (Belka)
'OH MY GOD! SHE JUST BIT HER TONGUE WHILE TRYING TO SAY FUNNY!'
"Yeah, make sure to get along with them." (Me)
"Kay!" (Belka)