Chapter 4? Hm, what a number. Have you ever considered how big 4 is? Look, 1...2...3....and 4. Quite big huh? Yet you've still managed to make it this far. Good job.
What I'm going to do/have done! (Section)
While focusing on planning I've also been writing ahead the stories here so theirs no risk of me missing a day or other crappy stuff like that.
In the writing itself I've been trying my hand on rhymes. So if you see a lot of songs/lyrics for a while then that's why.
Things I wrote just for you (And the others here as well!...Section.)
A rocky road curved side to side with a very long line of monsters. This road went to a mountain that had a giant neon sign
“Respawnable basic monsters, GO HERE."
Inside the mountain was a small room with a wooden desk, behind it was who’d you expect in such a place
Skeleton named Steve: “Cause of death?”
Giant Cactus: “Oh you know what it was! It’s hero season!”
A dinosaur of unspecified lineage (Likely from the creators laziness) tapped the Giant Cactus on his head, cutting itself in the process
Dinosaur of unspecified lineage: “Ow.”
Giant Cactus: “Oh what it is.”
Dinosaur of unspecified lineage: “Madam, I just wanted to say that I think that word generalizes the political situation in our kingdoms.”
Giant Cactus: “What?”
Dinosaur of unspecified lineage: “I mean, when you use the term hero you're implying that means their good. Same when you say our president is the ‘Demon king/queen.’, such words are archaic and lack the nuance of our s-"
Giant Cactus: “Oh fucking course I get stuck in line with a upward."
Political Dinosaur: “Actually I believe the terms ‘upwards.’ and ‘downwards’ denote too much-’
Giant Cactus hugged the Political Dinosaur, quick reminder, he is a big green cactus.
Political Dinosaur: “AHHH!”
Political Dinosaur knocked over the Glass man, shattering it and worsening the Dinosaur’s wounds.
Glass man: “oooouuuch.”
Giant Cactus: “Quick, send me back before that idiot recovers! I need to shoot needles into children's eyes not talk about blue-bird bullshit!
Obnoxious Plant (One of the most detestable monsters for both sides) was at the far back of the line. Even so anyone familiar with Obnoxious Plant knows that it has a sixth sense of when it should shout something particularly obnoxious, like-
Obnoxious Plant: “SUS!”
Giant Cactus: “FUCK OFF!”
Skeleton named Steve: “Alright alright, how much conflict and benefit did you cause?”
The Giant Cactus’s needles lengthened, which was his equivalent of a smile.
Giant Cactus: “I got one of my needles stuck in the toenails of a princess.”
Skeleton named Steve: “A slight cut?”
The Giant Cactus shook his...well everything.
Giant Cactus: “I PERFECTLY positioned it so it could not be taken out but also couldn’t cut her. Meaning the slightest movement would risk making the damn thing tear into her skin. She was FORCED to stand perfectly still for DAYS!”
Steve flipped around his book before landing on the right page
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Skeleton named Steve: “You NPCED her.”
Giant Cactus: “Damn right I did. That alone should get me revived immediately. I mean do you know how convenient it is for EVERYONE when such an important person is in one spot for days? I saved at least 30 minutes for 13 different questlines! Bare-minimum. And I traumatized a princess. Amazing, I know."
Skeleton named Steve: “The book does say that’s a high-ranking accomplishment. Very well, you can-”
Giant Cactus: “Hold up bone-head, I’m not done.”
Skeleton named Steve: “You have enough to revive, I-”
Giant Cactus: “Yeah! But I’m not done. As I was saying-”
Skeleton named Steve: “If you want a promotion you’ll need to go-”
Giant Cactus: “AS I WAS SAYING!”
Steve did what he always did when he needed to wait for whatever reason. Stare blankly and hope their shift was nearing an end. Luckily for Steve it was getting rather close for his time to leave, only an eternity or three until the next guy took over.
Giant Cactus: “Now that the princess was stuck people were falling over themselves to find a way to save her. Magicians with the power to move stars, Bladesmen so precise that they can cut Planck lengths in half! Monks who could crush miniature black holes with their ultra diamond neo-hardened fists! None of them could find a way around MY needle! And I’m a Street Mob! Giving Star-Shapers a struggle!"
Skeleton named Steve: “If you want a promotion you can-”
Giant Cactus: “As you know my needles vanish from existence when I’m killed. Which basically started a questline about finding and killing me! O-oh wait…what’s that…you DIDN'T know? Hm, shows the respect numbskulls like you give to us Cactus folk.”
Skeleton named Steve: “Actually it's one of the only notable traits in your monster gallery, so I did-”
Giant Cactus: “And thanks to my brilliance one of the recently isekai’d heroes found the poor princess and promised to save her. She tracked me down, and a battle for the ages commenced. I took her eye, but in return, she took my LIFE! And from what I heard while standing in line for 15 hours? They're getting married. I bet I’m gonna be the best man at the wedding.”
Skeleton named Steve: “Okay, now can you-”
???: “HOLD IT!”
Giant Cactus turned his eyes…?...looked back with his face…?...his vision went to the dinosaur okay?
The Dinosaur exhaled…menacingly!
Political Dinosaur: “After what has occurred here, I simply can not allow you to leave without immediate correction.”
Giant Cactus: “Ah fuck.”
The needles popped off the Dinosaur. The red energy slipped off the monster as its jaw opened.
Political Dinosaur: “Giant Cactus…please allow me to apologize for misgendering you.”
Giant Cactus: “What?”
Political Dinosaur: “A slip of the tongue I assure you, but even then I accept if you can not forgive me for such an act.”
Giant Cactus did not know or give a fuck to what the Dinosaur was saying.
Giant Cactus: “...If I agree to this you won’t be like ‘argh, now I can bite you for your violence’...right?”
Political Dinosaur: “What? Of course not. Violence only breeds more violence. I would suggest that you consult a therapist to help with your anger issues. But I’d never dare lay my teeth upon you.”
Giant Cactus: “Oh…you're really…nice. I’ve never had someone be this…k-k-kind to me. I…I…”
Tiny needles fell off Giant Cactuses…eyes? Something like that. “I…I think I need a hug."
Political Dinosaur: “Of course my good sir.”
And so the Political Dinosaur gave the Giant Cactus a hug.
Let me now remind you, his a fucking Cactus.
Political Dinosaur: “AHHH!”
Political Dinosaur crashed into the now fully recovered Glass man, shattering it…again.
Glass man: “Oooowoooh come on!”
Giant Cactus: “Pff, you are such an idiot! Holy shit, I NEED to find your type in my next life. Its like stealing candy from a baby. Or should I say, a Babysaur-"
Giant Cactus laughed in the way only a Cactus could, launching needles everywhere.
Knife man: “Dad! Be careful!”
Knife dad: “It's okay son, my knife-head protected me, honey?”
Knife mom: “I’m fine, I-”
Adopted normal human: “AHHHHHH!”
That was only one of the many painful events Giant Cactus caused with his laugh. Everyone booed. And of course
Obnoxious Plant: “Lol u guys ain’t ghosts.”
Everyone then proceeded to booh Obnoxious Plant
Ghost Car: “That's not only obnoxious but also racist! Some of us go VROOM VROOM!”
While this was happening Giant Cactus was doing what it does best, gloat
Giant Cactus: “Yeah, fuck y’all! This is my last time here, I’m gonna get a promotion and-”
But like…no hyperbole, no one gave a fuck. So I don’t.
Skeleton named Steve: “So would you like me to guide you towards-”
Giant Cactus: “Yeah yeah yeah brainless heartless dickless guy named Steve, I know where the revival beds are.”
Giant Cactus hopped away.
Steve looked downward at the still-bleeding Dinosaur and broken Glass man, the red energy was only beginning to mend their wounds.
Steve: ‘Just a few more eternities…just a few more…’
Steve did not know that eternity was in fact eternal.
The final section! (Section.)
This is the part in which the chapter ends.