The Radiance Learned From Fragile Things (Blade)
Content Warnings:
Hmmm.... Quill song wiggles. A blind cutie. Worry and argument like things and a gerl beating the snot outta a poor tree AND THEN.... um... little talks of Brewing Vats which are just Witching making a bady in a stew instead of in a belly and um.... I think that's it! WOW!
There's a part of me that wonders what purpose suffering serves and if, as a juvenile goddess of sorts, it isn't something I should strive to eliminate completely from my demesne.
After the Mistresses got us all sorted and packed up for our trip in the evening, there was a long series of tearful goodbyes in the morning from a wide array of the Dolls who were more frightened than usual with the knowledge that we would be gone for almost the entirety of the two weeks before the meeting with the Grove Envoys. Warden surprisingly decided to stay behind after a quietly excitable first meeting with Ciska who we probably should have introduced to it much earlier. By mid afternoon, we're finally about to leave when Augusta brings Gebetsure to the Estate Gates, bag already packed, waves fondly and leaves the odd doll standing beside us without a word.
"So... Uhm..." I look at my Packmates and Mistresses in confusion "Did Augusta tell any of you that this one would be going with us?"
"Nope." Adaline responds.
Gebetsure smiles at us, and their sparse traveling clothes let us see most of those little mouths all across their Frame match the motion. Each as flexible and expressive as the lips on their face. "Madam Augusta told this one they would be coming with you. To listen and learn and record and serve. Then come back and ask for a Resheathing if the Frame does not match the needs of those betwixt."
Lynette, and it's obviously her from the expression of annoyance she's beginning to wear that this is wholly Lynette speaking, eyes them up and down. "You're the one that was pestering our Xafra to pester us into weaving... What was it? Some kind of temple or other such on the grounds to the Godthings. Correct?"
"Yes Ma'am. This one wants to learn how to..." They pause, thinking on that. Then makes such an odd string of tittering popping noises as all those mouths make sounds like what a gathering of confounded fish might do. "Sway. With their tides. Sing their voiceless songs." Then they turn back to smile at us. "This one isn't sure! But is excited to learn and serve. And record. Can't forget that!"
Lynette's expression sours further at that. And she gets part way to replying before something causes her to pause. Very apparently Mistress Elevar.
She sighs after a few heartbeats. "If the Kindly One insists we can allow you to tag along. Yes, fine. Just stick close to the Pack and don't wander off."
Gebetsure's smile refuses to waver under Lynette's obvious annoyance as they nod furiously. "Yes Ma'am. Close is important."
Truly, this is the epitome of suffering. Nothing can match me feeling uncomfortable with the fact that if I'm not careful Gebetsure will start praying to me while literally within earshot. I continue my deliberately overwrought thoughts in a way that comfortably reminds me of my mother Jezrial's sarcasm as the Mistresses lead us through the tunnels out into the jungle past the amateur Grove attempts at encirclement.
Once I'm confident that we're far enough away to avoid notice, I broach the conversation I had been avoiding all day, "So when we get there, we need to be on our best behavior to avoid causing offense. And that means until we get a baseline understanding of their cultural norms, I would really appreciate us not making requests that might seem too forward."
"If you minced those words any finer we could drink them." Adaline laughs. "I'm not going to immediately ask the first one we see if I can have their spores. Promise."
"Not sure they'd work on a Frame, at least not without certain modifications." Elevar adds. "That Doll we met before, Feryudra, said it was adopted and changed. Must be some kind of process for one to become a Sun-Blessed. Else more Dolls would be pulled into their ranks."
"True but also... We have no idea how many Sun-blessed Dolls there are. Still, I'll behave. And that also means that Mistress Lynette needs to watch her words as well. It's not just me that might be a problem." Adaline says defensively.
Without slowing her pace, Lynette replies quietly. "I don't mean to gift them any of my words. Elevar stumbled into calm negotiations before. Best to let you all have these peace talks. No need to invoke hostilities over them inquiring after the curse woven Horror sitting on her shoulder."
I hurriedly add, "And Gebetsure, don't start mentioning Girra's name to all of them, for the love of Dämmerung." before trying to figure out how to handle this growing situation with Lynette.
"Yes Mistress. Madam Augusta has been teaching this one the importance of quiet watching and learning and serving." Gebetsure nods and agrees quickly.
Okay okay okay, just go for it. [Lynette] I intone carefully, [I would like to challenge you on your use of the term Horror for yourself.]
She doesn't respond for quite a few heartbeats, then replies more gently and hesitantly than I expect.
[Its misunderstandings don't reflect my feelings about you. I chose you. Dämmerung accepted you. I think it's pretty... Fundamental to all of us here that we are more than our origins, yes?]
[Just two days ago, you gifted me your perceptions of myself and in doing so helped me break free of the bonds that held me and... Well... As uncomfortable as it is to say, I became a little bit of a Divine? So if the Sun-Blessed give you grief, I'll literally yell at uncle Girra to fix their hearts, because you're important to me.]
My Mistress pauses in her steps, and I realize how quite their tendrils have fallen. Limp and almost... dead as she glances back to eye me. Eyes shifting to their midnight purple but... seeming more glazed over. Like I've seen some elder's do when their vision starts to fade.
But instead of finishing that hissed demand, she pauses, takes a deep breath and turns to continue moving before intoning as tendrils begin to stir to titter a careful tune.
"Okay" I respond quietly. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."
Stupid Stupid Stupid. Just assuming everything is going to work because you want it to, that the Divines will just... help out due to the goodness of their wellsprings.
"You've nothing to apologize for, dear one. Your protectiveness means... so much to me. I just... Fine. Yes. I'll admit it before Elevar blathers the truth." Lynette sighs outwardly, Tendril's melody becoming messy and discordant. "I'm not just worried about Girra noticing me, I'm quite terrified at the idea. Am acting outside set parameters. Already leaking. And you've not even started pressing me with the difficult questions."
I stop walking entirely and look at her in bafflement.
Lynette glances back, "What?"
I chew on my words for a moment longer before speaking "Mistress... I ascended outside during the day. Girra has already noticed everyone involved, and chosen not to act on the knowledge." I finally say.
She goes impossibly still, like I've only seen her do in my Driftdream. Her mouth only barely moving to whisper. "No that's... He just saw Elevar. Mayhaps my reflected shadow but no more. Just like the others. Those two seekers. Even... Even Nomos reflected upways wouldn't tell him more. No ocean to amplify his gaze. No Spores. I made sure of that. Would have demanded we do things in a Crack in the Roots otherwise. I... Unless..."
"I connected with Him, with Dämmerung, and with a shadow of what remains of Sín. All of them are fully aware of what occurred. I couldn't have blocked them from it if I wanted to... I can distantly feel them even now, though it's just an awareness and nothing more now."
"How much?" Lynette asks carefully. "What... What did Girra learn from you?"
"My understanding of each of those present as the counterpoint to the perspectives shared about me." I answer, confidence wavering.
"And... What do you understand?" Lynette presses, eyes glazed a desaturated gray that seems to struggle to meet mine. "About me? My Doll? Your mother took some interesting guesses. But... but what are..." She hesitates, seems to need to adjust something about her jaw before asking. "What are yours?"
I grit my teeth and straighten my back to answer her with the respect she deserves. "You are Mine. You both have elements of Sun-blessed in your composition. You are my partner, my Mistress and... A hostage. To the Divine, your Doll, like all Dolls... is Dead. Unreachable to the Divine, except through me. Because... Without ever having a choice in the matter of their origin... They are Mine the way Witches are Sín's, the Sun-blessed are Girra's, and the Tzzchek are Dämmerung's. Which means that Feryudra and any other Sun-blessed Dolls exist in a split state, one half able to commune with their Divine and the other unable to be enfolded in his Regard. If he wants me to cede authority over his Dolls and bridge the connection, he doesn't get to touch you without permission."
Lynette seems to almost try and meld with the shadow of the tree she's standing under expression frozen as she absorbs my words.
A pause as I finish, and then she steps free of the pitch with such a relieved look on her face, huffing a sigh along with a cursing. "Oh. Thank the Void Cracked and Hag Riven Moon!"
Tendrils tittering a more soft thing of dread quelled and eyes settled into their triple cerulean hue.
"Apologies. I just..." She tries to say, body starting to shiver with the unburned fuel her terror brought. "I thought I ruined us all. Gave away too much and that wretched thing took a peek inside and... Empty Skies. I think we need to sit down." Then my Mistress sags against the closest tree and slips down amidst the wild growths.
As we move to sit, Adaline walks past us up to a nearby tree. Her Quills remain motionless as she begins to methodically punch her way through the tree.
Lynette winces as my Pack Sister tears at the tree’s layers. "Adaline...."
But while her words are lost to the sounds of destruction, Krahe moves to loom close behind her. Quills thrumming such a deep and rumbling series of notes that even stilled Quills can't help but hear.
An offering to channel fury and let Quills scream through motion. To run with her through the treetops. And really push their Frame's limits like she couldn't when chasing our Mistress through similar jungles
Adaline stops and leaps upwards with Krahe, dashing from tree to tree and only letting her Quills loose once she's out of sight entirely.
I sigh heavily and lean against Lynette. "I didn't think she would take that so badly."
"I would have it I'd been paying attention. Good to get this tension out here though. Clear the blood of the venom and such." Lynette murmurs in a strange tone while wrapping an arm about me. Voice more her than ever when she seemed furious and terrified. So sharp and controlled now.
"Sounds like something the Old Cunt would say. And our Adaline deserves better than that." I hear Elevar's voice bubble up after a few slowly steadying heartbeats. Tired and strained but... her grip about me is more firm and protective. "They all do. And yes I get to call you a stupid Half-Knit over this. Cracked and Riven Moon. Stupid stupid stupid. Should have asked Xafra days ago if this would be a problem! Listened to me when you starting falling all to pieces."
"They're not actually dead, you know. Either that or myself, Augusta, and all the Divines are dead too. It's really about how you define life." I meander through words. "Continuity is important in some regards, but you could easily argue that a person dies every time they go to sleep and a new person is born when they wake."
"Mhm. Yes. Death is a separation. Big or small. A reshaping of new from old. Over and over and over. What remains is what matters, until it doesn't." Elevar agrees. "Continuity is... a really good way of looking at it, although it has to be measured well to matter."
"Another is strife. To live is to... to be remolded. Endlessly. Against our will often enough. Like a bird amidst capricious summer storms." Lynette murmurs. "I think that's what the Godthing meant, by the way, when they called you that. You don't cause or bring strife, you've... endured it. And want to help others endure their hardships. And... few can claim more than the Dolls throughout our history."
It's then that I notice that Gebetsure has settled to sit and begun fishing through their bags. Eventually pulls out some kind pouch and little vial before mixing the two. Shaking it all about before leaning forward to offer me the drink. "Madam Augusta told this one to tell you to drink this and share with your Mistresses when words got loud. That's a drink that would heal the insides and such!"
I laugh while taking it from them. "So it's either alcohol or some sort of strange medicine... Actually, that's a good question. Mistresses, has anyone created magical drinks?"
"Two dips of brumble wasp honey, three parts water, one part concentrated tea mixture brewn by Madam Augusta." They chime happily while settling back to grin. "If this one remembers she had Schatzi help gather the ingredients and supplies to make sure the flavor matched what Mistress Elevar and Mistress Lynette have come to enjoy."
"Ah. Yes. Thank you Gebetsure. I think we know what this is. And... It depends on how you define magical, Xafra." Elevar replies, fingers trailing up to lace through my hair. "Much like the Resheathing Ritual, The Brewing Arts tend to involve more... mundane mixtures and ingredients. With more deliberate and concentrated control over the process. As it is an Offshoot of the Healing arts this is often kept to Curanos commissions or Brewing Vats. Although a fair many have enjoyed crafting drinks of various non-medicinal properties for more... personal enjoyment."
"Wait..." I hold up my hands and turn to face her.
"Are you saying that these Brewing Vats aren't a weird sex metaphor for pregnancy?"
"Hmm? No. Not at all. Some people prefer to have children grown from within themselves but plenty with the jade for it commission their child grown from without." Elevar replies, an amused quirk to her lips as she watches my reactions. "I'm... guessing that wasn't a thing in your time then? The option to have a Witch grow a child? Really?"
"...Love, Witches were mostly preoccupied with murdering all of us when not fighting the Sun-blessed." I say dryly.
"Well... yes. So a Curanos or some such? Like your mother? Because birthing is so.... messy. And you have to go all about with this... this little one slowly growing inside. And so many things can go wrong. Endlessly so. And that's before the actual birth itself and just..." She trails off, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Mmhm. I helped with a few births while I was with my mother, and one when I was with Kizzura."
"Cracked and Riven Moon." She sighs, such an odd tangle of emotions warbling through them both. "Yes. Brewing a child is commonplace. It's how I was brought into the world. Was how I assumed I'd have to... well, no. I assumed nothing. Parenthood was something we knew we'd never be good at without a great deal of change. Still trying to... to figure out why the Old Cunt bothered to make... me..." Then she goes stiff, glances over to me, cheeks actually flushing red as she whispers. "We're um... I suppose we... are, perhaps, going to need to be careful. From now on. When we decide to have sex. Won't we?"
"Oh! Oh. Uhm. Maybe? I don't know about this body, or how my forms may have changed. I uhm. Yeah, we should figure that out."
"Probably best to run those tests as things settle down," Lynette replies while plucking the drink from my fingers to take a gulp, then settles it back within my grip with such a smirk on her dribbling lips. "However much we despise the idea of Sikkina having any memories of being an only child, that is. Timing is important when planning births and such."
"I want to be clear that my promise stands. I'm not going to impregnate you without your express permission. That means that we do have to test, and I'm also okay with this... Brewing Vat concept of yours."
Does it involve buckets or something?
"I'm not... I know I just... She..." Elevar continues to stammer. "This... this is just so off topic."
Lynette chuckles from within, but does not press further.
"That's okay. Something to think about." I take a sip of the drink offered by Gebetsure and point to them. "I've gotta figure out how to present myself as a bloody goddess of Strife. Don't think I can avoid that without it having some sort of repercussions on me now that my... Oh. OH BLOOD AND ASHES." I startle as the realization takes hold.
"What? What is it?" Elevar asks carefully.
Gebetsure reaches into their bag, starts to fish out another vial from before before settling back to watch me with a grin.
"Repercussions. Gebetsure, you win. You'll get a temple but that's going to be some long discussions and need careful planning in regards to where." I take a swig and shake my head. "Mistress, I'm subject to the perceptions of those who believe in me. Right now it's just those who participated in the ascension and a few others on the Estate but I'm certain that's why I can't heal with magic, why I'm now flesh and blood, why I have wings. because those are things we've talked about in regards to either my desires or our understanding of the Divines. What sort of goddess can be affected by casual spellweaving after all?"
"Oh, Yes. That." They reply with an easy smile and a nod, words a mingle to gift me their agreed upon perceptions. "We hoped our talk with Dämmerung would give you more... specific advice on how to manage things. But honestly... We think you might be viewing it backways? What are the grounds of not a place where you have turned to what you dream it to be? None there may worship you like some odd sorts to a godling of weather or good harvest, but nonetheless a simple beloved word from your first Doll shaped you based on your time with her. As of now your most precious places are ones you've claimed and cultivated. There might be a need for more... focused energies though. We're not sure? Beliefs like you've told us about are not... widely practiced? At least not among the Groves. I assume the Sun-Blessed have their odd ways of doing things."
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
"The problem comes down to Wairua. I absolutely want to include my Dolls as they wish but If we make a temple on the Estate... Then the Estate itself could notice and influence me. But yes, I was thinking about perhaps a mundane village honestly. I still have recollections from Kira about a local priest which means that it's possible that religion is simply... hidden from the Groves notice. If we can make a second place that's safe, it could also be a good spot to try and integrate the Dolls with people in a healthier way. With the Folds, we can even have it at a quite far distance without being more than a moment away." Plans start to come together in my mind as I ponder and consider… "I... created a new working when you were removing the Garrote and I was ascending, didn't I?"
"You did. A twist of the Wurzelriss in spirit if not in name. But not written or logged so... we didn't think to press about the weaving. Especially when so many other laws of Ousia to physicality metrics seem to crack around you." They reply carefully. "But we'd recommend caution. To mimic that with what the Estate knows would cost us twice our wellspring. And that's with near perfect efficiency. Which means you either cracked a rule to do it or... found better numbers."
"It felt like the Slipways... but different." I muse.
"Hmmm... could be your connection to the Moon's magic then. Sympathetic bindings are a large aspect of the Folds after all." They agree. "Mayhaps overtaking old, now unused, passages between and twisting them to match your needs? Opening a pathway to an existing Fold is always easier than crafting a new one, and... well, her light does shine over all of Dämmerung."
"It's possible. With Strife as my... Dominion, I suspect that the method I used is at least in part how it can be replicated. Maybe just needing my blood?"
"We can run the numbers while we walk. Without Warden it'll occupy us enough and... keep our minds from wandering into unhealthy places." They agree and move to stand. "Verbess, dear. Will you call our Pack back if they.... if Adaline feels ready for it? No rush, of course."
"Yes Mistresses." Verbess nods from the shadow it's quietly waited within, Quills tilting from high-pitched notes of quiet observations into a deeper more widespread melody.
"Gebetsure, I'd appreciate your thoughts on all of this as well, seeing as it seems like you'll end up being my high priestess, if that's something you'd want?" I inquire as I stand as well.
"Yes Mistress. Very very very much so! But... This one is empty of understanding at the moment, but is excited to be filled up with all the things it will learn and record on this trip. Will share all the thoughts as this one has them!" They reply and move to rise with us, pausing thoughtfully before musing aloud. "Lots of new things. Or... old things that died and are being regrown. New ways of looking that aren't stuck inside a jar but also don't have those hard edges to lean against? Those are the thoughts swaying through this one. Are they acceptable?"
I bark out a laugh of genuine delight before resealing the flask. "I can see why Augusta is so fond of you already. Yes that's an acceptable beginning."
** ** **
The trip takes us the better part of five days, Adaline is still somewhat frayed by the time we arrive, but Lynette is in significantly better spirits and Gebetsure has started taking notes on our conversation as we travel, discussing plans for the future, more of my past experiences, as well as experimentation. It's during one of these tests, where Adaline is practicing the Pestherold that the Sun-blessed come across us.
We've been following a twisting Root Way above for the past three days. A perfect guide from what our Mistresses said. One that will lead us to the coast and lets our Pack look about from the beach to find the Envoys waiting for us.
And at jungles end, we step out well above the beach and rising tides.
Immediately gifted a display like I've never seen.
Out among the shoals, where life and growths normally cannot thrive amidst the rising and falling overly salty sweet waters, burst a cacophony of vibrant colorful growths. More so than even the jungles behind. And... and all swaying together under the glow of the late midday blaze.
"Well..." My Mistress murmurs, eyes narrowing as they obviously take in the sight. "That seems an obvious spot for–"
"Greetings." Is a chitter that interrupts their words.
Glance about to locate the source... and find only a trio of such strange looking crabs working together to roll over a rock to get at the now scattering bugs beneath. Each shell a twisting curled mess with multiple small holes for their little legs to poke forth, with the biggest opening for a big claw and pair of little eyestalks.
"Greetings. Greetings." They chant together while shoving at the big rock.
I reach out to uncle Girra to determine how best to interact with his people. A heartbeat passes and I nearly collapse to my knees while his Regard settles not upon me but through me, Nomos and blood flowing from my eyes as a maddened cackle tries to escape through the cage of my gritted teeth.
He adores them. Each and every single one are the most important thing in existence to Him and He's absolutely insane.
I close down the connection and let a giggle pass my lips. [They know who I am already. No sense in pretending less.] I intone as I float off the ground towards them. "Greetings, Children of Girra."
"Greetings. Greetings. Greetings." They titter and chime in a messy melody that seems in tune with their feasting, then... seem to have finished their consumption of the bugs beneath this rock and scuttle down the beach to another large stone. Begin to push and shove together all over again.
"Cracked and Riven Moon." My Mistresses sigh while moving up beside me, weaving out with Physis and finger to wipe the mess from my face while eyeing the little Sun-Blessed that have wandered off. "Are you alright?"
"Mmhm. He's much more... Exuberant than Dämmerung. I don't think I'm actually harmed at all. It seems the blood was my body washing out the Nomos that was trying to build up in my tear ducts."
"Hmmm..." They hum, then eye the not so distant vibrant shoals. Lynette bubbling up to murmur. "Be careful about that. Don't want you to get lost in His nonsense. And even if they offer spores do not imbibe them. Regardless of promises or claims or... or if you're certain that it's a good scheme in the moment."
"I can't. Girra made it clear he'd be disappointed if I tried because my Divinity will simply obliterate them."
Lynette sighs and turns their gaze to me. "Fine. Yes. I'll be... lurking. Ready if things go wrongways but otherwise quiet. Be safe, don't let yourself or Elevar do anything stupid."
Then my sense of her is gone and Elevar is taking up my fingers. "You ready to go see what kind of gaggle this uncle of yours has set to gather?”
"Definitely." I give her my brightest smile and tug her along as I float forwards.
"This is gonna get weird but I'm invested." Adaline comments.
"No doubt." Elevar agrees. "But... I feel the same? This feels a very singular opportunity. They were all pleasant when we spoke."
As we approach I can see now that stones and large shells have been placed above the water level. Creating a pathway through the shoals. And... as we walk along it's easy to spot a myriad of strange shapes twisting throughout. Fish and birds and crabs and... and all shapes. Most small and going about what we'd expect of such entities. But... Before I can ask or speak they all chime out little words like the shelled ones from before. More 'Greetings' and 'welcome' and 'hello' chimed in many different tones and voices. Some sound humanoid while others... dip into odder lilting things. As I'd expect from those who don't often speak while above the waves.
And fifteen of my Mistress' paces, we spot a familiar figure waiting.
Krelliva, dressed in a tight fitting layer of flat scaled shells of various hues. Sprinkled with odder shapes and treasures from the sea. Already grinning and waiting amidst a clearing filling with soft looking shells set about like chairs or... tables?
"Greetings! And welcome!" Voice lilting and as vibrant as the growths about us. "Can these Shells consider His gifts with you?"
I nod in amusement. "Yes. If it was two weeks ago, I'd have hesitated, but my perspective has grown."
"So we Shells, and all others considering the fresh Blaze, have heard! You seem so alight with yourself. Old shells cracked away clean and true." Krelliva agrees, voice seeming on the edge of laughter as they fall to sit back on one of those soft shells. "Unbound and unmoored and free to dance amidst the fury denied. Consider all above and beneath and betwixt!"
"Very much so." I lead our group forwards to sit down at the offered shell seats. "I know little directly about you all, yet what I do know now has assuaged most of the concerns I had prior. Hence my desire for more honest dealings in regards to my presentation." I begin casually.
"It's... Really exciting, truly! Host this in one of our drifting gardens." Laughter does bubble from those lips now, a giggle seeming to dance out and along and through everything around us. "So many seethe with jealousy at that. It's all about the blazes. Up and down. But... many won't come to say Hi until you get to ask me these first questions and such."
"That sounds quite delightful. I do have a few questions, of course, and a potential offer as well, but truthfully I'm more interested in answering some of your questions first. I don't want to come off as too overbearing or make caustic assumptions." I answer, thinking through my words.
"Oooooh... Two and a half questions first, like the sea did before we settled into it." Krelliva nods. "Seems a good start. So I'll ask the partial one first then! 'Xafra' is still the shell you choose to wear, but is it a thing cracking and chaffing in certain places?"
"Not in the slightest. It is a gift and role I embrace fondly. Not my only name, but the one I prefer. I am also known once more as Endzeit as well as now Strife, which I am... growing accustomed to."
"That's good to hear. That the shells you keep are things either comfy or filled with room to grow within." Our host agrees, then whispers very quietly. "So... the second is one I cannot ask without you finding a dozen more beneath wriggling about. But, I'll gift it to you besides so you can be ready when another demands an answer. Have thoughts bubbling and such!"
The garden about us stills, seeming to hesitate and allow the words to become even more gentle.
"What name would you ask us to place within the heart of the fury you've sparked to begin this Season's gifts? One that will crack across the Empty Lands like none have in a very very long time?"
I smile, a vicious thing of violence and anticipation. "I'll let you make that decision when we are done our talks."
At that it's like... the garden titters and giggles to match Krelliva's grin. Shadows shorten and warmth of Girra's gaze thickens in this place.
"Perfect." Krelliva whispers like one whos just shared some dark secret. Then...
In a whip crack all feels normal in the garden again. My Mistresses and Pack Sisters still are reeling a bit from the change in tones. Quills and tendrils echoing the memory of tension.
"So. Last is an entire question but... Really important? But also hard to ask without seeming rude so..." Our host huffs like one might after a long relaxing talk finally stumbling into awkward unspoken things. Garden all about rustling to match the tension. "Please don't feel pressured to actually answer. The Blaze is still a mess over you all and really really needing to understand the balances of those running about."
"Go ahead. If it's important, I will answer. I cannot promise that my answer will be satisfying though."
"Is... Are the Scales going to change again?" Is the question that tumbles from Krelliva as the waves seem to crash into the outer layer of the garden. Expression already wincing as if already unsatisfied with the words chosen. "Sorry. Sorry. Just... if it were anyone else it wouldn't matter and we'd move past like a good breeze but it is you and so... Like I said. Feel free to not answer. Just... well, the windborn muse would sing like this being customary but that barely fits here. So..."
Trails off, gives me an apologetic smile that lilts with the way the growths sway behind.
"If they wish to, they will. I will not force anything, simply offer a path forwards. Each will have to make the choice for themself." I frown slightly. "Was this a guess or did He imply something? I understand the excitement He feels but I had asked for a chance to explain and make the offer myself."
"He..." Krelliva sighs and sets lips into a pursed frown. "I think He doesn't like to muddle with those betwixt. But gets far too excited at every new tide that rolls along. Like how... this shell's parents used to watch the little ones discover small and simple new things. Doesn't like to push or change anything unless others tug Him into changing the Blaze. And most agree to not do that to avoid things getting..." Krelliva sighs, makes a motion with fingers splaying out like an explosion, eyes rolling in exasperation. "So... No one knows. Lots paddle along with their own guesses though. Some with more... Feeling, than most. They'll pester you with their hopes soon enough."
I look over at Adaline in concern before I start and she waves me off, quickly clamping herself onto our Mistresses with her head tucked into their chest.
"Alright. The Scales. Specifically the ones that were once just Dolls. You know that a significant portion of each of them is inert to His Regard?" I ask perfunctorily.
Krelliva tilts its head at that. Such a look of confusion spreading through it. Even out over the now rustling moss at our feet. "I... think there are some words of wind getting mixed up here. But that's understandable. If you're talking about an Adopted Shell, one like was helping me the last time we talked... yes. Dolls tugged into the embrace will never enjoy His full Regard like I or others do. It takes... a lot to help them feel even a little of His blaze. Which is why the windborne use them to try and kill us. Does... that makes sense? The Scales Changed aren't... like... anything to do with Dolls. Mostly."
"Oh. Then I have no idea if the Scales will change again. I don't have any plans for them currently. And I can help any Dolls that have become one of His connect to him fully."
Our host's dull scarlet eyes widen as such a grin spreads, and the garden all about us seems to chitter and shiver. "OH! Oh. Oh. oh... oh then... You... and He... OH! That's going to make so many so happy and plenty of others really upset and at least one actively wanting to bite you or... something." It titters and begins to shake with laughter. Voice now a thrumming melody that radiates Nomos. "The Shells will change. A lot! Perfect. Perfect perfect perfect perfect it's all so PERFECT!!! Thank you, daughter who bears the weight of such heavy Shells. Endzeit. Xafra. Strife. May you bask in the radiance of choices and Dreams grasped, then unmade and given new shapes."
"I do have a request though. Not in exchange. If it is declined, the offer still stands, I would not hold communion hostage."
"Of course!" Krelliva nods happily, even reaching out to touch the tips of my fingers in a motion of assurance. "Ask away. The worst I can do is say no, or let another refuse you."
"I know how far reaching the scope of all of your sight is. I wanted to know if there is..." I hesitate, terrified more of confirmation than uncertainty.
"I mean... We have to know where to look for things in the Blaze." It shrugs. "And I, personally, try to stay focused on this Shell's here and now. Avoid the bigger storms for smaller gusts. But... others like to collect and catalog and keep as much remembered as possible. So I can ask if you'd like and I don't know the answer!"
I close my eyes and with trepidation, flick my tail to extend the Quills and
All the expected replies echo back immediately.
And for such a painful span of heartbeats... nothing. No reply. Only the anxious pain of my Sisters preparing to mourn a hope lost. But... the waters around us seem to ripple with the song. Carry it farther than it could otherwise travel. Deeper too, from what it feels like.
The ocean itself endeavors to carry my calling.
Verbess moves past us. Prowling through and to the edge of this garden. Previously restrained longing kept quiet for these talks cracking free like the Quills on its back to sing.
Krahe follows Verbess after two heartbeats, Quills singing an echo to her Sister as tails twist and writhe in worry.
Krelliva doesn't interrupt. Face fallen to an anxious expression of worry as it looks between my eyes, Pack Sisters, and the sea beyond. And after what is only a dozen heartbeats, but felt like forever...
A shape appears on the horizon. And soon after a high-pitched reply tears through our Pack like the tide itself.
Verbess freezes. Frame and Quill and thoughts stilled in confusion...
"Stop."
"Um..." It stammers, fear and surprise growing across and through it and the garden around. "I've shared that now but... They aren't... Um... I don't know how to get them to listen to me and-"
My Mistress rises and narrows her triple iris glare on the threat, then growls. "Is that fool thing thinking to attack us? Here? As we sit as guests coming to discuss things under promises of peace?"
The shape on the horizon grows more defined. What seemed a large figure solidifies into...
A fin. Simply a small part of something large approaching from beneath the waves.
Krelliva swallows and stands. "Um... I'll try to use windborne words too but... I don't speak for everyone in the sea. All others who swam here all agreed to peace but this wasn't one of those that said they were coming! Wasn't even supposed to be on this side of the sea or the storms! Didn't even feel it till you did those Quill things and it started coming this way..."
"Elevar, Love. It's okay. There is nothing to fear from any of Girra's children. They are not the horrors of our memories, and I will not permit any here to come to harm." I answer calmly, staying sitting as I settle my racing heart.
Elevar eyes me, then looks out to my sister. "Verbess?"
My sister stands frozen, nearly about to crack out to full size, Quills only just now tittering a tune. "Much time has passed since these ones last felt it's sister's songs."
The shape in the water grows close enough we can make out the shadow of the shape beneath the waters. Easily as big as a Spire on the grounds, if not bigger.
"Yeah... Don't even recognize the notes there." Krahe agrees, glancing back to our Mistress and me while rising. "Back in the day we could identify each other based on one or two little bits. But this is... really different from anyone I remember. Really... muddled and messy and filled with things between each little tune."
But... this next guest does start to slow a bit. I think? More and more of a back of solid glimmering plates starting to rise above the surface. And then they split a bit at the front. Revealing a collection of eyestalks that rise to peer out and around.
Each locking on us.
Krelliva moves to stand and step between us, hands on her hips and such a glare like I've not seen set on her features.
Then this beast of the depths is at the garden's edge. It's wake rising up to send a wash of salty sweet water to gush about all our feet and sweep any smaller creatures away. Those eyes rising to easily tower over even Verbess as it cracks to near full size. Quill thrumming little things of warning.
"Greetings, Big One of the deep and more... cruel places within our shared Sea." Krelliva stomps up to glare out while shouting over the settling crash of the waves. "I trust you mean to not be stupid and consider His gifts with us in a peaceful way?"
I wait, prepared for what will come while murmuring quietly to my companions. "Gebetsure, you are to keep yourself safe if things occur. Krahe, Verbess, be prepared to extract our Mistress. Adaline, I'll need you to anchor me."
Verbess begins to click a tune of
Then this 'Big One' seems to gurgle a strange sound. Like... if a bunch of fish deciding to chuckle beneath the waves?
"I... Oh. Well that's... I guess I can..." Krelliva sighs and turns to eye us while saying. "It has no words for you all but will be listening. And is willing to allow um... well I guess the best words are... Infection To Draw Prey Close For A Feast, to share words and songs? I think that's right?"
I giggle at that, an innocent thing that I have trouble stopping until my body demands that I breathe.
In reply, it rises from the waters enough to reveal a form that has a large scaled shell with little cracks to allow flexible breaks between. They crack apart and eventually reveal dozen of mouths lined with teeth.
And from one of them something crawls free.
Takes me a moment to recognize it as a Doll. Form all twisted and woven from not wood or porcelain or stone but... a darker material. Dark maroon bone etched with endless symbols and little shards of broken gemstones throughout. Elongated with seven limbs covered with sharp talons and twitching Quills no longer than my hand all over the Frame. Each still and frozen.
A still mostly Anthroparion core though. Torso and neck and head with long braided locks that resemble hair but are obviously of some different material.
Sprawling forth onto the garden in a gush of more sea-water. Revealing everything below the waist is a long and twisting tail with fins folded close.
Eyeless gaze jerks up as Quills titter out a careful questioning tune.
Verbess and Krahe immediately chitter out their replies. But... are cautious. Obviously not immediately recognizing this one still.
Jaw cracks free to fangs only a little smaller than Verbess', the Frame shivering in such... somethings. Emotions not shared.
"Sisters..." Are the words it finally lets hiss from the Frame in a gentle sounding sigh. "This Infection does not understand. How do dead memories long broken and chipped to smallest least rusted parts stand here with it now?"
"The protection of a Warden, the care of a Witch, and the discovery of a bound and sealed Weapon who turned out to be the child of Divines." I answer.
It listens carefully. Quills tittering along with my words despite the Frame remaining perfectly still. But... it is obvious This Infection does not understand. Song quietly screams that Wardens and Witches are not ones to keep us safe.
But Verbess' own song shifting to a softer thing of understanding. And... patiently it moves to sit in front and add clarity to my songs. Weaving in little things of interest and admirations for this one who survived so long without the same help it had. Asking how this is possible.
Infection replies carefully, cautiously, and with a Quill song that is clumsy in how it seems to need to adjust itself to reply. But the message is clear. How it awoke from the battle that shattered their Pack deep beneath the waves and already changed. Saved by the Scales and given an entirely different path to survive the spreading Rust.
And without hesitation Krahe and Verbess are shifting the songs to help Infection find the notes that it has forgotten. So long beneath the waves it... had to develop new songs to wordlessly speak with the family it's found and kept and watched grow and change and enjoy His regard. Learning to hear the songs within the Blaze.
And in reply Verbess shares its song. Of Rust and Mistress and Pack found again after endless wandering. And shares the soft melody of its softer half. Then of me, a Sister who claimed it and gifted it her heart. Literally. Of our gentle Warden who is now Pack member and a new sister claimed from this age. And... and of a dream woven Sister found preserved within.
Infection's Quills are screaming in Discord at that. Confusion mixed with longing all twisted into a mess as it attempts to adjust to sit up curled within its own long and obviously not land-adjusted tail.
"This... You are of the Pack." It whispers softly through fangs, all those arms curling tight about itself. "But... But it does not remember itself from within. Only that it was. And... that it is no longer that Frame. Even the memories are like clumsy etchings on a stone. Long cracked and faded by the tides. And it... it is sorry. That it struggles to sing like it once must have. Like you all do."
I rise to my feet and walk to it, kneeling down before this long lost kin. "There is no need for apologies. What would you like? There is no rush to decide or any obligation to stick with the choices. I can unlock your ability to fully connect with Girra like your family, grant you the ability to shift your frame at whim, and either reforge or remove your Pack bond as you wish. These offerings are the least of what I owe to you as your progenitor."
Adaline chitters softly mentioning "Warden has all the Pack memories preserved up to the point of its last contact with them. They could be regifted as well."
"It..." Infection looks up, still unable to see but... Quill-Song granting it near perfect understanding of where each of us are.
But then such a gurgling burps up from the waves behind, and it shivers as the one that bore it here gurgles something no others here understand. "Despite the pain, it is encouraged to seek that which was lost. To understand the Pack that is. And return with songs to share with the other Deep Ones. But... This is not something this Frame can do with ease. And it has not considered motion on land in a long time. But to feel the Blaze as its clutch does would be... much desired."
I open the gate I can feel within, Embracing Strife to connect the living spores with inert Frame as my eyes Blaze with His Regard and this once-lost Packmate is granted access to its Divine.
"Then let us start with that. We will be here for days yet, and will be overjoyed to meet with you again if you choose."
Infection shivers and trembles as I finish. Quills still though, only sparking up to motion as such a strange song titters forth from it. Through these Quills that sing with sudden sparked joy at…
Something almost familiar.... Not the Vast but instead the deep dark, coursing with alien forms and echoes of navigation songs and so very many Sun-blessed all connected through form and spirit suddenly capable of noticing... Me.
I jolt to my feet and stumble, trying to float in the air and failing before being caught by Adaline. "Sorry. I'm... tired."
Why am I so tired?
"Gifting too much of yourself without hesitation we see." My Mistress chuckle gently. Moving to help scoop me upright. "I think... We'll let Verbess and Krahe see about conversing with these ones. If you won't take offense to the act, Krelliva?"
"Not at all." Our host replies with a grin I can feel. "Everyone else will be happy to wait to meet you all as you're ready."
"Wonderful." They reply, then murmur past me. "Adaline, would you be interested in helping me get a little campsite set up well above these rising tides? Gebetsure, you can join us or remain here as you please, of course. We'd not want to get in the way of your studies."
"Certainly. Rest seems to be in order for our oldest and most inexperienced love."
“Yes ma'am, thank you. This one will wait here and speak with Krelliva and ask questions. Then will come up later with more of the drink Madam Augusta insists you both imbibe."
With that Elevar scoops me up in her arms, gives a few final murmurs of approvals to Verbess and Krahe as they sit with Infection, and begins to carry me up the slope with Adaline at her side.
"So... Wife. What did I miss there?" Elevar asks after a dozen paces. "In the Quill songs I mean."
"There's a lot of those deep water things. almost uncountable. This Infection doll just gained a connection to all of them like how Xafra connects all of her Dolls together, but it seems like... there's probably different kinds of spores? Xafra can probably adjust it further to be receptive to the rest and connect to all of the Sun-blessed, living and dead. Which is wild to hear, by the way. The dead are not dead, just disembodied, carried between forms like Krahe was before we made hers." Adaline starts explaining with fascination.
"That... would explain why they hold nothing but adorations for our Xafra. And mostly careful annoyance at the Groves and Threshers nonsense." Is her reply. "Even those she killed didn't actually die. Mayhaps lost a favored vessel but nothing more. That is endlessly..."
But Elevar trails off, such a thoughtful expression on her face. One tinted with worry and confusion pointed inward. And from the bond its easy to now feel the roiling maelstrom that is Lynette seething inside them. Wordless and furious and fighting to keep herself as small as possible, but... struggling.
"It should be fine, Mistresses. At this point, I find it unlikely that much could upset them enough to come to blows." Adaline reassures them as I wriggle gently in their arms.
For the bond we all easily feel Lynette do something akin to huffing and putting more effort into calming herself.
"I agree." Elevar nods while we top the slope and she peers about for a clear spot to camp. Then rotates a few fingers and uses her Blasenplage to gently brush an spot devoid of growths to a perfectly flat area. "Shouldn't let past notions rule our perspectives. They seem kind and excited to receive us. And we've met barely a handful."
"I think a good nap would be nice and then we can um.... Figure out what we can get in regards to help for the war effort and protecting refugees." I mumble sleepily.