A Song of Flesh (Witch)

Content Warning:

Graphic depictions of pain and surgical removal of a bone. Love/addiction to pain in an almost sexual way. VERY angry Witch and grabbing not-persons by the fangs to shout at them. Quill-Song things. Panic attacks after shouting.

My Xafra, my enthralling partner and seemingly invincible blade… is soaking naked in mud she insists is an alchemical brew the likes of which my mentor could only barely match.

I had to bite my tongue all the way up until I found out that the fool gerl held no embarrassment at the muck she sat in, but in the possible need to have one of my old mentor’s gerls handle substances she thought might be too deadly for her or my Doll.

Couldn’t stop a laugh that I hope so dearly she thinks only pertains to the irony that Verbess had already done just this.

“Not my most intelligent indulgence but… nor is it a thing I regret.” I sigh after she’s done cackling and sputtering up some mud she’s inhaled. Cheeks so cutely tinted red as she settles. And… then I’m missing so dearly the days I could freely enjoy such dalliances of violent fancy on a whim. Still more than a bit annoyed at my own stupidity ending our first time together.

Will have to make up for that if Xafra can actually do this and is still willing, and possibly even in that delightfully enthralling Warlord’s Form she’s woven. But after that… I’m not sure. I mean to gift her both the knowledge and spells to weave her own wards against a Witch Tone. Of course. But…

Xafra’s past words of affection blaze through my mind like the most blighted piece of the same Moonwaste.

Elevar, sweetheart…

Consider whose footsteps you follow in, my love…

I love you, Mistress Elevar.

And another’s, long dead and rotting and only real in memory and the Night Terrors that so often follow them…

Such fire in those pretty cerulean eyes! I want to see it blaze up to spite me like nothing’s done in decades…

If I’m being honest, Lynette, you've been my obsession since you bumbled into my Estate. Filled with naught but inspiration, fury, and…

Never again will you weave magic, my love.

I only realize how long I’ve been sitting quietly when Xafra speaks up, "So. Uhm. Uhhh. If you are willing to have Verbess extract the rib for me, we can do the surgery as early as tomorrow. But... there's… Not a catch, just two things you should be aware of first."

I very nearly fall off the little stool at her words.

Free from the Soul Rot tomorrow. I… I assumed there would be weeks of research and… and preparation then trials and tests!

{Verbess, dear. Please come to Xafra’s Spire.} I intone to my Doll to distract from the spiral, then turn back to Xafra. “Go on?”

"I'm… going to look like you. I'll shift back as soon as I can. Of course, it's unacceptable to impersonate one's master, I know. But I didn't want you to be surprised. And..." She sighs heavily. "I was planning on keeping this from you, but it's not fair, you deserve full disclosure."

Like me? And... I mean I can understand why her partners or 'masters' might take issue with her stealing their identity but... why does this worry her so much? My discomfort is nothing compared to what she's offering!

A hitch of worry roils regardless but… I don’t let it leak through our bond, of course. “That… makes sense. Actually. It’ll be odd. To be sure. But honestly nothing to worry over unless you wanted to keep it. Then… Well, honestly I’d get over it. Not like I mean to keep my form as it is.” I reach out to touch the hand closest to mine. “And this second thing?”

"My humanoid form is going to be entirely out of commission after the procedure until I can refill on Ousia and be put back into this solution. I would… ask that you not watch the repair process, or the aftermath of the procedure unless..." She winces. "I'm worried you'll be disgusted by me."

“Ah…” Pausing intentionally, I ensure nothing but empathetic regard can roll down the tether. “You can rest assured that I won’t be disgusted by you. The worst you’ll feel from our bond is enthralled curiosity if I can’t restrain my interest. If my presence can help you, in any way, know you’ll find nothing but support and adorations. I... understand what it is to feel a bodily mess in front of... of someone you care for.”

She sighs and seems to calm a bit at those words. "You're so good to me. I don't understand it at all, but I'm going to do my best to be worthy of you."

A surge of panic has words dribbling from my mouth before I can stop them and fingers squeezing her tighter than I would otherwise do. “Don’t… Xafra please don’t walk down that path. You shouldn’t… you… It’s not worth it. Be worthy of yourself, of the person you want to be. And if you’re lucky enough to stumble into people who delight in that, hold them close, but don’t you dare break yourself into something for them or me. Never again.”

Xafra looks at me with such empathy at the words left unspoken. "I understand. I'm going to do my best at being myself, I just…" she switches to our bond, unable to voice the words. [I need to prove, to myself most of all, that I'm not a parasite, I'm a person and I can be of use.]

{What?} I have to restrain a sudden burst of mirth at that, but... then think better of it and let a little trickle through to show my honest feelings on this. Sudden and disbelieving humor tinted with annoyance aimed past her. {A parasite? Because… I mean. I guess I can understand how your skills with Ousia manipulation might have led to some claiming that. But… Cracked and Riven Moon, is that such a foolish perspective! By your very nature you are symbiotic and supportive. Everything you’ve asked for has come after offering more than any of your partners could hope to match.}

[One of my wielders once said that a symbiote is just a parasite with a good reputation, and… That by my very nature I prevent others from reaching their afterlife. It didn't stop her from using my abilities, but... she made it clear that it was my fault for enabling her. That...] Xafra cuts off again.

{Well… She sounds delightfully stupid, if you’ll pardon my judgments of the dead and rotted. By that logic we’re all some degree of this.} I pause as the outer entrance splits and my Doll arrives. {So… Like all the other people I’ve dealt with, it's by choice and outside perceptions. Right? Because if it's some innate trait then… Well, you're the most lacking of the needed markers.}

“Mistress?” Verbess purrs as she stops to stand before us, jaw teasing between splitting to show fangs or remaining in the shapes Schatzi prefers.

I Cant ::Wait:: to my Doll. Meaning to start resolving this harmful thought path here and now, if I can.

Xafra goes a bit stiff and replies. [Understood. I'll focus on that once you're cured.]

That’s… odd. But I shouldn’t push her. The perceptions of loved ones do tend to sink deep, and trying to rip them out in a single go is near impossible. Hopefully this’ll birth some kinder wisps to listen to in her Driftdream though.

I nod, then turn to regard my Doll. “Xafra says she can cure me tomorrow, but needs a rib of mine first.”

Verbess roils at that, so much that even it can’t stop the subtle shiftings its learned to suppress while awake with its sister.

I performatively sigh and gaze up and away. “That means we need a Doll with a talent for precision and dissection. Hopefully who won’t mind getting an old Witch’s blood on them. Do you know of any like that on this Estate?”

Verbess pauses, caught between incredibly obvious longing and uncertainty. “This one knows of only one Frame with the tools and temperament for this function.”

I can’t help but smirk at this one’s thrumming hope and hungers. “Oh? Then you should go get it. We don’t want to delay this, I think.”

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

It does not move, only click-clacks talons and fangs free while only just keeping Quills stowed so as to not rip the nice outfit Schatzi chose for them. “It… yes. Mistress.”

I let my eyes roll back to it, moving up and down the still Frame before nodding with approval. “I always can count on you for the more… messy work. I suppose. And you have been such a good gerl and worked well with our dear Schatzi these past days…”

Then I rise and approach it, letting myself walk a circle about it. “But, this isn’t a dalliance of passing fancy. This is about extraction and transference. You can’t get distracted. No cracking things aside from the target, no drinking the marrow. I’ll be weaving to stop the worst of this but I won’t have you making my work harder.”

“Yes Mistress.” It purrs.

I stop and turn to regard Xafra, reaching up to begin removing my blouse. “Any specific way Verbess will need to cut or handle the rib?”

"Not particularly. One of the floating ribs at the bottom are best, due to ease of healing the wound. It's best if you are as healthy as possible for tomorrow, as it's going to take all four of us to get it done safely and efficiently... My apologies, Primrose, I don't mean to exclude you, but I don't know your skills quite enough to include you in something so delicate."

“No, I understand Mistress Xafra!” Primrose chimes from beside and behind me. “This one is better for other things, but will be glad to try and help out in any way you need.”

Such a good gerl. Thank the Dead Hag Xafra and Verbess stumbled into one of the softer things my mentor crafted.

I slip off the top and glance over to one of the large overly soft cushions. “Primrose, if you could be a dear and fetch that to sit right next to Xafra?”

She complies without hesitation, and then I’m moving to try and settle on the uncomfy mess.

“Always preferred something sturdier. But I doubt my legs will work well for a bit after this.” I complain half-heartedly as I lean back to rest my upper back and head on the side of Xafra’s pool. “ I doubt I'll lose consciousness but... if I do, would you mind terribly pulling me into your Driftdream? Even if it seems it'll only last a moment?”

"Certainly. Whenever you'd like." Xafra replies without hesitation.

Which settles my nerves more than she probably will ever know. The dreamless sleep she’s gifted me these past days has been a better balm to my mind. Helped keep head clear and thoughts crisp.

“Alright, Verbess.” I give my Doll a wicked smirk as I settle into an old familiar focus. “Bottom left, no fooling about but… don’t feel a need to rush.”

It stiffens a bit at that, and… yeah. Now the Quills slice free and thrum a bit. But… then it pauses the song it chimes while kneeling before me.

“It… It can be quick.” Verbess murmurs. “Remove the bone in less than two heartbeats. Reduce risk and…”

But it trails off as my hand drifts up to cup the out jaw of those marvelous fangs. “Of course you can. But… if you’d rather take twice that then I’ll allow it. You’ve been a good gerl this past week and I’m willing to gift you this for that.”

Quills nearly scream in ravenous anticipation as it can only rasp. “Thank you, Mistress.”

“Go when ready, my Verbess.” I purr while bracing my joints and muscles to ensure they don’t buck when this one starts.

Pain… is an odd lover of mine. I didn’t taste her lips until meeting my teacher but… she’s been gnashing at my heels since I was very young. And as my Doll lunges forward, jaws unhinging further as fangs twist into wonderfully dexterous shapes… I can’t help but consider her regard for me as that first heartbeat thumps in tune with Verbess’s fangs.

I’ve met threshers who’ve woven things of numbing and even removal of pain from their bodies. Which… I can only understand in the way I understand that some fools like their tea sweetened to the point that they might as well chomp down on the cubes and do away with the water and leaves! With annoyed pity. The human form is such a marvelous thing, and our ability to feel such depths of pain is… is honestly a bit ridiculous! Wonderful once you learn to manage it well and bask in its depths.

My… my teacher showed me that. Long nights of ripping and tearing and clawing and re-knitting my flesh and form. Slowly but… insistently introducing me to the beloved she’d found in her pursuit of a p–

The thought is riven away as the second heartbeat hits and my mind gulps down the first rush of agony.

I’m able to keep everything still but… enjoy such warmth rushing through me as I feel my Doll’s teeth slide about and around the bone. Repressing what would either be a howling wail or a moaning snarl as the third heartbeat cracks alongside the rib.

Through the bond, a fierce lust and envy sings from Xafra at the sight.

I can’t stop it, not at the twin pleasures of feeling that and this flood of delicious pain. My gasp finally happens as my Doll pulls it free. On reflex I twist fingers, will, and Physis to begin sealing the adjacent bones and veins and flesh but… don’t touch the nerves.

Let them sing a bit.

Darkness gathers around the edge of my sight as Verbess pulls back to regard me. Eyes locked on mine as she searches for…

{I’ve got a handle on myself.} I intone through the bond to both it and Xafra. Able to move but… suddenly comfortable in my slumped position.

It nods and moves up and over me, bloody bone deftly and carefully braced between those lovely fangs. [Where would you like this, Old Parasite?]

As Xafra reaches for the rib, she flinches before responding, "I'll take it now. Thank you."

Old… What? Why did it call her that?

Other words are spoken, but… my mind latches onto that. And a memory stirs. Of a little Wisp of dwindling thought dancing through my Xafra’s Driftdream. Whispering that same voice saying the same words.

And the pain I was so very much enjoying turns rotten, then spoils. Then rises up like nothing I’ve felt in a year as I realize why my blade might so suddenly feel that word spike true in her mind and hear.

It is probably a very good thing Verbess already handed off the bone to Xafra, it would have probably been knocked free as my hand darts up and into my Doll’s mouth. Gripping the fangless flank and jerking it down to meet my gaze while I hiss, “What did you just call her!?!”

The room goes quiet as the pain jolts and flares and rips through me. Tearing thought and restraint and leaving nothing but the spoiled filth of a Witch’s wroth to boil down the tether.

Verbess is beyond words with fear, unable to answer, and such a thing is easy to read in the Frame’s eyes and fluttering Quill-Song. Even if all I feel from the bond is my own foul anger and pain and impending threats.

“Answer. Me. Doll.” I demand in a rasping growl that sounds too much like old flesh. But absolutely laden with the full force of my Tone.

“O– old Pa– Parasite.” Verbess stammers like I’ve never heard it do.

Not even on that first night she woke up and we almost killed each other.

“Why, do tell…” I hiss, dragging myself up while tilting my Doll’s head beneath my gaze. Drunk on soured pain pleasure and such a horrid delight in seeing this one cower like I never thought I could make it do. “Is that a–”

Such an odd sound jolts me from my words. Not… I’m still roiling in anger but can’t help but turn and see…

Xafra, sitting bolt upright in the tub, my rib shoved halfway down her throat as her eyes are wide betwixt… things. Things I can’t feel because I’m bleeding fury unending down the tether both ways.

Stupid gerlthing. She’s feeling this too!

With a not so small effort I struggle to strangle my end of the tether like I’ve been practicing.

“I… Xafra I’m so sorry.” I rasp, voice broken and messy and horrid.

She closes her eyes and… well of course. Needs to devote herself to swallowing the big thing.

Cracked and Riven Moon if I wasn’t pain and fury drunk and needing to see to my fool of a Doll I’d attempt to draw this gerlthing into–

[Please.] Xafra intones softly while a little cough escapes her lips. [Verbess has been kind. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to be a bother.]

Deep Breath, keep that tether smothered. Don’t muddle this. Focus. Just like holding your breath when the old cunt needed you steady for the work.

And so I turn back to my cowering Doll. Take a long few glowering heartbeats to consider it. Every one a thumping mess of soured rot and annoyance and not all of it aimed at my foolish Doll.

“Schatzi, dear.” I whisper, untrusting of myself to not bathe anything I might send down the tether with more of my nonsense as I release their jaw and withdraw my hand. “Are you all right?”

"Yes, Mistress", Its voice comes out muffled and hollow, devoid of emotions.

Of course it’s not ‘alright’, you stupid half-knit.

I huff, pulling back fully from them and taking another calming breath. Still so furious, but in almost equal parts now. Half for my fool of a Doll and half at myself.

“M– Mistress.” Comes such a quiet whisper from the frame. So soft that for a second I think it is Schatzi who speaks. But… no. Verbess fights through such stammering to murmur. “I… Th– this one i– is sorry.”

That… cracks it. Pops the rage and sets it to dissolving and leaving nothing but self-loathing and hatred. Forcing me to squeeze this damn tether ever tighter to keep my own mess of emotions from slipping out.

“It… it is d– defective. R– r– r– rusting.” My Doll’s arms split into four and Quills writhe in loud discord to its quieting voice. “Pl– ”

My heart hitches as I prepare for that old demand and request but… it surprises me. Asks an altogether new question I never thought to hear from this half’s fangs.

“Pl– pl– please… Don’t t– take th– this one’s n– name.” It pleads, and any words it might have fall into nothing as such a shrill tune dances from its back.

“Never! Verbess, It’s not–” I jolt up in a sudden motion that, of course, sets my chest to throbbing. And I have to fall back in a huff against the tub and spin more healing before continuing. “This… Calling Xafra that was, IS, unacceptable. As bad as… as anything the old cunt called us. I’ve no idea why you thought of her in that way.”

That… helps it calm a bit, causes it to peek back up at me. “It… th– thought she was j– just using you. A– at first. N– needed her to know It saw that. W– was cautious until th– the jungles.”

“And now?” I demand as softly as I can.

Verbess shakes the frame’s everything in negation, but… its voice does steady more. “No. No. Her function is to protect and harmonize with others.”

“Then why keep calling her that?” I press.

Verbess goes quiet for a long time. Quills twitching and flitting about in what’s taken me years to know as thoughtful discord. How a human might purse their lips or hum while considering a question.

I take a deep breath, focus a bit more on the spell. “So long as you know to never call her that, or anything she does not expressly request, I’ll let you think on this. Tell me and her later.”

Verbess droops a bit in relief, then hesitates. “Does… C– can this one…”

Looks past me.

I tilt my head backwards. “Go on.”

It quiets and resets the Quills into a more… harmonic rhythm. “Xafra. This one wishes to apologize. That… that name is not befitting you.”

Xafra surges out of the muck and slams into Verbess, actually knocking my normally stable Doll into the wooden floor in a sprawling embrace. "No! Not defective. Kin. Mistress' Doll. Little Monster that I'm so very jealous of. Not Defective!"

After only a heartbeat, Verbess has wrapped all four limbs around Xafra. Returning her embrace with everything it can, even wrapping fangs around a shoulder and gnawing gently. And from my Doll does such a buzzing song like I’ve never heard before thrum. The melody and nature are a tune that I… I swear I recognize. Maybe it’s the mess of pain and horrid fury that still boils my gut but… I can’t place it.

“It… it is…” Verbess murmurs quietly into flesh it gnaws at. “Broken, rusting, defective. But… but it wants to NOT be. Hungers for… for…”

And then I place the song. Or... at least it's opposite. This is the thing it sings at its lowest. A cry for the pack it lost and will never find again.

"Better together. Help each other." Xafra mumbles as she extends her quill crown and clumsily, amateurishly, tries to join in with Verbess' song.

Another hitch in my heart, and… and I worry my Doll will close itself off. Hiss in fury like it always had when it hears another try and match or mimic the Songs it plays but… No. It only slows. Carefully and more gently than ever silencing a few Quills so the tune is less complex.

Easier for Xafra to harmonize with.

Letting this gerlthing learn a melody I’ve never heard Verbess play. That… that perhaps it hasn’t done since it roved with the set of Dolls it was crafted to sing with.

Xafra doesn't learn very quickly, but… manages to steadily improve, all while accommodating Verbess' every movement and entwining themselves even closer together.

[Mistress.] Schatzi reaches out to me privately, [I'm afraid this dress is ruined.]