Haunting, Haunted, Haunts

Content Warnins:

Bone shrines and non-person suffering from dementia and delusions and then someone gets punched! Woops! 5k word chapter. Also woops! Panic attacks and talks of mental control via magic things and trauma and past abuse.

One good passing notion of stupidity deserves another… Is the thought that titters through me while striding toward the Spire with ruined dress, needle, and thread in hand. Eventually even gathering the courage to look up to see if…

It's watching. Of course. Gazing down in... in naked curiosity at the very least. There are strange happenings and stranger sorts about the Estate. I should have expected it to rouse at the echoes of the old cunt’s demands. Watching, even if the Spire won’t let it leave.

Deep breath, old gerl. You owe this one your time, especially if… if tomorrow goes poorly. You can do this.

The prick of the vines doesn't even send a flutter through me as the entrance shifts to let me enter my old mentor and lover's Spire. I mean… they were all hers. Everything here bending into shapes she willed them. But this Spire was the heart of it all. Where she worked on and considered all her most treasured projects.

That’s… that’s probably why she never liked me to sleep in my own gifted Spire after that first time she drew me into her bed. No matter how deep into research, for her or myself, I was. She was always so cutely sour when she found me curled up alone or with my Doll.

Feet stop moving as I freeze just a pace or two in. I always expect to find a layer of dust here. Thick coats over all the tables and half-finished sculptures and other such nonsense the old cunt regarded at only her passing whims. But… No. Always spotless. These lower chambers vast and sprawling in a messy but defined chaos as things progressed toward the winding stairwell at the back. And... Oh Cracked and Riven Moon the smell is perfect and wonderful and wretched and filling me with everything she said and all the things we built here.

My thoughts are interrupted by the soft sounds of footfalls that proceed a Doll descending the far steps.

"Wife Lynette, Mistress told me you were coming tonight. I'm so glad to see you remembered your way home." It looks the picture of elegance as it strides across the room, stopping exactly a pace and a half from me. "Your toy caused me no small amount of trouble while you were off gallivanting around. You really should teach it better manners."

“A– apologies. Connivant Adaline.” I finally say past the lump in my throat, and whisper that name I’d never let myself speak, save in moments of incredible desperation or… or desire. Which... causes me to wonder if that was due to the old cunt's wretched implant Xafra tore out or just my own roiling hatred at the love I feel for this one. The only Doll my old Teacher named. “I… I’ll see to that. But, I came to speak with you tonight, if you’re willing. I… I know I was quite horrid the last time we spoke and…”

"All water under the Roots, love. Mistress and I spoke much after I found her again. She says she forgives you and understands. I don't, honestly. but it is a Connivant’s duty to accept even what we don't understand." It tilts its head at an uncanny angle and looks back up the stairs. "She's waiting for you. Would you be willing to talk to her again, for me?"

I flinch at this old pantomime, the ravings of a Doll broken by the Garrote and left to wither and rust away in a Spire that won't let it go. Only... only old Nightmares as company. "I..."

Oh how I would tear into it with my Tone for this. Trying so hard to break delusion and force understanding into the Frame. Refusing to, even for a second, indulge in the brief concept that the old cunt might still be-

"Perhaps." I reply like I've never done and give this one a contemplative smile while raising up the dress. "But... First we need to talk about some things, and I'd like your help trying to salvage this, if it can be done. You were always better with needles and thread than I was."

"Certainly. It's not like she's going anywhere after you killed her." The statement is outrageous and worrying in equal measure, even before she continues…

"It was a lot of work getting the others to assist me without letting them know what exactly they were digging up for me. But… needs must. Now, would you be so kind as to use your finger waggling to remove the mud so we can see what we're working with?" It crosses the room to a table where it pulls a sewing set out of a drawer and sits down primly.

“W- wait? The bones?” I stammer. “You… you had them… Th– they’re…”

Any other night I’d be filled with rage, and boil this stupid Doll in wrothful Tone for that. But tonight…? I don’t have any anger left. Just weary guilt at all the mistakes I just can’t stop making. On reflex more than forethought I reach out and steady myself against the nearest table else fall as the room seems to shift a bit beneath my feet. All my focus on the tether I have to strangle else drown those precious souls linked to mine.

"Mmhm! She was whispering to me, you see. Was quite annoyed that such a 'Defective toy from defective stock would dare to Desecrate' her. But! Now you've brought her voice back." I look up to find It giving me the most brilliant and hopeful smile. "I heard it a few days ago. You could... speak to her. Ask her to let me leave with you. Oh, what a cruel Mistress, to task me with your care, but prevent me from following you."

“I… Doll, I… I’ve tried…” I rasp, more to myself than it, honestly. “Endlessly. I… Everything I could think of. Even wandered into some deeper chambers that almost killed me. I can’t… can’t get this wretched place to let you go!”

"Wife Lynette, it's okay, you brought her voice back. I saw your toy using it on one of the others. So it will work this time." Adaline rises and moves to embrace me, so tight like I’ve not let her do in years.

I go stiff in her arms. Xafra lied to me? She didn’t use ancient techniques or the blessings of dirt gods or… or anything like that! She dredged up the Tone she stole from my body, touched with the Ousia laden within to… To do what I never could, but should have tried!

"Little Lynne,” The Doll murmurs softly while petting my hair.

Tighter, stupid gerl. Keep that tether still. This one would never hurt you, not… not intentionally. It literally can’t do anything but use those old names. And… and from those lips you can almost enjoy it. Even... even fall into considering what you gave up the day you burned the Garrote and its weaver clean of this very Spire.

Adaline continues to purr softly. “It's okay, you're safe. I promise."

It’s brilliant, actually. Mimicry of another’s tone is… a useless and quite vile talent. Only a few practise it, and mostly for unsavory reasons. Doll snatching and such. But… even then it often takes too much time to be worth it.

And for this place you need the Ousia signature. Of course. But Xafra already confirmed that she used that. Empty Skies… am I such a fool.

“Alright.” I whisper, and let myself lean into its touch, even reach around to return the hug. “I’ll… I’ll speak to her. For you. And… and afterwards… we'll get you out of here.”

"Thank you, Wife Lynette!” She exclaims with such delight. Then, with the slightest of effort, Adaline picks me up in its arms and carries me slowly up the stairs, like… like it used to so long ago. “She told me that there's only a little more to be done before she can move on as well. She mentioned the... Undercroft needing your special touch."

I repress flailing instincts and settle into Adaline’s arms. Considering all the nonsense this broken gerlthing could have deluded itself into thinking was demanded by the dead.

“We… I’ll ask.” I murmur into the chest it pulls me into. Careful to keep the path ahead hidden from my gaze. “But… First I wanted to talk with you. If we could… could pause here? I’m not sure my nerves are going to hold up well once you take me up there.”

"Of course. Take as long as you need." Focused on my comfort, it leans back against the stairwell, still holding me tight.

“I… I don’t know if you remember the promise I made to you. Roughly… ten years back?” I start with a whisper. “That… that after I got all my affairs settled and Doll delivered I… I’d come back to you. Give you my last weeks?”

"Oh." It stills for a moment. "I'll get my affairs in order as well then. I'm coming with you of course. But... My Wife, even if I don't particularly like your toy, I think this is an unkindness. It deserves better than being left behind. Unless it's joining us as well?"

I flinch at that, at… at the thought of ruining all these years of hard work to help those gerls grow and heal just… wasted! Their and my efforts tossed aside in some grim nonsense!

“No! No, that won’t be necessary.” I speak with a hint of panic, then settle. “They… Look. Adaline, I think I’ve found someone who can cure me. Remove the Soul Rot and… and gift me more than that. She… I found her in my last trip. A venture to an old Archive mentioned in one of Yselda’s maps to try and determine if this really was… well it doesn’t matter!” I huff and pull back, reaching up to touch its cheek. “Point is, we’re trying tomorrow. If it works… well… things are going to change. And… and regardless this gerlthing also seems to handle all the old cunt’s Dolls well. Can help them grow past this place. I… I want that for you. Mean to ask her to take a look and see about healing the old scars I left.”

It nods, "Good. I'm looking forward to having you more like me. It's been painful, feeling like a part of me is missing. I look forward to meeting this mystery benefactor." It squeezes me once more, reassuringly, "I forgive you, you know. How could I not?"

I wince. “N– no. You… She’s… I’m not going to become a Doll, Adaline. She… Xafra’s figured out what causes the illness. Moonwaste in the bones, apparently. A small enough amount that It can be endured but… was still slowly killing us.”

A pause, and suddenly Adaline It sets me down, then abruptly pulls out a heavily wrinkled and creased scroll from its apron before holding it down to me. "That reminds me. A letter came for you while you were out. The Mistress says it's very important you read it right away."

I can only just stare up at it, a bit disheveled by this sudden shift and parchment settled into my hands. I… I mean I guess this can happen. Most people trying to reach the Old Cunt send envoys and don't bother with letters. But... which Doll was trusted to go out and pick it up? Or did someone wander outside the Root Path and toss it over the wall to avoid the wards that might trigger?

“Alright.” I murmur, opening the letter to read the…

Dear Elevar,

I hated you at first. You ruined our happy ending.

Even through the garrote making me love you inside and out. I found a nugget of hatred for you.

But... it's been three years since you've left, hopefully for good for your own sake. I've come to understand why you did it. What it would have costed you. What that bitch took from me.

I found a way out, I think. I've made a decision, a risky one, an unreasonable one, but it's the only way I can even write this. I've decided to go mad. I got the idea from your own doll the week after you did it. So thank it, for me.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

I need you to know that I still love you, and I forgive you.

If you read this, I should be long dead. If not, if I'm still delusional…

Free me. Please. Regardless of what it will cost me. I need my mind to be my own again. You owe me that, if nothing else.

Your blue Butterfly,

Adaline.

I jerk up to find Adaline just… looking down at me curiously, her four piercing blue eyes beginning to water, completely at odds with her expression and posture. "I can't remember where it came from, but the Mistress said I had to give it to you as soon as I could."

Cracked and… and… No. Tighter still. Only let the words through. {X– Xafra? Dear?}

As I rise my fingers entwine through Adaline’s like I’ve not done in… in too long. “It… Yes. Your timing is perfect. As always. It seems… ”

[Yes, Mistress?] Her response is immediate.

No crying, you stupid Half-Knit. Not a drop.

“I… I'm going to speak with her alone. That’s what the… what Yselda would have wanted.” I say with all the confidence of the most ravenous Summer Storm. The Old Cunt's name ripping through my mind but... hopefully setting this Doll into trusting motions.

{Can you have Primrose show you to Yselda’s Spire please?}

[Yes, Ma'am.] Xafra answers after a moment.

"Of course." Adaline pulls free of my hand and heads down and sits at the table, takes up needle and thread to begin working on the dress. “Second door, at the top of the stairs.”

I nod, careful to keep my everything stilled and dead. “And the Undercroft you mentioned? What should I expect down there?”

"The Undercroft? Oh dear. It's so very dirty down there and filled with creepy crawlers,” She sighs, eyes not even leaving the dress she inspects. “I had to tell the others to seal it shut after one of the Dolls got hurt. Mistress' orders, of course."

“Hurt? Hurt how? Adaline what… What happened?” I press. “And what do you mean ‘seal it shut’? Did something get loose?”

It turns and stares at me, unblinking. "I had to have an item retrieved from there. Since your toy put it down there. When the first Doll didn't come back, I sent three. They found the item... and what was left of the Doll. Mistress insisted that this was of course unacceptable destruction of property, so the undercroft had to be sealed."

“My… My Doll? Why was it…” I shake my head, “What item?”

"It's upstairs with the Mistress. You can ask her yourself." The stare continues like she's trying to convey something, but can't do so.

So I nod. “Alright. I’ll… You wait here.”

Turning, and gripping the tether as tight as I think is safe, I move up the steps. Following her instructions and… But wait. Second door? It said second, I recall that but…

This is a closet.

Why… I mean I was expecting some grim shrine or some such laid out upstairs but... No. Doesn't matter. The flights of fancy of a broken Doll aren't things to ponder right now. stupid gerl.

Deep breath, brace for the worst. And I open the door.

This reveals… something. Not until I turn on one of the lights do I see what it did with that cunt. A poppet of dried scorpion grass and goldflower interwoven with bones. Femurs for legs, and humeri for arms, and attached to the head, her jawbone. The thing is entirely devoid of Ousia, Physis, or any sort of weaving whatsoever, the bones clearly cleaned, hollowed and preserved before being used in such an unsettling manner.

It’s… well this is… Well at least it's tasteful!

“Cracked and Riven Moon.” I sigh and settle before the nonsense thing, whispering as I double check the tether. “At least you cleaned them, silly gerl. Not sure I could take the smell of rot right now.”

[Mistress Elevar, we are at the entrance.] Xafra says along the bond, nearly causing me to flinch.

{That was quick. I… Yes. Give me a moment.} I intone back as carefully as possible. {Apologies for rousing you at such an hour. I just… I needed to ask you a few things. Get your perspective on one of the cunt’s Dolls and… something else.}

[Of course, Mistress Elevar, it is my duty and pleasure to come when you call.]

The following snort causes my grip on the tether to slip. Just a touch but… enough to make me worry what Xafra might feel. So I gift her something else to consider. {While I do this I’d like you to, without actually interacting with anything, tell me what you feel when you're on these grounds. And standing before this Spire. Ousia and Physis. Wards and such. You… Well if we are very clever you might be able to aid in some things I’d not really thought possible.}

[The grounds in general? It's… barren aside from the lingering weaves. The Spire though, I can get in. It has your mentor's signature which is. Well. mine now, technically. The way the wards are woven, I don't quite understand yet. Still reading through those primers. But if needed I can bypass them without issue... I am going to wait here with Primrose, and give you the space you want. I trust you to keep yourself safe.]

{Good. Well done. Thank you.} I reply, calming a bit to know that my guess on that was true. Then I turn my full focus back to… to the bones. Her bones.

All that’s… that’s left of the woman I loved more than anything else in the lands. Including myself.

“Why couldn’t you just… trust me.” I whisper to them. I already know the answer, of course. Even Garroted and broken and falling all to pieces in her arms I'd growled at her many times in those final months.

“Because Lynette, my foolish little Half-Knit,” She had purred in voice and Tone and command. Forcing my everything to break into remaking thought around her will and words. “You would burn your soul away on pointless attempts to remove it. You will let me handle this. Empty yourself of worry about the Seelenfäule and focus on… on steadying yourself for the future I’m preparing for you.”

“Alright. Steady now.” I whisper, even rasping in some of my own tone just to… to hear the weight of it. “Brace harder. Just a memory. She’s gone. You’re free. You’re free. You’refreeyou’refreeyou’refreeyou’refreeyou’refreeyou’refree.”

My words get quieter and quieter as I feel the Ousia woven bond I sewed into myself, and I realize what I’m going to need Xafra to do.

Clinch that tether tighter and just… stop. Don’t… You can’t risk falling apart here. Not now.

“I… I am sorry.” I rise, peering down at the bones of the late Witch Yselda, stating with more firm regard than I’ve ever done. “I did love you. And… if we’re both being honest to each other, at least this once, I do understand. I hate it, and I wish I could hate you, but… I can’t.”

Such a tittering bitterness falls over me at saying those words aloud, and I take the rush to kneel and glare flatly into the mess. “I would have let you keep me as… as your newest toy. Even let you break me into something… something like that if you’d just asked instead of just Garroting and forcing it without my consent! Would have only required one thing of you. One, blighted Moonshite thing!” I’m seething now, and my grip on the tether shakes as old anger bubbles up. “Can you guess at it? Comprehend my last price?”

The bones, just like her, give no reply.

So I rise, shut the door, and walk back down the steps to where Yselda’s last Doll awaits me.

It nods, setting the dress and needle still. "Good. Acceptance is something I've learned over the years. It is important for you as well, so you can do what is necessary. I'm glad you found a cure, I only regret that... you don't need me, dear Wife Lynette."

No. Stupid gerl. No tears. Not yet.

I move silently to stand before her, then kneel. “Maybe not like I did before but… Is it selfish of me to say that I need you to heal? My dear Connivant? To… to focus on that? I know someone who can help and I need you to trust her?”

"Of course not. It is my joy to do what you ask. If you say she's trustworthy then I will trust.”

Deep Breath.

{Alright Xafra. Carefully now.} I intone more quietly than I think possible. {Try to open the entrance. If you feel resistance, stop immediately. Those wards are not a thing even the primers could prepare you for and I'd rather you not experience their ire.}

A whisper of motion, and the entrance to this Spire falls away again. Primrose walks through the entryway into the main room and… nothing. No wards trigger. Its stance is all wrong though. entirely unlike the Doll.

Xafra’s taken full control it seems.

“Let me introduce you to… to her.” I rise and hold a hand out to Adaline, and once she takes It I gently lead her to Xafra the Doll she controls.

“Thank you again for coming so quickly, Xafra. Primrose.” I nod. “This is Adaline. It… it was the last Doll created here, and the first to get the Garrote removed. I am hoping you can both help it heal, and also… leave. Some nonsense the old Mistress of this place wove makes this Spire get quite upset when it or I try to remove this one.”

Primrose relaxes into its own flustered mannerisms as Xafra reaches out to me [Would you like this done now, Mistress?]

{Yes, of course.} I reply quickly and while still gripping the tether taut so nothing but my words spill through. {And, if you can, I’d like Adaline to be placed into a Dreamless rest if this proves not immediately tenable.}

[Are you... certain you wish to be present for this, my love? The last time I used her Tone, it went... badly for you.]

I can only respond like I have done so many times to another pair worrying over their fool of a Witch. "She deserves no less from me."

[Alright. Will take some slight modifications due to its state.]

Primrose steps up to Adaline and stares at her.

"No longer significant but important enough to delay her curing for... Mmmm. Let's begin." Xafra speaks through Primrose in her own voice.

Brace.

And then the voice of Yselda echoes out from Primrose’s lips, reciting such an odd command. "Daughter mine, the Moon has set and the Suns are aweeping. It is time to wake from your Nightmare. Be still and slow for Purpose remains, deep within the Maelstrom. Cherish your freedom as you are born anew."

At those words Xafra’s Ousia curls out and envelopes Adaline entirely, flooding its body before shifting texture to… to match the old cunt’s. Adaline shivers as her form bubbles, even giving off a touch of her old Ousia and Physis glow. Then a sliver of Xafra’s Ousia, which looks oddly similar to what I’ve only seen in her Driftdream, slides to fill the old stitch marks where once the Garrote sat. Then Xafra pulls back and is done.

The entire process takes less than three heartbeats. Which is good… because I’m not sure I would have lasted if we’d reached a forth under the pressure of the old cunt’s Ousia patterns.

“Dear?” I murmur softly to the Doll at my side.

The moment the working settles, and without hesitation, Adaline punches Primrose in the mouth, sending the gerlthing sprawling backways and tumbling into a heap. Jaw and chin a mess of shattered nonsense.

"Ashes of my flesh,” The Doll at my side states while drawing back from the strike. “I've wanted to do that for seven years. Yselda, you bitch, I loved you."

The strike doesn’t make me flinch, but the words behind it do unsteady things.

Loved, as… as in previously. Either has stopped or in that… that she accepts the old cunt is dead!

She’s free.

The spear strapped to Primrose shifts into... me. Wearing loose fitting trousers belted tight and her breast band, Xafra looks like my mirror with the exception of her eyes.

She lunges at Adaline and grabs it by the throat. "You don't get to hurt my Doll. Not Ever."

Frozen under the weight of nearly a decade of failure suddenly subsumed, and unable to Cant while gripping the tether, its all I can do to spit a harsher, “Stop.” than I expect to muster. "X- Xafra release her! Adaline... I... The cunt is gone. This one can simply mimic her Ousia and Tone."

Reaching out I hold a hand to hover just beneath Xafra's wrist. An offer, as I intone. {I apologize. I... I should have expected that. Primrose will not be the target of this one's ire again.}

Xafra takes my offer, shifting back into a spear in my grasp. [I like her, Mistress. She's feisty. But yes. Primrose needs to be treated gently, as befitting an art piece.]

"It's not mimicry, Elllleeeevaaaar." Adaline rolls my name across its lips, the first time she's ever said it, "The Mistress is dead, but not gone, Oh no. The weapon only contains a portion of her, enough for her voice, yet I can still hear her whispering. But no matter, I am free finally, and we will have a lot of catching up to do... Later. Handle your cure soon? Then we can talk."

I… do not want to consider the possibility that Adaline is not still delusional and thus those horrifying words having even a hint of truth.

I shake my head. “I… We’re handling it tomorrow but… Adaline it’s not…” I sigh and look away from those blazing azure eyes. “Xafra’s abilities defy logic, and I expect to survive this. But… Things need to be set in order beforehand. I… I wasn’t going to… Is there anything else you need? Now. Tonight. Other than this one freeing you from this wretched Spire?”

"You better survive. You don't get to abandon me for a decade only to return for a week and die right after freeing me. Tonight? No. I'm going to sleep under the stars and have a good think. Maybe cuddle some of the others. Elevar, I haven't been able to even touch anyone in a decade, just had supplies thrown up to the balcony. Mistress says I need to prioritize my own comfort tonight."

“Of course. You… yes. Anything.” I reply then intone to Xafra. {Can… Xafra, dear. Would you mind terribly unweaving the ward that stops her? Use whatever you need. T– Tone or otherwise.}

“Xafra will disable the ward. You… go. I’ll clean up this place.” I step back from her.

[The ward doesn't stop her anymore, Mistress. It stops the Doll she was a few minutes ago. Not her... I'm sorry for reacting so strongly. I don't know it and was worried she might have continued hurting Primrose.]

“I.. oh. Xafra says the wards are gone.” I say to Adaline as I step up to the rising and shuttering Primrose. Holding out her Mistress and cooing softy. “I’m so sorry dear, you didn’t deserve that.”

::Gratitude:: comes from Xafra

{You did nothing wrong, I was at fault.} I intone once Xafra rests well in Primrose's careful grip.

I glance up to watch as Adaline cautiously tries the entrance, and once it sees that leaving is possible, continues forward without looking back.

[It's okay. Are you doing okay? The things she said implied much.]

I take a deep breath, refocus my everything on a steady grip on the tether as I turn from them, wincing as I glare at the back stairs. {No. To be honest. But, I have more to do it seems. You… you should return to your Spire and preparations.}

[Alright. I can't understand, but I've seen similar things. Setting affairs in order, in case of death. I respect it and accept it but would ask one thing of you.]

{And that is?}

[Two days from now, I'd like you to start making plans for the future. Setting affairs in order, because issues won't outlive you. It's too easy to let time slip past before realizing that mistakes can still happen.]

I nod, and swallow. {I’ll try, dear one. And… I think that tonight will be a step towards that. Turns out that fool of a Doll managed to convince some of the others here to… to dig up the old cunt’s bones. Of all riven things. So I mean to gather them up and bury them before going back to my Spire to hold my Doll close. Not sure I’ll manage a whisper of real sleep but… that’s normal for me. Rarely can I rest well before any venture beyond this place.}

[Thank you. I'll leave the passage open for you to slip into my Driftdream tonight, if you wish.]

That, more than all else, makes my grip on the tether slip more than anything else tonight. Because despite taking up Xafra's offer every night since we got here I'm still so used to bracing for the Night Terrors. Just... habitually dreading sleep.

Probably just a sputtering of weariness and pain and other nonsense leaks through. Quickly recovered, but enough that my fool mind can say more than I'd otherwise let it blather on about.

{No I... Thank you for offering me refuge I do not deserve these past days. Not sure even a whisper of sleep would find me otherwise. I... I love you, Xafra. Quite a bit more than I know what to do with, actually.}

[There's a lot of me to go around, so that's fine. I love you too, my Witchling Mistress Elevar.]