The Mercy of Irrelevance is Sorely Missed (Blade)

Content Warnings:

AHHH! Stuff happens. Um.... Fear of death. Soul examination. Plurality. Ignorance to the existence of a headmate. Mupples. And... yeah. mhmhmhm!

For the longest time, nothing I did or said made any difference. In my oubliette, no one could be hurt through my inaction. Anything I did was... meaningless. Eternity was a harsh, but fair Mistress. And now... I feel like a monster. Guilt and Shame spur me forward as much as Obligation. In the time I was trapped in that containment chamber, I was faced with the consequences of immortality in a whole new way. Last time... there was no one left to miss me, no one waiting for my return, no family. This time, the possibility of being trapped forever wasn't a fear, but instead, I was terrified of... being too late. Escaping to find that my mistakes this time cost me everything that mattered, that I would wake once more to a different world, bereft of anyone to care about. In that fleeting moment before I fell, I threw out a lifeline, not for myself but for those I left behind. How do I even explain to Elevar what Sikkina is? I can feel that she was implanted, that the conditions were met somehow, and yet... I am a monster. There is no doubt in my mind. I should admit my Crime and my Sin and accept dissolution for what I've done, but… I don't want to die. I want to live, to experience this world with my new family.

"When they held my heart, it acted as an amplifier or passkey, and I could hear them talk to each other. Verbess said that... It wants to stay, to function, but with every spinning of the gears and cogs it rusts and becomes more defective and that it started dreaming. Schatzi responded that they should... die happy then and embrace the time they have left.”

I shift to Warlord as we approach where my Dolls surround Verbess and Schatzi.

Elevar moves up to sit on the bed next to her Doll, brushing hair aside to feel their cheek and forehead. Murmurs. "Warmer than they should be. Which is a good sign. At least. Dolls that... that fall into Dreaming often go cold." Then she moves to roll them onto their back and lays head to their chest, eyes closed as she listens. Whispers after a dozen or so heartbeats. "Frame sounds to be in Giyar 4. Which... is odd. And I swear I sense some titters of Physis, probably leftovers of the heart but... Well, until I open them up I won't know." Then she sits up to regard me. "Is that heart you gave them still sending you things?”

"No. They consumed it and seemed to begin changing somewhat. I... expected minor effects. For them to have more ability to control their form primarily, and to be able to... heal internal damage, like what I had inflicted on them when we first met.”

She looks back at them. "So... they awoke without trouble. Meaning the Dreaming started before they consumed it. And... only Verbess spoke of it happening. Not Schatzi. Which... means this is possibly secluded to one half of the Frame. And the consuming of the Heart enables them more control, more... awareness. Which..." She reaches out to lay a hand across their cheek. "The Dreaming of Dolls is something even the Matron of Dollcraft doesn't really understand. Sometimes it heralds the final flutters of the solidified Ousia and Physis of the Dolls' old form burning out. Like how the elderly grow weary and seek sleep more and more at their end. But... Other times it strikes years before their wellspring should burn away. And... and within anywhere between a few hours to a few weeks, a year at most, the Dolls just... just..." She trails off as such fear leaks down the tether. "Stops. Doesn't wake up.”

"This... Elevar... We will fix this. I swear. Whatever you need from me.”

"Yes. Of... Of course. Alright." She takes a deep breath as she regathers emotions into focused purpose. "First things first. Let's start small. You have better senses through the bond. Reach down and see what you can figure out. Might be able to nudge them awake even.”

I kneel in front of the bed and reach internally through the bond, more invasive than I have previously as I push aside my discomfort to check on their state.

I push my way past their initial mental layers, towards their mind cores. "Verbess is...messy. Its mind is shredded at the edges. Degrading. but there's... new developments, like it is reclaiming what is lost in new forms.”

"That's... That's good to hear." Elevar nods. "It's still healing. What else?”

I swap to Schatzi, "Schatzi is highly segmented still. Outer core sheath is mostly intact, minor damage, but cleanly removed, like she's been cutting away parts... Possible aiding in Verbess' recovery. The inner core is hard for me to read. Not sealed but foreign, I don't quite understand it, but it seems... flawless." My implications with the word is deliberate, noting exactly how I believe such a thing came about.

Elevar considers my words. "Flawless? I... Oh." Then she turns to regard the Dolls standing about us. "Feel free to wait above in my Spire, but give us the room please.”

Primrose, Nettle, Adaline, and Calix look at me with varying levels of discretion and I wave in annoyance.

"Yes Ma'am," they all chime before walking out together.

"My apologies. I'll have to talk to them later about that." I say, returning focus to my Witchling

"Don't. My words were phrased as I meant them." She says turning back to her Doll. "A request from a Witch to her partner and lover's Dolls. They were right to check with their Mistress first. If I was less out of sorts I'd have done the polite thing and thought to simply ask you through our bond.”

"Alright. I assume you wish to talk about the Einwandfrei that went into making her?”

She nods. "Spent years puzzling it out in a backways fashion. Nothing near enough to replicate the process but..." She waves up a small notebook of Physis from her little Archive, but... does not offer it, holding it back. "I... Was never planning on sharing this. Not without... without a very long conversation and the physical copy." Her eyes finally flicker up to touch mine as she whispers. "It's too much like what you showed me in your Driftdream. How you were forged.”

I flinch at that. "That. Yes. That makes sense. How it is... designed for control. Likely they were designated as the dominant unit because of the ability to have both a pack member and a second member with hidden subroutines.” I furrow my brows. "I can see why you would be hesitant to talk about this. When all three of them are so... deliberate. Do you know... if they were polysouled before being weaved?”

Her eyes go a bit wide, "Cracked and... I did hear you right then. There is a third member. I..." She huffs and works very hard to recover. "Polysouled. That's what I missed. Always... But... but that means they... they..." She turns back to regard her Doll, visibly shaking. "You could have left me. All that time. You couldn't just LIE, could you? You could filter out any wretched command I gave you. That's why... why Yselda could never reTune you, either. Not because I somehow managed to do it well but... but because you wouldn't let her.”

"I s-should note that... Schatzi and Verbess don't seem to have access to Schatzi's inner core. I f-find it unlikely that they were intentionally hiding it's existence from you so much as that one deciding that you were Worthy as I did." I stammer in my own realization that she wasn't aware as I try to avoid the obvious ramifications.

She takes a very deep breath, and while I can sense her try... Elevar is unable to stop the stream of furious guilt from sputtering down the tether. "Is... do you see what's stopping them from waking up? What could have caused this Dream Verbess had? Is... Are they in danger from this? Or is this just them... changing again. Schatzi mentioned Verbess stopped functioning for quite a while when their pack died and it took her a while to bubble up. You have a better sense of them than even the Matron of this art did when I saw her work.”

"I don't see any danger and could try and wake them by interfacing with the—”

I am interrupted by them sitting up and speaking in a hollow voice. "Directive Two forbids Access to Warden. Progenitor Override not recognized. Resolution offered. Status report. Pack Heart, Designation: Verbess, undergoing accelerated recovery. Emotional Simulation, Designation: Schatzi, in temporary stasis. Current requirement: Progenitor-type Ousia Siphon to prevent premature decline of function.”

Elevar flinches, but doesn't pull back as her Doll speaks. Pauses only to murmur gently. "I... Thank you. You said a... Progenitor-type Ousia Siphon was needed. I'm not certain what that is. Can you elaborate?”

"Restricted Knowledge requested... Granted. The Progenitor-type Ousia Siphon is a banned weaving based on collected observations of the Soulbane. Location of weaving knowledge... Unknown. Expected Decay of Function... twenty two days, fourteen hours. Analyzing acceptable Pathing... Complete. Verbess and Schatzi will be returned to function. Warden Objective… Failed. Final Wish commencing. No further Service Interruption will occur." The Doll falls back onto the bed once more as I stare in shock.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

"No- wait I..." Elevar leans forward and slightly over them. "Warden? Is that the designation you claim? Xafra can do so much with Ousia. She can perhaps perform the weaving you require. She's done it for me. You know that. Please, work with me. With us.”

"Mistress? Are you alright?" Schatzi opens her eyes in concern and confusion.

I stand, fear and anger and confusion all warring inside me at once. "—", I try to speak and find my words fail me. I shake my head and pace the room twice before returning to kneel beside my Mistress. She'll have the answers. Her decisions can be trusted, unlike my own.

Elevar's hand moves to Schatzi's cheek. "Dear one. We... We know about the Dreaming. The third sister or... or Warden or... We're trying to help figure this out." Then she turns to me, notices my distress. "Xafra? This... this core you mentioned. Do you need to access it to help offer them the Ousia needed? You said it was flawless. Unrusted. Could you simply supply the needed Ousia to the outer parts?”

"Third sister? Oh, did you mean Xafra?” Schatzi answers, unaware of what occurred.

"I can reweave them with a siphon identical to my own... I think I can supply them as well. The same way I do so with you.”

She hesitates, and through the bond I feel a flicker of understanding. Or... maybe the beginnings of it? Then she turns back to her Doll, takes a deep breath, and asks a question. One that clearly pains her to not simply demand. "Do you consent to this? Xafra weaving you a siphon? She... she's not the sister I meant, and I'm not sure you're aware of this third spirit in your Frame, but it's been quietly helping you both. And unless it wants to bubble up and talk again, this is a question for you and Verbess. I won't force either of you into this.”

"This would mean that we... continue. Yes. We agree. Verbess was clear on that." Schatzi answers, hesitant at first but growing confident with each word.

I prepare to weave and my mind catches up to everything that was said, not just the part about me. "Mistress... I believe it would be best if I taught you how and you did so. If... Yselda was unable to do this, reTuning on them. I worry Warden would try to stop me even with the other two agreeing, and I... can't do that. I won't override them like that." I surrender the last bit of what makes me unique, offering an ethereal tome to Elevar, my love.

She stares at the tome, the implications of this offer slowly rising and just barely balanced to quiet by the furious desire to save her Doll. "I... Okay, but... Your magic is foreign to me. I'm... I'll need you to walk me through it." Carefully reaching out to imbibe the tome, she pulls it into her Little Archive like I'd shown her how I did with her Blasenplage. A thing she took to quicker than I expected, albeit with... a need for caution. Even a trained Witch's mind reels from sudden influx of knowledge. Eyes glaze over as a hiss escapes her lips. Nauseating unenjoyable pain trickling down the bond as she fights to avoid getting sick from the vertigo as she curses. "Empty Skies. This…”

The tome is... strange to say the least, but the instructions are surprisingly simple. It involves implementing an item known as "The Breath of Dämmerung" into the core of one's soul to allow them to resonate at different frequencies. By partially unweaving the Doll it can be incorporated without issue.

"Alright.... Okay. Steady now." She rasps to herself, seemingly unaware that she's speaking aloud. "Eyes Forward."

She moves to lean and loom over her Doll's form, the bond thrumming in barely restrained panic as she considers the spell. The six tethers she wove in the jungles unfurling to curl down and about Schatzi, a whisper from touching her Doll as they twist and alter their shape and functions. "Okay dear ones, to avoid... miscommunications, I need to link these for a time. Let all of you become aware quite intimately of my goals and workings. It... might be a touch overwhelming. But once I start we cannot risk one of you thrashing about out of misunderstanding. Do you agree to this?”

"Yes, Mistress." As she speaks both Verbess and another stirs beneath to my senses which twitch as [Affirmative, Primary User] rings out over the bond.

"Mistress... why did Xafra call you Primary User? that's weird.”

"Schatzi, I think... that may be a conversation for another time, when Verbess is awake?" I look to Elevar, pleading with her to stay on task.

But that only seems to relax Elevar, settles her panic into a manageable sea she can sail over as she leans down to rest her forehead on Schatzi's. "Yes, later. Let's get this settled and you all safe.”

Then she gathers up her Ousia and Physis, and prepares to spin the ancient weaving.

First, gently enacting the familiar. Melting and unraveling parts of her Doll to repairs and healing. Second, slipping tethers into and around Schatzi's core while also relaxing the restraining grip she might hold over the bond to my Ousia. Letting me feel and observe with perfect clarity her workings and send back instructions, advice, and warnings.

And third... the most foreign. The most unnatural to her. Anathema to so much of my Witchling. Working with the magic that bears Divine implications.

Elevar turns to me as she arrives at the critical step. Hovering betwixt a dozen questions and the only one that matters. {The Breath? I... I don't understand this part. I don't have the time for or a good grasp of the communion parts.}

With a rattling exhale I unweave my own core and expel the Breath of Dämmerung from my form into the air before me. My hands shake as I divide the darkly glowing iridescent thing in twain and offer one half to my love while tightly grasping the other.

She pales, but reaches out with both barely steady fingers and Physis to take up the half offered. Bond trembles as she pulls it close and murmurs, "Alright... I... How do I..."

Her focus returns to her Little Archive and the tome I gifted.

{Alright dear ones.} She intones while holding the radiance over their lips. {Breath deep, if you please.}

Schatzi inhales and the Breath of Dämmerung flows into them. Through the bond Elevar and I watch it melding into their cores.

Okay. So far so good. Now... What will my Mate do?

As it settles, she leans back from them. Relief settling her to one by one pull six tethers free and rewind them about her core. Only just at the end noticing my pause. Her eyes dance over me in slow and deliberate regard. Then, very slowly and deliberately she crawls over to me, reaching up with Physis to envelope the second half of the Breath.

A pause, and such hunger rolls through my Witchling, enough to make her shiver.

But... then she presses the Breath back into my mouth, and leans forward to press lips to mine. The following exhale shoving the radiance back down into my lungs.

I accept the blessing I do not deserve, that I did not earn, with gratitude. I will continue. At least until she learns of my Crime and Sin.

[Thank you.] I murmur through the bond.

{Fool Gerl.} She intones while leaning back, hand moving over to gently brush my wrist as eyes dance back to her Doll. {No. Thank you for saving my Gerls. I... This would have been a disaster without your gift.}

Schatzi goes blank once more as Warden takes control. "Unknown Ousia Siphon installed. Calculating Efficiency... Done. Expected Decay of Function... Incalculable. Directive Two Parameters Altered. Processing... Done. Warden Objective... In progress. Progenitor Recognized. Soulbane... Appreciated. Apologies for this Service Interruption. Final Wish continues.”

I recoil again at my title, the reminder of all that I was, and that... I am remembered.

Elevar doesn’t notice as she turns to nod and let out such a sigh of relief. "Good. Cracked and Riven Moon. Is... Do you require or want anything else from us?”

"Negative. Please continue standard behavior, Primary User." Warden fades back again as Schatzi blinks in confusion.

"Mistress Elevar, Miss... Sister Xafra, I feel... better and... hungry? I didn't think I could be hungry,” She pauses to think, "I don't think I want to eat like Calix does. He makes such a mess.”

Elevar scoops up her Doll in such an embrace while somehow still gripping my wrist. "I... did... Well, regardless! I'll cook you anything you'd like.”

"Elevar, I believe she is hungry for Ousia..." I state plainly, wanting to avoid that mess.

"Yes. Of course. Cracked and..." She huffs and nods, pulling back to scoot us off the bed. "I'll take us out. The jungles will have regrown enough for her to harvest like you did.”

"Though... Once Verbess is awake, they would be able to make the modifications to be able to digest solid food as well, if they wish. I can... make up a manual for it.”

"That... Yes." Elevar nods, then slows at the steps. "Will they be able to gather Ousia like you can?”

"Not... yet, though they can be fed it now. I will have to figure out how to enable them weaving as well... which may occur naturally from the changes my heart caused.”

I send over a significant amount of Ousia to Elevar, completely topping up her wellspring once more.

She grips the wall to avoid buckling under the weight and thrumming pulse of sudden renewed lifeforce, recovering quickly though. Soon turning back to Doll. "Alright, let's... test this out. Schatzi, are you okay with me sharing my Ousia with you?”

"Yes? Yes! This one didn't know you could do that!" The Doll positively beams with joy and excitement.

"Well It's... honestly less that and more Xafra's given you the ability to consume the Ousia of others." Elevar clarifies, leaning into old logics to suppress other flutterings. "I'm simply going to be the source of it. She just filled me with what I think to be... about a hundred years of life, at least? And if we're considering the metrics of Ousia to Doll functionality metrics, a double to quintuple ratio, any bit you drink in will gain efficiency.”

"It was thirty five thousand Thaums, to use Adaline's term. Under standard operations, if none is used for modifications or weaving in the future, it should be enough for... four hundred years of function, minus whatever else is used for self repair and such.”

Schatzi looks in awe and excitement. "Yes, please please please. This one wants to be able to stay with Mistress and her sisters for a long time.”

"Alright, let's... see how this works..." Elevar murmurs to herself, gathering up Ousia from beneath her wards and channeling it through the bond to her Doll. "Xafra if... If you could help her figure this out. I've only had this happen in reverse.”

I prepare to assist but soon see my help isn't needed as Schatzi starts giggling and hopping up and down. "It's Yummy, Mistress, this is so goooooooood and I don't feel hungry anymore.”

Elevar however, barely remains steady, has to reach out to place a hand on my chest as the Ousia is quickly and deftly drawn into Schatzi and pulled free of her. A wash of sudden weariness coupled with emotions she very quickly devotes her everything to strangling before they can flow down the bond. "Oh, I... I think I... That's... You're alright, dear? The Ousia is settling?”

"Mmhm. I um. Yes. but did it hurt you?" Schatzi answers with concern.

Elevar shakes her head. "No! No. It... And even if you did, you know I'd enjoy twisting myself into it. Just... It's everything that hits after a good Einwandfrei casting, but as if it's jerked free rather than being... well... woven. I didn't brace myself like I should have known to. You, however, did so well, I'm incredibly proud of you.”

"Okay... Thank you both." Schatzi says seriously. "We... didn't expect to last much longer, but I can feel that Verbess is already recovering.”

"I..." Elevar's words catch in her throat, only allowing her to nod as the weight of responsibility buckles under a storm of emotions.

Alright. It's time. I harden my nerves and deftly move away from Elevar and up the steps. "I'll leave you all to catch up for now. Mistress Elevar, when you have time... we need to talk.”