Let Me Explain All This, I Promise To Be Nice (Witch)
Content Warnings:
Hi hi hi. Smothering Spooky headmates. Calling headmates a slur. Plural things.
As I watch Xafra’s eyes glide over the display, I am almost allowed a moment of relief. A… a feeling that I’ve managed to do something right, for once in my life.
Almost.
Sikkina. A word for knife? Really? Should have… have… No. It’s a wretched name! I hiss back. Chosen when Xafra made her to just be a spiteful last strike at those she hated. Just like Defect, or… worse! It’ll take her years to feel free enough to choose something she feels fits her! If at all!
I flinch, lose some of the control I've fought to keep on my face since Schatzi found me. It… It’s not…
I cut off the display showing the sanctuary I'd woven for Sikkina as a tremble rolls through me.
Just… stop. Please. I… I can’t handle you right now. I move to pull back from Xafra. I need to make sure Adaline’s okay.
I hiss wordless spite and threat at the thing.
It chuckles.
"This... Is a safe place for her?" Xafra asks, her Ousia flaring like one starved coming to a feast.
Schatzi and Verbess haven’t pestered me about this but…
I lean over Xafra and try for my best smile while nodding. Give her a quick kiss on the forehead before pushing off the bed and heading over to my dresser. Hoping Xafra’s too distracted to notice as I pull out a shirt and slip it over my shoulders to cover the Stitching Bond.
My compromise with this horrid place.
"Stop." Xafra's voice is suddenly ice, "I won't be deceived again blasphemer. Pestherold"
I jerk around to see Xafra staring between myself and my Doll in naked disgust. A click, snap, and Verbess’ Quills and Talons and Fangs are barred. Hissing as it moves to stand between myself and Xafra quicker than I can blink.
A snap of command is about to bubble out of me, but I quickly click my teeth shut and freeze as… what? Blasphemer? By the Cracked and Riven–
"They resonate WRONG! Do you think I would not recognize the souls of my Family? This pale mockery is insufficient to fool me." Xafra lashes out, not at either me or my Doll, but at the air around itself, in a tightly woven sphere of death that leaves the room untouched.
I flinch back as if slapped. Feeling the day of barely mitigated disasters and Nightmares and… and sacrifices and remaining needs just… just boil up and over and–
“Sister…” Verbess begins to hiss, but glances back at my expression, then lowers its voice to something softer than it's ever shown to anyone but me.. “Much has changed since your wounds laid you to slumber. The Mistress has… faced Old Nightmares. Sacrificed herself in ways she never meant to. We had to grow and change to aid her.”
When nothing happens with her attack, Xafra stops and dismisses her weaving. "This is... real? You've really healed, Verbess? Sikkina is not only safe but will be born blessed by Dämmerung? Schatzi has truly found a way to use the Breath like I've never seen? And... You, my Mate... your ontological weight has swelled, but you are closed off. I... don't want to make a mistake here, it just seems all too much. Perhaps the Lunargent is poisoning my mind, or this Estate trying a different tact to destroy me. It... doesn't matter. I won't do it. I won't be wielded against my family." Her chest heaves with emotion as she stands there.
I hiss and sag. Look about and… parchment. That should be safe… Right?
I walk over and snatch up the notebook and Quill I keep by my beside, write out a quick...
‘Yes. All real. Daughter safe. Adaline needs help. Probably words from her Mistress after you locked her in. Please?’
Then I hold it out to her.
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
"Locked inside... Oh FUCK. I'm so sorry, I have to go to her!" Xafra bows in apology before running past me and my Doll.
A few heartbeats pass, and after Verbess folds away her features its sisters turn to regard me for a moment.
"Mistress... Ontological Weight?" Schatzi finally asks in confusion.
I sigh and look down at the blank pages of the notebook. Suddenly at a loss as I walk over to sit on the edge of the bed.
No. I made a promise. To be better. I reply tiredly as I scribble some words for my Doll. You are everything that is the opposite of that.
I… No. I refuse to be like her. Even to you.
I huff and hold out a page of vague things I hope will settle her worries. ‘Complicated. Compromise with the Estate. Am… Adjusting.’
"Mistress... This is not better. This one was given clear guidance and..." She simply stops, shakes her head sadly. "Mistress Elevar, How may this one serve?"
I wince. Start to write ‘Sorry. Don’t–’ Cross out the words. ‘Thank you both for coming for–’ Cross out more words. ‘Help her–’ Tears stain the page as I rip it out and toss it to the side.
I shake my head. Write out in a gush of messy words for my Doll. ‘You’re right. I’m sorry. Want to keep my promises. Estate won’t hurt anyone now. You’re safe, Xafra’s safe. Don’t want to worry you. I have no commands but... Ask anything. Will answer as best I can in writing.’
"Okay. Mistress Elevar. Sister Xafra was... unhinged, but for good reason. You are sealed off, wards inverted. This one knows it is you, but not why you are doing this, what you are... containing, and... why you don't speak. If it is your choice, This one will accept that without hesitation. We can... learn one of those gesture based languages to make it easier for you to communicate? Mistress Elevar, We're safe, but... are you?"
I sigh and begin writing. ‘My choice. Compromise with the Estate. I made Xafra's daughter a sanctuary, deep below. Sikkina is safe. Kept my promise. Got Xafra more Dirt Godthing Breath. Kept my promise. But…’
I shiver, and I have to stop my hand from shaking like it’s not done in years.
‘It put something inside me. Or… No. It grew her from what was already there. More like you and Verbess now. Not talking because I don’t trust her to not bubble out and hurt someone. Inverted wards are for her. Tethers blocking the Bond are for her. Trying to keep promises.’
Schatzi looks at the page and whispers, "This is not right, Mistress. Should this one be closed away, letting only sister Verbess speak? If this... not-Mistress is part of you, she should be given room to grow. Not control, but... a chance to exist. This one is willing to risk being hurt by the not-Mistress."
And in a whip-crack I… I realize how I’m just making the same mistakes all over again. Acting like how I was and...
No. it wasn’t! I shake my head and bury my face in my hands. Can’t be you. Not again.
B– but… I murmur blearily as Schatzi's words weigh heavy on my soul.
I’m shaking my head harder now. I know what kind of cunt you are. The monster we worshiped. You won’t be happy just being the middle gerl.
You... you won't hurt them? Ever? You'll keep my promises? Not try to take control?
I finally let myself whisper very quietly and carefully into my hands. "Go ahead then. Don't... don't abuse this."
A pause, and the stitchwork on my back titters as She reaches up and out and...
I let her smile with my lips as we look up to meet my Doll's gaze. "Hello Schatzi. I am a weaving grown from your Mistress' memories, abilities, and lack of certain triggers and traumas. Built as a mediator between her and this Estate. A compromise, as it is."
"Hello. Taking that into consideration, I will make something clear. You are considered family. Do not treat that lightly." Her face goes slack as Warden takes control. "Anomalous User Detected and Registered. Authority control disallowed. Progenitor override required." Without skipping a heartbeat, Schatzi continues talking "So... Do you have a name already or…?"
"Such a good Doll." She chuckles through my lips as I nearly fall back into control to huff in relief at Schatzi's words. "And yes, dear, I have a name. Call me Lynette."
Schatzi goes still as I wince internally. "Is that chosen to cause pain to the Mistress or due to your own sense of self identity?"
Lynette smiles wider, and I fight to not snap her away as I growl a wordless warning. She gives me a tilting nod of acceptance and answers. “If I’m being completely honest. I’m not here to make Elevar comfortable, and that name reminds her of what I am. That was the point, the compromise. I am her, or… what she was before the Soul Rot and what came after. In every way the Estate could weave me to be.” She pauses, “So… Both. I adore this name, but I also don’t mind watching her squirm over it. And after today she’s going to have to–”
I cut her off and glare off to the side as she pulls back while radiating bemused annoyance.
“Sorry, Schatzi.” I whisper.
"It is fine, Mistress. Will you forgive me for using that name for her? This one... thinks that... It feels correct."
“Of course. Would be worse than she is to deny her that.” I sigh. “Just… The others don’t know how bad I was. And now she’s in my head and… and pushing me and… and I was very good at manipulating people. I don’t know how long I can handle her.”
"Hmmm. Mistress, This one doesn't think... you really have to handle her. Cooperation seems best considering the alternatives. But... this one would request that... you both try to be... kind to each other. Please?"
Manipulative cunt.
She does the equivalent of a mental shrug.
“Of course.” I sigh and nod to my Doll and her. “Might as well. And… I wanted to ask what happened before you came down for me? In Xafra’s basement? Why did the Fool Gerl lock everyone in? That Service Doll is a mess but… literally incapable of being a threat.”
"Oh! Right. So um. Xafra and Adaline had mentioned freeing an odd Doll previously that ran away. Turns out Calix knew it, which uhm we learned when Nettle called us and Xafra to come help because there was an intruder in the Spire. This Doll was in the basement and getting bothered by the miasma, and it was... fine? mostly, until Calix nonchalantly mentioned that the Doll was a suspected Denizen turned into a Doll which is when sister Xafra panicked and sealed the room to try to keep everyone inside safe, and ordered Adaline to Defend and Subdue. she uhhh. proceeded to assign everyone tasks to get this Dezi, as Calix called it, comfortable and calm, then tossed Mistress Xafra over to me, called me a slut and started clawing and begging at the wall until it opened for her." She pauses only for a moment, "Mistress Elevar, Miss Lynette, is this one a slut?"
“What? No. Not at all.” I quickly retort as Lynette cackles at all this, Schatzi's last question bubbling her over into tittering amusement. Then I turn the questions about this inward to her in worry.
Is… is that thing a threat I missed?
It considers this… then offers the answers alongside a simple request. Not a demand.
Not yet.
So I sigh and nod, letting her speak.
“Adaline was probably venting frustrations, dear.” Lynette smirks. “So… Unless your Mistress commands it I doubt the title fits you. As for the rest… Well, Yselda suspected that the Gerl was in fact a Denizen, but that doesn’t suddenly make it dangerous. Not after she let the Estate turn it into a Doll.”
"Mmhm. Adaline, this one, and Verbess all confirmed that the Doll isn't an active hazard. Though Sister Xafra was saying some... really weird stuff."
I take back control and nod wearily. “Hurt and tired and probably surprised and scared… and… yes. We suspect she did. Hopefully Adaline is able to calm quickly under her care. I… today has been a long day and I suspect she needs rest. Badly. Not just sleep but... quiet. A credible lack of danger or emergencies.”
In answer I spark up a subtle working of Physis. Motion and energy to batter back the weight of weariness.
"As do you, Mistress.” Schatzi echoes her. “Is... There anything pressing that cannot wait for tomorrow?"
“Honestly? I… Not since Xafra and you consumed the Breath. So long as nobody wanders into spaces they know better than to explore.” I sigh and bonk my head back against the wall, then whisper. “I just… don’t feel like exploring what Nightmares today could birth.”
"Then... Can we just stay here for now and rest? And by we, I mean Miss Lynette as well. No wandering, just… Rest?"
I nod, and hold out a hand for her. “Of course. I… I did promise you a snuggle pile once today stopped needing my attention. I’m not sure when I’ll find the courage to sleep properly but just… you both being close while knowing the Summer Storms haven’t hit just yet sounds lovely.”
Schatzi takes my hand and smiles "Thank you, Mistress Elevar."