It was early in the 2000’s and I took one last inhale from my cigarette, the very last bit, where you know you just inhaled some filter and flicked it on the ground. That's the true way to smoke a smoke; every last bit. That way, you can tolerate life that much more, because really, what on earth is going on other than killing time? And everyone knows the best way to do that is to smoke. What's that study say? One cigarette takes away ten minutes off your life? Or something like that. It takes about 5 minutes to smoke a smoke if you really want to enjoy it, so I guess you kill like, two times as much time when you're smoking. Sounds like good progress to me.

But anyway, I'm James, and I am playing hooky on church. My church is really close to the mall, so when my parents bring me there, I just stroll on over to the mall, buy some coffee, smoke some smokes, and read at the bookstore, till it's time to go.

So I walk on in the mall, from the smoker pad, and go over to Starbucks to buy my coffee, when I see the most stunning chick working the cash register. I look around to see if anyone was seeing what I was seeing, to look at the amazed look on people's faces as they walked up to her, enchanted by her, but no, I was around a bunch of couples and old people. Pfft, old people. Don't know what they're missin'. Or maybe it's just me, and it's love at first sight, you know? Like we're meant for each other or something. That stuff's totally for reals. I mean, I'm pretty pessimistic about life, but love; I've never questioned love. When I think about it, I think, that's real purpose right there. Dedication of your life to another human being; an effort to apply happiness to every aspect of that person's life. Man, you can't go wrong with living your life like that. But I'm just fuckin' with myself. Love, at first sight, is bullshit. Come to think of it, whenever I see a hot chick I'm interested in, I act this way, but I never do anything about it, or act on those feelings, because okay, I'll be honest; I'm afraid of rejection. I could only really hit on a chick when I'm drunk, or one of my buddies coaxes me into it because then, I'll have an excuse for rejection. Yeah, I'm a class act, a real romantic.

Nope, I do not take chances. I mean, I do talk a lot of bullshit about life, but the truth is, I like the way my life is. I've always played it safe. Not too much, not too little, just in the middle of it all, trying to get by. Pretty simple stuff.

Anyways, it's about my turn in line, and I'm trying to shake off that feeling of attraction.

"And what can I get for you today?" My god, her voice is angelic.

"Uhmm, a cappuccino please; short."

I realize I have to stand aside, my turn's over, and this part of my life is coming to a close. I move to go, but I stop. For some reason, instincts are rattling around in my head forcing me to act. Just think about it, it's saying, this chick's personality could be just like her voice, then what? You just missed the greatest opportunity of your life. And so, "Uhmm, excuse me?" I say.

"Yes?"

"Might you like to go out for dinner sometime?" She smiles. Fucking stunning.

"Ughh, well, I don't really have the time for going out." Ah, fuck. Well played Miss, let me just rip my balls off, they're obviously useless, and I'll be going. Thank you for that smile, it gave me a lot of hope, before your rejection.

"But, how 'bout I cook for you sometime? Can I get your number?" I stand there, almost speechless.

"Ugh, yeah, for sure!"

She grabs her cellphone and I give her my number. I'm holding up the line, but who cares, I just got a date.

“Can I get your name?" I ask with a weak smile.

"Lily."

…

…

"So let me get this straight, you just asked to go out and she said yes?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Wow, so simple. Why can't I think of shit like that?"

"I know man, it was so crazy, it had to work."

That's my buddy Jack smoking next to me. We're out on our evening smoke. We meet each other after dinner time to get our nicotine fix because our parents don't know we smoke. I know, we're rebels.

"So when's the big date?"

"She just called me before I left. She wants me to come over next Friday."

"That's legit, you'll be in her pants in no time."

"Hey man, it's not like that. The only reason I'm coming over is that she’s a little short of cash at the moment, so she wants to cook for me."

"Yeah, cook your cock, with her hot mouth."

"Fuck you, man."

"Why wouldn't you just ask to pay for her, you know, being the gentleman that you are."

"I don't know man, I wasn't thinking. All I know is that she basically said yes to my offer, and I was so down for it."

"Could have earned you big points, man, I'm tellin' ya'."

"She also wants to watch a movie while we're there."

"What movie?"

"Since she's cooking, I let her pick." I let out a short laugh.

"We're watching 'The Notebook'," I say.

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"Wow, right off the bat. Are you just that whipped?"

"Fuck you man, I love 'The Notebook;' almost cried watching that the first time. Of course, I didn't, because I'm a man, but I was close."

"Fuck that man, 'The Notebook' was bullshit. The moral of the movie was it's alright to fuck someone else when you're engaged if it's true love. Which is crap, if you ask me"

"Man, you watched 'The Notebook?'"

"For sure, dude. I really got into those love stories after we watched ‘A Walk to Remember.' But I’m probably just horny.”

"Same here, bro. Same here.”

"Well, enough of this gay shit, let's go play some 2K."

…

…

So it's Friday, and I'm in love. Just kidding. Said that 'cause I'm lovesick and I need 'The Cure.' Just kidding.

I park the car, open the door, and walk outside, and I start thinking.

Are we going to be alone? I mean, does she have her family around? Does she live alone? How old is this chick? What if she has a dad with a shotgun? Or an overprotective older brother? Or a really judgemental mother? Man, what am I gonna do? I suddenly decide I need a cigarette, and pull one out and light it. As I'm standing there by my car, smoking, I hear her door open and a head peeks out.

"Hey James, is that you?" Oh shit! I just stand there with this dumb look on my face and my cigarette loosely hanging out of my mouth. Man, she doesn't even know I smoke. My god, what a way to tell her.

"Ugh yeah," I say as I throw the smoke and step on it. "Just finishing up." I walk over to her, reeking of cigarette.

"So you smoke?"

"Ugh, yeah."

"Classy," she says. "Come on in." She takes my coat and hangs it in the closet next to the door, and says to wait for her on the couch as she grabs the movie.

So I sit, thinking idle thoughts. Nice house, big T.V., comfortable couch. Think "classy" was sarcastic, or she really digs guys who smoke? Who knows.

She comes down, movie in hand, and I give a weak smile. God, I'm going to dread this. There's too much cheese in this flick, but hey, at least she seems excited. Which I find kind of cute; just saying.

"I can't believe you agreed to this." She says, with an odd relieved look on her face.

"Yeah, I can't either." Who am I kidding? Of course I agreed to this. Like I said, this chick is stunning. Imagine it. Stunning. Yeah, you know what that looks like. No need for description.

"Don't worry, you'll love it. Have you seen this before?"

"Actually, yeah, with my family."

"Oh, really? Did you cry?"

"Almost, but I mustered enough testosterone to keep it in."

"Oh, how manly." She knows it. "Okay, ready?"

"For sure." She pops the movie in the DVD player and presses play.

So the movie starts, and I'm coming to terms with it.

The movie goes on, and as we get deeper into the movie, I notice how into it this chick’s getting. I mean she's sitting straight up, hands together on her lap, eyes wide, mouth half-open. This chick must love this movie. Just imagine the emotion going through this girl's head. She's completely open to this fantasy world; a real princess. A true product of this great country. Dreamers man, what can I say? No doubt she's waiting for prince charming. Well don't fret, James has arrived.

She's rubbing her eyes, as she grabs the remote controller to turn off the DVD player and the television. She lets out a sigh and says, "Ready for dinner?"

"Ready when you are," I say.

We go into the kitchen where she opens the oven and places our dinner on the table. Steak and potatoes, and all I'm thinking is, what a prize.

As we get onto eating I start to say, "So, you were pretty into that movie."

"Yeah, that movie really gets to me sometimes. It's pretty much the most romantic thing I've ever seen and it makes you kind of wonder, you know."

"Yeah; kind of makes you wish you had that." She looks up abruptly.

"Yeah," she starts to say slowly. "You know what it does! I mean, why can't I have that? I mean, I have to sit here and hope that something magical happens to me. I wish I could just take it from life, with no regrets."

"Yeah, about that..." I say as I look up from my dinner, to see that Lily's just staring at me, intently. Her chair makes a sound as she abruptly pulls away from the table. "Hey now, Lily," I say convincingly. "There's a time and a place." She walks up to me, and sits on my lap so that my body is between her legs, grabs my head, and starts kissing me. This chick's relentless. I'm weak-minded so I let this go on, until she says, "Come on, let's go to the couch." She grabs my hand and pulls me towards the living room.

"Maybe we should take this-" I try to say, but she pushes me on the couch and she lies on top of me, kissing me before I could continue. Again, I'm weak-minded, and all the blood in my brain went to my dick, so I stop trying, but after a minute of this, she starts to take off her shirt, and I start to realize, this shit's going down for real, but all I can think of is the girl watching her movie, putting her hopes and dreams out there for me to see. Have I mentioned, my conscience is a bitch. I'm trying to get this chick down by the fire, and my mind is subtly asking, is this what she really wants? And I really want to say; stop being a bitch.

"Ugh, no," I say to myself.

"What? No?" She pulls herself up and off me, and man does she looks sad. She crosses her arms, gathering some strength to keep her emotions in, but she's still teary-eyed. "Do you, not like me?" She says, trying to stifle her tears.

"No, no, it's not that." Man, chicks crying. So vulnerable, like her dreams. It makes you want to turn into a superhero. "It's just that, you were watching the movie, and I was watching you. And, I don't know, it just doesn't seem like you truly want this." She's rubbed her eyes, and it seems like the tears stopped. Thank god. "You want to be swept off your feet, not fucked by some guy you barely know." She's still sniffling, but she's for the most part, quiet and trying to listen. "I just think we should take this slow. Feel it out as we go along. I'm a decent guy, but not the sort that's going to make you fall in love with me at first sight, but maybe, you never know, if we take it slow, we'll find out we were meant for each other, and that's worth the wait, I'm sure." I give a weak smile, hoping I made her day because I still can't believe I puked out all that cheese. Fuck you conscience, I could be in her pants. She smiles, at the least.

"Okay, yeah, you're right." She says with one last sniffle. "Take it slow." She takes a deep breath. We let some silence pass, and she smiles again.

"Okay, I think I'm going to go," I say before the silence gets awkward. "Call me sometime? I'd like to see you again." I say as I walk over to the door.

"Yeah, sure, sure. I'll see you later.”

I open the door, but before I leave, I turn and say, "Hey Lily, don't give up on your dreams." And that, my friends, is the cherry on top of my cheese. Why? Because I, James, am a champion. Obviously.