I stand before various selections,

At the grocery store,

Mountain Dew,

Oh sweet lady, let your pee enter my mouth,

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Indeed, who's urine should we drink today,

Some Doctor Pepper, to sate my thirst for blood,

Some Pepsi, to respect the experienced,

This one says Peace Tea,

Its nice to say,

Maybe the Monster,

Because I'm tired?

This one's called Reign,

Would it be alright to drink?

I'll drink anything with vanilla,

You notice how there's never any blueberry juice?

Raspberries, snort,

Apple juice, for the refined,

Wine? Get the fuck outta here,

This is a kid’s show...