It's a lot harder to complain about my brother when I'm right next to him, it must be said. As he practically leaps up from his chair to embrace me, it's hard to not let it all fall away. The inadequacy issues, the shadow I live within, the everything the world makes me think of him, all these things are as see-through as glass when faced with his genuine enthusiasm.

And his genuine lack of consideration, as my arm hurts when he squeezes me. "Oww! Brother, I'm still injured!"

"Ah!" He just as quickly lets me go, and instead offers his hand for my good one to shake. "Forgive me, it's simply been almost three years and-"

I step forward and embrace him, with my one unhurt arm, on my own terms. "It's good to see you, Antoine. Reading all those dispatches almost made me forget you even knew how to smile."

"Hard to get away with writing all the funny quips and cool lines in the after-action reports I'm afraid. The High Command looks down on such things. No fun allowed on a battlefield according to the powers that be."

"Is the battlefield supposed to be a place of wit and whimsy, brother?"

"I don't see why not, why shouldn't you be witty everywhere?"

My brother, the eternal thespian, the eternal optimist... "I feel like I have a friend you might like. If you don't mind that she's seven feet tall."

"Oh, don't even talk to me about women, Serena." He slowly takes his seat again, playing perfectly the role of a lovelorn man. "I happen to have enough troubles on that front with my latest little love."

"So there really is something you can't do... I had only ever speculated."

"How droll... Actually, you might be able to help me with this one, Serena!" He enthusiastically gestures for me to sit across from him, suddenly quite animated.

Which leaves me remarkably suspicious, but not enough to immediately refuse. "How precisely would I be of any help in you dating a woman, brother?"

"Well... You are a woman yourself; you might know what you'd like to see in a man."

As little of one as possible, naturally, but I can hardly tell Antoine that... Can I? "... I suppose I technically do, yes."

"And you were at the Academy with the other Comrade Witches, so you might even know the object of my affections!"

That was unlikely. I didn't really make many friends at the Academy, even if I turned a lot of heads with my completely normal conduct. They were all rather odd ducks there, and while I was certainly cordial... I doubt I could remember any of their names, other than of course-

"Did you happen to know a girl named Lazierte? A beautiful girl with a beautiful collarbone, with so dry and fiery a countenance that it draws you in and sets you alight? Ring any bells?"

... Lazierte was sent to be a colonel in my brother's army, this was true... But surely she didn't... Surely they didn't! "Umm... I may happen to know her, yes..."

"Oh good! Then you might be able to help me! You see, she rebukes my every advance, she parries my romantic gestures, and she utterly ignores all of my poems! It's utterly infuriating I must say, and I'm near my wits end trying to find the perfect way to make her feel for me what I feel for her!"

Well, I suppose there is technically a chemical solution for that now, but I imagine my brother is disinclined to go that route... "Brother, I must confess, I was in fact Lazierte's best friend at the Academy. And I can tell you now, she's not going to be receptive to your advances, ever."

"W... What?" Antoine seems to be grappling with the concept of the impossible for the first time in his entire life... Even though it happened to be the exact same thing he grappled with the last four times he had a crush on a cute girl. "What do you mean? That I'm not charming enough? I'll become more charming! That I'm not an attractive enough specimen of a man? I'll do push-ups! ... Are you suggesting she doesn't like her lovers black? Admittedly we can't change that one, either one of us..."

My hand reaches for my cheek, remembering the kiss she left upon it. "I don't think it's that last one, brother..."

"Then what? What must I do?"

... Would it be okay to simply tell him that Lazierte is bent? I mean, if he doesn't know by now, it means she never told him. And if she never told him it's because she doesn't want him to know. Surely then it's not something I should just be announcing to him without her consent... But then how do I get my brother past this? Lying? I can't lie to save my life!

... But maybe I can tell half-truths? "Lazierte already has someone special to her, brother. She's already taken."

"Really? Who is he? I'll fight him for her hand!" Antoine looks about ready to kick over the cafe table and draw his sword to go fight... Her Majesty, if he ever found out my meaning.

"They aren't exactly someone you can fight, brother."

"What, is Lazierte deeply religious? I will happily aim my cannons at the heavens and tell those celestial cowards to-"

"No no no no! It's... Haaah. Look, just drop it, okay?"

"No can do, sis! This is the love of my life we're talking about!"

The fifth and counting by my estimate, Antoine's exploits on Kerska were the talk of the island before he went off to the mainland to become a general. The main weapons in my arsenal are delaying tactics, to wait out his latest little obsession and get him thinking about something else. And since Antoine is raring for a fight anyway…

I get to my feet, and with my good arm I draw my sword and point it right at him. "I'm afraid Lazierte's secrets are to remain secret, brother. Unless you're willing to fight me for them."

Antoine's determined pout becomes a remarkably happy grin, and he quickly gets himself to his feet. He’s about to draw his own sword… Before he realizes that everyone else in the cafe and on the street are staring at us... I seem to have inherited some of his own incautious qualities, and perhaps he has learned the lessons of Malmo somewhere along the way.

"Uhhh, Sis... This is a cafe, not back home..."

"Oh... Right..." I scramble to put my sword away; I’ve been a bit hasty in my efforts to protect my best friend…

"But there's an alleyway nearby, one where I figured people could go unobserved. We could have our fight there!"

"... Why are you so well-versed with the alleyways of Alesia, brother?"

"Oh, I just saw it on the way here and thought 'this would be the perfect place to launch an ambush from’! Once you've gotten used to urban warfare it's difficult to see a city the same way ever again!"

Antoine's smile implies that he thinks this is a good thing... To my shame, I know exactly what he means, albeit from the other direction. Where he sees opportunity, I see risk... Maybe this is part of being a grown-up, Antoine is ten years my senior and by far the more accomplished commander. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen a military dispatch about one of his failures... Ever. Almost as if he simply never has failed on a battlefield before.

I wonder if he'll ever read reports of my failures one day, and weep for his incompetent little sister. "Right... Then let's head there."

The onlookers seem remarkably confused by our good-natured exit together after my rather hasty pulling of a sword on Antoine. Our sibling relationship is a little idiosyncratic in that fashion. Which might be why none of my other brothers or sisters can stand being around Antoine anymore, they simply can't keep up with his eccentricity... I wonder when I'll see them again, see Kerska again. See its beaches, swim in the Carthaginian Sea, and eat freshly caught fish. I wonder if I can bring Her Majesty there! ... I wonder how Mom and Dad will react to my bent-ness. They already fought tooth and nail to try to get me out of being sent to the academy, to give me a proper 'noblewoman's' upbringing. They’re hardly followers of Wool, sure... But according to Xena and Celeste even those most devoted to Cotton can still be a little Wooly in their thinking.

"Uhh... Sis? We're already here."

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Oh dear, I seem to have been lost in thought the entire walk... And found myself in the perfect alleyway to launch an ambush from. It’s dark and relatively narrow, but with enough space for one person to maneuver fairly comfortably. Possibly enough space for a three-pounder gun, although not enough room to efficiently load one…

"And it's a perfect fencing piste..."

"It's as if this little corner of the city was made just for us!" With his cheer having returned, Antoine draws his sword and walks into the dark alleyway, turning around and gesturing for me to join him.

I follow, up until the very edge of where light seeps into the space, and draw my own sword in turn. "First hit, and try not to get my left arm, okay?"

"I promise to try." Antoine is very clearly lying, he’s not capable of showing caution once steel is drawn.

"And I promise to try not to cut that face of yours, I know you're quite proud of that smile." I try to share his enthusiasm but honestly, his level of pep is simply exhausting to hold, especially for something like swinging swords about.

He silently nods his acknowledgment before giving the traditional fencing salute. I copy the motion, and from there it is on. There is no more talking. He takes the first strike, as he always does, and I have to step back immediately to build distance, being pushed further out of the alleyway. This isn’t good, I don't have a lot of distance to trade for time here, and Antoine is already preparing another strike…

A familiar strike. Even after three years, it seems my brother hasn't learned many new moves. And even after three years, I remember being hit by all of them. I parry his swing easily and even take a step closer to try and gain some ground, but Antoine doesn't budge. I try to punish him for it with a quick little thrust, but he simply dodges and brings his blade back down upon me.

I try to parry, but this one is a more forceful strike. He's simply physically stronger than me and I can't hold off his attacks forever. I slip further away, losing more ground, but at least I manage to escape, albeit right at the edge of the alleyway. I have no more ground to lose, I have to hold it... Lazierte's counting on me.

Antoine makes a thrust, one last little effort to knock me out of the piste entirely or get a wound on me. One right in the middle of the alleyway, as hard to dodge as possible... But I hug the wall with my body, and while I feel the steel against my skin, making a cut in my officer's dress, I can tell I am unharmed. I'm not out yet. I swing down upon Antoine, who clearly wasn't expecting me to still be in the fight after that. In a sudden panic, he steps back, yielding ground. And I follow up with a thrust, able to press the attack for the first time in over a hundred duels.

Antoine thrusts back, hitting my left arm mere moments before my blow connected with his chest, causing me to drop my sword and hold my wound in pain. I had held back, not wanting to hurt my brother too badly, and that gave him his opportunity. I can't quite see his face, now that he's been once again consumed by the darkness in the alleyway, but I can hear his laughter.

"You... You almost did it! Little sis, you almost won! You even got a hit on me; you've grown so much!" He’s utterly ecstatic, his sword clattering to the ground as he rushes over to me, his cheer surviving up until the moment he realizes where he hit me. "O... Oh... I'm sorry sis-"

"It's... It's alright. You won fair and square." I seethe a little, this really does sting... I almost had him, and Lazierte was counting on me, and it seems like he stabbed a lot of old wounds at once with that little trick. "... But I can't tell you about Lazierte, I'm sorry-"

"Oh, who cares about that?! I hadn't had a good fight in almost three years until today! Hehe, let me enjoy it a little longer, sis!" He seems liable to hug me all over again, in spite of my wounds and everything.

"... Can we enjoy it outside this dingy alleyway?"

"Ah! Right, of course, just a second." Antoine disappears into the shadows again to reclaim his sword, then leans down to take mine. "I'll carry these, let's go somewhere a little less..."

"Strategically relevant?"

"Exactly!"

He sheathes his sword, then slips my own back into its scabbard, before leading me back into the light of the normal world again. I take a deep breath, suddenly quite conscious that I had been taken 'somewhere outside reality' for a second, a little place made separate from the world I knew by violence. I wonder if my brother feels it too, the return to reality. To normalcy.

After all, his pep does seem to be draining a little. "... Most of my 'fights' these past few years, at least the challenging ones, were social ones, I must confess. The Pollineux name was mud when I first arrived at the academy, 'cravens and opportunists' were what polite society made of us... It took a lot of victories and a lot of putting up with other people's bullshit to finally get into the position where we are now, where you don't get grief for being part of our family."

... I hold my tongue, I imagine Antoine might be more than a little displeased to learn just how exhausting, how dispiriting, and how depressing it can be to have to live in his titanic shadow.

"So, I have to appreciate the stand-up fights where I can, the moments where things are actually difficult, where they're a challenge I understand... I must confess, I despise the backbiting and politics of this stupid city. If it all just fell away, I could simply pursue the things that interest me personally."

"Like conquering the world?" Like being conquered by Her Majesty.

"Hehe, I'm sure I'd get on that eventually. Right now, I'm stuck trying to conquer even a single woman. Oh, speaking of-"

"Brother, I can't give you any more information about my best friend, it wouldn't be fair."

"Dang..." He accepts that awfully easily... He's planning something. "Then, I suppose I'll have to take something else as my prize, won't I?"

"... I promise I will introduce you to the seven-foot-tall cannibal bear woman I know. I imagine you might hit it off, so long as you don't upset the Helvetian mad scientist she's close with."

"Tempting, but... Wait, cannibal?"

"I have made some very interesting friends."

"I envy you. I seem to exclusively make friends with people like Malmo. Useful ones, who I can't stand. Oh, he asked me for advice on how to date you, funnily enough."

"... What did you tell him, brother?" My working hand finds itself on the pommel of my sword again.

"That you are the second-best fencer I had ever even heard of, so unless he can beat me in a fight, he'd best leave you alone. I won't let you get married off to some social climbing weakling, sis."

"... That might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me, thank you." ... I wonder if Pasche can beat Antoine in a fight... Her Majesty certainly can't but why would a goddess have to fight for little old me? "So, should I make introductions-"

"Actually, I had a different prize in mind." Reaching into his coat pocket, Antoine produces a rather ornate-looking letter, with a broken royal seal still hanging off it. "The Royal Family has invited me to a little soiree they're throwing in the Glass Garden tonight, on a night where I have business with some friends in The Convention. But I can't exactly insult the King by simply not showing up, so... I figured perhaps you might be able to go in my place, represent the Pollineux family at the Royal Palace."

And there it is... He’s had that thing in his pocket the entire time, he must have been planning to foist this responsibility on me somehow- Wait... "... Will Her Majesty be there?"

"I mean, yeah the Queen will be- Wait, Her 'Majesty'?"

"I'll do it!" I take the invitation from his hands with a frankly startling amount of violence. "Hehehe, thank you, brother."

"... If I had known you'd be this into the idea I'd have taken that opportunity with the Bear Woman too... But I suppose it is still something of an imposition. After all, you'll need a proper dress for the occasion."

"What's wrong with my officer's dress?"

"Well, one, it's an officer's dress. And two..." He pokes at my belly, revealing the cut in my usual clothing. "Someone seems to have torn it. With a sword."

"Haaah... But I have no money for dresses!” Or anything…"

"Malmo offered to cover it. He happens to have friends who sell dresses, and friends who style hair if you were interested-"

"Fuck off, Malmo..." I mumble it under my breath, I can't help it, that little moment of Pasche and Celeste cooperation is simply ingrained in my mind now. "... I'd really rather not lean on Malmo. For anything. Ever."

"I suppose I understand... And I am springing this on you last minute, so..." My brother produces a purse near bursting with coins and presents it to me. "Here. Be the prettiest thing in the Glass Garden. Nothing less for a Pollineux."

"Someone's doing well..." I take the purse and am aghast at the sheer weight of the thing, having difficulty tying it to my sword belt with one hand. "I imagine that's just a perk of having friends in The Convention."

"The Aeduian Restorationists do admittedly have a lot of capital and are able to reward friendship considerably... But I do think it's in the best interests of our family to maintain good relations with the Royals as well. That way we have allies no matter how this little 'separate but united' arrangement shakes out. I imagine I can leave the regal side of things to you, sis."

“You certainly can, I can at least understand that part… Brother, what do you see in the Aeduian Restorationists anyway? I’ve only heard bad things.”

“I see money and I see favors. And I see the winds of change… It’s simply the path of least resistance to go with the winning team.”

“So, you don’t care what they’re planning to do to Avernia?”

“Sister, I don’t even understand what they’re planning to do to Avernia. Something about democratically elected local representatives moderated by an appointed Senate with veto power. When they tried to explain it to me I nodded and smiled as if I knew what they were talking about, and I took their money.”

“… That doesn’t feel especially healthy for… The world in general.” Even if I can completely sympathize with him being utterly overwhelmed by it all.

“It’s healthy for our family. Even if I’m certain Father is going to take personal offense going from a ‘Count’ to a ‘Minister’. He’s still more bitter than he lets on about no longer being a Grand Duke.” Antoine gives a little smirk, a conspiratorial little whisper. “Maybe the old goat might finally consider retirement, and I could try my hand at winning an election.”

"And here I thought you hated being a political opportunist, brother."

Antoine suddenly turns serious, an expression his face bears surprisingly well. "I hate being called one to be sure, but only the guilty are above reproach. Remember that, Serena. It took some painful months for it to be ingrained in me."

Another part of being a grown-up I suppose, like wearing fancy dresses and dealing with politics... But my brother’s scheming will get me closer to Her Majesty, even if only for a night, so I suppose I can accept being a grown-up for now. Now I just have to figure out how one even shops for clothing, much like groceries it's something beyond my expertise.

Celeste did say I'd look nice in green...