I'm awake. Sort of? My eyes refuse to open, content to simply not be in my possession. My entire body feels a little like my blood has ceased to move, that it has all found its spot in my veins and is staying there. My head feels ever so slightly like it's in a lion's mouth, not being chewed upon but simply being compressed. And something in my stomach has apparently died. Did I die? I had been aiming for it with my drinking, maybe this is what being dead feels like.

Only... It feels warm. Warm, soft, and beautiful. What I am resting on is more beautiful than any bed could ever be. Surely it cannot be the product of hell, which is where I am certainly destined to go, right? I of all people cannot have found my way to Paradise, even if this wonderful thing I lay upon suggests I have. The five gods decide who goes to Paradise, and I've found a way to earn the ire of six of them... It seems almost a little unfair, now that I'm considering it, that the gods decide your soul's eternal afterlife. Surely it gives them an unreasonable amount of power if they can poison the very concept of forever if you don't conform to their standards, their normal... I never really gave these questions any thought before. But somehow, the possibility of a good afterlife has brought them to me. Strange that. This warm, soft, beautiful something has me very concerned about the prospect of eternity. This warm, soft, giggling something- Giggling?

My eyes shoot open, still not quite my own but at least in agreement with me. Beds don't giggle, Paradise doesn't giggle... Presumably. I catch a glimpse of the divine thing upon which I lay, and I find that it's Theophania. I appear to have fallen asleep with my head nestled onto her chest. And she appears to be as happy waking up to it as I am utterly enchanted. I feel a hand stroking my hair, I can almost taste Theophania's smile... I can almost taste Her Majesty in Theophania's smile.

"Good morning, Sir Serena. Hehe, did you sleep well?"

I try to scramble up to give Princess Theophania space, and to escape from that twisted, jagged nostalgia... Only, my limbs are not up to the task of freeing me from this wonderful comfort. The best they manage is a dull and ridiculous flailing before finding their way to Theophania's sides. Forcing myself to leave her alone clearly isn't working…

Maybe I could convince her to remove my head from her chest. "I... I did. Did you sleep well?"

My tongue is a little clumsy, but I’m able to speak coherently enough. I imagine I'm likely alive, I would prefer not to think that Princess Theophania died with me somehow and we ended up in eternity together. So this feeling, this weakened, unpleasant feeling coursing through me... What is that? Some reaction to the alcohol? ... Is it just how it feels to be cast aside by Her Majesty? Does it poison me so?

"I slept perfectly, Sir Serena. Hehe, you helped make sure of that." A lyrical little giggle, Theophania sounds so very much like Her Majesty at her most radiant. "Having my knight close at hand, I knew full well that I would be safe."

"She... Your knight was also selfishly laying atop you, surely that wasn't especially comfortable-"

"Oh it was very comfortable." She's blushing, though I can't help but read something a little sharp in her voice. "Remarkably comfortable. Honestly she could stand to be a little more selfish."

I audibly swallow, this isn't good. I’m blushing now, and more to the point I am not in any way being moved off of Princess Theophania. I’m trapped with her softness, her warmth, her beauty... Her scent... All so very similar to Her Majesty's. It hurts. I can't tolerate this desire, I cannot abide my horrible projection of my sinful want for Her Majesty onto her daughter. It isn't fair. It isn't fair to want her.

"You know, we have time this morning, my knight." Princess Theophania shifts subtly underneath me, and I can feel every single motion. "Time in which you could be a little more selfish."

... There is no one left that I can pray to. How am I going to escape this? I want to kiss and bite and touch and sin against the girl beneath me, and no god will forgive me for it. No god will deliver me from it. Please... Someone... Help-

"Serena! Breakfast is ready!"

I love Celeste. I truly do... I feel like we spoke about something very important last night, something that makes this admission cut a little deeper than it otherwise would, but at least I can get through the morning without hurting someone again. I've been rescued from my very own princess.

"Oh! And Serena's friend? You're free to join us too." Was that... Bitterness? "If you want. You're not obligated to."

Theophania for her part looks disappointed, boldly craving something as bad for her as I am. What has to happen to a person to make my sinful, disgusting self an appealing option to them? Where my selfishness becomes desirable? ... Where they want me to hurt them. In any case, Theophania reluctantly removes herself from beneath me, straightens out her clothes, and put on her shawl.

"I think we shouldn't leave them waiting, Sir Serena... Ah! Just so you know, I'll be pretending to just be some girl you know, so I won't be calling you by the proper term. I'm sorry about that, it's just part of the disguise!"

She genuinely does seem remorseful, like she's done me a great disservice by briefly not calling me by her nickname for me. Oh no, it's adorable and I want to be reassuring. Why must trying to do the right thing make people so upset? ... Surely being a little kind won't be too unhealthy for her, right?

I roll my way out of bed, and find that I am able to rely on my legs for the most part. I feel a little shaky, but I've done more difficult things in the past, I can do this. My arms appear to be up to the task of gently brushing a thumb over her cheek, and my mouth is still able to smile somehow.

"I understand, Princess Theophania... I still know what's in your heart."

That melting blush and languid smile makes me think I may have overdone it. I guess there really is time for my selfishness this morning, every inch I give myself turns into a mile. And every mile I take makes Theophania beam... She's going to run away from home, from the biggest and most significant home in Avernia, just to be with me. And I can't even say no, because it's this or be at the mercy of the mob. I sincerely hope my very existence isn't the thing that invites conflict, otherwise I am the one who has condemned Princess Theophania to having no other options…

Theophania gently kisses my thumb, a very odd thing to do that doesn't seem to read to her as in any way unusual. "We'd best get down then. Right, Serena?"

"Yeah... Let's."

It’s a very odd thing to do, but it’s one that sets my heart aflutter. Because I am an incredibly odd girl, and I simply cannot have normal reactions to things. Theophania takes my hand. I feel the need to try and spare her from it, but I am still a little unsteady on my legs. It simply will not do to fall down the stairs now, so I need her hand. Theophania leads me down the stairs, mumbling nonsense to herself the entire journey, making some rather odd breaths... What is happening?

She at least makes sure to stop this bizarre behavior before Auguste and Celeste see her, the two of them sitting together at their end of the table. No newspaper, simply holding hands and waiting for us... Celeste gestures to the seat next to her with a smile, clearly inviting me to be 'part of the family' one last time. I comply, and Theophania takes the seat next to me...

Wait, what am I supposed to call her? Everyone here knows I'm Serena, but the whole point of this is for no one to know that she is Theophania, surely! As trustworthy as Auguste and Celeste are, they are still involved with The Convention of Humanity. I don't trust our other government to be particularly kind to an Auguste who has secret knowledge about where the Princess of the country has fled to. Theophania can't be thinking of just telling them, can she? She has a plan, right?

Gods I wish I knew it. Then I'd know how to answer Auguste's inquiries. "So... Serena. Your new friend seems nice. Where did you two meet?"

I feel woefully unprepared for all of this. Could I even be prepared enough for this? It's lying, I'm very bad at lying! And Celeste can't save me this time, she's looking at my 'new friend' with a keen scrutiny. Oh no... What do I do?

"We met in Triumph Square." Theophania takes the lead, squeezing my hand under the table, letting me know to let her handle it. "She rescued me from those freak Germans, the ones who started shootin' and slashin' up the place. It was awful! I wouldn't have made it through without 'er."

It’s genuinely quite amazing. Theophania's voice... Isn't Theophania's. She sounds like someone else entirely, a perfect mimicry of a rural peasant girl, a much better performance than last night’s. Not precisely the kind of thing you expect in a big city like Alesia, but also far from the princess of a High Kingdom. And she lies so confidently it’s hard not to be impressed!

"Hehe, our Serena is a hero." Celeste leans into me a little, but doesn't take her eyes off Theophania. "And she's very prone to making friends with her heroics."

"She’s very dashing and gallant and the like." Theophania nods her approval at Celeste, the two are talking past me, about me. "Almost made the horror worth it, to be saved by such a charmin' sort."

"I'll bet... Forgive me, mademoiselle, but Auguste and I never got your name."

"Oh! I'm Melissa Mentir. Just a girl you'd find anywhere." Theophania beams, something about giving the fake name makes her very happy. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, madam-"

"Celeste Rosierte." There’s a smile on her lips, but it’s a calculating one. "Mentir... That's a Celtiberian family name, isn't it? Seems odd to see an Iberian girl in Alesia, certainly under these

circumstances."

"Oh! There's actually a fascinatin' story behind that! Y'see, my grandparents were Celtabarian freedom fighters, trying to throw off the shackles of Carthaginian rule. They failed, but they managed to send their kids to Taranteux on a fishing boat before they were captured and executed. Pa found work on a farm in the outskirts of Alesia, and I help sell produce in the city! I promise, the Mentir's are good, rural folk, and are proud of our new home!" Theophania turns to look at me, as if requesting praise for this backstory she's written for herself.

Oh no, I can't resist that look. "Hehe, Melissa here sure has some stories. She's definitely... Very storied."

"She certainly is." Celeste seems to be struggling to process all of that, having been just a little bit stunned into silence.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

Theophania cuts up a morsel of food and gives a smile as she eats it, despite how pedestrian it must be compared to her usual fare. "Madam Celeste, you have done me a kindness by letting me join you for such a lovely breakfast."

This dulls Celeste's edge a little... Just a little. "Please, just Celeste. And Auguste did just as much of the cooking as I did."

"Then thank you too, Monsieur Auguste!"

Theophania knows exactly what she is doing. Auguste is a man who is proud of his cooking skills, my princess is pressing all the right points to make them like her. She’s... Good at this. Not just pretending to be someone else, but pretending to be someone charming and likable. A difficult thing to pull off, I wonder if my brother could learn a thing or two from her. Malmo certainly could.

Auguste is trying his best not to smile from ear to ear, looking down at his plate as if it would somehow disprove the compliment. "Well, any friend of Serena's is basically family. Of course we'd cook for you."

"Awww, I'm part of the family!" Theophania rests her head on my shoulder, getting in close. "Hehe, did you hear that, Serena?"

I can't quite tell what the strategy behind this is. It only aggravates Celeste more, pressing the exact wrong points with her... Maybe this isn't a strategic move? Maybe she just really wants her head on my shoulder. It is pleasant, even if everything in the world makes me feel too anxious to properly enjoy it.

"It's... It's a very good family to be part of." I try to smile in spite of everything, and clearly I'm a better liar than I thought because I manage it. "One I'm proud to be with."

"Oh, you charmer." Celeste can't help but smile, can't help but stroke my hair with an almost motherly concern. "It's been an honor to have you, Serena. I hope we can host you again when you return from Samnia."

The table takes on a more somber atmosphere after that. Oh right, this is goodbye for now, isn't it? We eat slowly, as if it will somehow increase the time we get together. Theophania is quiet, not wanting to rob any more of the Rosiertes’ time with me, especially since this isn't a goodbye for her... I can't leave the table with this kind of feeling. I owe Celeste and Auguste more than that.

"I'll just have to conquer Samnia in a hurry, that way I can come visit again." I smile, I'm giving the most 'Serena' plan I can think of. "And if they send me further east, I'll just have to conquer the Magyars. And the Germans. And even the Golden Kingdom of Novgorod if I must! Hehe... I won't be gone long, I promise."

"Hehehe, I believe you." I'm not entirely certain that Celeste in fact believes me, but she seems to appreciate the 'Serena-ness' of my plan regardless of whether or not I can actually enact it. "I know we'll be seeing you again soon."

Auguste is about to speak his agreement but is interrupted by a knock at the door, turning whatever sentiment he held into a mild grimace. "I guess that's them, come to take you away."

"In the middle of breakfast, how rude!" Theophania sticks her tongue out in the direction of the door, something which somehow manages to make both of the Rosiertes laugh. "I'm half tempted to tell them to rack off till we're done."

"If the army let us do that then Serena would never go anywhere." A little giggle from Celeste... A sad little giggle. "Haaah. And if there were no partings, then there would be no second meetings, right?"

I nod, and I notice just how difficult it has become to not cry. I'm going to miss this place. Despite all the awkwardness- Maybe even in part because of the awkwardness, I'm going to miss Auguste and Celeste. I'm going to miss their dining table, I'm going to miss having someone to come home to. I'm going to miss this family I'd stumbled my way into. I should stand up, I should try my best to face whoever is at the door with dignity. To give Auguste and Celeste one last look at the dignified general they allowed into their lives. I get to my feet... And I really, really want to hold Celeste right now.

Auguste, Celeste, and Theophania rise to their feet as well, they're all walking me to the door. It's a little awkward for four people to navigate as one through the house, but we manage it all the same. I take a deep breath, I open the door...

And Antoine appears to be having a staring match with Pasche, apparently having gotten off on the wrong foot near immediately... I had expected soldiers ready to load me into a carriage, to take me to a mustering ground and prepare to get the soldiers to march. Something impersonal and dull, but easy. This... Is none of those things.

"Mademoiselle Pasche, I appreciate your enthusiasm but this is my sister we're talking about. I don't think I can just leave her in the hands of someone I don't know. Someone who may not know her nearly as well as she claims to. My sister is a public figure now, she's bound to have some enemies."

"That you could even suggest that I would be an enemy of my... Of Serena! I ought to teach you a thing or two about respect and loyalty, Monsieur Pollineux!"

"I think I'm more than justified in being a little cavalier in the defense of my sister!"

"Well I'm more than justified being a little cuirassier for the honor of my girl- General!"

... Well, at least I might soon learn if Pasche can beat Antoine in a fight... But I won't allow that lesson to take place right this second. "Antoine, stop antagonizing Pasche! Pasche! ... Good morning."

"Oh! Good morning, Serena!" Pasche quickly turns her attention my way, dropping my brother's existence from her mind. "It's a pleasure to- ... Good morning, Serena's companion."

Pasche's sudden emotional setback gave Antoine room to speak, which was a problem when he insisted on pushing things. "Ah, Serena! You know this ruffian?"

"I happen to be best friends with this ruffian- This brave and noble knight." I have to stifle a giggle, and oddly enough so does Pasche, even as she is apparently just a little displeased at being called a 'best friend'. "And I'm glad she's come to see me before being sent to Samnia."

"And after, of course." Pasche is mumbling, but she's mumbling loudly and boldly enough for me to hear it. "I'm coming with you."

"Wait, aren't you still with the Army of the East? Taking leave is one thing, isn't this dereliction of duty?"

"The High King did just die, Serena. High Command is too busy trying to purge Royalists from the army to care that one cuirassier somewhere wants to serve her country in a different place. And if they do care, they're more than welcome to try sacrificing me for it."

"No they certainly are not." Now I'm mumbling, and before I know it my shaky legs are making a stern walk towards my knight. "No one is going to sacrifice someone I care about. I won't allow it."

"Serena..." Pasche looks about to embrace me, before she catches sight of Theophania, who has apparently followed me to her. "... Seriously, Serena, who is this?"

Theophania beams, taking a deep breath and a proper stance. "Ah! I'm Melissa Mentir, it's a pleasure to meetcha! I'm just a local peasant girl who Serena-"

"She's Princess Theophania." I cut my Princess off, and immediately feel bad about ruining her fun. "She's coming with us as my new publicist."

Theophania looks betrayed, pouting in my direction with genuine, actual annoyance. "Hey! I was just getting to the good part!"

Oh no, she's still adorable. "I really appreciate your ability to act, my Princess... But I do not want you to lie to Pasche or my other companions. I want you to trust them, and for them to trust you. Understood?"

"... I understand." She's still pouting.

I reach up and pat her on the head. She's slightly taller than me, just like Her Majesty. It hurts, I have to force myself to not recoil my hand at the realization. It makes my arm ache to try and hold my ground. I try to wrap up my affection and withdraw, before this intensity causes me to do something rash. My Princess least appreciates the gesture, finally giving me a smile again. I love her smile. It hurts.

Speaking of hurt, Pasche looks about ready to hurt someone at my little admission. "Serena, are we kidnapping a Princess? Are we kidnapping our nation's princess?!"

"If we are, I think you'd want to be a little quieter about it, so as to not get my sister into any more trouble than she's already in." Antoine takes the opportunity to get a jab in at Pasche, which cements in her mind who she’s going to hurt first.

"More trouble?! She's kidnapped a member of the Royal Family! ... Where did you even find the time, it's been a day!" The rage is intense. And short-lived, soon collapsing into a melancholic exhaustion. "Why do you keep doing things that are going to get you killed? I keep asking you not to..."

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't die. I thought it would be a simple enough oath."

Things are quiet for a moment, until Princess Theophania of all people raises her voice, staring right at Pasche. "I was not kidnapped, Mademoiselle Pasche. And I resent that you would accuse my knight of such! I came to her chambers for protection of my own volition, and this is her method of protecting me. She is doing me a kindness, she didn't kidnap me!"

"So she's just helping you run away from home then. That's still dangerous-" Pasche's resigned despair seems to be cut through in an instant as she picks up on something. "Wait, you were in her room?"

"Yes? I snuck in through a window and waited for her. Why does that matter?"

"It matters a lot! For... Reasons!"

"What reasons?"

"My reasons!"

The two are glaring at each other now, and leaving me wondering why the people I care about just can't seem to get along. It's enough to make a girl despair, that everyone I like, everyone who starts to like me, seems to make everyone else I like unhappy. Maybe I really do invite conflict just by existing. Maybe I've done awful things to more than just Theophania... I have no one left to pray to, but I can at least violently and intensely hope that the actual army shows up soon to take me away from all this.

What approaches is not the army- well, not the army I’m expecting. Marching down the city street towards me are a few hundred butchers, with Katarina at the head of them, walking alongside Xena. How did I manage to briefly, blissfully forget that an entire cannibal mercenary company was following me around? Judging from the slapdash state of their supply wagons they had to pack up their new base in Alesia very quickly. I guess someone must have passed the news around of my new assignment and now everyone knew where to follow me. I should have told everyone... But I had to sprint up a hill and hurt someone dear to me, and be forsaken by my patron goddess. It all seems so stupid, yet it still hurts a great deal. But I can't let that show on my face, or we might never get anywhere. Right now I have to pretend to be at least a little bit 'all together', a little composed. A little bit normal.

So I smile at Katarina and Xena's approach, trying to keep nothing in my mind beyond making it through this morning alive. "Xena. Katarina... Thank you for coming with me... I assume. This isn't just a big, elaborate goodbye, is it?"

Xena whispers something in German to Katarina, which provokes one of the bear woman’s horrifying laughs before she shakes her head. "You paid. With you."

Antoine is awestruck upon seeing Katarina, not that I can blame him. She's a terrifying thing to learn exists, and is very hard not to see. Except Antoine doesn't seem scared in the slightest. He's as fascinated by Katarina as Xena is.

"... Sis, I must confess, I assumed you were joking about the bear woman." He takes a step forward, scrutinizing her form closely. "But you neglected to tell me that she was such a beauty."

Antoine steps close enough for Xena to flick him on the forehead for his impudence. "No. Leering at people is bad."

"But I leer at people all the time! I count it among my hobbies!"

Antoine's protest earns him another flick, along with an exasperated sigh from Xena. "Then you'll have to count being punished among your hobbies because I won't let you leer at Katarina."

Katarina for her part doesn't seem to mind the leering, being more confused by Antoine's interest in her than in any way offended. Still, Antoine backs down, finding Xena to be the more fearsome of the two... Every day is going to be like this, huh? My brother annoying my friends, my friends annoying each other. I'll have to pull double duty, both as a general of men and a herder of cats... Maybe it will at least be lively. At least it'll be a distraction.

Finally, mercifully, a carriage arrives for me, flanked by soldiers accompanied by a very familiar, and now very confused messenger. The rest of my life could finally begin, I’m not stuck here anymore. I make my way to the carriage... And find myself taking one last glimpse of the Rosiertes’ home, my home in Alesia. I'll miss this place. I'll miss the people in it. I'll miss being one of the people in it…

And I'll return alive. I'll see them again.