I wake up on an infirmary bed, and find my surroundings oddly quiet. No hustle and bustle, no screaming, no crying or praying. It’s empty. I suppose not many soldiers survived their wounds in that last battle.

It’s not silent however, I hear talking from the next bed over, separated from me by a white sheet. It’s Xena, she’s chastising Pasche for thinking she’s bulletproof. At this point she might actually be, but I appreciate Xena advising caution regardless. I don’t want anyone savaging Pasche like that, I don’t want her getting hurt for me. My desire to bite and scratch and push and press her down notwithstanding, she deserves all the happiness in the world. Not scars, not wounds, not teeth.

Xena leaves Pasche’s bedside, and slips through the curtain to check on me. I half expect her to flick my head for having been so stupid, but no such discipline comes.

“Serena I didn’t find any wounds on you. Are you okay?” Xena sounds more worried for me being completely unharmed.

“I think so.” My body feels heavy, and I have some passive awareness that anything that reminds me of Lazierte will make me scream. “Relatively. Like the eye of a storm, I suppose.”

“I can understand that.” She spends a few moments simply staring at my body, looking lost. “I can yell at your brother more if that will help your mood.”

I chuckle; I’m tempted to accept her offer. “I think he finds it amusing when you do it.”

“Haaaah, my anger only concerns the people I care about. I guess Antoine knows I won’t actually melt him into slurry, so long as he doesn’t go too far with Katarina.”

“You don’t think Katarina would break every bone in his body first? If he upset her?”

“He’s your brother, Serena. I don’t think she’d be able to kill your brother. That and she likes the braggart, somehow, despite having no idea what he’s saying. She wants to learn Avernian so she can speak to her friends, the Pollineuxes.”

“Are you teaching her?”

“... I must confess I don’t much like the language.” Is Xena dodging a question?!

This is serious… But I think I’d still like to speak to Katarina. “Then, could you teach me German?”

Xena nods, and casts her eyes to the floor. “I’d like that a great deal. I must confess I’d prefer to vet who does and does not speak with Katarina. Your brother isn’t especially considerate or subtle about her circumstances. I imagine it would cause Katarina considerable distress to actually know what he’s saying. Meanwhile you… Well, you’ve made promises that I expect you to keep.”

Not speculating about Katarina… Xena is genuinely terrified. I wonder if she’s been sleeping more recently.

“And that I will… I don’t know what this is about but you’re clearly concerned about Katarina, and I trust you to know how best to protect her.”

“That makes one of us…” Xena reaches into a pocket of her apron and produces a piece of scrap paper, as well as a familiar looking package, handing both to me. “I envy you, Serena Pollineux. There’s a kind of sickness every person has in them, that you can treat while I cannot. So… Consider that to be a prescription.”

I take the paper, unfolding it curiously, reading it to myself as Xena slips back out through the curtain.

“Serena. I believe that Pasche needs to speak to you, and that you need to speak to her as well. Know that I am happy no matter where that conversation goes. Just try not to aggravate her wounds too much. Love, Xena.”

Xena really is the smartest woman I know. She’s right, I do need to speak with Pasche. And she’s only a single curtain away. I check the package, it’s the one that tailor in Medhelanon had slipped amongst our purchased dresses. I open it… Underwear. Purple underwear, nice silky feel… Now that’s irresponsible of Xena, how is Pasche going to avoid aggravating her wounds if I’m wearing these? I suppose I’ll just have to be especially careful with her. No biting, no pushing, no marking. Just talking. Surely just talking.

I rise to my feet, the heavy feeling in my limbs has gone away, and certain sad topics are far from my mind! Definitely very far, Pasche deserves my full attention. I remove my white hospital dress and change back into my uniform, along with the new undergarments. Now properly attired, I slip through the curtain, and see Pasche lying upon her hospital bed, reading an old history textbook. She’s wearing a thin white nightdress, one I can see through just a little…

There are bandages over her stomach and her left arm… Concealing new wounds, no doubt. Future scars, future marks. My poor, long-suffering Pasche.

“Oh… Hey Serena…” Pasche puts the book down and gives me her full attention, her countenance fragile… Vulnerable. “I uhh… I’m glad you’re okay.”

I audibly swallow, staring at my savaged Pasche. More than just the bandages, I get a tantalizing impression of unblemished skin beneath the nightdress, bits of her that have been unmarked by enemy action. Bits that can be mine… I was doing something, what was I doing again?

I pull out the little piece of paper Xena gave me to remind myself why I came here again. “Pasche, we need to talk.”

“Yeah… I know.” Pasche is struggling to keep her eyes on me. “I umm… I’m happy for you and Xena, I really am. And Lucretia, whatever is going on there, I uhhh… I’m happy that you’re happy.”

Pasche is sitting up, the nightgown’s neckline is just a little loose, and gives a glimpse of her skin below. She’s wearing a brasserie. It’s infuriating me and I would like to get rid of it. At least the flesh beneath is likely pristine, there are no bandages over her chest after all.

“I’m sorry about Medhelanon. I didn’t mean to displease you. Honestly, I’m not sure who I am without you… I suppose that I’m the Baron of Etrun without you, but I don’t know who that is.”

The hem on that dress is fairly high as well, giving an excellent view of her muscular, unblemished thighs. There’d be a little bite to those, a bit of toughness. I imagine it would feel heavenly to run my nails upon that skin, and to hear Pasche squeal at the touch.

“I just… Ever since you saved me, you’ve been the most important thing in my life. I know I can’t be the most important thing in yours, but it still hurts…”

She’s almost certainly wearing undergarments, I haven’t much considered Pasche’s peculiar anatomy, but I know it plays a role in my feverish dreamings. I know it has a feminine aura about it… I’m curious how it feels.

“I uhh… Serena? Are you listening?” Pasche snaps her fingers, looking at me with concern. “Serena, aren’t you going to say something?”

I walk forward and take her cheeks in my hands. Before she can say anything, I kiss her. Before she can even register this, I slip my tongue into her mouth. Seeing her is hard without kissing her, I’ll be trying to do less of that.

Pasche’s arms are firmly at her sides. She’s desperately confused by my conduct, but her tongue does move with mine. She can’t quite control everything, even if she tries. Makes her a great deal like me in that fashion, there are limits to how much we can resist one another.

She does pull away eventually, breathing heavily, staring at me with every human emotion. “Serena… What the hell-”

“I said I had to talk to you. And that’s something I needed to say.” I’m smiling, trying to put her at ease, but I am just a little bit displeased that she pulled away from me. “I have a lot more to say than that of course.”

“I… I mean, I’m happy to… Hear it?” Pasche looks very cute when she’s confused. “But, you’re with Xena! Or Lucretia! I’m not sure which but either way you’re happy! With someone who isn’t me! … Didn’t I lose you?”

I crawl upon Pasche’s bed so she can no longer pull away from me. I make my way up her form, planting a leg on either side of her body and a hand on either side of her head. She shrinks just a little bit beneath me… I’ve left the poor girl terrified of this, haven’t I? By rebuffing her advances, by being so cruel. I have to fix this, I have to make her comfortable. Having her be mine means nothing if she is not happily mine.

I kiss her cheek, she really is speaking too much right now. "That's just it, you didn't 'lose' anything. At least, you needn't lose anything if you don't want to."

"I don't get it. Are... Are you planning to leave Xena for me? I won't allow that, Xena is a precious friend and-"

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

"And I'm not leaving her. I love her, and I love you. I love Theophania, I love... Loved, Lazierte." I swallow something which threatens to kill this moment, it is still difficult to refer to my very first best friend in the past tense. "And I am rather smitten with both Mademoiselle Delphine and President Lucretia, it must be said."

"All... Those women? All of them?"

"All of them, and also you! Pasche, I want you to be mine and I want to be yours. Entirely yours! Only... I want to not be only entirely yours. I want to be entirely Xena's too. And entirely Theophania's, and a twelfth Lucretia’s and maybe some proportion of my Icenian rival's. That one I'm still a bit confused about-"

"But... That doesn't make mathematical sense, Serena-aaaahh!"

I bite her collarbone this time. I make a mental note to bite her every time she dares try to bring math into this.

It has the desired effect, cutting off Pasche's pedantry in an instant. "... Is Xena okay with this?"

"She encouraged it, so long as I don’t hurt you too badly. This is a part of me, this desire to wholeheartedly be with so many, and she wants me to be myself... And Anastasia taught me that life is a fickle thing, that there are simply too many ways we can die at any time to not take what we want now." I decide to omit Mademoiselle Delphine's little theory that there is no afterlife, it would perhaps be a little inappropriate right now. "You've said you love me before. You even offered to be my brave and noble knight, to make me your personal princess... I want you to know what that means... And I want you to tell me that you love me still, knowing exactly what that means."

Pasche is quiet for an oddly long time after that, trying to figure something out in her head... Honestly it’s enough to make my confidence begin to wane, and for anxiety to start to chip away at my desire. It’s becoming unbearable, and part of me wants to slip away from her. A small part of me prefers rejection over anticipation... But I stay. I will get my answer, it doesn't matter if my stomach feels like a deep pit full of bees, and if my limbs itch to act. I'll wait as long as Pasche needs.

"... This just feels a little sudden..." Pasche sounds unsure, and I know her well enough by now to know she isn't being entirely candid with me, or herself.

And I know that she needs to be forced just a little, so she knows she’s allowed to be honest. "This has been a long time coming. It's been overdue since at least our trip to the tailor shop in Medhelanon, Pasche. I know you think so too, or else you'd not have put on that little black dress."

"Heh... I guess that makes sense..." Pasche seems to fondly regard the memory... Until something hits her countenance like a brick wall. "... It's like it was with Xena all over again, with her new medication. You're right, this isn't too sudden. No amount of preparation was going to give me the ability to handle this. I just... Another thing I had resigned myself to, yet another fact of the universe I simply had to accept and move on from, has just shattered before my eyes in a way I never even conceptualized as possible! ... Why do you people keep doing that?!"

She's crying... But she is also laughing just a little... And suddenly my arms keeping her trapped on this bed are holding her closely. My second-ever best friend is crying and I want to comfort her. To offer her a shoulder to cry on. To show her this is okay.

And to laugh with her, because I love her. "We keep breaking the world for you because you are worth it. There is nothing else to it, Pasche."

I quickly feel her arms around me as well, she’s holding me tightly. “You… Hehe, you really did leave me wondering for a long while. Left me alone with a lot of painful nights. I know you were hurt, you were unwell but… I’m sorry that I couldn’t stop wanting you before you were ready. I’m sorry that it hurt when you weren’t able to be mine.”

“Pasche…” I consider her words… And then bite her earlobe playfully. “I mistreated you. I was cruel. I wanted you the entire time and my stupid pain convinced me that was wrong. You are allowed to be angry, you’re owed a little fury. And… I think you’re owed an awful lot of my understanding.”

Pasche spends a moment considering, before giving her best attempt at a ‘wicked’ grin. "Well, if you really think you owe me something, then you better promise to be entirely mine, even if you're entirely someone else's too. You're offering me a miracle here and I want it to be a good one!"

I giggle, she’s so cute when she’s demanding! "I'll promise that if you promise to never, ever die-"

"I will never, ever die."

She's smiling... She's being about as sincere as I typically am when someone has me make that exact same promise. But I'll take it. And I'll be entirely hers in return. And the first step of that is kissing her again. This kiss is softer, less hungry, less overcome with a boiling passion left to simmer for months too long.

At least, it starts that way.

The hunger soon rocks my body again. It was barely suppressed when I was trying to respect Pasche's ability to say no, and it is now unbridled for a wanting Pasche. I bite her lip and revel in the sensation of my teeth against her... And in her subsequent little squeak.

Pasche pulls away to breath, and to giggle in delight. “Hehe, all the wounds I’ve taken in your service, and you’re still willing to add to them? Someone who didn’t love it might just be offended.”

She loves it, huh? Perhaps this is why she keeps getting herself hurt for me, because this is precisely what she wants. I guess that makes all her scars and wounds my marks in a way, doesn’t it? … But I am not going to forgive anyone who dared mar her skin like this. My teeth are what will bring her this bliss.

I want her skin now. “Pasche, are you going to remove that nightdress? Or will I tear it off you?"

I follow my little question with a bite to Pasche's earlobe, which draws a perfect little yelp from the girl as she struggles to slip herself out of her thin little clothing. I was looking forward to tearing the flimsy material apart and leaving Pasche in nothing but tatters.

I can’t be disappointed with the result though, seeing her in just her underthings has me almost delirious. I can do all the things I wanted to do to her in Medhelanon, can’t I? The first thing I want to do is remove that brasserie, to see her pristine chest and make it mine.

I undo her hooks and throw Pasche's brassiere into the surrounding curtains, exposing her small but growing breasts to me... Pasche sounds nervous, making soft, little, anxious noises as I stare transfixed... It’s beautiful...

And it will be indulged. I lean my head down to kiss Pasche’s chest, softly and slowly, gently breathing on her nipple. If I were with Xena I’d simply surrender to my passions entirely, kiss and bite and lick and lose myself entirely in its magnificence but Pasche… I want to take my time. I want to savor the flesh and the screams.

Pasche shudders as I give my delicate ministrations, a kiss, a lick, a breath, a little tonguing of her nipple… And finally, a bite to her delicate flesh, determined to leave a mark. As soon as my teeth are upon her I am hooked, and soon that mark is joined by another, a third, a fourth, and soon I have left a constellation of purple and red upon her breasts, each ‘star’ coming with its own perfect moan.

I feel Pasche's hands upon my arms, and for a moment I’m worried she’s trying to make me stop... But no such order comes. "Serena... Don't you feel a little... Overdressed?"

I feel almost like laughing, I’ve kept my uniform jacket on this entire time and my dress is still entirely buttoned up. Ridiculous behavior, I quickly throw the jacket aside to join Pasche’s brasserie, and am about to reach for my buttons, before realizing…

"Pasche. Could you help me with these?" I gesture to my dress with the most sinful grin I can muster. "I have the worst habit of tearing clothes that get in my way."

Pasche eagerly complies, undoing my buttons with an almost hypnotized zeal... At least until my chest is visible, giving her a good look at the underthings I chose to wear to this. The shocked desire in Pasche’s eyes makes it clear I made the right choice with these. I want Pasche to have the very best of me, after all, especially since she's been waiting for so, so very long.

She undoes the next button very slowly, utterly enraptured by the sight of me... Before skipping the rest of my dress and going right to my brasserie. Which seems odd to me given how pretty it is, but I am not going to deny myself Pasche's touch. I slip my arms out of my dress, letting it fall lazily to my sides, pooling around my hips as I straddle Pasche. My bra is soon off of me, and my rather unimpressive chest is exposed to Pasche's eyes-

"Serena... I love you."

... She looks upon my form with such wonderment and joy that I can't help but be enchanted by her gaze. I couldn't help but feel her sincerity... I feel beautiful.

And I am going to make Pasche feel beautiful. I quickly leaned down to kiss her again, my chest pressed against hers... And all the while I reach down to slip Pasche’s firmness free of her underthings. She freezes for a moment, realizing what I am reaching for, but I kiss her deeply as I run my hand over it, getting a feel for this particular bit of Pasche. It’s soft, there’s a tenderness, and it’s provoking such lovely shudders from the girl beneath me. And still, Pasche is nervous about it.

I throw out my magic and envelop her in it, I want her to be brave and I want her to be her.. "Pasche... It's okay. You can do anything you like... I want it."

She slowly reaches her hand down my sides, only stopping when her fingers reach my undergarments.

"Serena... Are you sure?" She hesitates, we both know that if I said no she will die, but she clearly feels obligated to let me kill her if I want to.

And she just promised me she'd never die too, Pasche is silly. "I'm sure, Pasche. Every single part of you is something that I want."

A beautiful something snaps in Pasche, and soon she has my underthings off of me. I hadn't truly appreciated just how utterly soaked they were until they were pulled off my form. I wonder if such good purple fabric is wasted on me... I feel Pasche's tip enter me, and I don't wonder much of anything after that. All the rest is bites and kisses, whines and moans, and breathless professions of love... And finally orgasm.

Pasche tries to pull away at the final second, but I don't let her. I want all of her, I will not be denied this. And with that, Pasche is spent beneath me, panting and struggling to breathe in the afterglow. I get a good look at her, the panting mess that she is, and I marvel at the marks I have given her, sitting alongside her battle scars... I will have anyone else in the world who has hurt Pasche tied to a cannon and blasted to pieces. Her body is my canvas, no one else will be allowed to make their mark. She looks so... Vulnerable, gasping for breath beneath me. It’s thrilling.

"I..." Pasche can barely form words, rasping out vaguely incoherent babblings. "Marie never... She was so gentle... But I think I needed that."

She’s smiling up at me warmly, I swear I see her mouth 'I love you' in between all the manic breathing. A very lovely sentiment, one which I try to reciprocate. But those aren't the words that leave my mouth.

"Again."

Pasche's panting stops abruptly as she tries to process my words. "I... What-"

"Again." She’s still inside me, my hips simply have to begin moving again.

"But that was- How are you-"

"Again."

Pasche tries to give a feeble protest, but I kiss her before she can manage it. It has taken us so long to get to this point, I have wasted so much time up until now, so we are going again.

And again, and again, and again.