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The Great Erectus and Faun
The Cuddle From Out of Space, A Deliverance Day Extravaganza!

The Cuddle From Out of Space, A Deliverance Day Extravaganza!

The bonfires were lit and burning merrily sending up plumes of traditional black smoke as the Vtaun wandered around happily, around the fair that was set up among the pillars of smoky flame.

Games and food stalls, and shops selling all sorts of festival goods abounded, each in an artfully crafted “wreck” made of wood and cloth, the nicest of which even had smoky torches burning within them, giving the whole affair a wonderful holiday feel.

Children ran around with brightly colored “tentacles” made of colored and flavored sugar (a lot of the adults too).

“Crazy dancers” capered about as they made hooting noises, many practicing all year for this most sacred of holiday seasons…

Deliverance Day!!! The day the Goddess of a Billion Hugs heard their prayers and saved them from the evil Kmakth.

Face painters dotted the faces of young and old alike with numerous eyes and fanciful designs, some of the more daring baring most of their bodies to make room for even more eyes.

Wearing long ribbons, festival goers ran about waving them furiously “embracing” friend and stranger alike for tonight there were no strangers, just “joy”!

Fireworks randomly shot skyward creating huge booming noises and bright sparks. Others whizzed through the night making loud wailing screams before bursting into long tendrils of flame as everyone danced with delight to the atonal wailing of hundreds randomly blowing into flutes, kazoos, and slide-whistles.

Oops! Someone caught themselves on fire.

It happened every year, multiple times.

People rushed out with fire extinguishers and promptly put them out, whisking them off to medical personnel who drew the short tentacle this year (or bartered away their priceless day off).

“Sorry, joy-brother,” a doctor wearing a hat with dozens of brightly colored wires poking out of it, (a gift from his son), “You are going to have to go to the hospital.”

“I’m fine!” the scorched reveler insisted.

“And I’m happy to be looking after your stupid bottom instead of catching myself on fire tonight,” the doctor laughed as he strapped the worshiper to the stretcher (experience had taught them to do that). “Off you go!”

“But I’ll miss it!”

“You can watch it on TV from the Emergency Room,” the doctor laughed.

”I’m FINE!!!” the worshiper roared. ”LET ME GOOOOOOooo ARRRARGH!!!”

The reveler, normally a meek scribe roared and strained, fangs bared, against the “Deliverance Day” grade straps as the Doctor pulled out a syringe.

“Sleepy time for you!” he laughed as he plunged the needle into the arm of the reveler as the stout wooden frame of the stretcher started to snap.

”NOOOOOoooooooo...oo..oooooh...” the devout worshiper of She Who Loves Us wailed as his eyes rolled back into his head.

“Dream of our Savior,” the doctor smiled, shaking his head.

“I’m ok!” an elderly woman shouted as two more medics approached bearing the matronly grandmother with a broken hind leg.

“Somebody thought they could fly,” an EMT, wearing ribbons from head to toe, snickered.

“I could last year!” she exclaimed.

“Sure you could,” the doctor smiled as he pulled out another syringe…

***

A loud “air-raid” siren salvaged from the wreckage of their vile oppressors sounded.

It was time!

The crowd all singing “OooooOooooooWooooooWoooo” started moving as one towards the source of the sound, a gigantic asymmetrical “cathedral” in the center of town.

It was the pride of the region, a massive structure bearing giant eyes of stained glass and many tendrils of salvaged oppressor metal extending in all directions.

In front of the building was erected a giant stage with giant holographic displays captured from the evil oppressors projecting it into the sky above, so that all could see the Deliverance Day Pageant, considered one of the best on the entire planet.

Some had traveled from far away, making the pilgrimage to the actual site where the holy events of that glorious day took place.

Suddenly, the sky filled with explosions and screams from thousands of fireworks and the sacred air-raid siren ceased.

An expectant silence fell over the crowd.

It was about to begin!

***

The high-priest of She Who Loves Us stepped onto the stage wearing the traditional multi-eyed and tentacled outfit of the season.

“We gather here today, on this most special LIFE and JOY filled of days,” he said, “to give thanks to She Who Loves Us and to commemorate the Day of Deliverance, when she heard our cries for help and felt bad because we were so SAD.”

Praise She Who Loves Us!!! the crowd intoned.

“The being of Pure Love wandered through the sea of stars...” the priest said as he smiled.

Awww... the crowd gushed as a Jelep-drawn wagon rolled onto the stage on which was a bunch of the local children wearing brightly colored robes each holding a huge eye or waving a plush tentacle.

“Boy am I sure bored,” a young girl shouted excitedly into a microphone. “I hope something FUN happens today!”

“She Who Loves Us flew among the stars, looking for fun,” the priest intoned, “and to HER, nothing was more fun than helping others!”

Praise She Who Loves All!!!

“Oh!” the girl shouted, “What’s that?” she asked raising her eye high about her head. “It sounds like someone is SAD!”

A group of Vtaun, awkwardly wearing scorched and strangely twisted armor clearly not designed for their species marched on stage driving another group wearing rags with brightly colored ribbon “whips”.

“Yes!” the lead figure in armor yelled, “Serve us, pathetic slaves! Serve the mighty Kmakth empire, an empire so great that even your pathetic gods flee before us. Cry out to them all you want, pathetic Vtaun, they won’t help you!”

“You really shouldn’t say stuff like that!” the lead child said admonishingly as the cart rolled up.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” the lead “Kmakth” screamed as he reached into his helmet and pulled out two plush “eyes”.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

The other “Kmakth” started to scream, pulling out “eyes” and other plush “organs” from underneath their armor.

“I have been given the Kmakth because they were such jerks,” the lead child announced in a clear voice. “But I shall not destroy them, for even they deserve life! Come, wicked Kmakth. I shall save your life but you shall never bring sadness to the noble Vtaun again.”

“Noooooooooo!” the “Kmakth” screamed as they all pretended to be pulled onto the cart.

“Suddenly, the heavens were rent apart as the sky fleets of the Kmakth descended, so foolish were they that they still believed that they could stand against a GOD!” the priest narrated.

A bunch of children wearing paper mache warships ran onto the stage throwing pom-poms at the wagon.

“Pew-pew!” the children yelled as they threw the brightly colored bundles.

“Seriously?” the lead child on the wagon said dismissively and then looked downward. “Oh, you guys want to play? Ok!”

Another group of children wearing wildly colored masses of tentacles, glass eyes, and fabric ran onto the stage, half of them tripping over their bulky costumes.

“WoooowooooooOOooooooWoooo!” the children hooted as they charged the “enemy fleet”

“Aww...” the lead child proclaimed, “They like you!” she exclaimed happily as the “azatoths” ran over to the ships and hugged them, breaking the paper mache costumes.

“Love!” the azatoths yelled, “Love and Happiness! Life for Mommy!”

“And once again,” the priest intoned, “She Who Loves Everyone, even those as wicked as the vile Kmakth, did not slay them. Her pets saved the life of those on in the sky fleet and delivered them to She Who Loves Us to be redeemed.”

All of the “azatoths” ran over to the wagon and danced about it shouting “Life! Life for Mommy!”

“Oh, thank you!” the lead child proclaimed, “You are such good Azatoths!”

“Oooooo!… Rarrarrrr!… Ooooooo!” the “azatoths” yelled.

“Oh? You want to play with the rest of them?” the lead child asked. “Ok!, but remember, just the Kmakth… and bring your brothers and sisters with you. They want to play too!”

Another herd of children wearing tentacled heads and all sorts of fanciful costumes ran on stage and, along with the “azatoths” and the “enemy fleet” performed a quite nice little song and dance number singing the hymn, “Cuddles! Cuddles From the Stars!”, the children tripping over the costumes desperately trying to recreate what was seen that day only adding to the charm.

Awwww! the crowd gushed.

“And thus the evil Kmakth were no more,” the priest intoned. “Across the entire expanse of stars, not one remained.”

“We got them all, Mom!” an Azatoth said proudly. “Life! So much life for Mommy!”

“Aww, aren’t you sweet!” the lead child said, “Mommy loves all of you!”

“We love Mommy!” all of the children roared.

We love you, Mother of all things! the crowd screamed.

“Then, She Who Loves Us looked upon us and our misery,” the priest narrated.

“Oh, you poor dears,” the lead child said as the children on the wagon all turned their “eyes” to the crowd. “You have been through so much haven’t you?”

Yes! the crowd yelled.

“I will make it all better!” the child said as the light from multiple lamps offstage focused on the cart. “I shall fill you with life and you will never have to work ever again. All of your days will be filled with happiness and life! You will never die and your days will be filled with happy laughter!” The lead child raised her hands.

“Hold on!” a voice shouted from offstage.

A strange figure, wearing a crude (and very ugly) mask and a bathrobe marched onstage followed by another actor wearing robes (with two veeka melons shoved in front) and a tall “L” shaped hat with eyes on the top.

Boooooooooo! the crowd yelled

“I told you to only take out the Kmakth,” the bathrobe clad actor shouted, “Not to bring happiness to these nice people who clearly deserve it.”

You suck! the crowd yelled.

“But they are so SAD,” the lead child implored. “I want them to be happy!”

“You shouldn’t mother them so,” the bathrobe clad Vtaun said disapprovingly, “Seriously, you really shouldn’t. Besides, suffering builds character.”

No it doesn’t!!!

“But, what of their world?” the lead child asked, “It has lost so much LIFE because of the wicked Kmakth. All of the flowers are dead because of their mines and their poison spewing factories. Surely even one as heartless and cruel as you can see that.”

“Meh,” the bathrobe clad actor shrugged, “It will be fine. A few thousand years and you won’t even recognize the place.”

Asshole!!! the crowd shouted.

“Perhaps,” the robed figure next to him said meekly, “Perhaps I could help.”

The actress raised her hands and a bunch of vtaun in flower, tree, and animal costumes ran on stage.

“And the goddess, Faun,”

“She isn’t a goddess!” the bathrobe figure shouted.

“And the goddess, Faun,” the priest continued, “returned life to our world. The flowers grew once more, the trees sprouted fresh green and blue leaves, and the animals regained form and substance.”

“Oh how pretty!” the lead child exclaimed, “But, Faun, you are giving up your LIFE. Here, have some of mine!”

“Eeeeep!” the robed actress cried out as she fell to the stage.

“Woooooooo!” all of the “plants” and “animals” yelled as they started jumping and dancing around with each other, some kissing and engaging in mock mating rituals with whatever was closest.

“Dude!” the bathrobe clad actor shouted, “What the fuck?”

“I wanted to help!” the lead child exclaimed. “Look at how happy they all are!”

The costumed actors ran out into the audience tossing out brightly wrapped pieces of candy.

“Yes!” the lead child cried out, “Eat! Eat the candy and live forever!”

“Yeah,” the bathrobe clad actor said, “you really don’t want to do that. Gimme.”

The crowd yelled and cursed as the actors took the candy back (a lot of the crowd ate it anyway. It was considered “lucky”).

“And the cruel robed god,” The priest intoned.

“I am NOT a fucking god!” the robed actor shouted.

“And the cruel robed god,” the priest continued, “made all of the candy, a gift from She Who Loves Us disappear for he is the dicked one. So angry were we that we yelled and swore at him.”

The crowd gleefully reenacted the scene with everyone shouting at the robed actor, even the children, who loved this part. This was the ONE time they could say whatever they wanted with no consequences and proudly showed off their vocabulary, much to the surprise of some parents.

This continued for awhile until the priest raised his hand.

“The cruel robed ugly god was greatly moved by our oaths,” he narrated.

“You know what?” the robed actor shouted, “Fuck you guys. The next time this crazy bitch gives you ‘candy’, I’m not going to stop her! I’m out. Peace.”

The robed actor stomped offstage.

“I must go,” the lead child said, “for there are other worlds full of LIFE that I must save and there are many more people out there that are SAD and need me.”

Noooooo! Don’t gooooo!

“I’m sorry my beautiful children,” the lead child said sadly, “But I must. However, I shall not abandon you. I shall leave two of my children, one in the heavens above and one in the deep oceans below, to watch over, guide, and protect you. If you are ever attacked again they will take care of you and if they can’t, they will call to me, for you are now my worshipers and I LOVE YOU.”

We love you too!

“Goodbye, my beautiful ones,” the lead child cried out as the cart wheeled offstage, “Mommy loves you! At the end of days I shall return, and save all of the LIFE on this world!”

We love you too, Mommy!

“And so, with that final promise,” the priest said, wiping a tear from his eye, “She Who Loves Us Forever departed, leaving only the goddess Faun—“

“She isn’t a god!” was shouted from offstage.

“Oh shut up!” the priest snapped to the delight of the crowd, “… the GODDESS Faun, who still slumbered.”

The robed actress “awoke”.

“And what she beheld upset her mightily!” the priest exclaimed.

“No!” the actress shouted as she tried to break up the still cavorting “plants” and “animals”. “Stop that!” the actress exclaimed as she separated the flowers and the animals.

However, one particular “flower” and “animal” were no longer interested in the pageant, giggling and nibbling, pieces of costume started flying off.

“Stop it,” the actress whispered, “There are children out there!”

Go! Go! Go! the crowd shouted.

The priest, smiling ear to ear, made a gesture and a stage hand, carrying a bucket ice water rushed out and dumped it over the pair, just before a “stamen” was about to find it’s way home.

The pair got up, grinned, waved to the cheering crowd, and ran offstage (probably to continue).

“It happens every year,” the priest chuckled.

“The Goddess,” the priest said glaring offstage, “beheld the wondrous new life that adorned our world, a gift from both her and She Who Loves Us!”

A flower-ram, it’s “wool” in full bloom trotted on stage and the robed actress’s pet gigglevine, restrained (with increasingly difficulty) was finally released, charging in a tangled mass onstage, it’s eyeberries wide with excitement and kissydew dripping from it’s leaf-lips.

It rushed up to its beloved person wrapping itself around her and smothering her in sticky kisses.

“And the Goddess Faun declared her work complete.”

“Nope!” the actress yelled, “Nope, nope, nope, nope!” as she rushed towards the side of the stage still entangled in her gigglevine. “I’m done! Get me out of here!”

A giant paper mache and wicker hand rolled in from offstage and the actress jumped onto it and was “carried away”.

The entire cast and crew entered onstage to cheers and applause.

“Please join us in singing, ‘She Loves Us and We Love Her’,” the priest said as all of the stage lights were extinguished, plunging the area into darkness.

As the crowd sang all eyes were turned upward, towards their largest moon, glowing brightly in the night sky.

As they sang, an amorphous madness inducing shadow slid into view waving happily, as it blocked out the moon entirely. The crowd sang even louder, waving back, filled with joy at the appearance of the child of She Who Loves Us.

***

You have to admit, Faun giggled as they sat on that same moon, they really did a good job on your mask. The likeness is uncanny.

“Oh shut up, melons.”

“Are you sure I can’t make them just a little bit happier?” a writhing mass sitting next to them asked.

“They are plenty ‘happy’ already,” the ape man chuckled.