This chapter will be rewritten.
A lot of people (or at least enough for me) had complained in the comments about things not making sense.
Therefore I decided to completely redo the whole chapter.
See what you can do.
The old chapter will be available in the spoiler tag here, but for the new chapter I will make a new thread (the next one).
Spoiler :
A few days away from the dungeon town I had enough of trying to initiate a nice conversation and just said: “Can you stop treating me like that?”
“Like what?” It was Rodrick, who never had really talked to me before.
“Like a slave.” I knew they thought I was one, but since I didn’t act like one, I had hoped they would not be idiots.
“You are one. Now shut up and behave like one. Your actions are annoying.” His comments made all of us stare at him.
I got a bit angry. “Am I now still a slave?” I ripped off my collar, making it dissolve into white particles.
All of them stared at me astounded, until Rodrick called me: “You monster!”
That made Lae and Shelica mad, but before they could interrupt, I already had answered.
“Oh, now I’m a monster? Then why don’t you just slay me, you oh so mighty warrior? Or are you scared?”
“Now you’ve done it!” He started taking up his bow.
While he made himself ready, I jumped down from the horse-thing and started preparing something I had tried out a few days before.
Lae tried to stop me and Rodrick, but I just told them: “I’ll be in the dungeon, where a monster should be.”
And then I was gone.
What I had done was bending space, shrinking the length of the way I would want to walk, effectively allowing me to travel extremely fast.
And thus I got to the dungeon town in mere minutes. While I avoided the town altogether, finding the dungeon was easy because of the road that led into to a small cave entrance, with a small shop and some restaurants in front of it.
Ignoring those I walked openly in to the cave.
On the first few floors there was no kobold, as these dog-like humanoids were all killed by the adventurer groups that ventured the dungeon for riches.
The next floors slowly turned from mere caves lighted just by my own glow into ruins, populated by tribes of kobolds instead of the solitary ones at the entrance.
From the groups of adventurers I passed, some called out to me that I should go home and that this was no place for a little girl to be, but I just ignored them and walked on.
After the populated floors always came the dead floors. In those some thought of me as a ghost because of my glow, but I just did something I hadn’t tried before and changed their minds. All undead I met were reduced to ashes by my spilling mana anyways, so I easily got past that area.
If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
And then, on the 50th floor, came the bossroom. The boss was a lesser lich I quickly identified, before I spread my mana around the room and created a comfortable throne in the middle of the room from my mana.
Then I waited...
Spoiler :
General InformationRacelesser Undead {Lich}Level450
StatusHealth500/500Mana7000/7000Strength60StaminaendlessAgility40Dexterity50Intelligence1200Wisdom300
Basic AffinitiesArcane100%Darkness100%Additional AffinitiesDeath100%
Titles, Blessings and other permanent or semipermanent changesUndead Race {racial}
As you are of the undead race, you do not have worldly needs and weaknesses.
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finally, this chapter is done with
I’m not satisfied with the separation, but at least it contained all elements I wanted
also, I’m sure I would have much more motivation if there were some substantial comments around
reviews would also help (3 stars average are not very encouraging)
I started writing a sci-fi story (chapter 000 - 003 done right now with each ~1k words), but I’ll wait with releasing that one until I’m done with this story
otherwise both would get not enough attention
@Nanashikun: Kuma!