-Point of View: Jenna Corro-
I don't get it. Ken's one thing. Stubborn as a brick, but he loves Sei to bits. Probably throw himself in front of a truck for the kid.
But what the hell is with Sei? He looks like a girl, acts like a girl, and the world magically gives him an honest to god girl's body, and he still says he's a guy? Why is he so attached to the idea of manhood? It doesn't make any damn sense! Is that really what he wants?
Growling through my teeth, I march down the hall with Ken trailing behind me.
He mentioned the bullying he went through when he was younger yesterday, is that it? Was being called a girl as an insult by a bunch of assholes really enough to put him off the idea that much? It can't be that he looks down on women or something, he's never shown one bit of disrespect for me or any other woman, like any of the bullying pricks we've had to deal with this whole time.
So why is he so. Fucking. Stuck?!
Does he really believe he's male so strongly that the mountain of evidence that says otherwise means nothing to him? If that were the case, then that would be fine since he decides who he is, but even his arguments sound insincere! Didn't he say he's 'supposed' to be a man? What does that even mean?! Shouldn't it mean he's not?!
My thoughts keep turning it over. Ken, the bullies, Sei, Sei's parents... He said they would disown him, didn't he? Why? Something about disappointing them? How does a psi tremor messing with your body mean you've failed your parents? Why would they even care? It's something completely out of his control anyway!
Stomping my way into the boy's common room, I pointedly ignore the idiotic gazes directed my way and throw myself down in an armchair near the corner. One look scares off the guy occupying the seat opposite, allowing Ken to drop into it himself.
“Hey, Ken,” I grunt. “Tell me about Sei's parents.”
“Huh?”
“I've got all these pieces but there's still something missing.” His blank stare isn't helping. “Just tell me about them. What are they like?” I only met Sei and Ken in middle school, I never got acquainted with them the same way he did since we were in middle school and we couldn't really go over each other's houses. The most I know is his Dad seems pretty strict...
“Uhh, let's see... his mom's nice, she was always cooking stuff for us whenever we hung out at his house. But most of the time, she'd kick us out, said boys should play outside. I mean, my parents said the same, so...” He shrugs. “I guess his mom's one thing, but his dad always seemed really strict to me.”
“Strict how?” I ask.
“Uhh, well, he was in the military for a long time.” Sei's dad is veteran? “He always told Sei to man up when he was being bullied, and got him to start lifting weights and working out to get stronger so he could fight back. That was right before I met him.”
“Huh? What do you mean he lifts weights? He's so tiny!” And didn't they meet when Sei was in kindergarten? That doesn't make any sense...
“I don't know, I've never actually seen him lift. They're probably just for show to get his dad off his back. I doubt he can even pick them up.”
That's... absurd. He started pretending to lift weights at five years old just to appease his father?
“Tell me more. What else do you know about his dad?”
“Uhh, you've seen him, remember? Guy's built like a gorilla, I saw him ripping trees out of the ground with his hands one time. Was always saying stuff like that is the job of a man.”
I frown. I'm already starting to see a pattern... God, Ken is dense sometimes. “What else? How... you know what, nevermind. I have an idea. You have Sei's house number?”
“Yeah?”
“Cool, give me your mobile real quick.” Hearing from them should tell me what I need to know.
“What are you up to now...?” he wonders suspiciously, but passes it off anyway.
Hopping up from my seat, I scan over the room, plenty of guys sitting around in various states of not paying attention to me and pretending not to pay attention to me.
“You,” I target an older one that I don't recognize from middle school. The guy shouldn't be from Ferrvale, so they won't recognize his number. He looks up at me from his seat as I approach, eyebrows arching up on his surprisingly handsome face.
“Hey, can I borrow your mobile?” I ask. He glares suspiciously at the other mobile already in my hand, but someone else slaps him on the back and eggs him on, so he pulls his out and hands it over. “Thanks.”
Pulling up his dialer, I copy over the number from Ken's mobile, and and hit call. Ken leans in close to my side to listen in. I ignore him and everyone else, and stare at the far wall of the room, mentally preparing myself. Building up my story... Alright.
While it starts to ring, I shake my hair out, straighten up, and clear my throat. It connects.
“Hello, Maka residence.” Sei's mom.
I put on my serious, adult woman™ voice. “Good afternoon, ma'am, my name is Trisha Boston. I'm a counselor from Meridan County High School.”
“Oh my, is anything the matter with Seiko?”
“No, everything is fine, we're just looking to build profiles on our students so we can better tailor our career counseling. For that, we're calling select parents because they are the most likely to have a clear view of their children's character.”
“Oh, I see. That's much more proactive than any of the counseling they had back in my day,” she laughs pleasantly.
“Yes, it certainly is,” I throw in a pointless agreement. If only it was actually like that...
“Of course I'll help Seiko any way I can. What would you like to know?”
“Oh, just some general information. First, how would you describe your son? Is he a hard worker? Bookish? An athlete?” I toss out a few examples with my opener.
“Let's see... He's definitely a hard worker, his grades have always been excellent.”
“I see, that's very good to hear,” I chip in.
“Yes, now what else...? He's always been so gentle and kind, and has a strong will.” It sounds like she's on a roll, so I shut up and let her go. “I've always said he has a gentle soul, but he gets flustered and self-conscious easily. He's had confidence problems for years because he's an extremely late bloomer, but those should start clearing up soon since he finally hit his growth spurt recently.”
She's starting to slow down, so I speak up again. “Ahh, that's unfortunate. I'm glad to hear things are improving.”
I still don't know how to move the conversation where I want it, so for now, I try staying with something safe until I see an opening. “Now... has your son ever talked about what he wants to do or who he wants to be in the future? And also, what do you picture for him as he grows up?”
Her reply is immediate. “Seiko has always said he wants to grow up to be a man.”
My eye twitches. “Be a... man? Could you elaborate?” I guess that's my opening.
“Ah, yes, I suppose that sounds silly without context. He had to deal with a lot of bullying when he was younger, so he's always dreamed of being a strong man who can grab the world by the horns.”
“I see, I see, impressive character.” Did he say that because of the bullying? Pushing her onto the next part of the question, I ask, “Now, what about your thoughts? Lots of parents have some sort of vision for their children, do you have any ideas about what you would like him to be in the future?” I know mine do, always telling me to become a secretary like my Mom. Like hell I'd want to be a glorified note-taker/coffee brewer...
“Of course. His dream is my dream.”
“...Pardon?” I stumble at the strange response.
“Hmm, what I mean is, I've always believed Seiko can be whatever he wants to be. He has always said he wants to be a man like his father, so that's what I want for him too.”
“Wow, I see. That certainly is-” the hell do I say to that?! “-impressive, Maka-san.” When she makes a questioning noise, I have to pause, panicking as I try to figure out where to go from there.
Got it! “There are plenty of parents out there who have very set directions they wish to push their children. I was saying it's impressive how you support him so wholeheartedly.” Whoo, safe.
“Why, thank you, Boston-san.” Who? Oh, my fake name, right. I shake my head. Keep it together, girl!
“Of course. I believe those are all of my questions for you, could I speak to your husband? Is he available right now?” Now what I really want to know is who is this man? Why does Sei look up to him so much?
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“Yes yes, of course. Albert!” she shouts, but it's quiet, aimed away from the phone. “Come here, there's a woman from Seiko's school on the phone!”
There's some muffled fumbling with the phone, and the sound of Miss Maka explaining things briefly, before the vaguely familiar voice of Sei's dad comes across the line.
“Hello? Boston-san, was it?”
I take a deep breath, and refocus, getting to work. “Yes, sir. This is Albert Maka-san?”
“Yeah, you have some questions about Sei?” Sei? My eyes narrow, noting the difference. His father calls him by a nickname?
“Yes, sir. To start, could you describe your son?” For now, I'll start with the same opener questions...
“Sei is... a work in progress.” What? “He has so much potential, but he squanders it a lot of the time. He has booksmarts, but that's not enough to get ahead, you know? He tries, but he's weak willed and doesn't have the guts to stand up for himself.”
This... this man is trash talking his son? To a school counselor?!
Biting down on my rising bile, I intone, “Oh dear, that's unfortunate. Has he tried to do anything to overcome those issues?”
“I guess, but his heart's never in it. Seems like all the advice I give him on how to man up just goes in one ear and out the other.
I pause, making an 'mhmm' sound to make it seem like I'm writing up something, to give myself time. Do I press further here? Would it be too suspicious? No, I have to. I'm not sure if I could get back to this through a different line of questioning.
“So, advice...” I hum out like I'm considering his words. “That certainly could be useful information to have. What advice would you give your son?”
Thankfully, that doesn't seem to raise any alarms from the man. Rather... “Oh yeah, if you're a counselor, you can give him my advice too. Maybe you'll have better luck getting through to him.”
“Y-yes...?” Even I can't help my voice shaking slightly here.
“Alright, make sure to note this down. First off, I got him training weights to bulk up, but he never uses them. I'm sure you know how important a solid base of fitness is for a growing man.” The weights again...?
“Of course...”
“Right, so there's that. Then, he has these other weaknesses that he refuses to fix. He's timid, and passive. He lets people push him around and leaves everything to others. If there's one thing they taught me in the army, it's that you should take what you want by force. Of course, he's still too weak to do that, which is what the weight training is for...” The man sighs, as if all of these things are oh so woeful weights on his heart.
“There are also these things he does, like collecting fuzzy toys.” He says the words like they're something disgusting. “And ever since he turned ten, he's refused to cut his hair. He says it looks cool, but it just makes him look even more like a girl than he already does!”
This man... Is he seriously just going off about his kid like this to a school counselor right now...?
“He's so soft and small... he's fifteen centimeters shorter than his younger sister.”
That's... literally not even something he has control over...
“He always got bullied, and instead of listening to me and training so he could beat them himself, he found other people to fight for him. What's he going to do the minute they're gone? He's like a helpless woman on his own!”
A helpless woman? Excuse me?
“If he doesn't get his act together, he'll be a laughing stock forever and never catch himself a wife. No woman would touch a man like him as he is now!”
So this is what Sei's been living with. The father he's always looked up to. I feel like I'm going to blow a blood vessel in my head if I keep listening. I don't know if I even trust myself to speak at this point. Even so, I choke down and grit my teeth. “My, that certainly is troublesome. Do you believe that your son entering puberty will help fix how effeminate he is?”
“Damn right, but only if he finally buckles in, mans the hell up, and starts listening. I'm sure he has it in him, he's my son after all!”
“Yes, I'm sure he has excellent potential. Just need to cut out the flaws and polish him up, and he'll really shine.” My facade is cracking...
“Of course he will,” the man grunts. “Otherwise, I'll have to throw him into the military, let them whip him into shape.” I can't take this...
“Well, sir, you've given us quite a bit of information to work with, thank you very much for taking time out of your day for this.” Oh god, I need to get off this call.
“No problem, have a nice day, Boston-san.”
“You as well, Maka-san.”
There's a click, followed by a moment of silence.
“RRAAAHHHH!” I scream and fling the mobile off into the distance. Flailing in rage I see nothing but red, grabbing and flipping a coffee table into the air and scattering papers in every direction before huge arms grab me from behind.
“Woah, woah! Calm down!” comes Ken's voice in my ear, and the next thing I know, I'm being dragged away from the sea of surrounding faces. I struggle, but Ken's way stronger than I am, so I kick my legs uselessly until we're outside the front of the dorm, and he finally drops me.
Then I'm stomping back and forth in the grass, screaming at the top of my lungs. “THAT BASTARD! NO WONDER WHY SEI IS LIKE THIS! WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN YOU FORCE SHIT LIKE THAT ON A CHILD YOU ARROGANT FUCKING ASSHOLE?!”
After a few minutes of that, I have a hoarse voice, a good deal more ability to reason, and a very large crowd of onlookers. Standing very, very far back.
“Ugh, come on Ken, we have to talk.”
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-Point of View: Seiko Maka-
“Seiko? That's a girl name!” The little boy points at me, no more than five years old. “Are you a girl?”
My first day of kindergarten.
“No, Mommy says it's not!”
I'm at the front of the class, giving my first day introduction. But the other boy just stands up and shouts that at me across the room.
The whole class laughs, and I cry. That makes them laugh more, and my parents have to come pick me up.
“Really? Crying over something like that? You're in school already, Sei! You've got to man up, son!”
“Why do I have a girl name?” I cry.
“It's not, sweetie.”
“Except it is,” Daddy scoffs. “Why did you do something like that? Didn't we already decide on Bruce if he was a boy? Nice, strong name. So much more fitting.”
“I'm sorry, honey. I don't know. It's just, when I saw him for the first time and held him in my arms... Bruce was wrong. Seiko just came to me. I looked it up, it's not a girl's name. It's about truth. I think it was meant to happen. I think it was the will of the world telling me that he needed to be true to himself.”
“Shina, I have no idea what you're talking about. You looked up a poorly translated foreign name on a whim and used that to give our son a girl's name.”
“No, I-”
“Sei, don't cry. If you try twice as hard as the rest of the boys, you'll be four times the man they'll ever be.”
“What does that even...-”
“This is a man's world, son. Ripe for the picking, as long as you're strong enough. Don't listen to anyone else, as long as you keep pushing, you'll be just like me one day.”
“Oh, hush, he doesn't even know what you're talking about.”
“Maybe not now, but he will one day.”
“I'll be like Daddy!”
“Of course you will, Seiko, as long as that's what you want. You can be anything you want to be.....”
The words all start to jumble together as the dream trails off.
My eyes crack open slowly. It's dark in my room and I'm lying on top of the covers, still half naked. I grumble, rolling onto my back and throwing an arm over my eyes as the images continue to play across my blacked out vision. Why did it have to be that dream again? They always said I could become what I wanted to be. So why did I become this...?
Glancing over at the bed across, it's empty. With a sigh, I roll over again to sit off the edge of my bed. Leaning over, I grab a weight. I sit there, mindlessly lifting for a while, switching hands back and forth.
Why do I even bother? I could never gain any muscle before, and now I'm a... Now my body is female, so how would I ever bulk up?
At some point, my mobile dings, so I slide over to my desk, absentmindedly checking it with one hand, the other continuing my pointless exercise. It's a text from Mom about a call from a school counselor. What for? I keep scrolling through the message. She talks about a nice woman asking questions to refine my career counseling.
…
What kind of bullshit is that? This school doesn't even do career counseling, does it? I run a hand through my hair, agitated, before I get back to skimming the message. Apparently she gave Dad the phone and he just started going off at the counselor about me needing to get my act together.
Ugh, of course he did. He's not even wrong, I'm such a useless mess... God, he would be so ashamed if he saw me now...
I have to drop the weight so I can wipe at my eyes. Damn it, I'm not supposed to cry...
Eventually, I toss the mobile back on my desk and trudge into the wash room. I turn on the hot water in the shower and stand under it for a bit, trying to let it wash away some of these feelings. It actually does help a little. The hot water is relaxing...
After some time, I turn my little pick-me-up into a proper shower, washing my hair and scrubbing myself clean. It's nice, especially since I couldn't shower after gym earlier. I probably take a little while too long standing under the hot water, but I've had an awful day, so I give myself some time.
Once I get out of the shower, I frown at my fingers a little, because they're kind of pruny. As I'm toweling off my oddly longer hair, I look at my new bottle of lotion. “Mmm, Jen said to use this after showers...” I scan over the directions on the bottle, but it basically just says to put it on and rub it in.
Alright, let's see how this works... I take a few pumps from the bottle in my hand and start spreading it around my arms and legs. Wow, it actually goes pretty far. With just what I have, I get up to my chest and back too.
Once more, I give my breasts an experimental squeeze. They're still sore, but they give a kind of pleasant feeling anyway. You'd think a female body would be more... inconvenient? Unpleasant? It's everything I've ever been trying to get away from, and yet it feels so annoyingly ordinary.
Suddenly, there's a swish, cutting off my train of thought. I don't even have time to be properly surprised as the door opens and Ken is standing right there. He cuts short right in the doorway, eyes going wide. I'm too stunned to react for a few moments.
Then he closes the door again. I keep standing there, face growing hotter by the second. My hands come up to my cheeks. No no no no, why do I feel like this?!
After a minute of internal screaming, I wrap my towel around myself and walk out into our room. “Wash room's free.” I try to say it nonchalantly, but it ends up coming out as a squeak. Neither of us address that at all.
“Thanks,” Ken replies in an actual nonchalant tone, and walks in. After I change into some clothes, I flop down in bed and grab my mobile. What time is it anyway? Ugh, pretty late. And I'm not really tired because I just slept through the afternoon.
Grumbling to myself about messing up my sleep schedule, I fish some books out of my school bag and start reading. Mostly just skimming really, but it at least helps me familiarize myself with what we'll be learning in class.
Eyes scanning over the pages, I sigh.