Eventually, the tumultuous and unpleasant dreams fade back to the clinically bare ceiling as my eyes flutter open again. My first breath hurts so much I wish I could just go back to sleep. But Leona's voice calls me, her face hovering over mine.

“Seiko, you're awake,” she says softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Everything hurts,” I groan.

“I can see that,” she quips, and presses a large hand lightly to my chest. “But how do you feel?” Of course that's what she means...

“I don't know.” My eyes slide to the side, unwilling to meet hers anymore. “I'm hurt. I miss Jen. I wish things could go back to how they were before.” I admit things a bit at a time as they come to me. “And... I'm scared. I don't have any control of my life anymore. I don't want to live in fear, but it feels like everyone around me wants to hurt me. And it's only going to get worse. How can I trust anyone like this?”

Leona doesn't say anything. I almost expect her to remind me I can trust her, but she doesn't. Probably knows I don't need reminding. But at the same time... I want her to tell me. To say those words I don't even need to hear because it would make me feel better. Why would it make me feel better...?

I start to cry. I don't even get why, but tears begin to roll from my eyes, my chest heaving, heart clenching. Why does it hurt so much...?

Leona pulls me into another gentle hug, letting me sob and wail into her chest as she rubs my back soothingly. It helps, I think. When I let it all out, my sobs turn to sniffles, and I slowly pull away again.

“...Thanks...” I murmur.

“It's no problem.”

“Hey... Leona...?” I speak up uncertainly. I feel so insecure. Even with her here, I feel like if I blink, she'll disappear and I'll be all alone again.

“Yeah?” she prompts me. Her face shows nothing but kindness and patience, so unlike the severe military veteran from earlier.

“You'll keep protecting me, right? You aren't going to leave me alone?”

“Of course.” I nod shakily a few times, trying to keep from just panicking right here. “Would you like to burn off the rest of the energy? Would that help you feel safer?”

“Y-yeah... I think. Maybe...” It would be something, right?

“Alright, here we go,” with gentle words, she takes my hands. She climbs up on top of me, pinning my hands down on the bed above my head.

I push against her just like usual, but within moments, all the alarms are screaming in my head. I start to thrash under her, head shaking back and forth. “No, please! Stop! No no no let me go!” I babble, words and tears and panic overflowing, before Leona reels back, hands up in surrender.

“I-I'm sorry,” she stammers. “I'm sorry Seiko, it's too soon, isn't it? I'm sorry for making you panic.”

Once I finally stop hyperventilating, I stutter out a meaningless reply. “N-no, I just, I, I-I. N-no, y-you, I...” It takes a while longer before I can actually get my own thoughts in order outside of pure animal terror.

“Sorry, Leona. I didn't... As soon as I was...”

She stops me immediately. “No, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. You were just attacked, you have every reason to be sensitive. I'm sorry I made you relive any part of that.”

“But... what do we do now?”

“We'll find another way to burn the energy off...” she starts, before checking her mobile and grimacing. “A-actually...” Leona holds a hand to her head. “I'm sorry Seiko, you were out for longer than I thought. I've already made Mejja wait too long, do you think you can hold out a little longer?”

So we're out of time today, and she needs to do the checkup? I shift a little, seeing the darker afternoon light pouring through the window. It was only lunchtime when I was attacked, which means I slept through the rest of school, and some time after that too.

“...Alright...” I can't get in the way of her job. I need her to help me, I can't afford to mess things up by getting in the way of her mission somehow.

“Ok, I'll try to take it easy. Hang in there, Seiko.” She speaks quietly as she gets set up for my daily checkup like usual. Meanwhile, I look down at myself. Underneath the bed sheet, I'm only wearing my undershirt. In fact, weren't my clothes destroyed? Jen's vest is lying in a bundle at the end of the bed.

“Alright, Seiko.” Leona's voice brings my attention back to her. “Nice and easy, now.” Instead of simply sliding my shirt aside with a hand, she gently grabs the hem and pulls it up, her movements slow and delicate, like she's going to break me.

She follows with my bra, and I'm starting to blush, but I can't even complain. I feel so vulnerable, and the actions are so similar to what might have happened, that I'm incredibly grateful for her gentler approach than usual.

“I'm going to touch you now, Seiko,” Leona warns me quietly. “Is that alright?”

“Nn,” I mumble and nod. She brings her hands down pressing them against my chest and abdomen like usual. However, the touch makes me wince and grunt in pain. My chest is one thing, but I have big, dark bruises forming all across my stomach from the hits I took earlier. Leona's hand is pressing on them, sending arcs of pain out in every direction.

“Sorry,” she immediately apologizes and draws her hand back a little. Her palm hovers just off my skin instead, as she charges up. Just the air pressing heavily around me is enough to make my entire body throb. The suddenly entrapped feeling sets every hair on end, and my heart pounds.

I keep telling myself this is fine. Even if I'm partially naked. Even if Leona is touching me like this, it's completely different. She is not attacking me. Leona would never attack me. She protects me.

...Like Jen?

That thought is all it takes to send me spiraling.

How am I supposed to know when Leona will turn on me? Betray me? Assault me? Just look at her, she's already made a habit of pinning me, making me helpless. Stripping me and touching me. It's just for examinations now, but what if she decides to go further? I already know I can't stop her. I've struggled against her unyielding grip long enough to know that she could do anything she wanted with my body, any time she desired.

Who cares if she protects me now? It's just her mission, isn't it? What happens when that changes? What if she gets new orders? What if Mejja wants to know how I respond to having my body toyed with? Leona would do it because she's a soldier and follows orders, wouldn't she?

When it comes down do it, I don't really know anything about Leona, do I? She's from a powerful family. She's a psion. She was in the military. That's it. I don't know jack shit beyond that! It's not like she ever speaks about herself.

In a matter of seconds, my entire state of mind has collapsed. It's just in time for Leona to lean down, pressing her hands against me, bringing her eyes to stare into mine, gaze straight into my terror. The blinding glow of violet overwhelms my vision, and I'm completely crushed, trapped under her unstoppable power, unable to even scream. It flows in, filling me with more power. More weakness. Then it's over.

Leona gasps and snaps up again.

I cry. Pressing my hands up to my face, I cry uncontrollably.

How am I supposed to trust anyone anymore? No matter who it is, even my best friends will betray me if they're forced to! And now I'm supposed to rely on Leona? The military psion I don't know anything about, just to get through my life without being assaulted? Until she betrays me too?

How am I supposed to live like this?!

“Seiko! Seiko, are you alright?” Leona is looking down at me, half panicked. “Was that too much for you?” She reaches out, but draws back when I flinch away from her touch.

“How can I trust you?! How do I know you won't betray me too?! Everyone has a price, or a breaking point! How can I trust anyone?!” I ramble at her through my tears.

“S-Seiko...”

I curl into a ball, pressing my head to my knees and clap my hands over my ears. I can't deal with this! I can't deal with any of this!

“Seiko!” the booming, point blank shout physically knocks me onto my back, hands falling away from the sides of my head. I'm stunned for a few seconds, Leona appearing above me before I can recover. “Seiko, listen to me. I know you're hurt, but you can't just give up on people. Life is messy and no one is perfect.”

She sighs deeply, and in my shock, all I can focus on is her. “I'm not clairvoyant, I can't see the future. I cannot say with absolute certainty that for the rest of our lives, there is zero chance I will betray you. What I can do is promise, on my honor, that I will protect you. That's the best any of us can do in this life. Is it still not enough?”

I open my mouth, then close it again. I know she's right. I think I was just panicking. Of course no one can guarantee perfection. The best we can do is relate our honest intentions, and it's clear that Leona means it when she says she'll protect me. She always has before, and without some big shift, there's no reason for that to change.

“I'm sorry, Leona-”

“No. There is nothing to apologize for, Seiko,” she tells me pointedly. “You've been through a traumatic experience and you need time to process it. No one can fault you for feeling unsafe or untrusting after what you have just been through. So, take all the time you need, I will be by your side to keep you safe, whether you can believe me or not.”

“I...” I blink at her. I have, haven't I? I didn't have anyone last time. I was all alone, with no one to talk to, no one to help me. All I could do was push everything down and try to forget about it. Get strong enough to feel like I had some control over my life again. But it never really went away. All I had was myself. Even when I met Ken, and later Jen, I never told them. I was afraid and ashamed of what happened, and hid it all inside...

But it's different now. Losing Jen's trust feels like a raw wound, but I have so many more friends now than I used to, and I know they won't laugh or look down on me, just because something bad happened to me. I have no idea how to regain what I've lost, but... Well, I think I'll survive. After all, the worst didn't happen. It's a small consolation, but just knowing that he couldn't even get all my clothes off this time makes me feel a tiny bit better.

“Seiko?” Leona's question makes me realize I got lost in my own thoughts again.

I shake my head lightly, noticing the swish of my hair across my back with a small tremble. Putting it from my mind, I look up at her. “Thanks, Leona. I have a lot to think about. I... guess I'll be relying on you a lot for now. So please take care of me.”

I bow my head and she replies, “Of course.”

After some time, Leona stands, grabbing the vest and handing it to me so I can cover up. I don't even care that it's Jen's. That it's way too big for me. I don't care that it's a girl's vest, with its oversized blue ribbon around the collar. It's clothing, and it will keep everyone from seeing my chest.

Leona extends a hand, holding it out for me to take, to help me up from bed. When I reach for it, but hesitate, she draws her own hand away. Huh? I look up at her, confused. She sees it in my face and frowns.

“Seiko, I will not pressure you when you are this vulnerable. After what happened, you have to know that your body is your own. No one has any right to touch you or pressure you into any contact you don't want. If you are not comfortable with it, do not take my hand out of consideration for my feelings.”

“O-oh...” No one's ever said anything like that to me before...

Leona extends her hand one more time, and I look at it. After some thought, I reach out, and I take it. I get an instant, little rush in my chest when I do. It's small, but it's something I chose to do. I get to make some choices about my body at least...

With gentle pressure, Leona pulls me up from the bed. Our hands stay clasped together a little longer, and we both look at them. With our eyes still on our interlocked hands, Leona explains, “You have the right to withdraw your consent at any time, if you ever become uncomfortable for any reason. Or no reason at all. If you tell me stop, I stop. Tell me to let go, I let go. Do you understand?”

Her eyes move from our hands, drawing my gaze to hers. I nod shakily and mumble, “Nn.”

“Good, let's head back, alright?” I respond with another small mumble, and she gently draws me forward.

On the way out of the infirmary, we pass the doctor at her desk. Wait, how much of that did she hear? Her face is set, jaw clenched tight, and she doesn't say anything. Leona tells the doctor we'll see her tomorrow, and we leave.

As we walk out of the school building, Leona looks down at me and asks, “Would you like me to carry you?”

Walking hurts so much that I'm limping badly, putting a good deal of my weight on her through our connected hands. But the thought of being carried, completely unable to move on my own...

I shake my head in a hurry. “Alright,” she answers easily, and continues helping me walk, even though we're moving at a snail's pace because of me.

This is weird. Seeing me injured like this, she normally would have swept me up without a word by now. “Hey, Leona? Why are you being so considerate now? You never asked for my consent for anything before...”

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

She has to think about that one before she answers. “It wasn't so important before. I had no trouble touching you casually because I could see it didn't cause you any distress.”

“Huh? But what about that time you grabbed me in the front of the whole gym class? Or when you pinned me against the wall in the infirmary?”

Leona smirks a little. “Embarrassment and traumatic distress are very different things, Seiko.”

“That...” Huh. “That's fair.”

We keep walking a while longer, and I'm soon regretting not accepting Leona's offer to carry me. All my muscles burn, and each breath brings a stab of pain from the bruising across my stomach. But I can't suddenly ask now, can I? Even after I refused earlier?

“Seiko?” Leona prompts me, her eyes telling me she already knows what I want to ask, so I should just say it.

“Leona... carry me please?” My cheeks heat a little when I ask for it myself.

“Sure.” She gently scoops me up into her arms. I settle there for a few seconds, but-

“No! No, put me down!” I flail, chest heaving with sudden, uncontrollable panic. Leona immediately sets me back on my feet, but lets me lean on her while I wait for my hammering heart to calm down.

“S-sorry-”

“You did nothing wrong,” she immediately assures me.

Right... I said no, so she stopped... That actually makes me feel a little better.

But... what do I do now?

“Umm, s-” I bite back another apology. Then I blush, staring at Leona's chin because I can't meet her eyes, and ask, “C-can I... change my mind again?”

“Of course,” she answers smoothly. “Whenever you like, as many times as you like.”

“...Really?”

“No, you're only allowed to become uncomfortable having your body handled after forty four and a half seconds, no shorter, no longer.” She gives me this look to tell me how absurd that would be.

“No one else gets to dictate when you can give or withdraw your consent, only you,” she finishes warmly. “Now,” and she gestures to me.

I nod stiffly. “You can pick me up again.” So she does. Slowly, Leona lifts me back into a princess carry, her strong arms holding me close. My heart rate picks up again, being immobilized in her arms like this, but I'm not trapped. I gave her permission, and if I say no, she'll stop. I'm safe. This is safe.

I manage to relax in her arms for a while after that, and she carries me across campus, nice and steady.

And then I see some students in the distance and suddenly panic again, fighting and scrambling back to the ground like some kind of agitated cat.

That's exactly how I feel as I pant for a minute. Like a cat, suddenly not alright with being held for no apparent reason.

“Sorry, I guess I'm still skittish,” I mumble, an arm wrapping around myself protectively.

“It's fine, I understand.”

Once more, I ask her to carry me, and we continue across campus to the distant dorm building. It would be much faster if Leona ran, but she's talking it slow and easy for my sake.

I panic a few more times as we go, but I'm managing longer periods between attacks when the dorm building appears in the distance. It's incredible how patient and caring Leona is being. I don't know if it's because of what I just went through, or because I lost Jen, or what.

“Hey, Leona?” I speak up quietly from her arms while we close in on the dorms. “Why do you know so much about this stuff? Consent and all that?”

All she does is smile down at me and say, “It's called 'bodily autonomy.' It's your right to decide what happens to your own body. I learned about it in the military, I'll tell you about that... later.” Watching her from so close, it's impossible to miss the way she glances away as she says it.

“Oh, sure...” Why in the military? Beyond them just going to fight, I don't have any clear idea of what people actually do in the military And chances are, a high tier psion like her would have a completely different experience from normal people anyway.

We're coming up on the dorm when Leona leans down and speaks in a low voice. “Seiko, I don't want to sugar-coat things. With the way our country is, there are a lot of people who will not respect your bodily autonomy. Those are the people to watch out for.”

“Generally,” she goes on with a complicated expression, “it's men. The ones who have learned not to listen, not to stop, and to keep pushing, using force to get what they want. They are the ones who will get violent when you deny them, who won't respect your decision when you tell them 'no.'”

“I know exactly what you mean...” I murmur sadly. That is exactly how my father acts. How he always told me to be. What I had in my head as 'manly' was just...

'If force doesn't get you what you want, you aren't using enough of it.'

I repeat the line he told me more than a few times, and Leona shows a disgusted expression for a moment before shaking her head. “Yes, that is exactly the sort of thinking that comes out of the military.” She scowls down at the grass. “While it's mostly men, beware of any women who act the same way. They're just as dangerous, if not more, because you might not see it coming.”

I give a small nod, and it isn't much longer before we reach the dorms. “Do you want me to take you up?” I agree instantly. I don't feel remotely safe enough to walk through a crowd of men on my own right now. So Leona walks inside, and all eyes immediately turn on us, as always.

Only this time, I remember that I'm wearing Jen's vest over my shirt. The thought instantly makes me panic, but between Leona and the all the huge men all around us, I know where I'm safer, and hug as tight to her chest as I can.

Everyone watches us as we head upstairs and through the third floor common room, then Leona opens my door, and proceeds through the glow of the projector, into the room.

“Sei!” Ken calls out. I have to squint to see him standing from his chair, some other guy lounging on Ken's bed as they watch whatever movie they have on.

“H-hey...” I mutter. I don't know what to say or do, and end up not saying much as Leona gently sets me down.

“We were all worried, like half the class disappeared after lunch!” Ken goes on. Half the class? Me, Leona, Jen, Lacey Monasta, Shirla Kaz, Vance, and those two guys...? Even if not everyone's from our class, that's still a lot of people to vanish at once...

“Y-yeah...”

“We all heard that announcement too, did something happen?” Of course, he's walked up and started to look me over, so he stops when he notices the oversized girl's vest I'm wearing, and raises an eyebrow.

Leona steps in to explain since I clearly can't. “A group of bullies targeted Seiko during lunch.”

“Wha?!” he gasps. “What happened? Are you alright?” When he leans down closer, I flinch back on reflex. Ken catches it, his hands clenching into fists. “Who was it?”

“Three members of our class, two from another class,” Leona reports. “I dealt with them. When they return from the hospital, don't expect to see them in our class anymore.”

Ken deflates with clearly apparent relief. “So you were there, thank goodness. What about Jen? Wasn't she with Seiko?”

“Corro-san-” I put a hand up to stop her, and Leona cuts short whatever she was going to say.

“I... Some stuff happened with Jen and I'm really mad at her right now – that's why she couldn't help me. I don't really want to talk about it.” Even with what she did, I don't hate her, and I don't want to tell everyone and have it ruin all her friendships with the rest of our group. I turn a look to Leona to let her know we aren't talking about Jen with the others, and she nods.

“Mm, alright,” Ken agrees reluctantly. “What about that?” and points at my top.

“Right, yeah,” I sigh. “Long story, it's Jen's.” There's some other guy here, trying to stay very still and avoid interrupting our conversation as he sits on Ken's bed, so I go over to my dresser, keeping my back to him so he won't see anything. I pull off Jen's vest and throw on a big hoodie before turning around and passing the top to Leona. “Give that back to Jen?” I ask lightly, and she agrees.

Then I look up at Ken again. “I'm sorry, I'm really tired and everything hurts, can we talk about this more later?”

“Sure, Sei.” With a small word and a wave, Leona goes, and I lie down in bed, grabbing a candy plushie and squeezing it close to my chest under the covers. I want to go to sleep and think about all this later.

But... I can't fall asleep. Ken eventually returns to watching a familiar action movie I've seen a dozen times before. The sound doesn't bother me, it's the other guy in our room. I can't relax at all with him there. What if he did something to me in my sleep?

No, that's dumb, Ken wouldn't let him. But what if Ken leaves to get a drink, or goes to the toilet? It would only take a few seconds...

But why would he even do that, it doesn't make any sense! Normal people don't just attack you out of nowhere! But how do I know he's normal and not like Vance? No, even if he is, he thinks I'm a guy!

I end up arguing with myself like that in silence, heart beating hard and fast, nervous sweat breaking out all over my body. Was it always so hot under my blankets?

Oh god, this is going to be a rough night...

I eventually roll over and check my mobile and try to take my mind off all of that.

“Geh...” I have over a dozen missed calls. From my parents...

Seeking any amount of privacy, I go into the wash room and close the door behind me, blocking out almost all the noise from the TV – thank god for sound proof doors.

Groaning, as much from what I have to do as my battered body, I press the call button. The line connects almost immediately. What, was she waiting over the phone?

“Seiko, is that you? What happened? We got a call from the school, they said you got in a fight!” Got in a fight? Seriously?!

And then I remember the school administrator, and groan right into the mobile. “Was it the school administration? A woman?”

“Yes, she said her name was Janice Monasta. What happened, sweetie?”

“Of course it was her,” I frown at the floor. “Don't listen to anything she says, she's basically evil.”

“W-what?” Mom sputters.

“Her daughter was the one leading the bullies that attacked me, and they did it by blackmailing my friend using her authority as a school administrator. She even tried blaming me for defending myself after we fought the bullies off.”

I'm massively generalizing, but I think she gets the point. Just thinking about it, seeing it all flash before my eyes again is making it hard to breathe. But I choke it down and hold myself together for my mom's sake.

“That's...” as expected, she has no idea how to respond to all of that. “Well, as long as you're alright. You said you fought them off? I'm so proud of you, Seiko, you're so much stronger than you used to be. I can't wait to see how much bigger you've gotten-”

“S-stop. Please Mom, stop,” my voice breaks into the phone when my forced calm cracks. I can't take her talking like that, not now. Not after today.

“Seiko, what's wrong?”

“I didn't, Mom. I-I tried, but I couldn't stop them.” I see Vance over me again, and I'm shaking. The arms holding me from behind. “They held me down and- and they- t-they were going t-to- they- they were-” His hands touching me.

I can't say it. My thoughts are scattering. “M-my friend came and- and s-saved me.” Why am I telling her this? Won't she be disappointed? It feels so good though, letting it out instead of suffering silently this time.

But won't it just be worse when she rejects me? Tells me I'm not good enough as I am and need to man up? Magically become less of a woman that men like Vance can attack at will?

“Oh, Seiko, sweetie...” Mom's voice shudders, and I can hear her holding back tears. “You're alright now though, aren't you?”

That's all it takes.

“No! No, Mom, I'm not ok!” I cry, “I'm scared!” I grit my teeth, crouching into a ball as tears fill my eyes. “I can't sleep because there's some guy hanging out with Ken! I don't feel safe in my own room!” Crying hurts, all my sore muscles are screaming at me for it.

“Seiko, shh, calm down honey, it'll be fine. You're safe now. Kentan-kun is there, right? You've always been safe with Kentan-kun. Just stay with him, everything will be alright.” Unbelievably, her voice remains steady and soothing.

“Nn,” I sob into the phone. But will it? Things are different between us now that I'm a girl. And Ken has a girlfriend. I can't hang on him for protection all the time anymore, can I? Do I even have a choice? My only other option is Leona, but she isn't here.

“Go give him the phone, alright? Can you do that?”

“Nn.” Slowly, I get myself to stand again, wiping at my eyes repeatedly, but it isn't doing any good. The tears won't stop. “I-I'll get Ken...”

I leave the wash room, trying to ignore the looks I get from the other guy when he sees my crying face. I try to approach Ken, but I can't take it. I can't even walk past the other man. Ken is halfway on his feet when I throw my mobile at him and dive back into my bed for some semblance of safety.

Ken flails, juggling the plastic brick until he gets a good hold of it, turning an irritated look my way as I hide under my blanket, before he checks the screen, and his eyes go wide. He puts the mobile up to his ear.

“H-hello, Kentan speaking?” he says it like a question. He only listens for a few seconds before the confusion disappears, replaced with concern, and he looks my way. What is she telling him?

“Yeah, of course. Alright, bye.” Then he looks over at the other guy in the room and says, “Hey, Blumen-san, I've got something to do.”

“Yeah, sure. See you later, Yono-san.” The man sends one more look my way, and I curl up further under my blankets. Then he waves and leaves.

Ken is immediately next to my bedside.

“Sei, are you alright? Your mom said something's seriously wrong, what's up?”

I'm still bundled up under my blanket, only my eyes peeking out at him. “I'm scared,” I admit. “What happened today... Vance-san, he...”

The more I think about it, the worse it gets. Who cares that he never got to skin? Who cares that Leona saved me before he had a chance to physically play with my body? It was never about that, was it? The damage was already done the moment he had me helpless before him. It's the knowledge that there's nothing I could possibly do to stop him that scares me the most.

“He molested me...” I can't even look up to see Ken's response. “I'm so scared now. Men are terrifying. Any one of them could do the same thing. I can't feel safe anymore, and I have no idea what to do about it...”

“Sei, you're safe with me,” Ken says, patting the blanket. It makes me flinch underneath, my whole body locking up, panic overflowing in an instant.

“B-but you're a guy too! What do I do if y-you decide to-!”

“Oh, come on,” he sighs. “I've seen you naked a dozen times. I'm not going to push down my best friend, am I?”

“You...” he's right. I know he's right, as soon as I stop spinning.

“Even Leona's more likely to push you down than I am,” Ken points out. Then, “Actually, she's the one who pushes you down the most, isn't she?” he jokes.

I actually crack a little smile through my tears. “Y-yeah, you're right. She does push me down all the time...” And I feel safe with her anyway, because I know she respects me and she would stop if I told her to.

But what about Ken...?

“Hey, umm, Ken?”

“Yeah?” he asks softly.

“Could you... hold my hand?” Just that much doesn't feel too dangerous...

“Sure?” He doesn't look like he gets it, but he holds his hand out anyway. I hesitantly place mine in his, and we hold hands briefly.

“Stop. Stop now,” I stammer out a little, and he releases me. I gulp down a few quick breaths of air. “A-again.”

Ken keeps playing along as I let him take my hand again. Then stop. Then take it again, then stop again. With the third iteration, he's frowning at me slightly.

“Alright, Sei, what's this about exactly?” he asks, clearly running a little thin on patience.

I huddle down more in my blanket. “...You stop when I tell you to stop...”

At first, he doesn't get it.

Then he does.

“Oh.”

He doesn't have anything more to say after that. He just opens his arms to let me know I can hug him if I want. So I do. I leave the safety of my blanket, and hug myself up against Ken's huge body.

Yes, this is the friend who's always with me, who protects me. Who is safe. Who I can be safe with. I start to cry. But this time, it's not just sadness and pain. There's also relief. Sweet relief that there are still safe places for me. I have Ken and Leona. It's not much, but it's something.

I don't remember much after that. Ken rocks me back and forth, and I think I end up crying myself to sleep against his chest.