“Alright, see you guys tomorrow,” Jen calls as she and the other girls split off toward the girl's dormitory. It's one building, really, but split into two parts, for each gender.
“Come on, let's head in,” Ken says, rolling his shoulders with a tired look. I keep following. As much as I try, I can't shake off this funk. Maybe I just need some sleep. Tomorrow should be better. We started on a Friday so we have a nice early weekend. After going inside and checking the room assignments posted on a board, I'm glad to see that I'll be rooming with Ken. We put the request in on our applications, but it's still huge relief that I know I won't be sharing a room with... anyone else.
“Third floor, room seventeen,” Ken says to the person running room signups. He swipes Ken's mobile, records the scan of his hand, and waves him on, then I go through the same process, and Finn follows along behind.
We head upstairs, waving as Finn splits off for his room on the second floor, then arrive in the third floor common room, where there are some guys talking. They stop when we walk in, then the first thing out of one's mouth is, “God damn man, you're fast!”
Huh? All three of them rush over our way. The one with the spiky green hair who spoke earlier grabs Ken and exclaims, “Bringing back a girl on your first day, what a stud!”
My heart races. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry...
“Hah? The hell are you talking about man? Sei's my roommate.”
“Woah, seriously?” the guy backs off in shock. “Sorry about that dude,” he tries grinning at me, bending down to get to my height, then offers me an apologetic fist bump. As I'm lowering my arm, he just has to go on. “If you don't want to get mistaken for a girl, why don't you cut your hair?”
“My hair...?” I ask stupidly, most of my thoughts still forcing down the tears welling up from inside. I grab a lock, looking at it. It's nice and smooth because I always take good care of it, and colored platinum blond, falling to the tops of my shoulders. That isn't all that long, is it?
“I think... my hair makes me look cool. Like a rock star or something...” I mumble an answer. It's the answer I've always given whenever my Dad told me to cut it. I don't know, I just really like my hair...
The man scratches his chin, his look saying loud and clear that he doesn't get it. “Well, you do you, I guess,” he shrugs it off. Then he claps one hand down on my shoulder and offers the other for a handshake. “Andre Blumen, class 2-B.” So a second year. Right, he has a yellow tie...
I take his hand and answer, “Seiko Maka, class 1-C.”
We go around, doing the rest of the introductions, before the three guys wave us on, directing us toward the hall where we'll find our room. Moving past them, we look around for a bit. The common room has plenty of chairs, couches, and tables for lounging studying, gaming, whatever. There's a kitchen with some counter space for eating attached to the common room, with a long bar and bar stools too. It looks really nice and roomy, actually.
We peek into the bathroom, and it looks pretty big. It has a changing area, wash area, and an open bath, so it's well suited for so many people living here. It would probably be really enjoyable, but I can't shake the knot of worry about bathing with other people, especially guys who are all going to make fun of me...
Thankfully, when we finally wander our way over to our room, it has a its own washroom, with a shower. At least I don't have to use the bath if it makes me too uncomfortable...
Our boxes are all stacked up in the doorway, and the furniture is already in place. A pair of beds, one on each wall, with empty dressers and bookshelves at the end. Desks for working between the beds, set up right in front of the window. And a little scrubby green floor rug in the middle of the faux wood floor. All in all, it looks pretty generic, probably what they have in all the dorm rooms.
It's sparse, but has plenty of room for each of us. All we do is point, at the same time, to claim our sides. Me on the left, him on the right. Laughing between us, we get to unpacking.
----------------------------------------
My mood finally lifts as afternoon fades to night. We pull out all our stuff. His laptop, my computer. His books, my weights. His game console, and my TV projector. We negotiated on that one earlier, each of us saving up for one of the two so we would have both once we moved in here. He throws up the posters all around the room with a sloppy tape job, and I pull out my statuettes and plushies, organizing them on my bookshelves and bed.
Then we get our computer stuff set up, along with the projector and game console. Since there isn't anywhere else for it, we stick it to the ceiling so it points to the door out. Not the best solution, we'll probably get a screen at some point to project onto. The console goes with the other computer stuff and Ken sets up the wireless link with the projector while I make the beds... as much as I can. I'm not really sure how, but I do my best.
We talk and talk the entire time, about anything and everything. What we think of the school so far, how scary that psion was earlier, (and how hot she was). Actually, if she just came back from the military, that makes her older than us, doesn't it?
Once we bring that up, I mention how any adult can join, but if they delay for more than two years, they aren't allowed to go to high school anymore because they're too old. Which is ridiculous - high school is voluntary anyway, so there's no good reason to have age limits like they do.
“Wait, seriously?” Ken balks.
“Yeah, my Mom was going on about it one day for some reason. Apparently it's a serious problem and the government isn't doing anything about it.” Of course, when Dad overheard, he claimed the military teaches you everything there is to know...
“Well no shit, aren't they supposed to teach us like, how to actually be adults here? The hell are you going to do if you just skip all that?” Not to mention, no job wants to hire someone who doesn't even bother to go to high school.
“Exactly.” We both shake our heads. God, our military is messed up. I actually feel kind of bad for Vicca now, having to join because of her family or whatever. Being a psion, it's amazing she came back to high school at all...
Sure enough, the night eventually winds down as we get all our stuff unpacked. When we're basically done, Ken asks, “We going to the bath or nah?”
“No, it's late and I'm...” Hmm, “Actually, let's do that.” Since it's so late, hopefully it will be empty.
“Sure, let's go,” he shrugs.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
While Ken digs some extra boxers and a towel out of his dresser, I grab my bath stuff. On our way down the hall, he asks, “What's that?”
“Hmm? Bath stuff.” I lift the bag a little, and he just gives a questioning look, before shrugging and dropping it.
As I expected, when we get to the bathroom, it's deserted. We throw our clothes into a couple baskets, take our towels, and move over into the bath. When we sit down to wash off, Ken mutters, “Huh, this is pretty new. Never really did public bathing before. I wonder what it's like when it's crowded...?”
“Eh,” I try to sound unconcerned when I shrug, and start pulling my stuff out. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, a scrubber...
“Uhh...” As I'm starting to lather with the shampoo, Ken's confused voice draws my attention.
I look over and ask, “What?” Without meaning to, I catch sight of his penis as he rubs himself with a bar of soap.
Immediately snapping my head in the other direction, I blush all the way to my hairline. I know he started puberty early, but what the hell was that? It's- I mean, ok, he's a huge guy in general, so I guess I shouldn't be that surprised, but seriously!
“Sei?”
“Y-yeah?”
“Come on, we're both guys,” he laughs and slaps me on the back. “Nothing to be that embarrassed about. You're just a late bloomer.” An absurdly late bloomer...
“Y-yeah...” I mumble. I'll definitely get more manly... As I get anxious about that, I keep working the shampoo into my hair, then rinse, and get started on the conditioner. I'm only up to scrubbing myself when Ken rinses off.
Did he just... soap his hair...?
With a dull horror, I watch him wash the soap out of his bright red hair, give it a shake, and it's right back to its normal spiky look. H-how...?
“You almost done, dude?” he asks, looking me over.
Even if it's Ken, I still shy back under his gaze, answering, “Y-yeah, almost. Just need to finish with this...”
“Alright, I'll wait then.” Sitting on his stool, Ken spreads his legs and rests his elbows on his thighs, leaning over into a comfortable, if kind of weird posture... Trying to ignore that, I finish scrubbing myself with my body wash. I did it extra fast today since Ken's waiting, so the conditioner didn't have that long to soak in, but it should be good enough.
Thinking as much, I rinse off, and stand up. “Alright, done.” I throw my shower stuff back into my little bag and slide it off to the side of the room, grab my towel, and we both move over to the nice, hot open air bath.
Sinking into it with a contented moan, I think how this is amazing. So much nicer than a little bath at home. I could get used to this... Ken slides in next to me, and we both sit there, enjoying the silence and soaking in the wonderful warmth of the water.
Eventually, Ken lifts himself up out of the bath. I glance up at him, and manage not to give myself whiplash when I accidentally get a eyeful between his legs again. Don't freak out, it's just Ken, I tell myself. Still, I feel like after my Dad, he's everything I've ever imagined when I think of a 'man.' Sure, he's not the most bulked up guy ever, but he's still got the big arms, with thick, toned muscles that a man should.
Meanwhile, I can bench press ten times my body weight, but I have no muscle to speak of. It doesn't make any damn sense...
“You coming, or you want to stay longer?”
I consider it. It's so nice here, I want to soak more. But... it's a bad idea. If anyone came in, I know it wouldn't end well. So I stand. “Yeah, coming.”
I grab my shower bag on the way out, change into some fresh boxers, and hang my towel around the back of my neck. Once we're out of the bathroom, the cooler air in the hall makes me shiver a little. Maybe I should change into heavier clothes after baths? Well, it's spring right now, so it won't be too bad once summer comes...
We pass through the common room on the way back, and it turns out we aren't the only people still up. “Hey you, wrong dorm.” A guy sitting in a chair stands, dropping his book into the seat and staring at me, straight at my chest. I anxiously cover myself with my hanging towel, even as I tell myself there's nothing for me to cover, and slide behind Ken. Can't I even walk back to my room in peace?
“Right dorm, Sei is a guy,” Ken corrects, crossing his arms and planting his feet.
“Do you think I was born yesterday?” the man deadpans. “If she gets caught here overnight, we'll all get an earful you know.”
“I'm telling you, he's a guy. We're roommates,” Ken argues back. In response, the man hooks his hands on his hips and stares at me with a frown, not even responding. Why won't he believe us...?
“I... I am a guy,” I tell him.
“Says the little girl hiding behind her boyfriend's back,” he snaps back, and I flinch, my heart thundering.
“He's not- I'm really a guy!”
“Uh huh.”
“I- I am!”
“Mm.”
Why is this guy such an asshole?! “Hey, Sei, chill,” Ken tries to calm me down, putting a hand on my shoulder.
“I... I...” I start to deflate. Don't cry...
“Come on, you have nothing to prove to that dickhead. Let's just go.” Pulling me forward, Ken shoulders past the asshole, and but we only make it to our hall before the guy calls out.
“Look how small she is. You know it's illegal if she's underage, right? I'm going to have to call the police.”
“The fuck-”
“I'm a boy!” shout over Ken. “I... I have a fucking dick!”
“Pssh, yeah right,” he just brushes me off.
Stalking forward, I think all of my feelings from today are overflowing at once. “Why don't you believe me, you piece of shit?!”
He just raises an eyebrow and asks, “Would you?”
All my protests die in my throat. I should say 'yes,' but I can't. I'm supposed to be a guy, but instead, I'm like this...
Squeezing my eyes shut to keep the tears in, I scream through my clenched teeth, and yank down my boxers.
“The fu-” he stammers, but I don't know or care about anything after that. With my whole body flushing red and ashamed, I pull them back up, then cry my way back to my room. I flail my hand at the reader to get the door to open and throw myself down on my bed, grabbing a plushy and squeezing it to my chest while I cry.
I hate this. Why did I think it would be any different here? Who cares if I'm an adult now, I'm never going to be the man I'm supposed to be. I'll never be the strong, manly man my parents want, no matter how much I try. No matter how much I trained, it never made any difference! My body won't be the way it's supposed to be!
Sobbing into my hands, I feel a hand gently patting me on the back. I don't know when the last time was Ken had to comfort me like this. I tried not to cry. I always tried not to cry because men shouldn't cry, but I couldn't do that either...
My parents would be so disappointed with me. No matter what I've done, I've never lived up to what I'm supposed to be... Why is it always like this?
I wish I could just be a girl instead, then no one would tell me to be a boy.
Eventually, my cries die down to sniffles. My head is foggy. “Don't worry, Sei, it'll be alright. You just need more time, you'll grow, then you'll show all those asses what's up. You're the biggest baddass I've ever met, never forget that.”
“...Thanks, Ken...” It's a small comfort, but at least no matter how other people see me, Ken will always be there. I roll over, burying my head into my pillows and plushies, and try to get some sleep.