From my afternoon checkup, we head back to my room. After a quick shower, I spend hours agonizing over tomorrow's meeting with Mom. I keep talking at Leona, considering how to say it.

Do I just tell her? Do I show her? Show up in girl clothes? Surprise! This is me now!

Oh lord I think I'm going to be sick.

Leona forces me to stop long enough to go into the common room and eat something for dinner. Cooking helps me keep my mind off of things, and I'm starving, as usual. So much exercise all the time will do that.

After eating, it's back to my room to low-key anxiety ramble about tomorrow. I go through my dresser, considering and reconsidering what to wear. I pull up maps, marking a bunch of spots in Teekton where we might go after we meet up.

It's no surprise when I break down crying. Eventually, Ken shows up, freezing in the door when he sees me crying into Leona's lap, her stroking my hair comfortingly. He looks around, my clothes strewn all over the floor, and asks, “You, uhh... need any help...?”

Apparently, the question is directed at Leona, because she answers, “I'm not really sure. Seiko is really stressed about tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I get that,” he sighs, and starts collecting my clothes from the floor. He turns them around, sniffs them, then shrugs and puts them back in my still-open dresser. “You want me to come?” he asks as he works.

I don't even hesitate, I nod emphatically, the motion flicking some tears from my face.

“Jen too?” he asks while pulling out his mobile. I freeze. He still doesn't know. But... would having her there help? Would I feel safer? We've been getting along better since the shopping trip...

“No.” I shake my head. I have enough to worry about tomorrow. I don't think I have the strength to add all the stuff with Jen to that.

“You sure?” He looks really surprised by that one.

“Yeah. There's some... stuff right now. I can't deal with that.”

“If you say so.” He pockets his mobile without another word, and sits down at the edge of my bed, joining Leona in rubbing a big hand over my back.

“It'll be fine, Sei,” he encourages me. “You're the strongest person I know.” Strong? Really? When he sees my look, he grins. “In here,” and taps my chest with a fist.

I smile, and start crying again. At first he's worried about what he said, but Leona waves him off and says they're obviously happy tears. I can't manage to speak, so I bob my head to agree.

----------------------------------------

Leona doesn't leave until I pass out, still crying in her lap. She's there when I wake up in the morning, but in new clothes, so she must have gone back to her own room at some point overnight.

Climbing out of bed, I feel like shit. I slept terribly, and even though it's vague, I think I had a bunch of bad dreams about this all going wrong. I'm still anxious, even as Leona pushes me into the wash room and orders me to take a nice, long shower. She'll pick out my clothes for me.

It's a great idea. I stand under the hot water, letting it run over me for a minute, the wonderful caress soon settling my anxiety. Instead of pushing aside the heat and the arousal that comes on from the warmth and wetness like I usually do to focus on showering, I let it take me. I know I need this right now.

I lean back, letting myself focus on all the prickling drops as they roll over every centimeter of my skin. My hands come up, touching myself. Rubbing, squeezing caressing gently, allowing the water to do the rest of the job. My voice leaks out, a low moan. Sensual even to my own ears. It's so much different like this...

I lose myself in the pleasure. I don't know for sure just how long. I just keep it up as the desire builds, like a heat inside me. At some point, I need more. I take the shower head down, bringing it closer, pressing it to my skin and feeling the euphoric massage of the pressurized water against my belly.

“Ahh!” I moan, louder this time. My head rolls back against the wall of the shower stall, and I pant out, my breath coming fast. I think I'm...

My muscles start to twitch. I know this feeling. From back then, when I first learned how to do this. But it's even more now. I bite my lip, shoulders trembling. The hand holding the shower head quivers, and I almost lose my grip on it. I bring it up again, rolling it around, over my belly and sides.

My other hand touches my breast, following my instincts. “Nngh!”

They were too sensitive before, but now... My finger rubs across my nipple and I gasp, my toes starting to curl. It makes my head go funny, but I don't stop this time. I keep rubbing, my back pressing against the wall as my legs go weak. The more I do it, the better it feels!

I'm, I'm-

“Nrngaahh!” I practically shout when the sensation finally peaks, and my body shudders. I do lose my grip on the shower head this time, and it swings down against the other wall while I tremble, electric spasms coursing up and down my body. I slide down to the floor, panting heavily. I sit there for a bit, after shocks coming from time to time. As soon as I think they're finished, another one washes over me.

When they do finally taper off, I stagger up to my feet again. I still feel a little weak and twitchy, but that huge rush of pleasure definitely helped my anxiety. Maybe it's just the afterglow, but I feel better now. More calm.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

I finally get to my actual shower, surprised when the hot water pouring over me makes my whole body shake and I immediately moan out loud. Oh shit, why does it still feel so good? I thought- That's right, I heard about this. Girls don't like, shut down after orgasm, do they? If anything, my body is even more sensitive now. I can barely take the water on my skin, it's so good it almost feels painful. It makes all my insides twist up in pure bliss.

Thinking as much, I point the shower head off to the side while I shampoo my hair and scrub myself. “Oh, fuck...” I groan, the scrubber over my skin makes all my muscles clench up again. I push through it, but by the time I'm done, I'm panting heavily and I can hardly stand.

“Oh god, this body feels so good...” I mumble, running water over my head to wash the shampoo out. The conditioner goes in, and I massage it into my scalp and hair. I don't care anymore, I just enjoy the absurdly pleasurable feelings as I rub it in. My mind clouds over and I can't think too clearly through the heat and arousal by the time I rinse out the conditioner.

That's right, I'm done, aren't I? I stagger back out, towel off, and rub lotion over my quivering, happy body. I wrap a towel around myself, and walk out of the wash room. Leona is waiting with my clothes ready, and Ken is still standing off to the side.

Even in my current state, I jolt when his head snaps to me. “Ken?” I ask uncertainly.

Ken gulps. His hand covers his suddenly beat red face, then I can see him physically tear his eyes off of me. I glance to Leona, but she's just glancing back and forth between us.

Ken coughs roughly before he says, “Sorry, you just smell. It's really strong.” His voice is deep, gruff, and rumbling as he stares away from me. This again? Ken's never reacted so strongly before. I look back at Leona, questioning whether she smells it with a look. She sniffs the air and she shrugs.

“Don't worry, I don't smell anything weird.”

“Right...” I take the clothes she offers me and retreat back into the wash room. “What's up with that? I washed my hair this time, but...” I take some time and push down the last of the arousal bubbling in my chest as I stare at the clothes Leona gave me.

I can't help but smile. She chose one of my usual bras, and my only pair of pink silk panties. Then there's a pair of comfortable, very light colored, pale blue girl jeans. They're a little loose so they won't be immediately noticeable as such. For the top, it's not even mine, but it's just as comfortable as mine when I touch it. When I look at it, I remember, and star beaming.

Once I'm dressed, I step out of the wash room, holding the big hoodie Leona included over one arm so she can see the soft pink, well cut top with the slick, pointed collar. It hugs the rest of my form nicely, showing off my still modest bust and narrow waist as well as it can. It's not too long either, pretty much meeting the top of my jeans so when I stretch, a little skin shows through the gap. “You remembered.”

“So did you,” she grins back. It's exactly like the one she wore so long ago, the first time we hung out together, when I told her I liked her shirt. Only this is in my size, and pink, like she said would look good on me. She promised to let me borrow one 'later.' I guess later finally came.

Suddenly, I'm feeling a whole lot more confident for the upcoming meeting. I look good, I feel good, this is good. Yeah. I bob my head a few times as I glance around, but Ken is gone. “Umm?”

“He stepped outside.”

“He keeps saying I smell 'really girly' when I get out of the shower,” I explain, “but I have no idea what that means and can't find a pattern to it.”

“Huh.” She sniffs the air again and says, “You smell nice, but it's nothing huge...”

“Yeah, I don't get it. It's only sometimes, but he had a much stronger reaction this time than usual.”

“And you didn't do anything different this time?”

“I...”

Oh fuck I'm dense.

“N-n-nevermind!” I blush from ear to ear.

“I guess you figured it out?” She looks amused, like she knows what I did. Refusing to continue this conversation, I throw on the big black hoodie in my hands and stop thinking about that.

It falls all the way to my thighs, completely obscuring my girl clothes. I still don't know how I'm going to tell Mom, what I'm going to say, but if I have to show her, I just have to take off the big pullover.

We head out of the room, and Ken's waiting in the hall. It looks like he's recovered from earlier, asking if we're all set. We all head off together. We don't have the will to make breakfast ourselves, so we don't stop in the kitchen and decide to pick up some fast food on the way.

As we head across campus, my anxiety slowly picks up again, until we arrive at the transport terminal, but... Jen is waiting for us.

“You're going, right?”

I stand, unsure what to say. Leona starts to step forward, until I grab her arm to stop her. “Yeah.”

“You... can I... come with you?”

“...No.” Saying the word hurts.

“Alright.” Jen bows out, stepping aside. But seeing that- Seeing her accept my decision with absolutely no hesitation...

“Jen.” She looks up again, even with tears in her eyes. “Why did you want to come?”

Again, she doesn't even think. “To be there for you.”

“...Come.” I don't understand my own decision. It just feels like the right thing. Jen nods her head, almost frantically, and moves to join us, though she still keeps a step behind. Ken sends a look my way. We still don't talk much at school, so he hasn't seen how stilted things are between us when we actually do.

I think it's pretty clear I don't want to talk about it, but Ken can be dense too sometimes...

“What's going on between you two?” he asks.

I huff, “I don't want to talk about it right now.”

“That's fine.” At least he backs off.

After we get on the shuttle, it stops at the mall as usual, then a fast food place so we can eat, before speeding off toward Teekton. The ride is quiet, slowly growing more tense along the way, the closer we get.

“Hey,” Jen breaks the silence. “Remember that time we went to Teekton? Second year middle school?”

“Umm...” I'm not really sure. They were a year ahead, so I didn't go with them, but I don't quite remember if my class went there either...

“There was that... uhh, trampoline place?” she offers. “You went too, right?”

“...Yeah.” I think I do remember that place. It made enough of an impression that I enjoyed it, even on my own. “What about it?”

“Well, umm...” Jen rubs her thumb along her cheek. “I don't know. Just... uhh, trying to to break the tension?”

“...Thanks...” There are a few more halting attempts at conversation after, and while none of them really go anywhere, it does help. It's better than dead air. Between them, my friends manage to keep it up until we make it to Teekton.