While we're on our way back to school, Gon walks me through how to order my replacement uniforms. His final decision for the fabric after our entire day out shopping is a blend of cotton, bamboo, and spandex, in varying compositions for each piece of clothing. He opts for cotton microfiber in place of regular cotton for my gym clothes though, saying the significantly increased price is worth it to help keep me from overheating. I input most of the information, but hold off on sending it in until I can talk to the doctor and get a note from her for it.
When we're nearing the school campus, I glance over to Jen a few times. The awkward tension definitely eased a little throughout all the clothes shopping, which is good. It's going to take time, but I think there's hope to fix things eventually.
Once we split up at the transport terminal, Leona directs me first to the dorms to drop off my new clothes. We trek all the way across campus, and my arms are giving out by the time we reach the dorm building. Also, I don't know if it's the heat or because I'm still wearing my old clothes, but I'm absolutely dying, every bit of my clothing soaked through with sweat and the scratchy fabric is unbearable.
But Leona just urges me on, telling me I'm doing great and we're almost there. God, why didn't I wear my comfortable clothes back? The junk I'm wearing now is drenched and feels like it's going to rub my skin raw.
As usual, all eyes are on us as we pass through the men's dorm, but this time, everyone is staring at the huge bags of clothes I have on each arm. There are murmurs and question, wondering what's going on, all the way through our common room. Leona opens the door for me since I can't lift my arms from my sides, and we both enter.
As soon as we're out of sight of prying eyes, all the anxious, terrified tension goes out of me, and I melt onto my bed, dropping the bags off the side.
“Good job, Seiko. You made it all the way back. You really are exceptionally strong, that was quite a hike to do with so much weight.” Leona's earnest compliment has me smiling at the ceiling for a few moments, before I realize-
“Ugh.” I roll off my bed, onto the floor with these nasty clothes. I don't want to get my bedding all dirty and sweaty with them. Once I've had a minute to rest on the floor and a bottle of water, Leona urges me upright again.
“Let's get this all taken care of, sound good?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
So, we empty my dresser. Everything gets pulled out and dumped in my hamper. Then I cart the bin out the door, through the common room, with Leona close at my side and every eye on me. I dump the entire thing straight into the trash, then go back for another load.
I try, but there's no ignoring the conversations, not even staying below the level of whispers at this point. Everyone's wondering why I'm suddenly replacing all my clothes. It takes a few trips to trash everything, then I pull off the vile clothes I've been wearing, swapping into another set of indistinct guy's clothes that while no better looking, at least don't feel like sweaty, chafing death rubbing against my now very irritated skin.
When I make one last trip, clearly holding the clothes I was wearing right up until now, a few men actually laugh out loud. There's no question among the rumors now. I'm throwing out all of my clothing. I shove them down into the trash with everything else, returning to my room with Leona one last time. I pull the new clothes from the huge bags, as well as the lingerie store bag with my new underwear, and take some time arranging all my new clothes in my dresser.
That doesn't actually take too long, but I do have to basically designate one spot in each drawer for the girl clothes of each type as I go. The only things that survived the cull were my uniforms, I can't toss them until I get new ones. That drawer remains untouched.
With all of that done, we finally head to the infirmary. A short way from the dorm, Leona gets an idea. Since my arms are tired but my legs still have some energy in them, she asks if I'm alright carrying her. It seems like a big ask, but... “Sure,” I agree hesitantly.
I don't have any real issue touching Leona anymore, but having her climb up on my back is embarrassing nonetheless. I grit my teeth and push. She's so much bigger than me, and she has a lot of solid muscle on her. She isn't remotely fat, but she's damn heavy.
I struggle forward, on burning, shaking legs as I slowly but surely close in on the school building, aiming for the section near the gym. I try, I really try, but I can't make it to the infirmary. I collapse shortly past the gym, like a puddle on the floor. When I do, it's like all the pressure falls off of me. It's a weird feeling, but I'm too tired and sweat-drenched to examine it very closely.
“Good job Seiko,” Leona praises me again as I lie on the cool floor, panting desperately for air. “Just rest now.” She carries me to the infirmary and lays me down on the bed. Soon after, Doctor Belinda comes over with some water.
“I know Maka-chan has recovered, but please don't push her too far, Vicca-san,” she sighs as she carefully has me sip water from a cup a little at a time.
“Seiko is unexpectedly strong. I know it's rough, but I think Seiko can do it. Thanks for always working so hard,” she directs an unexpectedly warm smile at me.
Once I've recovered enough to sit up, and downed a few more glasses of water, Leona braces herself, climbing up on top of me. “Are you comfortable enough to be pinned?” she asks quietly. Her eyes are serious, searching mine for any signs of discomfort.
“It's fine, thank you for asking.”
“Alright.” She pins my hands to the bed, and I push weakly against her. I'm already so tired, but it doesn't really matter. I only need to keep it up for a few moments so she can lean down and check my current energy. Then she backs off, immediately asking if I'm alright again.
“Yeah, I'm fine,” I say. My heart rate picked up again, but I'm not panicking. I feel safe doing this with her.
“Good,” she doesn't even try to hide her relief. “So, you still have a lot of energy, but you burned off a lot more than I expected. Things aren't looking too bad. It'll take a while since we're kind of already in the hole, but you should be able to burn it all off eventually.” I nod emphatically. Even if it means going back to random effects every day, I'll feel way safer once I have my full strength back and I can protect myself again.
Now that Leona knows how much energy she has to use, she starts charging up. I never knew this looked different to other people. I glance toward the doctor, who's turned away. Then I look back up at Leona while I pull up my soaking wet shirt and bra.
I'm aware of the heavy press of the air around me as she gets there, coming down with her hands pressed firmly against me. Her forehead touches mine, and my breath catches amid another blinding indigo wave. With the rush of power through me, I can feel it again. Those new senses beyond my perception. The energy. The power. It's all there, but beyond my grasp.
Leona pulls away, panting, with beads of sweat forming on her brow, and all the sensations fold themselves up into nothing again within the span of a breath. While I fix my clothes, Leona sends the data off, then comes back and helps me sit up on the end of the bed.
It only takes a short conversation with the doctor, mentioning my skin issues, to get her signed letter for my special order uniforms. I add that to my pending request with the manufacturer, then send it. The automatic response comes back that they should be made and delivered in up to two days' time. I guess I just have to put up with horrible uniforms for another couple days...
With a tired thanks, we head back. Along the way, my I receive a second message. The invoice for my order, after someone looked it over, comes in at a pretty staggering cost, mostly because the specially processed bamboo fabric Gon recommended is considered a pretty exotic foreign product, so it's really expensive, and they need to make me a whole set of new uniforms out of it, so it really adds up.
Even after that is deducted, I still have a lot of money in my account, but just the thought that I went through so much in a single day is mind-boggling. I spent more money on clothes today than my entire life up to this point. Well, it's not like there's anything I can do for it. All that money was from psi-ops, and I sort of needed to replace all of my clothes because of everything going on because I'm working for them now, so guess it kind of evens out?
I shrug, I'm probably overthinking it. We plod at my slow, exhausted pace back to the dorms, trying to mentally prepare myself for more school tomorrow, and Leona escorts me straight to my room again.
When I get there, Ken is watching TV with a couple guys, but I actually recognize one of them this time. I squint and point. “...Bro-...san?”
He makes finger guns back. “Bro~”
“...Bro...” I mumble with a sigh. What a silly name... At least I feel like he's a probably-harmless goof. It's the other guy I don't recognize that puts me on edge. He's pretty big, but he doesn't pay me much attention after a quick glance.
I'm all sweaty and gross, so I want to take a shower, but there are guys out here... I decide to make the best of it, digging through my dresser to pull out a change of guy clothes, with a nice big, gray hoodie. I decide to skip underwear since I'll be going to sleep soon anyway and don't see much reason to dirty another pair. I call out that I'm taking a shower, and the guys wave without much comment.
Once I'm alone in the wash room, I relax. I set my change of clothes on the sink and run the shower. My dirty clothes go on the floor, balled up so no one will see the underwear when I have to carry it to the bin on my way out.
I've gotten used to hiding my underwear. I have no idea what that says about me... Ignoring the thought, I tie up my hair since I'm not washing it today, and get in the shower. Just like last time, the assault of the hot water all over my body is incredible and I let out a moan without even meaning to. Shit, this is too good, I think I'm going to get turned on every time...
I push through the feeling like butterflies in my stomach and heat flushing my skin, quickly using some body soap and a scrubber to get myself clean. I keep things short, and get out before the ridiculous caress of hot water can get me too worked up. After toweling off, I put on some lotion, frowning when I realize I've used more than half since I got it. I add that to my little mental shopping list, and finish, then throw my ugly, but thankfully comfortable guy clothes on.
I shake myself, patting my cheeks and trying to get the aroused blush to go down. At least the feeling doesn't make my body do stupid things anymore. I can just ignore it with a bit of effort.
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Once I'm satisfied that I'm dressed inconspicuously, I pull out my hair tie to let my hair back down and head back into my room, dumping my ball of clothes down into the bottom of my empty hamper, and climb into bed.
Despite trying not to do anything weird or draw any attention, I can feel all of the guys staring at me, their eyes following my every move as I glance in their direction in my peripheral. What is it? I have a big hoodie and jeans on, it's not like they would notice anything, right?
Even when I'm under the covers, I keep feeling their eyes straying in my direction. But they weren't paying any attention to me earlier! I quickly discover that unlike when my body was male, the anxiety pushes all sexual feelings out of my head instantly. I go cold and huddle up with my plushies and duck further under my blanket until they can hardly even see my eyes peeking out anymore.
Apparently that works. Within a few minutes, their attention shifts away from me again, but I remain that way for a while longer, scooping a ferret plush up to my chest and hugging it tight. I'm tired, but clearly not comfortable enough to sleep, so I drowse for a while, until the guys leave. Only then, do I emerge from the safety of my plush cocoon.
“Sei, did you... do something?” Ken asks immediately once we're alone.
“Umm? I mean, I guess I got a hair cut? Why were you all staring at me like that?” For even Ken to stare...
He glances to my hair, but doesn't seem to recognize anything there. I guess he can't tell the difference. Then he responds, “I don't know, you just... Sorry, this is going to sound weird.” I'm already frowning. “You smelled really girly.”
“Huh?”
He throws his hands up in surrender. “Sorry, I don't know. Did you use some kind of, uhh, something for your hair? Something with a strong scent? Or like, perfume or something?”
I shake my head. “I didn't wash my hair. My body wash has a little strawberry scent to it, but nothing...” I wave a hand vaguely, but I know he gets my point. Nothing that would have a room full of men staring me down and saying I smell girly. Whatever that means.
I shiver. I don't understand what happened, but that was creepy. And potentially dangerous. Why would I smell like a girl? What do girls smell like anyway? Skin? Sweat? Everyone smells like that, and I just took a shower anyway. I shouldn't smell like anything except what I used to clean myself.
Without any good explanation for the disquieting experience, I text Leona about it, mostly just to let her know that something happened. Though I have no idea what. With so little information to go on, she just tells me she'll think about it, after double checking that I feel safe now.
Well, there isn't much more to do about that, and I'm tired, so I eventually fall asleep.
----------------------------------------
Lying across the desk, I sigh and thank Gon for his material recommendations. The exorbitant cost for these was absolutely worth it.
Since I'd healed, I had to start participating in gym class again, which was absolute hell and left me with my skin painful and irritated until they finally delivered my new uniforms and I got to class, comfortable for the first time in way too long.
Even if they have a bit of stiffness when I move, these feel incredible against my skin, finally giving me a break from the constant rubbing and irritation. The only issue is heat, since it's getting hotter by the day. I think this fabric breathes pretty well, but it can only do so much through a shirt, vest, and jacket.
In any case, I thank Gon, but as always, he isn't actually here. I have started wondering about that. He said he avoids people, so could it be he's not with friends like I guessed? He's probably... hiding away alone during breaks...
“Hey, Seiko-san.” Amari calling me pulls me from my worries about Gon. “Is that your new uniform? Can I feel?”
I consider the request. I haven't let the two purple-haired girls touch me since everything happened. But I'm feeling a lot more secure and happy lately, and at least the logical part of my brain says they're friends and would respect my boundaries.
It's a good opportunity, so I take it. “Sure.” I try to play it cool and hold my arm up for her to touch. When she does, her fingers grabbing and rubbing the soft fabric between them, I don't even flinch this time. Yeah, I really am starting to feel better.
“Uwwaaa...” Amari gapes, mouth wide open like she's about to drool. “This feels incredible, what's it made of?”
While I'm recounting different parts to Amari, she waves Lucy in too. After another short hesitation, I give her the go ahead. Having both of them rub against me actually... it feels really nice.
Yes, I like being able to touch my friends...
It seems we draw the attention of Bray Folle, the class rep though. I'm almost worried for a moment that he's going to chew us out for being too touchy feely, but instantly realize that's ridiculous after everything he's already seen us doing on breaks.
“Maka-san, everyone was saying you threw out all of your old clothing, is that a new uniform?”
That's what he's asking about? Why is he even interested...? While I'm a little suspicious, I confirm his guess anyway.
“Alright...” He leans down since he's so much taller and I'm sitting, and peers at my clothes in a way that immediately puts me on edge and Leona on her feet.
“It looks alright, I just have to confirm, it's regulation and everything?”
I blink. So that's what this is about? “Yeah, I put the order through with the manufacturer just like usual. I got the medical ok and everything.”
Folle raises a brow at the last part, but doesn't question it. Right, no one knows why I suddenly replaced my entire wardrobe. What he does says is, “Alright, that's fine, as long as our class doesn't get in any trouble with the staff. What about summer uniforms?”
I nod. “Yeah, those were part of the full set.”
“Good good, that's all. See ya.” He waves a hand without concern and returns to his seat.
But now I'm thinking.
“Oh shit.”
Our summer uniforms. We switch at the start of summer. June first. A week and a half from now. I've been completely shutting that out of my thoughts until now. I immediately pose the question to my friends, to a whole row of understanding grimaces. No one has an easy solution for me.
I wind up worrying about it all day after that, only stopping after school when I have to carry Leona halfway across campus from our class to the infirmary. With this and other exercises between classes, I've managed to keep up our daily checkups, though I haven't accomplished much in terms of actually decreasing the energy still inside me. There's just so much of it. It's really hard on Leona every day, so I'm trying my hardest too.
Of course, that means after today's checkup, I return to my room and attempt to lift my old weights, gritting my teeth and straining my muscles as hard as I can until I've got nothing left and finally collapse entirely.
I lie on the floor for a while in a literal puddle of my own sweat, as gross as that is. I have been sweating a lot more lately, haven't I? I guess it's part of the changes to my skin, Leona did mention I'll overheat more easily. Am I sweating more to compensate or something?
Eventually, Ken comes back, and I wave at him from the floor. He stops in the doorway and jerks his head to let me know there are other people besides him, so I can quickly make myself decent by throwing my jacket back on over my drenched, very see through uniform shirt.
I kick a towel on the floor too, to mop up the gross sweat as the guys shuffle inside. He's with a green-haired guy I recognize, though I don't remember his name. I've seen him hang out with Ken a few times before. Ken's made a lot of friends at the dorms. Even if it makes things harder for me, I'm glad for him. That I'm not holding him back or anything.
I quickly pull together a change of clothes and escape into the wash room to shower. After some though, I decide to wash my hair this time, wondering if I'll see any change in the pattern of the last few days. Apparently, every time I get out of the shower, I smell really girly. Ken has so far been completely incapable of describing what that actually means, and I'm seriously wondering if it's something with my skin. Like, the skin cells have been altered somehow to smell different when wet or hot or something.
But it's only when I shower. I'm sweating my ass off around these people all the time and no one ever mentions anything then. So maybe it's a reaction to the chemicals in my body wash? Or from scrubbing away dead skin?
I have a number of theories, but nothing has panned out yet. As planned, I wash and condition my hair, scrub myself down, and get back out pretty quick today. After toweling off, I put on some lotion, sniffing it again to make sure it still doesn't smell, before throwing on my nondescript guy clothes and walk out into my room.
I keep a careful eye on the guys as I walk over to my desk and pull out my homework. They aren't staring at me this time, so I think it worked...? Does washing my hair somehow counteract the smell I give off? Something in the chemicals conflicting with whatever else is going on?
Those questions continue to play through my head while most of my attention goes to my homework. When I eventually finish up, I roll right out of my desk chair into bed, and watch TV with the guys for a while longer.
“So, Yono-kun, how's it going with your girlfriend? Uhh, Dann-chan?”
“Runa? Well...” As he's starting to consider it, the guy looks away from the commercial playing on the TV and elbows him.
“You bang her yet?”
“Hah?!” Ken jolts at the question.
“Oh come on, you must have thought about it.” He jerks his head playfully, his spiky green hair flaring with the motion.
“W-well...” I see Ken's eyes flick to me, only now realizing what's happening through my own shock. It's guy talk. Like guys used to do in changing rooms and stuff. The way they talk about girls when there aren't any around.
Except now I'm here.
And of course, he directs the conversation my way. “Come on, even Maka-kun beat you to the punch. You've got a girlfriend now, man, don't you think it's about time you get your dick wet?” Oh god. Why?
“Come on,” Ken tries waving him off. “We're going at our own pace.”
“Really? I'm just saying, as the man, you'd be much better off taking the reins. If you leave it to women, those legs will stay closed forever.”
“Thanks, I'll, uhh, keep that in mind,” Ken says, clearly just trying to get out of the conversation. The guy apparently accepts that answer though, and drops it as the show comes back on. I don't really pay much attention after that though. This was a pretty rough reminder of how some men think about women...
A little while after, the guy leaves, and Ken turns off the TV. I'm rolled onto my side, staring at the wall with my cricket plushy held tight. I hear Ken's footsteps approach, then the shift as he sits on the edge of my bed.
“Sei, I'm sorry.”
“For what?”
“For Blumen-san. That must have made you uncomfortable. I'm sorry, you know how it is. Guys just... talk like that sometimes,” he sighs.
“You're a guy,” I feel compelled to point out.
“But I'm not like that.” Ken argues. “I'd never talk about a woman like that, it's disgusting.”
“I know. But...” I bite my lip, then roll over to face him. “You do want to have sex with Runa though, don't you?”
“W-well, uhh, I-” he sputters, going red. Before he glances away and goes on in a gruff tone. “I mean, yeah. I'm a guy. My dick tells me she's hot, there's nothing I can do about that. But that doesn't mean I can do anything one-sided. I care about Runa, I can't push her into it if she doesn't want to, or she isn't ready. Jen would kill me,” he adds, a small grin returning.
I sigh, the knot in my chest loosening. “How did I get like, the only decent guy as a friend?” Well, Gon and Finn are cool too... That changes my question to why so many of the guys around me are so much less sexist than everyone else, but Ken's already answering.
“You didn't get a good friend, you made one. You and Jen.” He rubs my head, smiling warmly. “I saw all the horrible shit people did to you just for being yourself, so of course I learned not to be like that. Who knows what I would be like if I hadn't met you? Thanks for that, Sei.” Well, that answers my question, doesn't it?
“Thanks, Ken.”
The night goes on comfortably. Ken does his homework while I surf the web for a bit, before we eventually turn in.