41 - King Godric Timberloaf III
Traladolar’s Throne Room, Eve of the Corn Wars
Back on the throne of Traldalor, Godric Timberloaf III sat high above the nobles, picking his nose with the Gauntlet of the One True King. He noticed the entire court watching him, and he slowly put the gauntlet down in hopes that maybe they would assume that he was merely scratching it. Unfortunately, a booger was stuck on the tip of the finger.
As if moving slower meant that no one would notice, he brought his hand down to the bottom of the throne and wiped the snot on the underside of the seat. The first attempt wasn't successful, so he tried it again. He fruitlessly attempted to clean the artifact, and eventually, a bold servant wiped the gauntlet clean.
"Thank you," Godric said, and turned back toward the audience watching him with wide eyes. He wasn't used to people paying so much attention to him. He had never been a man of much consequence before he became the new king of Traldalor. He had grown up in a small farming village that was sacked by orcs, resulting in the death of his mother and the loss of his father's legs. This meant that Godric had to learn to farm very quickly, while his father barked at him, strapped onto the family mule.
It wasn't until his father passed on from an accident involving a mule, the family's saw, three nails, and a wheat thresher that Godric had decided to act on his dream of seeing the world. He had sold all his worldly possessions and struck out on the open road.
The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
He was three months into his travels when he ran out of money and joined a gang of highwaymen to make ends meet. Godric was big and looked intimidating with a club, so most travelers would just give up their goods when they saw him. However, he was a big softy on the inside and didn't like hurting anyone.
Several weeks into his bandit career, a group of adventurers had killed most of his gang. Since they hadn't stopped to loot the bodies (an Adventuring 101 skill he had learned early), he waited until they fled the scene. He had searched through the battlefield and found a gauntlet that had been discarded by the big man who wielded an axe like a play toy.
The most peculiar aspect of the gauntlet was that it resized itself to fit his arm. Godric had reckoned the item was magical and figured it would fetch a fair price. But, unfortunately, the only place in the kingdom a person could unload an artifact was the capital of Traldalor. So, he had struck out to the big city, figuring he could make a small fortune on the piece of armor.
The gate guards of the city had taken a different approach. They took one look at the gauntlet and knelt down as if he were their king before whisking him away to the royal palace. That was how no account Godric, who had been told by his legless father many times that he wouldn't amount to anything, became king of all the land, or at least Traldalor at any rate, which was all the land as far as he was concerned.
Now, he didn't have the slightest clue what to do as king, so after a lot of uncomfortable staring, he said, "Anyone want to make some corn art? I do like that halfling corn art. Especially the ones of the Sky Lord. That big nose makes me laugh every time."
He was unaware that his one and only edict as king would plunge the kingdom into a dark period called the Corn Wars, but that is a tale for another time.