14 - The Silent Legion Rides Again

A Strange Keep, Who Knows

The members of the Silent Legion made their way through the halls of the strange keep in which they found themselves. They had fashioned makeshift weapons via turning chair legs into clubs and broom handles into quarterstaffs. Lady Sorsha found in her pocket the most peculiar dagger that folded in half. The worst part was that they were cut off from their magical powers.

When Lady Ameria had attempted to cast a seeing spell with some water they found in a strangely soft, clear bottle, it merely spilled on the ground. At least the body she was inhabiting had a singing voice. Otherwise, it would have been hard to ascertain if the lack of spellcasting was due to the water or the singing.

The same happened to Zafosaul. He had found Helfran flint and steel and wasn't able to do anything with it despite his best song. The fire had even burned his hand. Percy was at a disadvantage, too. When he stepped into a sunbeam, there was no way to access the divine light from his deity. Bolt was crippled with poor eyesight and wore spectacles.

What normally made them an unstoppable force was absent, and it was hard to project an air of stoic invincibility. Lovantus was a good ruler and leader not because he was the strongest, though it would be hard to find anyone who could best him in tests of strength. He could keep calm and rely on the talents of people around him.

In battle, there were few others he'd prefer to have around him than the Silent Legion, but now he wasn't so sure. They had flimsy weapons at best and were completely neutered of what made them so formidable. Hopefully, his castle aides were hard at work reversing whatever wizardry had brought them here.

Just as in his adventuring days, he relied on his court in the governance of the land. Sir Grey was his top man and decided most of the policies of the kingdom. The man was a noble and leader of the house that acted as steward to the throne. He had awaited the true king's return for ages. Sir Grey must have been delighted to see Lovantus stroll into the city with the Gauntlet of the One True King. The man seemed to be doing an excellent job because the peasants never revolted and came out in droves when Lovantus paraded across the city.

Truth be told, Lovantus never really cared much for being king, but had to do it to forge the alliance that struck down the Sky Lord. He might never have become king if it weren't for the necromancer in the first place. An orcish raiding party had slaughtered his village, and a young, evil, upcoming wizard was in their ranks.

Lovantus had witnessed the fell man drain the life from his parents before he was sold into slavery for the amusement of a lord in his arena games. When the farm boy refused to die and bested some of the tyrant's best gladiators, he was given proper training in the ways of the axe. He had killed many boys stuck in the same awful situation as himself as he ascended to arena champion. If it weren't for a young water maiden serving the windy Order of Slyph, he likely would have lost his way and become just another barbarian to live and die by the axe, barely worthy of a footnote in history.

Inspired by the maiden, Lovantus had plotted his escape from arena life. At the same time, the necromancer who had slaughtered his village was murdering orc chieftains and uniting the tribes for an assault on the Vale. It was as if Lovantus and Duke were intertwined, always destined to cross each other's path.

The days Duke will be drawing breath will be coming to an end, Lovantus now thought. T oday's mischief has gone too far. Lovantus realized he shouldn't have waited to raze the All-Seeing Tower, regardless of the magical wards placed on the fortress. Lady Ameria had insisted that without his armies to gather sacrifices for this blood magic, Duke's power was broken.

However, whatever magic had stolen their bodies and transported them to this realm was powerful. Maybe a common threat would be good for the kingdom because the races had grown apart during the years since the great battle. It wouldn't take much to rally the armies to march once again to ride on the necromancer’s lands.

It used to be that halflings were welcome in his city, and now they were seen as bottom feeders stealing work from honest folk. Even though Lovantus would give speeches attesting to the equality of all races, he didn't see it in practice. Halflings were shoved into workhouses, entire families in a space no larger than a horse's stall.

When he had asked Sir Grey about it, the man said it was more humane than forcing them to live in the sewers or tents outside the city walls where they were prey to bandits and robbers. When asked if they were given a wage to rent a domicile, Sir Grey had answered the question with complicated measures about what the economy could bear.

It was terribly complex for Lovantus, who was more comfortable with his axe than matters of the state. A good war with an evil overlord would do everyone good. The halflings could make soldier wages and live like kings. It seemed like a good enough solution, and this dastardly magic was just the excuse he needed to fire up the war machines again.

The group came across a set of double doors that appeared to lead to the outside world, as evidenced by the daylight streaming through the windows. Percy attempted once more to summon his divine magic with a tune, but nothing happened. They pushed through the doors to the light of day and were greeted by an adolescent running up to them from some giant metal beasts gathered a few meters away.

Lovantus signaled a battle formation, and they readied their makeshift weapons. The child headed their way had a peculiar, hooded tunic with an emblem comprised of three flower petals or spearheads. It was hard to tell. Lovantus had never seen a family crest like it. Even stranger were the letters 'a d i d a s' printed across under the seal. It was either a foreign language or a warrior's credo.

The kid stopped, and the metal creatures didn't seem to follow. They were either frozen in time or an extremely docile herd animal. The child seemed to know the bodies they inhabited and said to the barmaid that had inadvertently joined them, "Mr. Jackson, sorry I'm late. Principal Sokol added me at the last minute. Did he even tell you I was coming? I debated not even coming at all. I mean, would you have even noticed? Whoa! Tim, what are you doing here?! I plagiarized my English paper. I mean, I didn't plagiarize the entire paper. You just can't quote large amounts of text without attribution to the original author... did you know that? What's with all the broomsticks? Is it zombies?! Oh, I know – vampires."

"Fear not, young squire," Lovantus said. "If undead roamed these halls, we would have purged their filth from the kingdom."

"Holy shit," the kid said. "Petra? Is that your kid? My god, he can speak so well for his age. And getting him into LARPing early, I see. Never too early to LARP!"

"Me?" Lady Sorsha said, and pulled out her weak dagger, but it seemed to be enough to intimidate the boy. "He is not my child, but your sire, and you should address him as such."

"Mr. Jackson, a little help here. Are you the storyteller?"

Suzy tilted her head and said, "What? I'm just the barmaid. No one ever asks me for nothing around here. But since you're asking me opinion, lords and ladies are overrated. Fall asleep on the table with the rest of the drunkards. If you think lords are better than anyone else, just come to me bar for one night, and I'll show you they're bastards like the rest of us. But that's just me opinion, it is."

"Wow, you guys are all in. If I knew Saturday detention was this cool, I'd cheat on all my exams!"

"Sir?" Lady Ameria said. "Do you have a name?"

"Jack? You're seriously talking to me, like, acknowledging that I exist? There is something weird going on here. Toby. I'm Toby."

"Sir Toby."

"Just Toby."

"Right, then. Toby the Just, we seem to be under the influence of powerful magic and are unable to recall our lives."

Stolen story; please report.

"I have perfect clarity—" Lovantus bellowed as much as his three-year-old body would let him.

"He thinks we are someone else, dear," Ameria cut him off. "A wizard seems to have ensnared our minds."

"I don't get it," Toby said. "Oh, wait a second. MY GOD. Mr. Jackson. Did you get into Aiden's weed?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, love. Wait a moment. Is this the weed you speak of?" Suzy said, pulling out a bag of dried plants from her pocket. "I found it on the ground, I did, in the room where we woke up. Smells like smoker’s weed."

Zafosaul pulled out a glass pipe from his pocket and said, "I do believe that bag belonged to the person whose body I now inhabit. He had this in his pocket, and it smells suspiciously like smoker’s weed."

Suzy snatched the pipe from Aiden and said, "Do you still have that Helfran flint and steel? Could use some at the moment. Help clear me head."

Lady Sorsha smiled. "A halfling never lets good smoker’s weed go to waste. Pass it here when you are done."

Toby stood with his mouth agape while the pair lit up.

"I am named Jack, you say?" Lady Ameria asked Toby.

Toby regarded them for a moment and said, "Yeah, you're Jack. She's your girlfriend, Sissy." He pointed at Percy.

The Paladin blushed and said, "Oh, my, milady. I would never presume."

"This is Petra." Toby pointed to Lady Sorsha. "And her son, Jonathan."

The three-year-old's face turned red as his blood boiled. Lady Ameria placed her hand on his shoulder.

"You two are Tim and Baking Aiden," Toby said, and he pointed to the dwarf and elf in human teenager bodies.

"Is baking the reason my mind is in a fog?" Zafosaul questioned.

Suzy coughed. "I think it's the smoker’s weed. We don't have anything like this back home."

"Good." Lady Ameria locked arms with Percy, whose face turned red for an entirely different reason than the still-smoldering three-year-old. "Now that we know who we are, could you tell us where we are? Is this the kingdom of Helfra?"

"No," Toby said. "This is Beaverton. We can go driving around if you want. I heard that high people like to cruise when they... I've never done drugs myself—"

"I'm sure this Beaver Town is very nice, but we would like to be directed toward the nearest mages' guild."

"Um, I don't think we have one of those. Tim is so much better at this kind of stuff. I only LARP on weekends. Played some DnD when I was little."

"Scholars, perhaps? People of learning? Knowledge repositories?"

"Oh, the library! Yeah, I can take you to the library. It's not far."

"Splendid. Take us there."

"Okay, but first, I've got to save my mom."

"Your mother is in trouble?!" Lovantus exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell us this? We will make haste to reunite you with your kin!"

"Can you believe this kid?" Toby said. "Wait. You aren't letting him smoke that stuff. That'd be messed up."

"What fool do you take me for, boy?" Lovantus said. "My mind needs to be clear for battle at a moment's notice. Whether it be drink or smoker’s weed, a warrior's foes will not wait for the fog to clear!"

"I still can't get over it," Toby said. "Are you having fun with this role-playing, kiddo? Anyway, it's just a work thing. That's why I was late to detention, to begin with. My mom forgot her laptop. We're going to Nimbus, not too far away."

"The Rat King Nimbus has your mother?! The fell creature must have escaped. We should have waited until the dying beast drew its last breath."

"I should have purged the catacombs with fire," Zafosaul said.

"You can't do that," Bolt said. "All the other rats would have fled the sewers. Then we would have more than just giant beasties to consider."

"Yeah, but then Nimbus wouldn't be here bothering the folks of Beaver Town."

"Do you think Nimbus was the one who drew us into this realm?" Percy asked. "Maybe it wasn't the necromancer."

"It was the Sky Lord," Lovantus spat. "This has his name all over it. Perhaps he has struck a deal with Nimbus."

Toby leaned over to Lady Ameria, "Um... should I tell them Nimbus is the name of a street? I'm not good with this stuff. Do you let them know it's a trip or go along with it?"

"Nimbus has a street named after him?!" Lovantus roared. "What sort of backward kingdom is this Beaver Town?! I suppose you are going to tell me that a beaver is the king of this land!"

"I'm pretty sure there are no beavers in City Hall. Though I have never really been there. Maybe there's a statue."

"Take us to this Beaver King! We will beseech him for aid in our quest!"

"City Hall is over on Millikan. Kinda the opposite direction of where we are going."

"You mean Millikan, the hero of legend?" Zafosaul exclaimed. "He was a sorcerer's apprentice, rumored to have turned himself into a mouse! The only one, save ourselves, to defeat Nimbus."

"We must seek his aid if we are to save your mother," Bolt said.

"My lords and ladies. If you beseech me, thouist might want to...um...er...come to my house," Toby began, "and sleep it off. Because I think you mightest haveth too much of Aiden's special stuff."

"He does speak truth," Percy said. "Perhaps we should rest so that our powers might return. Nimbus was a tough battle at full strength. Now, he will have the advantage not only in powers, but also having had the years since our last encounter to prepare for this day."

"Percy," Lovantus grabbed his thigh when it usually would have been a shoulder, "my years as leader of this fellowship have taught me to seek out the wisdom of my allies. Truly as a Paladin of the Burning Sun, you know all too well the dangers of overextending your reach."

The man in a three-year-old's body knelt in front of Toby and added, "I swear by my axe and the swords of my countrymen that we shall return your mother. Worry not, young squire, for the Silent Legion rides again!"

"Cool, cool, cool," Toby said. "So, should we take my car or yours? Wait, who am I kidding? None of you are sober enough to drive. We'll take mine. You'll have to squish, but I think we can all fit if you sit on each other's laps."

Toby pulled out a strange key ring with a black stone on the end. He clicked it, and one of the metal beasts yelped. The kid walked over to it and opened what seemed to be a door built into the side. It was not a beast, but a war machine that would leave dwarf mastersmiths' jaws agape with the quality of craftsmanship.

Lovantus would have to get one of these Hyundai Accents.

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