11 - All's Well That Ends with a Dagger
The King’s Forest, Morning After the Festival
Petra walked next to Annelise, who led the group along a forest trail. Everyone was exhausted because they had walked well into the night and some of the next day. Other than a time when Annelise disappeared into the woods to use the bathroom, they kept moving. The only person with the exuberant energy only a three-year-old could muster was Jonathan. He ran ahead, stopping to pick flowers, sticks, and all sorts of wildlife to show to Petra. She would smile and say in a voice with enthusiasm only a mommy could conjure for something so mundane, "Yeah, it's a stick!"
The hulking warrior smiled, then hopped on two feet down the trail as if he were a human pogo stick. She was glad that it had been early in the morning her time when this adventure began. She didn't want to deal with a tired barbarian. Or perhaps the kid had the energy reserves of his warrior’s body. Petra thought all the walking on bare feet would make her sore, but she didn’t feel a thing. Petra turned back to Annelise and said, "I don't get it. If these heroes were the beloved saviors of the land and defeated the necromancer, why would the people be so quick to turn on them?"
"You have to remember that the war was fifteen years ago. Most people are lucky if they live to see fifteen winters," Annelise said. "At best, the young people don't know much about the war or the alliance of the races, and at worst, some believe in conspiracies that it was faked."
"And what do you believe?"
"As a b-sister of the moon," Annelise said, "I believe in truth above all else. And the reality is that the bickering among the races has always happened and will always happen until some other great evil walks the land to unite them again."
"That's a pretty dismal view."
"This world is a dismal place. It's easy for a destitute person to blame his plight on the greed of the dwarves, or on elves for lording their magic and knowledge, or even on halflings like you who are happy to work harder than a human for a fraction of the wages because their lands were decimated by the necromancer."
"I'm not a halfling."
"You look like one to the rest of the world."
Annelise froze and held her hand up. The group stopped.
"What?" Petra said, and unconsciously clutched the hilt of one of her daggers.
Before Annelise could finish the word "Brigands," a scruffy, ragtag group of men and women stepped out onto the path. They held clubs, swords, and all sorts of gnarly weapons. A woman with a mace slung over her shoulder like she was going to batting practice walked up to them. She wore leather and fur as if she were an extra in a Conan the Barbarian movie.
"Seems like you are walking this path during perilous times. Five gold pieces would go a long way in giving you protection from all the beasties that roam these parts," she said.
Petra scoffed and said, "We don't need protection. Now move aside."
"I don't think you understand me, lady halfling," she said. "We can't be held responsible for what happens to people who don't pay."
The brigands readied their weapons for a fight.
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Tim spoke next, "What she was trying to say was that this is Lord Lovantus and, you know, the Silent Legion. I think we can handle anything that will come our way."
"Oh, a celebrity." The woman grinned. "That means the fee just went up to fifty gold pieces."
Petra kicked Tim and said, "Look, it's been a long day, and we don't really want to kill you or anyone. Even if you could do what the Sky Lord couldn't, we'd still kill a bunch of you in the process. Then you'd have to lower your rates because there won't be enough of you to be very intimidating. Not to mention the Traldalorian army will come sniffing around. It sounds like it will be easier if I hand over some of these sweet daggers. I got plenty of them to go around. I mean, who really needs this much weaponry concealed on one person?"
The thug licked her lips and said, "Okay, we'll take your daggers and his battle axe."
"Deal," Petra said, anxious to get rid of the lethal weapon her son swung around like it was a pool noodle. "Hey, baby, could you give the nice lady your battle axe?"
Petra reached for the weapon, and Jonathan yelled, "No! You do it!"
He pulled the weapon off his back, and the thug shrugged and reached out for the axe.
"No, wait!" Petra yelled. "He gets his pronouns confused."
As soon as the woman touched her son's beloved axe, he shrieked in rage, "No! You do it."
He yanked the weapon back and bonked with the blade's flat on another brigand's head. The guy went out cold, and the man-kid squealed with delight. A melee broke out between the party and the gang. Jonathan laughed with glee as he twirled around with his battle axe while the thugs backed away, unable to take a swing at him.
Petra didn't think. She thrust her dagger into the throat of the woman with the mace and flung another one at a person charging her from behind. Her companions seemed to naturally ease into the fight. Tim nailed the robbers as fast as he could reload and knocked the ones that got too close with a spiked ball at the end of a chain. She later learned that it was called a morning star. Sissy gutted them with a gleaming Arthurian-looking sword. Jack clobbered them with his staff. Meanwhile, Aiden was furiously striking together two rocks to make a spark while singing Motorbreath .
It didn't surprise her that they were all badasses. If they were heroes, it would be like having the muscle memory and the body of Bruce Lee. A few thieves lurking in the woods would be nothing for their alter egos.
Annelise, on the other hand, was into some dark shit. The petite blond went to the closest dead body she could find while singing a song about fog or something. The girl covered a knife in blood and sang a few words. Her dagger turned green. She turned to the guy approaching with a lustful grin on his face. She shot a putrid green bolt from her weapon, and the man doubled over in pain. His face turned green, and he vomited and gagged. The guy was dead in moments. She sopped up some more blood from another corpse and prepared her attack again.
The battle turned quickly in their favor. Once most of the brigands were dead, the others dropped their weapons and fled. Jonathan jumped up and down with glee and said, "Again! Again! You do it again!"
Petra slumped to the ground, as did the others, and she said, "Not now, baby. Mommy is tired."
Jonathan shrugged and began to strip off all of his clothes, starting with is gauntlet.
His mom gave him a stern look when moving on to his vest and spoke. "Remember what we said about clothes outside of the house? You can run around naked at home. But otherwise, we have to wear clothes."
Luckily, he saw a bird in a tree and ran toward it. He looked up and tweeted at the creature like he was talking to it. Petra was thankful for the moment's rest. However, Annelise didn't seem like she would give anyone any sort of break at all.
"Come on," she said. "The only advantage we have now is that we move faster than the Traldalorian army can mobilize. Trust me when I say they are coming."
Tim said, "Shouldn't we loot the bodies? Basic Adventuring Skills 101. Always loot the bodies."
"If you want an archer to penetrate your skull while you root around for the pittance these ne'er-do-wells most likely spent on drink, then be my guest. All those who would like to live, follow me."
Annelise walked down the trail without looking back. The others pushed themselves up with groans and followed her. Petra gathered Jonathan with a few promises to see some more birdies, and they were once again fleeing for their lives.