Content warning:

-Sex with heavy power dynamic problems and a past of loneliness and abandonment making one character ignore said power dynamic problems.

-forced bathing and undressing to get there

-memories of torment and a bit of... well I guess it is TOTALLY heavy manipulation that could also be classified as gaslighting? I think? Classic abuser things to make people think that the torment they suffer is their fault and their responsibility to avoid.

-hair yanking in an abusive way at the end.

“NO!” I fight down tears as I glare up at Thendra. “I’ve just been sitting around all day. I’m not–”

She shows no anger at my outburst. Just… sighs. Like she’d expected it. “Why? Why does this scare you so much?”

I had mini panic attacks each time I looked at the tub. Second day was the worst… but it wasn’t until now, as she insisted I go take a bath on the evening of the third that I finally fight back.

“Really? You–” I spit back, but I still have to look away. “Because that’s… It’s hard to… I don’t want to.”

She leans down then, takes my chin between two fingers and forces me to look at her. I fight, but she is just so much stronger than me.

“Lyra. I will drag you into the tub and wash you myself if that’s what it takes. You’re not the first slave I’ve had to–”

First time she’s called me that. Not little Fae, not My Lyra… just… slave. It hurts more than I expect. It… another part of me breaks, feels like Thendra just dropped something dear to me to watch it shatter upon the cold tiled floor. I’m surprised there wasn’t an audible crack.

I reach up and try to pull at her fingers off with both my hands, she lets me. I hiss the next words. “Is that all I am? Owned Flesh? Meat waiting to be fattened up and–”

Then I get the anger I’m asking for. But… Just as a low growl. “Which words would you prefer I use?”

Why am I testing her patience? Do I want her to lash out and hit me? Or worse… command me to inflict more pain on myself? But… I’m just so tired and so angry. I’ve not slept well. Even when I try to get to bed before her or… try to move away she would just… always be there. Mixing me with fear of pain… and unfulfilled promises of… other things I couldn’t get myself to forget. I’d woken up snuggled up to her warmth twice now and was too terrified to squirm away.

“Dreamer take you!” I throw at her with venom, turning away from her stare. “I’m not going back there. So… just.. command me to hurt myself with a song or curse again. You enjoyed that, right?”

A very long pause passes between us. Then, like lightning, she has one of my wrists. I flinch, brace for pain and torment. But… She just follows through on her threat and drags me to the bath.

I kick and shout and try to fight, using anger to mask my panic and fear. But the only anger she shows is in her annoyance as she pulls my clothes free and yanks me into the warm water with her. I consider biting her as she locks a leg around me and turns me to face her. “Well? Do you really want me to do this?”

“Sure!” I just glare. “It’ll be worse here when I pass out and start to drown.”

She stares back, face empty. All calm focus and–

Then she sweeps my leg out and dunks me beneath the warm water. She doesn’t hold me, just sort of… dips me.

I come up sputtering and flustered and even more annoyed.

“I expect you to bathe regularly.” She purrs calmly. “And I’ll not have you afraid of water, Lyra.”

I look away then, glare at the spot where she’d tortured me. “It’s not the water. It’s this spot. This is where you–”

“Would you rather I did that in the bed? Or downstairs in front of the Reavers? Or–”

“Nowhere! I’d rather not be tortured at all!” I hiss.

She sighs, leans back without releasing my wrist. “Ask me.”

I grind my teeth, squeeze my eyes shut, and consider refusing her. Of… of forcing her to just…

“May I Sing?”

She speaks the commands for me bare my soul in song.

I do. Hissing and spitting a vile thing. I know the basic shape of a few extra Fae words now, and can’t help but shove them into the melody. I growl all my rage and hurt at her, for my hatred for this room, and am even rewarded with a few flinches from her, but she doesn’t command me to stop.

For a moment fear does reach me, and It inflicts itself upon the song, twisting the notes into the sound of a scared animal. What if… what if she’s going to–

I whirl to her, and we lock eyes.

“Would you like to stop?”

I nod, fight to keep the anger on my face.

“Then Stop.” She answers.

In a gasp I end the bitter melody. End up needing to spit a glob of blood and bile. But… Dreamer’s Tits I needed that. Feel so much better after letting my emotions out. I hadn’t asked her to sing but a couple times since the last time I was here, and those were all simple little things. Carefully crafted to hide my fears and desires.

It takes me a few seconds, but I recover and meet her stare again.

Still no anger.

“Lyra.” She replies, “I will never hurt you if you simply obey me.”

I snort, my disbelief plain. “How am I supposed to trust that? Trust you? You’re–”

She pulls my wrist, yanking me close. Then she takes my jaw and neck in one giant fist.

It doesn’t hurt, but it does shut me up. Sudden worry that she might just… decide to try out physical torture if I won’t just… break.

“Disobey me in flesh, and I’ll punish you in kind.” She purrs. “Disobey me with your Fae songs, and I will make sure you feel their sting.”

That… well it doesn’t drain my anger, but… the logic helps drain some of the fear. Helps the panic at her using the commands to hurt me settle.

“I can’t afford mistakes.” She explains as she sees her words reach me, “And your magic is not something to trifle with.”

“But…” Fear gives way to… to pain and sorrow. I feel my lips tremble at the memory, “You… you could have just–”

“You reached for it three times without my command. And in front of outsiders!” She shakes her head, anger finally showing in a growl, “I could not let you escape punishment. And you will bear that memory as a reminder.”

She drops me, allows me to slump into the water.

I sink, blow bubbles as I try to hold onto the anger. It… doesn’t work well. Bubbles aren't a good catalyst for spiteful rage. Long moments pass, and the water begins to cool. Grows uncomfortable.

I huff, annoyed, and begin to move to leave.

“Wait.” I hear her purr.

I nearly jerk as I stop part way out of the water, then turn to her.

Jade eyes roll up and down my naked flesh, and I can’t help but shudder. She’s… even more striking when wet. And she didn’t even take off most of her clothes before dragging me into the water.

“Your Amwella is healed.”

“What?”

Then, with very little effort she hooks me with a leg and pulls me back. Before I can realize what she’s doing, has me with both hands and pulls me into her.

I’m completely engulfed, back clamped to her chest by huge arms.

“What are you–”

Her huge hands wander, one trails up to my neck and jaw, while the opposite moves down beneath the water and–

“Wa… Wait!” I yelp.

She does.

I wasn’t actually expecting her to stop. I wait for her to growl, and tell me that I don’t have a choice here. That I’m just a pillow slave to be used as she wishes.

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

But after a few tense seconds, she releases me. Slowly, carefully, and gently making sure I have my own footing.

I just… stand there. Back to her as I stare down at the water. Caught between fear and hatred and desire.

“Why?” I whisper. “Why do you care if I want you to stop?”

“Sex allows us to slice Amwella away cleanly.” She replies, “Take off entire chunks without doing harm.”

There should have been an audible click as that slots things into place. “Oh.”

That’s how she… and her Reavers, have got such big Amwella cores. They… they’re not just flesh eaters, they’re Amwella drinkers.

I shudder at the realization. Sex is… Sex is how they get their best meals. Voe’s words… her threats to take the final bites of my little flame, and Thendra’s promise to share my Amwella with–

I gulp. I really am just… food. A piece of meat to be fattened and carved up. Flesh to be cooked and consumed. It’s been out there in the open this entire time. I was just too… overwhelmed and distracted to see it.

“Dreamer’s Tits.” I curse aloud.

That gets a purring laugh from Thendra.

I glance over my shoulder to her. She’s leaning back, all relaxed strength and easy confidence as her jade eyes move from staring at… some other parts of me… to meeting my eyes.

“So why not just take it?” I carefully slide away from her, like a mouse under the gaze of a big jungle cat. “Just now. Why stop?”

Annoyance laces her words as she shrugs, seems to notice my fear, glances up and away. “It wouldn’t be clean. You have to enjoy it for it to work well. Otherwise… You’d be damaged. I’ll not risk that.”

I huff. “So… you're not actually attracted to me. To my–”

She turns back, glimmering jade eyes bore into mine, the room seems to grow a touch warmer. “Hunger and desire are one.”

That… well… makes things complicated again. I curl in on myself, shudder in the growing cold.

“Will… how many times…” I huff, collect my thoughts. “You said my Amwella had healed, before. But… Now you want to carve off a piece?”

She laughs, and… Dreamers Tits it’s all confidence and warmth. Sends a flutter of heat into me that cuts at the last dregs of fear and annoyance. “It wouldn't be a large piece. Not at first. You’d fully recover before waking up tomorrow.”

I suck in a deep breath. Stop teasing at this. Just… fucking… take some Dreamer fucked pleasure. Do you really want to die without knowing what it's like?

I take a hesitant step toward her through the cold waters. She doesn’t move, but I can see her attention focus on the motion. Curious hunger tints her, as if she can see my mind turning and considering her.

Do I want my first embrace to be like this? With her? With this… monster?

“Will…” I hesitate, just a few feet away.

Better this, than some other... Something that would just… take what they want without caring how much it hurt you.

“Lyra?” She purrs.

I huff, turn, and settle back against her. Shift and press into her warmth to escape the cold waters. “Will it hurt?”

She slowly wraps her arms around me, leans down so that her mouth is next to my ear. “You’ll be too distracted to notice anything.”

That… Dreamer’s Cunt. That sends a warm wash of heat down me. Starting at my ear, shivering along my spine, and settles in between my legs.

“Can we at least get out of the cold?” I whisper.

A hand wanders back to my neck and slides up into my hair, while the other moves to gently gasp one of my breasts.

“Soon.” she murmurs.

I shudder, and lean back into her. Wanting… more of that thrumming warmth. She pulls me closer, presses lips and teeth into my neck before pulling my head back to expose more skin. Begins to rake fingers across and around my chest, hungrily exploring and clawing.

And then there is a sound… a–

Oh. That was me?

She takes a nipple between two fingers, pinches. I make the little whimpering sound again, and then her teeth are at my shoulder, a purr of satisfaction and anticipation and–

“You should sing for us.”

Without hesitation, even with the fluttering madness that clogs my mind, I gather up my Amwella and prepare to–

It wasn’t a command. So the curse grazes against me, causing me to jerk and suddenly thrash about in panic and fear. I choke out a gasp as I drop the Amwella back into my core.

She doesn’t release me, barely even seems bothered by my sudden pain.

“Don’t do that!” I hiss.

“Hmm?” She murmurs into my skin.

“Either command me to sing or not!” I curl up, try to… to warm myself around her grasping hands. “Don’t… suggest I maybe, or might, or should! Just tell me to!”

She moves her teeth back up my neck, moves her other arm to wrap bodily around me. And it’s very hard to stay focused on my anger as one hand slides down to cup my underside. Grazes past soft things between legs and–

“Your body moves to my words, even over your own thoughts.” She purrs, “That’s good.”

“Don’t be cruel about it!” I spit through clenched teeth, trying to focus as her fingers dance and grasp. How they keep… almost touching much more sensitive areas.

I feel her tongue then, as it curls and dances along the softest parts of my throat. “I’m breaking you, little Fae.”

That should send a cold jolt down my spine, be filling me with terror. But my thoughts are melting down at her warm touch, hypnotizing me into not caring. Into liking the idea. Just so long as she doesn’t fucking stop.

Her fingers are so close. Grazed right over something amazing.

“I–” My pleading whimper starts, but then she’s there, a large hand cupping me between my slowly spreading legs. Almost holding me afloat.

Movement… and I’m lost. All my thoughts drop to focus on the slow seductive pattern she begins to carve into me. She’s not gentle, oh no. Her fingers push and claw and shove my second lips around like so much grass in a storm for what seems like forever. I end up squirming against her and whimpering a few more times.

“Thendra…” I whisper, “Please… just–”

Then she’s inside me, and I whimper at the jolt of pain and pleasure. She presses harder, shoves deeper, and grinds at the soft Fae flesh I wove for myself.

On reflection, I perhaps should have listened to my Fae-mothers advise when crafting this body. Dampen the sex and sensitivity spots, at least for the first few years. She’d said. Let myself enjoy being Fae without flooding myself with unneeded impulses.

Save that for a little later. She'd told me.

But… I didn’t listen. And in those final days I began dreaming of meeting some amazing love on my future trips to the Midday Court. Of love and romance and… well…. I ended up not only ignoring her advice, but spending extra time making sure all the nameless parts not only worked, but excelled.

So that leaves me here, trapped in Thendra’s clutches. Unable to think past the rising heat and twitching spasms my body inflicts me with. Wriggling and thrashing into her instead of away. Almost… begging her to do… something more! Hands twist back to grip her while my back arches, trying to push myself up into her mouth, but also down into her touch.

I don’t remember… wanting to do it. Wanting to see her soul. Just… suddenly I was aware of Thendra’s Amwella enveloped around me. Watching as its radiant tendrils curl and thrash in time with my own little flame. Feel as it begins to squeeze and pull at mine, testing to find…

The warmth between my legs bubbles over, her Amwella wraps around mine tighter as sharp glowing fangs slide from its core. Thendra moves a leg to keep mine apart as I fight to squeeze them together. She digs her hand deeper into me to enhance the jilting of raw sensation that drowns my thoughts.

It's the second best feeling of my entire existence. Even with the view of my Amwella getting a chunk sliced free and swallowed hole. The pain there is… nothing. Absolutely nothing like my curse’s sting. Almost of gentle tease of a caress in comparison.

All my muscles slump at once, and I fall back into Thendra’s warm embrace. Bask in a glow that spreads through me and brings a grin to my lips. Dreamer’s Clit and Cunt that was… How did that feel so good?

She simply holds me, pulls fingers free and wraps me in those huge warm arms while lips nibble at my shoulder. Only a few minutes, that’s all I need for my energy and warmth to rekindle. Then I’m wiggling from her grasp, turning to straddle her, and pressing my lips to hers.

She doesn’t know what to make of my sudden motion at first, but once she understands she’s accepting me without hesitation. Meeting my hungry clueless lips with her own deft and hungry motions. The kiss is long and so wonderful. I can’t help but stifle a moan as I press myself into her rough mouth. My tiny hands gently feel her face and neck while my bare chest and hips rub and slide against her.

Then I bite at her lower lip and–

Hands wrap around and under me to support my weight. Then we’re rising, and Thendra is carrying me to her bed.

I forgot how fast she could be. As I think to pull away from the kiss she is already tilting me down and pressing me into the quilts.

I want to touch her, explore her, taste her skin against my lips. But… she’s already at my neck again. Both her hands free to begin their domination of… this. Of me. I end up settling for twisting my own hands through her hair, and squeezing at her shoulders and upper arms.

She is so… solid. Where I am small and soft she is all massive twisting strength.

Her mouth is at my breasts before I can think people thoughts anymore, and I can’t help but wriggle and twist and whimper a little as she gnaws at them. Long tongue flicking and lashing at my nipples before teeth clamp and pull.

Then she is shoving my legs apart, moving down my belly, and that tongue is about to–

“Sing.” She growls.

I… well it doesn’t really matter if I want to. At her command my mouth opens and a giggling song of sex and lust and whimpering cries is dancing off my lips.

Tongue and teeth play at the sensitive flesh between legs. Dreamer’s Tits this is… is… is the best thing I could ever–

Lick, nibble, flick… then she’s pushing herself into me. Goes deep, lashes about, Bites down hard enough to draw blood as the warmth of another climax hits me with the force of a summer storm.

Once again I watch as her Amwella’s core curls around me and slices off a chunk of my flame. Bigger this time. But the little pain only makes me shudder more at the wonderful orgasms' Thendra just gave me.

I… I wonder how that feels? I muse as Thendra takes time to savor the taste of me. Pulls out.

“Stop.”

I’d forgotten about the song, and don’t even feel the near sting as my body reflexively ends it. Leaving only a sort of… echo amidst the afterglow I’m drifting in.

As I sag into the quilts, Thendra crawls up my body to hang above me. For a few heartbeats she just… stares down at me. A strange intensity in her eyes.

She… her expression is… I’m not sure? It looks… well I thought I saw something of her satisfaction but is that… pain? I–

Then she is at my lips again, tongue parting mine and filling me with her warm spiced breath and–

Oh… I’m tasting myself.

I’m surprised to find it only brings up warmth and memories of how amazing Thendra just made me feel. So I embrace it and kiss her back, let my fingers wander up to her face and neck. Trail down to her chest as our mouths weave delightful patterns.

But eventually she’s untangling our tongues, pulling away right as energy and warmth begins to return and sweep between my legs.

“That’s enough.” She murmurs.

I try to muster a pout amidst my stupid grin as she hovers out of my reach.

“Tired already?” I giggle, and Dreamer’s Tits does it feel good. I haven't laughed like that since… well… “I could do this all night.” I clasp fingers up at her. “I want to do this all night!”

She turns and carefully orients herself so that her head will land on the pillows as she drops herself bodily onto the bed.

I let out a huff. Then roll over and crawl after her. Wriggle up over and atop her so that I’m straddling her hips.

“What if–.” I coo down at her, begin to run hands and fingers along her chest. “What if you just… Let me try to...”

Jade eyes snap to me as I push up her still damp tunic.

Little fantasies about tasting her, feeling her shudder with the same pleasure she just gave me. My lips slide across her belly and hips, and I wriggle myself down to settle between her legs while my mouth traces a pattern across–

Then her hand is in my hair, stopping and pulling me a few inches up and away.

“You’ll not feed on me.” a low growl rumbles through her.

I can’t stop a yelp of pain as I reach up to grip her wrists, trying to relieve some of the pressure. “Wha– What!?!?”

“You think me foolish? Little Fae?” She purrs, all threat and annoyance. “Think I would let you feast on my soul?”

“I didn’t!” I sputter, “I wasn’t even– I don’t even know how to do that!”

She snorts, it’s the ugliest sound I’ve ever heard her make. All disgust and disdain that begins to rot the afterglow of her attentions.

“You’re my first!” I hiss, “I– I never…”

She glares at me as I struggle. “I’ll not let a slave take from me.”

It’s my turn to glare. It’s a small thing compared to hers, especially hanging like this. “May I sing?”

A beat, and I swear I can see her confidence waver.

“May I?” I hiss again.

She pulls me to the side and releases me. Almost tosses me away.

I topple, but keep my fury and glare back at her.

She’s looking past me. Considering…

“I don’t want your Amwella.” I finally whisper. “I just… Just wanted to…”

An enormous sigh leaves her, and with it… all the anger. “I forget… you were once human. And never thrived into a mature Fae.”

I can’t help the bile that rises up at that. But she speaks before I can boil it into a reply.

“Sing your intentions to me.” She murmurs.

I do… and flinch as I’m forced to twist my rage and pain back into desire and lust. I hum a dancing tune of physical satisfaction, one that is innocent to any Amwella hunger. It seeks only pleasure and the return of it.

Just before it can shift into rage and pain, as those first notes begin to stir within its melody, Thendra stops me.

I gasp at the near pain and sudden choking rise of my anger after such a tantalizing song. Turn from her and grit my teeth to try and drive the joy of it away.

The bed shifts, and before I can jerk to face her she has wrapped me in her arms and is pulling me up into her. I struggle, empty little things of fading spite.

“It is a part of your nature. To consume another’s Amwella.” She purrs, and I can’t stop the warmth that ripples down me at her tone. “I cannot let you do it. ”

“Next time just fucking tell me.” I grumble.

“Hmm…” She drags me down into the quilts, hands begin to wander. Cause little flickers of warmth to overwhelm my annoyance.

I huff, and allow her to ravage me three more times that night.