CW:

Um... mebe clean chappy? Recounting events and snuggling lovers and panicking over what ifs and not wanting to let a big cunt's shard be taken away!

Waking up the familiar smells and snuggles of my Beloveds, alongside the feeling of our Jellyfish yipping for us all to basically ‘get up get up get get up getupgetpgeupGETUP!!!’ is… almost perfect.

Body and Sea-bed of a soul aren’t like… sore or anything. In fact they’re both fully healed.

But my thoughts and little songs inside are messy.

Filled to bursting with horrid Fae melodies, purred truths, and… black glass that seems to be able to cut its way to anywhere within the Dream to find me.

We just kinda stumbled into bed after gathering up everyone we loved without into our wonderful manor. Getrik, all the souls helping us, and um… even Melivias and Uldra.

Didn’t want to lose anyone important. No one gets left behind to be snatched up by prowling bloodied Fae or… um… worse.

“Morning love.” Whispers our wonderful Fae without even needing to twist about to catch my gaze.

Like always, my wiggly Amwella tells her the second I wake up.

“Murmrnings...” I mumble back and snuggle closer into her chest. “Wrrr… R– Rrr– Raska?”

Finding her soul not within the snuggle pile.

She chuckles at that. “Stepped out to check on her girls and maybe even talk a cutie into making us some food.”

“Oke.” Is my muffled reply.

Would nuzzle back into sleep but… My pretty Keshada is waking up and curious about the day and this place. Fuzzy Fae rested a bit but seems more relaxed ever since it nuzzled back into the mebe parts with Furthonois and the littlest children.

And… our biggest Jellyfish are wiggling all about and starting to nip at my Naranggas with those sharp new teeth. Nothing like… really hurtful but I need to make sure to teach them to never bite their mothers. Or… at least only bite me.

Our brilliant Watcher begins to wiggle a bit. Arms and head noodles locked tight about me still. And... from the way her soul kinda twitches in anxiety before waking up, she’s not gonna let me go for a long while.

“Good morning my Beloveds.” Tretion murmurs softly into my hair. “Is… How long have we been abed?”

“Bout… sixteen hours.” Awnya replies softly.

“Feels… barely a third of that.” Is our Watcher’s still snoozie reply. “Is our Everflame alright?”

“Mhm. Yup. Will be back soon. And maybe with some food.”

“Good. Good.” She hums softly, takes in a few deep and anxious breaths. “Well, while my Fae may always smell of a well-tended grove, Watchers suffer the burdens of eck and this one is going to drag you both into a good washing with her.”

And she does. It’s… slow and careful. Finding and scrubbing away the sand and blood and… and all sorts of other nonsense out of places you never want that kinda stuff to be in. A few times one of their souls kinda sputters out and gets a little weepy and drippy. Eyes soon to follow as they need a really good hug from us and our Jellyfish.

Especially Awnya. Amwella is like… a freshly healing bruise. Sensitive and still throbbing pain that seems familiar. So together we weave a small and gentle little song with our Jellyfish. Nothing too loud or magical. Just a soft melody in the middle of everything to help her feel loved and important.

By the time we’re finished Raska is back and sitting on the floor with a tray of really neat options. Lots of colorful smells and vibrant textured food.

“I take it our manor is getting along well without its Matron to fuss over everyone?” Our Watcher greets while sitting right next to Raska and pulling me to nuzzle basically in her lap with our Fae close beside.

“Yeah.” Raska sighs, “Course. You both did good work setting this place to burn without either of you poking at the cinders.”

Really wish we’d have been able to tug her into our wash. Help Raska relax and clean off all the messy things from yesterday.

“And your girls?” Awnya asks.

“Good. Bit worried, of course.” Raska shrugs while nibbling at her little soft fruit bread thing. “They get more info than most, kinda… are aware of the mess we’ve been making outside. What with Wren helping out the intakes.”

I reach out to take up some tasty things and pass them to my Beloveds. Chew away at my own food while also biting at the mess inside and try to like… keep the rising fear from bubbling over at the questions they all have. And the answers I promised.

“Any pressing needs?” Our Watcher replies.

“Nope. Just… lots of people wanting to make sure you three are okay.” Raska answers. “Which… I told everyone that you are, but to let you all rest and not expect much for a good spit.”

Awnya sighs as her Amwella releases a bit of worry at our Everflame’s words. “Thanks. Means the Dream to us that you took care of that.”

Raska smirks at her, “Would be a pretty sorry duenna if I didn’t, and instead just snuggled up to those I’m supposed to protect all day.”

Our Fae chuckles, and through a bite replies, “Wouldn’t have bothered us a bit to wake up with you close and help you handle that all later.”

Both their souls wiggle in all kinds of interesting ways at that, but otherwise we fall into eating with only a few soft words spoken. Mostly about little things or the food itself.

But… I have promises to keep.

“Oke…” I murmur as everyone seems to be finished. “Um… Oke. Ffff– fr– first. S– sorry.”

Tretion curls about me even tighter. Amwella wibbling like it always does when I apologize for… for my messy everything. “I don’t think it is needed, but you are forgiven regardless.”

I let out a huff of a sigh, and… try to explain.

How I messed up. Got distracted. Saw something weird on the horizon and started Riftwalking into the desert. Found the Dead Dreamer’s Wood in the distance but… couldn’t Riftwalk back. Then… how the spirits attacked. How I needed my Fuzzy Fae, our Jellyfish, and even my Dreadsong to kill them.

“Were their memories rough to handle?” Awnya asks softly.

Sway back and forth before shrugging. “D– didn’t like th– them. B– but… n– not worst.”

“That’s good." She sighs. "But… You said you found the Dead Dreamer’s Wood past the storm?”

Shake my head. “N– no storm. J– just woods.”

“That’s… huh.” Awnya huffs and shakes her head.

Soul seeming to chew on those words like an angry frog at a finger devoid of easily nibbled food.

Raska chuckles. “So when I was burning away the sand to keep us free of it you were just seeing… what? Some big forest on fire?”

“Um… Yes?” I reply.

“This… actually makes sense.” Our brilliant Watcher explains as the rest of us wriggle in confusion. “Lyra has been connected to the Ocean’s past the Rifts since she arrived within the Dream. And this could simply be her seeing the encroaching Blight from a different perspective. Possibly a more true one. Something that is normally only possible when observing the Dead Dreamer’s domain from a Fae Wood.”

“Hmmm… could also be her bearing a Hearthflame connected to Theradas.” Raska nods.

“Okay, yeah. I can hear that.” Awnya finally murmurs, pulling herself from some deeper thoughts. “And… then what?”

“F– forest. Everywhere. All around.” I whisper. “B– but could still see Theradas. And um… One more Spirit. Th– this o– one… um… N– not at– atta– attacking. M– made pr– prom– promises. H– helped l– lla– later. Even.”

Pretty Keshada settles the littlest Jellyfish to rest well in the snuggles of the Fuzzy Fae and wiggles to sit up straighter within the mebe parts.

Everyone perks up at that. Amwella all a rush with interest and hope.

“Dreamer’s Tits! Really?” Awnya smirks.

“Have they given a name?” Tretion asks.

“Um… Ye– yeah.” I mumble and fibble my fingers, then take a deep breath and try to force out the name. “F– fur– furrrr… th– tho…”

Course my stupid tongue gives me trouble over this. And… and of course I get to watch their hope and excitement twist and sputter into more cautious dread.

“Furthonois?” Awnya whispers, face and even soul losing some color at the name. “I… Lyra is… you said they helped you?”

“Yes.” I whisper immediatly. “Sh– she d– did. A– alot. H– has been n– nice. H– helped me get fr– free.”

That makes our Fae pause and I glance up to see her staring at Tretion.

“And… Why is she the first to offer this so quickly?” Our Watcher states carefully.

Tell them how she was being attacked by the other two. And… and what I felt when I touched her thoughts and spirit.

How she really isn’t good at spirit fighting. Her venom and any physical strength useless against the two that were attacking. Then the offer of all her information for just… safety. Anything and everything she is and was offered for it.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Alright… You said she helped you?” Awnya asks.

I whisper, “Yes.” Then take a second to spark up my Amwella and…

A single Naranggas sparks with lightning between us. Crackling and giggling its happy little fury that burns at the air and anything else it might touch. Such a vibrant and pretty shade of violet too. Kinda… matches my eyes and Amwella in hue.

“T– This.” I answer and look between them.

They all freeze at that. At first filled with worry that soon wiggles into such… surprise and awe.

“She… She taught you a Wretched Incantation?” Tretion very nearly stammers.

“Y– yes. B– but was… Um…” Feel at my pretty Keshada in worry that… that I’ll upset her.

[You can call it what it was, Lyra.] She giggles. [I won’t take offense. It wasn’t my spell. Just… something I inherited and passed on to you.]

“Messy.” I huff and can’t help but smile as I feel her soft amusement at my perspectives. “H– had t– tooo ch– change it. M– make n– not h– hurt me. U– used t– to es– esss– cape th– the Fae.”

“And no words needed.” Tretion whispers as her Amwella starts to bubble with inspiration. “Or songs. This… I… Can you share the methods to it? The calculations and… other such aspects?”

Think on that for a second, look to the pretty Keshada within my soul.

[Certainly, both what I gifted, and how you adjusted it.] She agrees easily.

Nod and twist in Tretion's cool embrace to smile back at her. “Y– yes. Easy. J– just N– need paper. F– fur– ffrrr.” Take a breath, find a word that rolls off the tongue. “M- my Ke– sha– da will help.”

“I… Thank you. To both of you.” Our Watcher then reaches out and cups my cheek while tendrils curl about me protectively. Voice gentle but… firm. “And I’ll offer this spirit what I offered the first we swayed to peace. If you’d like I can consider you a guest in my manor. With all the rights and privileges and expectations alongside it. As I would any other we’ve helped.”

[Tell her I accept, and if… if after you finish sharing the events of yesterday my actions are found… lacking. I’ll gladly adjust. And relay my thanks, if you will.]

“Um… Y– yes. W– wa– wants to h– help b– better if y– you th– th– think could. A– and th– thanks.” I whisper.

Tretion nods and gives me a big hug, and I twist about to look at the other two.

Raska boils with worry, and Awnya seems to be frozen still looking to my still giggling lightning coated Naranggas.

End the spell and reach out to touch her fingers. “B– b– be– l– loved?”

“Sorry.” She shakes herself and stammers. “I eh… have only ever seen really nasty sorts with that. Most are… really loud with bad melodies that put my feathers to twitch.”

“S– sorry.” I whisper and move to sit more between my beloveds. Wrapping arms about Awnya in worry and love.

“Don’t be, Yours was… honestly? Perfect. Could even pick up some of the tune for it. A bit scary but… not painful. Like how lightning or fire are. Not even touched by Blight.” She chuckles and returns my embrace. “It's really impressive.”

“Yeah… question, though.” Our Everflame murmurs.

Bite my lip as I feel a bit of the things she and her five are noticing. “Um…”

“So… I can’t tell for sure so I’m just gonna ask.” She starts carefully. “Where is she? This new spirit?”

That makes everyone pause. And new worries begin to bubble.

[Perhaps… continue with the retelling?] Furthonois suggests.

“Oke.” I huff. “A– answer w– w– with s– st– story.”

They let me and… I try. Forcing out the words as best I can.

Tell them about how Dreadweave attacked after I killed Ukalon twice. Pulling our Jellyfish, my Fuzzy Fae and even Furthonois into the mebe parts so they wouldn’t get hurt. Waking up and some of Opherity’s words. What they... They wanted to do to me.

I fall apart at that. Can’t stop the tears and little growling sounds of pain and fear. Even… even sitting here soft and safe in the arms and tendrils of those that bubble with love for me.

Within these safe places able to really understand what that would have meant for me.

Everything turned inside out and rewoven and… and worse than before my Fae change! Stuck forever and burning to keep a stupid Fae Wood warm and perfect. Fixing me by making me useful kindling.

Have to stop for a while after that. Chew on some food before the next words come out.

Tell them how our Jellyfish, our children, saved me. Gobbled up all the stupid Fae they could before I was free enough to kill the rest. Then finding Melivias and Uldra and… and pulling such small Jellyfish back into the mebe parts of my soul.

That gets Tretion and Awnya all wibbly and worried but… also kinda wonderfully excited about something. I'm... Not really sure what? But they don’t interrupt and nudge me to keep going when I pause and give them questioning looks.

Finding the Heart, how I helped it, is easy to explain. Because it’s just like the wonderful manor we’ve lived in. So that just leaves them finding me and.. And the… a talk with my Dark Goddess.

Don’t even know where to start. Sit quiet and stupid and terrified for a long while before my brilliant Watcher offers a little question to help me find my words.

“Can you tell us what lets you and her talk without speaking aloud?” Tretion asks so gently. Soul a mess of worry but… calm. Focused. Like she does when working out manor math problems. Or magic things.

We’ve adjusted a little. I’m… kinda still in her lap still but facing her. Awnya to her side and my right while Raska sits to my left.

“Sh– sh– shard. I– in Am– ammmm– w– wella.” I whisper, staring down at my useless black-tipped talons.

“Alright.” Our Fae murmurs. “I’m… guessing, and I could be wrong, that you can’t hear her?”

Shake my head. “N– no. J– just… me. Sh– she he–hears th– thoughts. F– fe– ffff– feel– in– ings.”

They actually relax a lot at that.

“Dreamer’s Tits. Better than I worried it was.” Awnya huffs. “Do you feel anything from it? Like… at all? Mostly just wanting to make sure this isn’t some twisted thing like Ukalon sprouts in people.”

Shake my head again. “N– no. N– never expl– epla– explained. Just… knew. T– talked. C– c– came if n– nn– needed.”

“Is it in the hidden parts of your soul? The maybe parts?” Our Watcher asks.

Shake my head. “D– deep. B– but no.”

Tretion’s attention drifts over and past me, eyes probably filling with a question I feel and... Raska understands.

All her Amwella's focus locked on my Sea-bed of a soul.

“I’ve been looking since I got a whiff of what was happening.” Our Everflame replies after a few seconds. “Don’t see anything though.”

Bite my lip as I feel my Brilliant Watcher start to… to chew on a problem. A question. A goal.

One that feels like my everything tears apart to think about.

“Could be like the storm. She sees one thing while everyone else sees another.” Awnya muses. “Must be pretty tough too. What with all the Blight she weaves. Sturdy. Like a lobster.”

They want to pull my shard out.

No one replies to that, and… eventually a soft and cool hand gently reaches out to cup my cheek. “Beloved?”

Teeth sink into my lip hard that warm blood dribbles as… as I very nearly feel her next words before they are spoken. Wribble tendrils all about her a little tighter when the question is asked.

“May… Will you agree to let us do this?” My endlessly patient and horribly worried Watcher whispers. “Find a way to remove it safely?”

Tremble and shiver and try so hard not to drop into messy tears as I reply. “N– no.”

The silence that follows is the heaviest and worst in all the Dream. Filled only with the slowly rising things I feel within these precious souls I hold close.

Furthonois sighs her disagreement but… doesn’t press.

Fuzzy Fae is still sleepy but trembles in worry with me.

Tretion and Awnya are… not calm. Not happy with my answer. But… also not surprised? Feels more like two who are looking over a messy Grove after an unexpected storm.

But Raska…

Her soul blazes horribly at that. Bubbling with anxiety and fear and… and anger. So much I find the Naranggas about her roaring soul stiff with worry. Unwilling to let go but… starting to tremble with me.

“We… Well, let’s be honest, all of us think you should.” Awnya replies softly after a few long breaths. “Mostly probably for the same reasons. Both for your, our children, and… well, this entire manor's safety. She can learn a lot from listening to your thoughts, love. Enough to make this place vulnerable. And that was if she was just some Reaver and not...”

“B– but… P– prom– mised t– to nn– not t– to h– hurt o– or f– fffight.” I stammer. “A– ally.”

“Beloved.” Tretion murmurs softly. “I… She hurt you, and while still within promises. Honored their words while tearing at their heart and spirit. We can prepare to better face any threats together, without her interventions. Yesterday was… was horrifying. But in the end we did not need her help. You escaped, and would have found us.”

“B– b– but… D– dre– dreaaadwee…” I whimper under her words.

“Spooky goose of a bitch. Sure.” Awnya shrugs. “But so is Ukalon, and you beat her without much time to prepare. Dreadweave stepped outside of her promises of the Fae, and only barely even then. She has no reason to come for us. And… Even if she did. I doubt Thendra could do anything to help us fight her that we can’t do ourselves.”

“N– no. Th– Th– Thenn…” Shake my head at that while moving past her name. “She, could help. St– strong. Scary. Sm– smart. C– could help. W– will help. K– keep J– jell– jellyfish safe.”

Another long pause passes before Tretion replies carefully. “When we spoke with her, and Awnya demanded she help us find you, I told her that they would remain with us.”

Risk a glance up to find her Crimson eyes searching mine as I whisper. “W– what d– d– did sh– she s– say?”

“Until such a time as they drift.”

Oh.

“She means to let them grow and flourish in our care. Then approach them as they might decide to wander the wider Rifts.” Our protective Watcher growls.

“And that’s assuming she will actually keep her word and let us raise them without her…” Awnya hisses, but she trails off. I glance over to find her expression twist into such an odd shape as Amwella wiggles in a new anxiety.

Tretion notices it too, glances over. “Beloved?”

Awnya swallows. “Nothing. Nothing. Just… noticing some old words matching up to new. Talks about birds that trick others into raising their young for a bit.”

I… don’t remember her talking about that, but Tretion seems to understand. Tendrils curl about me ever tighter as she nods. “Yes. I… It seems a good thing to keep in mind, I think. Especially knowing where these little ones come from.”

“Muh?” I ask.

“Sorry. Not really important right now. Got us distracted. Will explain later.” Awnya shakes off her worry over that and refocuses on me.

“O– oke.” I murmur and look back down.

“So…” Our soft and kind Fae whispers while leaning closer to me. “We could spend ages and ages talking about what she said. Pull apart every word to show you how she was wrong. Probably will have to. Multiple times. And even if she wasn’t, and all this and us is part of her schemes… I’m not sure that’s the heart of the issue here. Is it?”

“I… B– but…” I whisper and trail off. Pull every Naranggas that isn’t curling about one them closer as such a terrified tremble runs through me.

“She, for a very long time, was the person you could always trust to keep you.” Are her words that cut through me like the sharpest talon in the Dream. “There was always a cost, but… you’d give anything to have someone accept all of you.”

Feel just like I did months and months ago. In this very same room hearing them tell me the same things. The words are different but… I still feel the stupid broken girl I was. Like I’ve not grown or… or kept my promises or… or anything!

“And then she just… knew the right words to hurt you over that yesterday.” Awnya sighs, “Cheating cunt already could read you well, didn’t even need this nasty thing inside ya. Cut straight to the heart of your deepest fear. Basically screaming… Give me up, and risk being abandoned again. Alone forever.”

The sound I make is… something I didn’t know anyone could make. More like a snake hiccupping right as a bird snatches her up to shake it all about, while also underwater, than a girl letting out a soul-wrenching sob.

Such a broken wail that kinda makes everyone flinch as I just… fall forward and bump my forehead into Tretion’s chest.

Heart and soul and mind tearing apart.

“But you don’t need to sell yourself anymore.” Tretion picks up while gently moving arms up and down my back. “You’re free of that. Have all of us and our children for as long as you want us.”

“B– but… w– wh– what i– if…” Shift my gaze up to hers while everything breaks inside.

Don’t even need to speak the words for her to my question’s end.

What if I mess up again? Kill someone I love?

Her own expression twists, everything else shivering in guilt and pain softened by my return but… Not gone. Wounds upon the soul like that don’t heal so easily.

“Beloved that… that wasn’t…” She whispers, tears already falling. “You’ve found us again. Despite everything. Kept yourself and our children safe. Helped us weave a home safer than any in the Dream.”

“C– could m– mmm– mess up, a– ag– ggg–” I wail. Stumbling over the words. “C– could st– st– still lose e– e– ever– everything! H– hurt or– e– eat s– soul o– orrrr… F– fae c– catch a– and t– take s– songs o– or D– drrr– Dreeeedweave f– find and… b– but…”

“Hey hey hey.” Awnya coos into my spiral of rising panic. Wraps everything about me and Tretion. “Deep breaths. It’s okay. We’re here. Deeeep breaths. Not going anywhere, girl.”

Take a wheezing and painful breath through this songless litany. “Th– Thendra st— stong. W– wants m– m– me. K– k– keeps safe. K– keeps ch– chil– J– jell- ie– fish s– save. B– be– l– loveds safe. N– no lose h– her. No. Pl– please. N– no.”

“You don’t need her, Beloved.” Our brilliant Watcher insists. “Never again. That’s what you told me. Let… let us keep gifting you that. A future where you don’t need her.”

“B– but…”

“Didn’t even need her yesterday. If we’re being honest.” Awnya adds. “Would have tumbled into each other pretty quick. And next time we’re out we’ll all do better. Easily.”

Calm a bit at that. “B– but… What if wrong? Wh– what if we d– do need her?”

That makes Awnya huff, but… not in annoyance. In worry.

Doesn't have an answer.

“Then… mayhaps we compromise here.” Our brilliant Watcher murmurs into the silence.

I pull back and look up to find her gaze filled with… something. Like I feel just before pouncing on prey.

“Let us learn about this shard, find out how you can remove it safely. Then… proceed to only the last step of her promise. Keep it close in case a day comes that we truly do need that wretched woman’s aid, but… no longer within and able to spy upon your thoughts. Only toss it away when you are ready.”

Chew on my lip at that.

I… I mean my Dark Goddess’ words were specific. Always are. Just… don’t throw it at her feet. Keep it like a treasure? Not inside but… close? Would that be okay?

“I… Mebe.” Is my quiet whisper to her. “B– but c– c– can l– look. That’s oke.”