“Didn’t get the chance to say it before buuut…” Awnya murmurs as we walk down the streets of Theradas.

The other Reaver’s and Voe met us back at the entrance to the estate. Backpacks and a few arms filled with all manner of books and scrolls. Voe looked between us with a weird mix of disdain and curiosity. But remained quiet otherwise.

I’m able to walk mostly on my own now, but… Awnya hasn’t released my arm. To anyone else I hope it just seems… I dunno. Like she’s trying to keep me steady. But… I know this touch. Can nearly feel the anxiety beneath her easy smile and golden eyes.

“...Love the soul tail thing. It suits you.”

I flinch. Memories of… of Twital… of those two nights… The Reaver in question gives her and me a sidelong look, one of hatred and such… huh.

Still afraid. Good. That helps me relax just a little.

Awnya notices that, eyes me with more worry as she glances between the Reaver and myself. That sparks my worry, makes me try to send her away again.

“You shouldn’t…” I try to murmur for the third time since her father stormed back in the Rorliras, growling and filled with hatred. “You should go back. I’ll be fine.”

She huffs and pulls me closer, fingers entwined with my own rotten ones. “Heh, nope! That’s just not true. Not one bit.”

After we move through a few more side streets and circle back to a main road the silence is broken again.

“I’m… sorry?” Voe walks a bit taller than before, and tries to stay close to Thendra as we move. Single open face eye glances back to glower at Awnya and me. “I missed the reason for the sudden presence of another Fae. Who is this little doe?”

Thendra turns a slow look to her, Jade eyes very clear. You do not speak.

Voe flinches, raises hands in surrender. Goes quiet. And for the rest of the walk, no one speaks. When we reach the manor and are safely inside, Thendra instructs the Reavers and Voe to take the books into her chambers. Then for Voe to return to the room she’d been left in.

“Sleep if you want. Do not leave. My old instructions on your sight and Amwella remain unchanged.” Thendra purrs.

Voe nods stiffly, then departs. Once it's just Thendra, Awnya, and myself my dark goddess turns to regard us. “Lyra, gather us three a meal. Then come to my chambers.”

I want to object, but…

“I’ll help.” Awnya offers with a smile, pats my arm. “You have all those books to sort through and we can–”

Thendra interrupts her with a smirk. “You insult me, Fae.”

Awnya jerks to a halt. “Huh?”

“I’ll not have a guest perform such a task.”

I flinch, and Awnya pulls me just a bit closer as her smile goes brittle. I don’t want her to be alone with Thendra. But…

I untangle my arm from her’s, “Okay. I’ll be up in a minute.”

I make sure to carefully keep my eyes from hers as I head into the food room. It’s a little bit tricky to carry it all, but… in the end I decided that I’d rather just wash the taste of bile away with warm cider and only carry two trays. When I arrive Awnya is sitting at the table, while Thendra leans against the desk. An icy silence stretches between them. I slide the tray of fruit and two cider mugs on the table, and am setting the one with more meat on the desk.

I pause, wondering… where should I…

Then Thendra’s arms are around me. Pressing my back into her as one hand settles across my chest while the other tangles in my hair. Her huge arm begins to thrum with such warmth… Heat I haven't felt in… in days! I realize as I can’t help but tremble. She hasn’t held me like this since… since that first night I came back. Either abandoning me to sleep or casting me out into the halls to…

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“Will your elder be a problem?” Thendra murmurs, a soft steadiness to her words as her hand begins to caress and move through my hair.

The only part of her that doesn’t envelop me is her Amwella. Her huge soul remains back and just… looms over me. Even as my tail flitters back curiously toward her, a bigger tendril will just flick it away or push it back.

I cast my eyes down in guilt and shame... Worried Awnya will… will this hurt her? Will she…

Awnya sighs, and I can’t help but peek up to see her cocky grin as she picks at the fruit on her tray. “He’s a stubborn old goat, but… I don’t think he’ll… eh… interfere.”

“He was the first Fae elder to try and take my songs.” I murmur. “The… the one Usete went to all those years ago?”

“Yeah… I… I’m sorry, Lyra.” She glances over to give me an apologetic smile. “I didn’t know. Usete was… well they’ve always looked up to my dad. And I was still a bit fresh from my change then, so when they asked him I was off making trouble elsewhere. And they didn’t mention my dad’s past with this until like… a few days ago.”

I believe her, and… and can’t help but look away as my previous doubts sting my conscience.

Thendra rumbles, considering… and not satisfied with her words. “Could he claim this as his responsibility?”

“Fae don’t work like that. Elder is a loose term that just means an older Fae with more experience than most.” Awnya shifts. “We… This is messy. Not sure it’s ever happened. Most Fae are happy to work together to solve a problem. Or quick to move on if they aren't wanted. But this…” She trails off.

“You're his daughter.” I whisper. “I… I mean he’s right to worry about you being here with me. I’m… I really am such a mess.”

Awnya waves my words off. “Please, Lyra, you're just…” But she lets that trail off, turns a glare to Thendra. “Speaking of which. What were you thinking, demanding she sing a curse you knew she would fight? Do you just… like… get off on seeing her in agony?”

I brace for a growl, a snarl of possessive rage. But… instead Thendra just… laughs. “If you hadn't arrived, the curse would have been the only thing to save your elder from her.”

Awnya winces, eyes finally touch mine. Smile fades a bit as she realizes the truth of Thendra’s words, a mix of confusion and… a real worry. “Oh…Is… Lyra, is that true?”

I look away. Remember… remember his words. Then the anger and rotten songs I was gathering. “If he had tried to take my songs… Yes, Awnya. I would have fought with everything I am. I was ready to pour myself into a curse even.”

“Yeah… I hate that it almost came to that.” She huffs, and I peer up to see her smile turned a bit annoyed. “But… It didn’t. And I promised him the same thing if he tries something stupid. So…”

Thendra presses, “Will he come tonight? Try stealth and treachery to see you safe and Lyra subdued?”

“Doubt it.” Awnya snorts, “The old goat only uses our song of stealth because I make him. If he decided to act, it would start loud and at your front door.”

That seems to relax Thendra. “Good.”

“And he knows I’m not some freshly changed Fae.” She pops a fruit in her mouth, “I’ve saved his hairy butt from worse. He’ll want… well to see me once in a while. Might send Usete or another Fae to make sure I’m not dead or blighted.”

I won’t let that happen. The thought makes me flinch at the… the images and afterthoughts of what such a promise could mean… how… how I would truly lose everything If I…

“So!” Awnya suddenly pops up, taps at her tray. “You got extra rooms and beds in here, right? Best thing for her, and honestly all for us, is rest and calming our tits.”

“I agree.” Thendra purrs, “Take whatever room you like, so long as it doesn’t seem occupied by myself, one of my Reavers, or the Watcher.”

What if Thendra tries to hurt her?

“This place is warded against riftwalking right?” Awnya asks. “If so I’ll probably use that stairwell window to pop in and out. Might need to go back to the Fae-Wood to grab a few things over the next few days.”

How would I stop that? How could I even hope to!?!

Thendra’s reply is just a low rumble. Acknowledgement and… warning.

Awnya picks up the tray with the fruit and two cider mugs, raises an eyebrow in our direction. Wordless questions as her eyes settle on mine.

“I’ll… um… come find you later.” I whisper. Not sure If I would leave Thendra’s arms even if she was letting me go right now. Awnya nods while keeping her wonderful smile, even if it doesn’t quite touch her eyes. Then she’s gone to explore the manor and find a room.

“Why?” I whisper to the eternity of thoughts and worries and agonies.

A long silence passes as Thendra’s fingers weave through my hair, another hand begins to wander down. Just… seems to move over the hips and belly. But never anything more. She purrs in curiosity. So… I ask the easier question.

“Why… Why touch me now… after so many days of…” I turn my head, both in annoyance and… an offer. I know she likes that spot. But… she doesn’t do anything other than caress and hold. Even keeps pushing my tail away if it tries to reach back and tangle itself–

“You soulfire needed to be fresh.” She murmurs. “Undamaged.”

“For?”

“The night.”

That cracks something deep inside me. I’d… I’d hoped maybe… maybe she didn’t know. And that… that maybe she only needed space and that Twital just overstepped. In a fury I begin to tear her arms off me. Try to twist away. She lets me.

“You knew!?!” I hiss, whirling around to face her.

Jade eyes peer down at me with a cold regard.

“Why!?!” I shake with anger. “B– before… I understood. I hated it. But I did as you asked because I trust you. Because I knew it could help your Reavers survive whatever it was the Matron had you doing.”

She doesn’t answer. Eyes just… feels like she’s saying… I don’t need to explain myself to a slave.

I growl, and can feel the tears bubbling as the truth of it all crashes down. “You knew what she would do to me.”

Her eyes drift to my tail, writhing and twisting in preparation for… for something…

I shake my head. “You… you couldn’t have known…”

Thendra nods toward the door. “Go. Don’t come back until morning.”

I flinch back as if she’d struck me. Her eyes narrow as I refuse to move. And I almost… almost hold her gaze. But then I look away, turn and…

I pause at the doorway. “Anywhere in the manor. Right?”

She nods.

I grind my teeth. “Then… you know where I’m going to sleep? Know who I’m going to sleep with?”

A small, almost cruel, quirk threatens at the edge of her lips.

That makes me pause, I… I expected anger or for her to… to torture me by trying to keep us apart or from… well especially after how she tore my soul apart after finding out we’d been fucking.

But that look…

I want to demand more as fear of more punishment or… or… something washes through me. But her jade eyes are boring into me now. A very loud command. Go.

So I jerk away and begin to look for Awnya.

Smell and echoing songs lead my way while thoughts of… of why. Why would Thendra do this? Any of this? The curse, the nights alone, the… attacks and…

That’s why I don’t see her until I was halfway down a thin side hallway.

“Little Fae.” I jerk up to see Twital blocking my path.