CONTENT WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This chapter contains a Soul/Amwella/sexual assault.

So... Why write this at all? Why did I include this? Why did I write out a SA instead of just skipping over it and picking up with Lyra after the fact?

Well... This story is first and foremost, for me. I have my own shit to work through. My stories help me do that. And... I think I'd hate myself more if I didn't include something that I know happens to Lyra in her story.

I also want to state here that this is not meant to glorify or sexualize the experience. Regardless of the rules of Amwella feeding. If anything... that makes it worse. Not all assaults are 100% pain, sometimes your lured into... into... thinking its okay since parts of it feel good.

I'll also provide another bold STARTS HERE and ENDS HERE for those who want to read the rest but avoid it. There is a full chapter here and the event is just a piece. You could even skip this chapter entirely, just knowing that the above happens provides a key element of this story.

That Thendra lied, again.

No matter what PLEASE take care of yourselves. I know this story isn't a happy one right now. That it truly is an outlet for my own fucked up soul's damaged parts, and know that isn't always good for others to digest.

Regardless.... I Love you all. And thanks for reading and supporting my works!

CONTENT WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The words continue, but I miss all the rest as I am lost in a spiral of questions.

If… if they are Fae, then… Why are they here? Why are they working with these people… these flesh eating monsters?

I take a second to reassess their form and attire. Very dull, faint smell of the books and the desert. Not even a hint of the forest. Am I wrong? Do they just… know some Fae song? Can somehow weave complex silent magics?

Do I warn Thendra?

I glance about, but with how everyone is crowded around the table I’ll draw all attention to myself. And I could be wrong. I was never fully taught the Fae tongues, so I could just be hearing and seeing things.

I sigh. Just… ignore them. Focus.

So I do… I spend the rest of the gathering watching the different members and keeping ready in case of a sudden emergency or command. It takes hours, and Adonie doesn’t stop stealing glances at me. All the same. Boiling anger as they try to read… something in my own eyes. I know they know I know what they’re doing, but eventually I just lose patience with it all and stop even trying to understand them.

Then the meeting is over, and people are paying final respects to each other and the Matron. I’m mostly ignored as Thendra speaks with the Matron. There are thanks given for assisting in locating and guarding the Rorliras a few months back. They speak of the Reavers' importance to the main thrust of things, and only once am I even mentioned.

“And what is your Fae’s role?” The Matron asks politely, only a single eyestalk lazily wafts over me.

Thendra lays a hand on my head again, “She will help us subdue, or even ignore, a large portion of any guardians. Might be able to guide us if certain paths become blocked.”

The Matron raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t ask anything else.

As we leave, Adonie is still just… staring. Anger finally boiled enough to break their impassive mask. That glare spoils what would have been a peaceful walk home. Thendra’s promise burns through my mind… All others will scorn you or ravage you.

She was right, of course. Thendra’s right about everything…

Back at home all the Reavers gather in that main entry hall to drink and go over things. I’m… not really interested, or useful here, so I just… relax against Thendra and begin to doze off. That last painting dances in my mind. The silent melody of the–

“That leads us to your first part in this, Lyra.”

Eyelids flutter open, I’m laying on the fluffy chair with my head on Thendra’s lap. Her hand still tangled through my hair.

“Hmm?” I murmur, rolling to stare up at her.

“I need to ensure all Reavers have enough Amwella to perform their tasks and recover quickly if they become injured.”

I blink. Waiting for her to explain.

“You’ll spend this night with three others, allowing them to consume large portions of your Amwella.” She doesn’t stop her hand motions, but they become… more controlled. Less casual.

Sex with… With other Reavers? Not with Thendra?

“Do you understand what I’m telling you to do?”

No.

“Yes.” Is my immediate reply.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

But… I’m hers? She’s… I’m not supposed to… Only she’s supposed to consume that part of me.

She stares down at me, nods, then looks up to continue talking with the others.

It’ll feel good, it has to! Your body and Amwella are hers, and she needs you to share some of yourself with her Reavers. The conversation continues without me, and I roll over to stare out into nothing. Lazy energy drained like blood from an open wound. This is what she promised you. Pleasure and purpose.

Later that night, Thendra walks me past her chambers to another room where three Reavers lounge on their bed in silent muffled conversation. All three women turn as we arrive, and I can’t help but freeze in the doorway. Everything about this room is wrong. Instead of the smell of books and spices and subtle fruits, the room reeks of cooked flesh and sweat and a little blood. I can’t help but scrunch up my nose at it all. One of the women rises, approaches slowly.

Thendra places a hand on the back of my head, I can’t help but lean into it, retreat in sudden cold fear from–

She nudges me forward.

“Lyra, you know Hundat.” Thendra purrs.

She’s right, she was one of the women who came with us during my training. I… we only talked a little. Mostly just… helped in sparing or kept watch.

“She is only shy,” Hundat murmurs as she reaches us, holding out a hand to me. “Come.”

Thendra nudges me forward again, this time with a little more force. I obey the silent command on reflex, stepping from her touch and giving Hundat my hand. It’s only as we reach the bed that I reconsider things and glance back.

Thendra is already gone.

Hundat helps me pull me up onto the large bed. Once there I almost try to sit alone, a fourth corner of the group, but Hundat pulls me into herself. I end up in front of her, facing away, her legs and arms wrapping around me. Her warmth thrums against me, and I’m reminded of that first night with Thendra. How she slowly and carefully lured me back into her arms. I begin to relax, almost lean–

STARTS HERE

But then her teeth are at my neck, one hand pushing my arms aside to clasp at my breasts while another begins to wander down. I squeeze my eyes shut. Just… pretend she’s Thendra. In a way she is! Big and warm, and she kinda belongs to her. Is an extension of her. She won’t hurt you, can’t if she wants to get a ‘clean’ bite at your Amwella!

It helps, and as her fingers slide over my underthing, begin to rub and carve against the moistening cloth. I can’t hold back a whimper of pleasure as her teeth graze across my neck, as Hundat slowly brings the heat gathering between my legs to a boil, and soon she’s melted me into a little shuddering shaking orgasm. Like always my senses flip to watch as her Amwella curls around mine, grows little teeth and–

It hurts. Oh… it’s not supposed to hurt this much.

I gasp, half in pain, half in pleasure as she rips and tears such a large piece off of my soul. Larger than Thendra ever tried to take in a single bite. Where I’d normally lose little tendrils that flail and wiggle off the ends, Hundat consumes what feels like a fourth of my core. I slump, choking and gasping as warmth causes my hips to quiver. I… I’d normally already be wiggling up against Thendra for more, but… The cold ache at my core distracts from the afterglow and rising warmth.

Suddenly I feel a large hand grip my ankle and pull me across the bed. I can’t stop a yelp as the second Reaver drags me up to herself. Lifting lifting, my hips are drawn up and up. Next thing I know I’m sort of slumped upside down against her with my legs hanging over me, spread out and dangling. Then something rips and tears what’s left of my soaked underthing away, Warm lips and sharp teeth mushes down into everything between my legs. She’s… well she’s not even trying to take it slow. But with tongues so big she kinda just… hits everything at once. I twitch and squirm, still sensitive from Hundat’s work, but strong warm arms hold me. The cold fades a bit, warm growing heat begins to–

She presses into me, breaks through me, wriggles deep. I cry out, both in pain and pleasure as she begins to swirl her tongue inside me.

That’s just Thendra. I lie to myself. She’s just… being rough tonight. It’s amazing. Just enjoy it!

So I do. Wriggling and moaning and twisting up closer into her. Trying to get her to go deeper, faster, harder. Building and building to the deeper orgasm that such intense tongue fucking normally brings me. The bite she takes during my shuddering shivering orgasm hurts more than the first. Teeth tearing away a piece bigger than even Hundat had. She drops me with no hesitation while my body is still rocking from spasms of pain and pleasure. I can’t help but curl around my core and focus in horror on my soul. It’s… I’ve never seen it bleed! Never in all my time under Thendra’s care have I–

The third woman crawls atop me, and I almost cry out, try to push her away as I try to understand what’s happening. Consider if… If maybe she would just… not. If I could…

But unlike the others, she pauses, takes my chin between two fingers and turns me to look into her deep maroon eyes.

I freeze, “Um… can… can we slow down for–”

She pulls me into a kiss, slow and warm and… I almost vomit as she pulls away, trying to covertly spit as her lips and teeth wander to my neck. Her breath was all flesh and blood and… rank. A growl rumbles through her, nothing as terrible as Thendra can aim at me. But… but it’s not a kind thing. I… I think she’d annoyed I–

Then her fingers are at my cunt and clit while teeth clamp onto a breast. I yelp at the sudden pain of her rough work. But… Despite my previous cold and fear at her rising aggression, I can’t stop the growing pressure between my legs. Dreamers Tit’s! I’m too sensitive. Even now the pain just warms me back up. I even end up… almost, pleading once during a whimper. With rough hands and sharp teeth she forces me to bubble up and explode. My climax hits, and her soul clamps its teeth around the biggest chunk of my Amwella of the three, and rips it off in a sudden angry jerk. Leaves my Amwella weeping soulfire and so so small. The warmth cracks and shatters almost immediately, and I’m left with nothing but shuddering cold aches.

I press my palms into my eyes and grind my teeth in agony as soon as she crawls over and past me. It’s nothing like my Lament or Fae words of Pain and Spite… to compare them is silly. Those pains are real and solid and I can heal them with a song. The pain I normally feel from Thendra’s feeding is… nothing. Pleasant even. The sensation of sharing a sensitive part of myself with her is… well… it makes the sex even better!

But this… I am left with a quivering bleeding cold ache deep inside me. I feel so broken and torn apart. I turn, curl on myself, and stifle the sobs before they can reach my mouth.

Stop it!

This is what you wanted! Pleasure is better than loneliness. You’d take this if Thendra was the one doing it.

STOP IT!

ENDS HERE

I eventually must pass into unconscious oblivion, because next I open my eyes the room is dark. A heavy quilt has been pulled over me, and when I roll to check all three women are asleep about the other side. Their legs and arms seem to twist and pull around each other, while I am at the foot of the bed.

Without conscious thought or plan, I silently push the blanket aside and roll to drop to the floor. I stumble, surprised and not used to such sore legs and breasts and crotch. Normally Thendra would always have me sing a little song of healing before we collapsed into sleep. I rise though, and quietly exit their chamber and head down the hallway to the room I call home.

But I freeze in the doorway as I spot a second mound of person lying amidst the quilts and covers beside Thendra.

But… that’s… that’s supposed to be me.

I bite my lower lip, hard. Taste blood as I drown the sob I feel preparing to overtake me. I… I consider crawling into the bed anyway. Thendra’s words that she’d always want me to ask for release echoing in my mind. But next thing I know I’m in the middle of the stairs, face smushed into the lower part of the open window.

“May I sing” I whisper

But Thendra’s not here. She’s still asleep with–

“Please,” I beg, trying desperately to drown out the shattering and horrible pain these Dreamer Blighted monsters inflicted on my Fae flesh and soul.

She’s not yours, little slave.

“May I sing!?!?”

One last piece to break. One last bastion of happiness and hope to get butchered by these flesh eaters.

“Let me sing!” I wheeze through clenched teeth.

Sing then.

I do, and it almost kills me. The song is a quiet thing. Barely a low hum. If I’d tried something bigger I’m certain my Amwella core would have torn under the curses sting. It bites and tears and jerks at my little wounded soul. But this pain is nothing to the shattering in my heart and the cold ache I smother and strangle.

By the time I end it I’m still slumped onto the floor beneath the stairwell’s window. Knees splayed beneath and beside me, head rolled back to rest against the cold stone as I stare up at the dark ceiling. The song fades, and I allow the sweet embrace of sleep to consume me.