Content Warning:

Trauma, mention of past Sexual assaults. soul biting. accidental attack/biting/assault. desire to self-harm a limb causing dysphoria.

I don’t remember when she finally was able to move me. Just… bits of soft encouragement and cooing warmth. And... and one flurry of panic and growling and whirling soul-tails as she tried to pull me toward what I think is the hallway with the manor's stairwell window. Then... eventually I’m in a small bed with her. Wrapped in musty quilts and her warmth as she tries to get me to drink some cold cider and nibble at some fruit.

I don’t do either. Can’t...

I’m just… sprawled between her legs with my face at the center of her chest while she leans against the backboard. Letting the intoxicating warmth of memories of the Amwella feeding numb everything into a dull haze. Eyes never close, just… stay half-lidded and locked on nothing. Awnya’s fingers carefully wander over my back and neck and cheek. She’s not pinning the mauled talon anymore, just… keeping it close. Still worried I might try and finish biting it off.

The talon is missing both smaller fingers and big chunks of the skin on top of everything, Awnya stopped me before I could get far. Healed it as best she could. It's… It's not twitching anymore, but… I’d still like to finish off the blighted thing. I just… can’t move right now. Her warmth and touch reminds me of the feast, and to move will invite pain and questions and…

Worse things.

Awnya takes a deep breath, then speaks quietly into the dim room she’s settled us in. “I know you're there, and I need you to do something for me.”

A long pause.

Whip-crack Snap. My tails sense the danger, and the warning causes it to flinch back. A… A burning core of Amwella in the doorway. Seems to… to be holding something.

Oh that’s her bow.

“Tell Thendra I’d like to speak with her.” Awnya whispers quietly to Bulderii.

Then the danger leaves. My tails settle into slow waving motions again. But… It’s not long before my wretched dark goddess stands in the entryway. Just within reach of my Naranggas. Crack Whip-Snap. They meekly warn, but do not strike. Such little things can’t hurt the roiling core of Amwella that spreads from her.

A long pause, Awnya takes a steadying breath.

“It wasn’t her fault.” Her voice is solid but… almost quivers. Worry and fury and other things are warring within her. “She… Your Reaver, that is, attacked her.”

Thendra leans against the archway. Considers us.

Awnya presses. “You can’t blame her for defending herself.”

“My Lyra acted as I knew she would.” Thendra purrs calmly.

“You knew she…” Awnya tenses, confused, then almost shaking with rage. “Wait! You… you knew that would happen? And you didn’t stop it?”

Thendra does not reply, just watches us.

“Why?” Awnya hisses.

A long pause.

“You couldn’t have wanted another of your Reavers dead. That’s… Dreamer’s Tits that’s completely insane! Why waste a soul when you just lost so many fighting the Watcher family?”

A purring rumble, then I can feel Thendra’s jade eyes roll across my core and tails. Can’t stop a shudder that passes through my everything, even my Amwella and its writhing limbs.

“Was it wasted?” She purrs.

I can feel Awnya stiffen, eyes move down to me for the first time since my dark goddess arrived. “This… Thendra look at her! I don’t know what would have happened if I wasn’t there! She bit half her hand off before I could stop her! She needs real help. Fae help!”

Snap-Crack. I tense up so hard at her words, feel the ugly talon begin to twitch. Awnya pauses in surprise at my sudden movement. Thendra just… rumbles amusement.

Awnya's voice becomes soft and gentle. “Lyra, I’m… I’m not talking about… I mean healers! Fae like Equin and your mother! Kind and wonderful and… and…”

“Would they look past all this?” Thendra murmurs, motions toward my tails and… things.

“I…” Awnya sputters. “Not at first, no. But if I just explained–”

“Like you did to your elder?” Thendra muses. “I wonder, Fae, if your kind truly seek to help my Lyra, Why are they not here now? Offering aid unbound?”

My Lyra… The words still sooth my soul and send brumbles up my spine.

Awnya grinds her teeth. “You pushed her to this!”

Thendra just purrs, amused and satisfied.

“I should just… just take her. Get her out of here and away from you!”

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.

I expect anger, brace for Thendra’s fury and threats. But my dark goddess just laughs, and the rolling harmony of it is a cruel thing. “Try then, convince her to step into your Fae woods again.”

Awnya’s hands are no longer comforting but… protective. A pause passes before she’s leaning down to try and make my eyes meet hers. I roll them down and away. “Lyra… please. Just… would you trust me? Let me–”

I… I can’t talk. Too afraid of the pain it could bring. Of the maggots and rot I might summon. So Instead I just let out a low growl. Hoping… hoping she’ll understand my fear and anger and… and…

Awnya’s face turns sad and… and a bit pale.

Thendra laughs, “Tell us true, Fae, if Lyra found herself in conflict with your kind, maybe even your own elder, who would you stand with?”

“That’s not a fair question and you know it!” Awnya spits, turning back up to glare at Thendra.

“Mmmm… where was that fairness when my Lyra was alone in your Cursed woods?”

Crack Whip-Snap. I don’t… don’t even mean to punctuate the claim, just… my tails still writhe with all the emotions I cannot express or explain.

“You’re…” Awnya stiffens, then sags. “You have a point. You are a horrible manipulative cunt, but…”

A long pause.

Awnya whispers. “You know I’m going to fight to keep her safe. From them and you. Now more than ever!”

Snap-Crack.

“Of course.” Thendra purrs, and then she leaves.

And I let my thoughts drift into a place without pain or agony or despair... only the muddled peace of feeding...

* * *

Soon... that heat feels so close again. Near enough to taste almost... And so sooooo warm!

So I pull it closer, drag teeth and good talon beneath cloth and along soft skin and–

“Hey, Lyra.” The warmth coos. “Good to see you moving and…eh… aware of things.”

Almost… almost want to…

Crack Whip-Snap!

“Woah, hey. Watch the tails!” She laughs, but with a hint of worry. “Let’s eh… slow down for a second, kay? I need to make sure you’re–”

Good talon digs into a hip, teeth rumble and bite into a collarbone through annoying cloth.

The warmth goes still. Amwella flickers into view. Close. So close. Tails curl and reach out, wrap around and around and around and–

“Hey hey hey!” Comes a hiss from the warmth, hands press against my shoulders. “Slow down, no biting. Okay?”

I pause as… as things… bubbling muck of memories begin to… to flood in. Of hungry Reavers and angry Fae. And of a warm euphoria that numbs my mind to the horrors of it all.

Can’t… can’t survive without that! Not...

Naranggas erupt with teeth and claws before squeezing about the warm soulfire.

“Lyra!” The warmth hisses, makes a choking sound. “That’s… Let go! I… I can’t–”

More pain bubbles up at her voice. Of names and things and pain and shouting and running and dark goddesses telling me to hurt someone I love. Of maggots and rot and dead watchers and dead Reavers who won’t look away!

I squeeze harder. Drink in the warmth weeping from the thing as it wriggles and struggles to escape.

“L– Lyra. I need you to let go of my Amwella, yeah?” The warmth pleads, hands wrap about my shoulders and twist through my hair. “I’m… I’m not going anywhere. Just… I–”

Tears roll down my face as my body teeth dig deeper into flesh. The taste of blood mixing with the scent of weeping soulfire as… as…

Painful memories of the past few days roll through me. Twital hunting and raping me. Fae threatening to take my songs and unravel me. Of… of Reavers trying to tear me apart. And of glaring dead eyes and twitching talons urging me to hurt… someone–

The warm soul I’m currently trying to eat...?

Awnya!?!

I flinch, hard, and try desperately to let go. Oh Dreamer’s Tits I try!!!

B– but I can’t. The weeping soulfire numbs the thoughts and memories and agony. Feels like warmth after freezing for so long. Air after drowning.

But… I don’t dig any deeper. Even… even manage to force my tails to pull in their sharp bits.

“Yeah. That’s a good start.” Awnya grits through a pained murmur. “Dreamer’s Tits girl you have quite the chompers on those.”

She kisses my hair, “Now, let’s get them off me, yeah? C’mon. I know you can do it. Maybe one at a time? Just, slowly and carefully. Don’t want to pull me apart, yeah?”

Part of me does. P- Part of me…

No. No no no!!! Slow. Very slow. Need to… Pull them free. Ignore the tasty soulfire and let her go!!!

It takes forever, and every few seconds a little wound will leak and I have to freeze else… else… Don’t think about it. Just keep unwinding and untangling!

Then she’s free, and I’m able to peel my soulfire away without taking too much. She still flinches and lets out a little hiss of pain. But… she doesn’t let me go.

“Good girl!” She runs fingers through my hair as Naranggas pull back, beginning a slow twisting above and around my back. Still dripping with fresh and bloody soulfire.

Her touch and words relax something in me. A… a worry or pain or something. Helps me–

“Now… Can you unclench your jaw, Lyra?” She coos softly. “I don’t mind a bit of biting, but you're at the bone there and I’d like to heal that up.”

I… oh. It takes more effort than the Naranggas. Not because of some deep hunger, in fact I almost vomit as I realize the amount of blood that’s pooled in my mouth, But because my muscles are so tense. It hurts, but with an audible pop I release her. Then gag and spit blood all over her chest and pretty tunic.

But she only laughs and wraps me tighter in a little hug. “Perfect. Good job!” She reaches down then, touches my good talon and its wrist. “Now how about this one? It’s not as bad, but I’d rather get this all in one go. Will a song from me bother you?”

I pull the talon free. Cough. Shake my head.

And she sings. It’s a wonderful little tune of soft warm things. Her Amwella quivers and… and weeps wondrous soulfire and…

I end my soul sight. Focus on the song. Let tails drift and bob about in time with her nice melody.

But… as her tune comes to an end. I am drowning in horror.

I… I almost killed her. Almost… almost…

“Ugh… that’s the stuff.” Awnya sighs in relief, wraps arms around me. “I already helped get some of your body healing up, but you seem mostly good. Did I miss anything?”

I deserve this pain, and more. I… I’m… I’m such a messed up thing!

“Lyra. It’s okay! I’m fine. Just took a bit of a nibble there.” She pulls me closer, and It’s then that I realize I’m shaking with terrible sobs. “Little itty bitty bite. I'll nom you back later, okay? Probably a spot a lot lower than you did though…”

That… I… can’t stop a pained giggle from choking through and mixing with the sobs as the thought of it warms me more than any of her weeping soulflame did.

“You’ll squeal louder than I me, I’ll promise you that!” I can almost feel her smile then, feel a trio of kisses rain down on the top of my head. “Dreamer’s Tits Lyra I’ve thought of nothing else but you since I left. Wanted to just… just hold you again. Albeit in safer places.”

I tremble, moving to pull both talons against my chest. Awnya catches the bad one. “Nope, I get this one.”

“Pl– Pleas–” I try to croak out, but my voice is a raspy mess. Want to beg her to just… let me finish. It’s horrible and rotten and almost… almost cursed you.

Let me bite it off!

“Moon and Stars,” She chides me, nothing but patient care in her voice. “C’mon, sit up. Let’s get you a drink.”

I hesitate, taste the blood still coating my mouth and lips and tongue. Gag, then obey.

“That’s it.” She wraps legs around while keeping my knees splayed beneath me. “Hey, wanna see something neat?”

I can only just glance up to stare into her marvelous golden amber eyes.

Then she whistles a soft tune of… something. Brings hands around her head in a big motion, then cups them in front of my face and mouth and…

And then she’s tipping a mouthful of cool fresh springwater past my lips. I can only just… stare and drink and wash the taste of blood away. My eyes meet her’s again in wonder and awe. Then the water and song are gone, leaving her hands to trace up and cup my face.

“Hey.” She coos and smiles, my heart flutters and burns in… things.

“I’m so sorry.” Is all I can whimper.

“Don’t be. This…” She looks past me, glimmering eyes focused on my tails. “I… I think I’m starting to put some things together. But for now I… Honestly Lyra we need to get you someplace safe.”

I shake my head. No.

“Your mother’s was a good spot. Or…”

I keep shaking. No.

“Naw, you're right. She wouldn’t appreciate all the noise we’d make.” She leans back, but keeps a hand on my maimed one. “Hm… where to run off too…”

“I’m not leaving.” I reply. Voice still a little raspy and horrible.

She taps her chin, ignores me. “Could just… run around for a bit. I actually know a spot past a rift. Little island with wonderful–”

“Awnya!” I hiss softly. “I’m not leaving again.”

She sighs, “Yeah. I... guessed that. Just… wishful thinking.”

But it doesn’t muddle her smile, the glimmer in her eyes that has nothing to do with Amwella sight. “Maybe… Maybe I can talk you into it after we figure more of this out. Get you on a beach… or… have you ever visited the ocean, Lyra?”

I huff, look away as I feel her words tug at me… at… at images of… of being with her again. “N– No.”

“Oh then that’s the first place! You’d love it! Just… nothing but water all around. We’d figure out how to grow gills and fins and–”

“Stop. Please.” I whisper.

She just… smirks at me. Undeterred. Sensing how easy it would be to just... tip me into this. Into running away. Just needs time.

“Awnya… I…” I begin to tell her how much I care for her. How… How I wish I’d met her twelve years ago, or… or even just a few months ago. How I’d give almost anything to just… spend that life with her.

But… I can’t. Because my soul is already in the hands of another.

Then the floor trembles, just a little. But enough that we both jerk. Our eyes meet.

Awnya winces, “I don’t suppose I can talk you into waiting here? Let me see what that was?”

My tails alert me to the Reaver in the doorway.

“Come.” Bulderii commands.