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Lamentations of The Dead Dreamer
Chapter 4: How Homes are Found

Chapter 4: How Homes are Found

The room goes still, and every woman here tightens with a threat of violence. Both newcomers' eyestalks seem to twist, each focusing on a separate woman. I shuffle a step behind Thendra to try and block the ones that turn to me.

“Ah” The taller of the two huffs and pouts, “I… I assume it didn’t go well then.”

“We’re… We’re so sorry,” The smaller one murmurs.

Then… Thendra surprises me with a loud sigh and release of breath. “No. Apologies. Voe, Zitra. You come at an interesting crossroads. You’re not the cause of our setback.”

That returns the smile to the red one’s face. Voe? “You are forgiven. But seriously, come share drinks with us, or invite us to stay for a few. We… we might be able to help or…”

Thendra shakes her head, splays out one hand. “You’re too kind, but I’d rather focus on recovering lost time.”

“Very understandable.” The smaller one nods. Zitra?

Voe tilts her head. “Surely you can spare an evening for… No… No, I'm being selfish. You're right. Preparation is the key to your work.”

Thendra nods. “Thank you for understanding. The message, then?”

A pause, false looks of confusion so obvious that even I can read them plain.

“Oh! No message!” Voe exclaims. “I genuinely was just being selfish. Wanted to see if you’d spare the time for us!”

Zitra somehow conveys a roll of her eyes, despite their total blackness, “I tried to stop her. Told her you’d not enjoy her company till the job was done. Especially if…”

She lets that trail off, and Voe winces. Then her face eyes settle on me, a head tilt of curiosity.

I feel a… some kind of weight settle over me. The room seems to grow quieter. Voe begins to open her mouth.

“A single drink.” Thendra purrs, and most of Voe’s eyes snap back to her. “Then I will drive you from our home.”

A smile of pure glee consumes Voe’s face. “Really?”

Thendra nods, proceeds over to one of the large… couch things and it’s nearby table. Takes up the jar and begins to pour a few drinks.

Voe looks ready to burst with joy as she moves to sit on a nearby fluffy thing. Zitra follows, but is happy to remain standing and simply lean against the same piece of furniture as Voe.

The rest of Thendra’s women relax and begin to disperse. Heading off into other hallways and passages. The bow woman stays though, moves to lounge on a far couch.

I stand awkwardly. Glance about. Look down to my feet. She told me to follow… but… they seem to be… These are drinks between… somethings. Friends?

I feel another weight fall, glance up to see Zitra’s face eyes settle on me. A weird silence seems to deepen. My chest tightens as I realize my magic is even more stifled than before. Weighted down and being slowly smothered under this strange woman’s gaze.

All my panic begins to return. The curse is one thing… but to have my magic completely pulled from my reach? On reflex I begin to gather what Amwella I can, open my mouth to prepare a melody to beg the forest to hide me from–

“Lyra.” Thendra calls, lazy but sharp.

That snaps me from it. Reminds me to drop the magic before the curse stings. Zitra’s gaze turns to regard her as well, which ends the smothering weight.

Thendra’s not even looking at us, is only just now beginning to sit down with a drink. As she sits she simply motions to the space beside her on the fluffy chair. When the meaning is clear I jolt and scramble to her. Drop into the comfy softness at her side.

“Soooooo.” Voe drawls after a small sip, “We don’t need to talk of business or… well… any other unpleasantness. Last we had the chance to relax, you were telling me about the sacking of Jut-Kinta and the amazing morsels you wrested from some rival?”

Thendra looks up, “That was over a year ago.”

“Surprised I even remember that story?” She titters, “It’s one of my many talents. Being very good at remembering things about the people I’m interested in!”

“I…” Thendra contemplates that, then shakes her head. “She’s beyond our reach now.”

A pause. It takes me a second to realize who she is.

Undreka.

“Did you get the fuck who killed her at least?” Zitra offers, “Because… if not. We can–”

Thendra lets out a low growl, looks down to her drink. “No.”

Neither speak. Voe takes a patient sip, then, “Thendra… you don’t need to–”

“She’s not dead.” Thendra sighs, says a few words in her own glorious and thrumming language, then looks to the two. “Undreka is no longer one of us.”

A long pause.

“Forgive my… misunderstanding.” Zitra shifts, “But from what I understand that’s… not really something…” A huff, uncomfortable with her next words. “Her strength belongs to you. How can you abandon that without… um…”

Thendra smiles, and it’s a dark thing that sends chills down my spine. “I was made an offer. And a trade was made.”

The two look to each other, then back to Thendra. I feel Zitra’s gaze flit over me.

“Oh…” Voe murmurs, “That’s… why? How? Did Undreka catch the eye of some goddess or something? Convince her to pay you a great boon to break old vows?”

Thendra chuckles, then pulls her tunic down to reveal her side of our curse mark. “Have you ever seen one of these?”

They both study it, all eyes turn to regard my mark on her. I can’t help but look away.

“It’s… well it’s some kind of curse. I’m sure Zitra here could–” Voe’s brow furrows. “Wait… why isn’t it withering a bit? We’re staring right at the fucking thing!”

She glances over at Zitra, then back to Thendra. “Who’s mark is that? How the fuck did Undreka convince some–”

“I’ve not a clue!” Thendra cuts her off with a rumbling chuckle that carries very little mirth. “But by the time I understood it, I was given no other choice but to abandon our hunt and negotiate.”

Voe pales. “This… how bad is it? I’d need time but surely we could help you–”

“It’s already nullified. I’ll not feel its sting ever again.” Thendra placates her with a wave, “And it all ended in my favor.”

A patient pause, then when Thendra doesn’t offer up the conclusion, Voe huffs.

“Well then? What did you get in return?” She presses, “How did you get the better of someone who could lay such a… a spiteful thing upon your soul?”

I… can’t help but wince at that. It was all I had. I couldn’t just offer up my death… I had to be willing to suffer and offer my life.

Thendra just places a hand upon my head in a silent reply.

The weight of both their gazes is almost suffocating. I can feel a panic begin to rise again.

“A pillow slave?” Voe snorts, “Really? Thendra? Really? You lose one of your best Reavers and get some little flame to gnaw at for a few days?”

Thendra rumbles out a purr. Fingers gripping and twisting and knotting through my hair.

“They can’t be okay with this!” Voe sighs. “There isn’t even enough of her to go around! That is unless she had some ungodly level of Amwella that you’ve somehow bit off her in the past… what… ten hours?”

I… I can’t help but try and bring my Amwella up, preparing a song of stealth as more of their little eyes turn to glare at me. I take in a deep gasping breath prepare to–

Thendra grips and yanks my hair.

She just barely saves me from the sting, but I can’t help but let out a little whimper as my song falls away. Then she pulls me into her side. Not for comfort, but in restraint. A silent; don’t make me stop you again.

“She can’t even withstand our attentions.” Voe whines, “What am I missing here Thendra? Please show me you’ve not dashed one of your most valuable assets into the void on the eve of our Matron’s big venture!”

Thendra sighs, “For beings of such… observation–”

Voe huffs, brooking a pause.

“You’re very good at not seeing what sits before you.” She finishes, then adds. “It’s actually a welcome show of your limitations.”

I fight to soothe all the wailing terror that I’m trying to keep at bay. She’s… your hers now. Stop pretending you have any power or control or–

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“Then tell us!” Voe throws up her hands, and even a few eyestalks flutter out to mimic her exasperation. “Enlighten our ignorant souls!”

I can feel Thendra’s grin. “She’s Fae.”

That brooks a startled silence.

“Her Amwella is… kinda small.” Zitra murmurs. “Are you sure?”

That hurts. If my mother had finished raising me. Taught me and given me a century of care and knowledge maybe I would have–

“No no… I can see it now.” Voe Murmurs, “You must be… what? Less than a decade since you're shaping, dearie?”

It’s hard to look at her, but even through the pain I remember my commands. They are the only thing holding me together right now. I turn to look up to Thendra.

She meets my gaze, nods.

“Tw- Twelve years.” I whisper, trying to avoid meeting her eyes.

Twelve years since my eighteenth nameday, and my mothers greatest gift.

“And already broken and submissive!” Voe praises Thendra, “You always were so good with new captures. Although… I must say it might have something to do with her original form. Did she tell you yet? What was it? Oh please share with us!”

I bristle at the… the truth of her words and don’t even turn to Thendra to find out if I’m allowed to speak. I won’t answer that, won’t give these two that piece of me. Although…

“Too embarrassed? I hear many Fae are by that piece of their past.” She giggles, “I wonder if I could guess at it? Hm…”

She guesses at a few, but none of them even come close to the truth. Thendra just chuckles, more and more mirth at how far off she is. I think I’ve always been broken, haven’t I? Thendra just happened to be there to pick up my pieces this time.

“O…kay.” Zitra asks, saving me from more prodding. “So you ensnared a young Fae. How is she an equal to Undreka? If she was mature… sure. But… it’s not likely you’ll be able to keep her till then.”

A pause, then Zitra’s teeth clack together at a sudden realization.

“What?” Voe breaks from her focus.

“No…” Zitra’s gaze breaks from me and bears down on Thendra, Voe’s follows and I am given amazing relief. “That’s not… She couldn’t have–”

I can’t help but gasp and suck in a lungful, as if they’d held me beneath a river for the past few moments.

“Have you come to understand?” Thendra purrs at her. Zitra’s gaze doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

“Who… exactly, laid this curse?” She asks carefully.

Thendra smiles, “Who do you think?”

“What does this matter?” Voe complains. “I’d still love to know what this little morsel started out as!”

“The two are linked.” Thendra muses. “And this will be an excellent reply to your Matron.”

A tense pause. Please don’t… Please don’t tell them. I don’t know if I can handle that. If I can handle their smothering gaze and joking laughter as they realize just how much of a mistake I am…

“We already told you, this isn’t…” Voe fumbles, “We’re not here for her. We’re here as friends! Allies! Wanted to–”

Thendra growls then, low, heavy, and with a great degree of meaning I can only begin to process. I can’t help but shudder.

“Okay okay.” Zitra raises both hands, palms out. “We might have offered to check in. Didn’t lie! She just… you know how she gets! We wanted to keep the peace between–”

“Guess at one or the other.” Thendra purrs, all threat and relaxed pride. Fingers move back into my hair. I can’t help but close my eyes and enjoy the touch.

You're hers. She’s got you. She’ll keep you safe. Just… just stop thinking and let her handle this! It’s fine. It’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine it’s–

“Fine!” Voe huffs, “Sorry. I just… I don't want this to go sour. Okay? Especially this close to things.”

A predatory chuckle, “Guess, before I finish my drink and keep my promise.”

A sigh, “Zitra you seem to have an idea of all this. Can you enlighten me?”

“I can only guess at the shape of things.” Zitra supplies, “But… Knowing what you lost and what you’d need to recover… Did this little Fae lay that curse?”

“What?” Voe nearly shouts, “Zitra! That’s dumb. Especially for you! To lay a curse that dense, that untouchable to our eyes, she would need to have millennia of–.”

Thendra’s fingers move down to my neck, begin to squeeze and break down the tense muscles and sooth me.

“No. If you believe that you're a failure to our Matron. I mean… please! Look at her! She’s obviously the dumb disappointment of some old Fae parent, given as a petty prize to our Thendra here to help her cope with failure.”

The room goes quiet, Thendra’s hand goes still. I can already feel the tears beginning to form as the final shards of my heart crack. She’s right. Oh, Dreamer’s Tits, she doesn’t even know me and she can see exactly what I am.

The silence stretches and stretches and stretches on. I shudder, pull my knees up to my chest and curl in on myself.

“I won’t apologize.” Voe spits at some unspoken reply. “You’ve been had if you think this little… thing! Could ever cast that curse. She’ll never be worth a fraction of what Undreka was.”

“Voe…” Zitra warns.

“No!” Voe shouts. “You could just tell us you got unlucky. That some Fae cunt got Undreka and laid a curse to keep her. It happens! You’re not the scariest thing walking the rifts, Thendra! You were lucky to even get this thing. The singer who laid this curse could have set up something much meaner. There is no limit to them! I’ve read old tomes about poor sots who got so many curses they had to drink–”

“A wager then.” Thendra hums. All amusement at Voe’s outburst.

That stops everything short, even I peek out to take in the view as I discreetly wipe at the budding tears.

Voe is standing. Eyestalks writhing about at her agitation. Zitra is beside her, hands on her arms and trying to calm her.

“What?”

“What are you willing to lose?” Thendra resumes the massage on my neck as Voe’s glare shifts between us.

She purses her lips.

“Let’s keep this friendly?” Zitra presses, “Don’t gamble anything you can’t–”

“Anything. You're wrong. It’s plain to see!”

Zitra grips Voe’s arm, hard. “No. Look. Voe. Look at me!”

Voe eventually shifts her glare to Zitra. “What.”

“Temper yourself. Keep this friendly.” Zitra’s voice is level, but harsh. Dark eyes bore into the taller woman. “Thendra, what part of the Fae-wood did you say you found her in?”

Thendra takes a long drink from her mug, whispers. “Offer a wager, or guess at her old form.”

Voe yanks her arm free, “I offer access to our Matron’s library. Unrestricted. All parts. For one year.”

Thendra grins, Zitra balks. “You can’t–”

Voe only spares her a few glaring eyestalks, “I won’t need to. But if this little thing can lay curses that don’t recoil under our gaze… then our Matron would offer nearly any boon to have her.”

I wither at that. At the idea of… being sold. Being passed between–

“And what would you expect from me? To match such a great wager? I can only offer paltry fortunes and future services.”

“Service then, once the venture with our Matron is done. Ten years.”

Thendra just laughs. “Is your library so sparse? Make it twenty.”

Voe jolts at that, the first sign of the worry that she might be wrong landing in her mind. But she only grins, pushes the bet. “I’ll give you two years… but… to keep me interested…”

Her eyes lock on me again, and the weight is so much worse now. “If I’m right, or if your proof is lacking. I'll get her.”

Thendra doesn’t laugh at that, just tilts a head curiously, “Why? She would be proven a broken offering.”

Voe grins with such malice, “Even so small I know many in our Matron’s brothels who would pay handsomely for a Fae pillow slave. Might even enjoy that myself. The last bites of her little Amwella would be a delicacy. ”

I jolt at that, twist around to Thendra. “Please, This isn’t our–”

“Done.” She growls, dark and annoyed, causing me to choke on my plea.

“Done.” Voe hisses back, then turns to Zitra. “Will you witness this for us? On the honor of our Matron?”

Zitra places her head in a hand. “Sure. Whatever!” Then turns to Thendra. “I witnessed this wager. Show us your proof.”

Thendra purrs, then pulls me up into her lap like I weigh nothing. Lifts my shawl, bearing my entire chest to the room. I blush hard and can’t help but squirm, but know better than to even try to stop her.

She doesn’t speak, just lets the two women focus on the curse mark carved into my collarbone.

“What am I supposed to see here?” Voe huffs, annoyed. “It’s… this is just like yours, correct? Why would she curse herself to never go near Undreka?”

Thendra well… she doesn’t shake me, but I am jostled from my embarrassed horror by a light bump. “Tell them why.”

I sputter and hug myself and try to cover my breasts. “Anchoring it to myself made it… well not stronger but… more effective. Harder to ignore and shake off.”

“I can see that, the curse did start here. But…” Zitra’s eyes move to my face, “Why? Why would you–”

I don’t meet her gaze, don’t even try to ask Thendra if I’m to answer that.

“Tell them what would happen if I killed you.”

I’m grateful for the change of question, “She’ll get my half as well. Double the Amwella drain if she violates the Lament.”

Thendra purrs, “Is this enough?”

“No!” Voe spits, “Not even close. She could still just be exactly what I said she is. A powerful enough Fae could weave it on you both. A joint curse.”

“Not likely, but… technically? Sure.” Zitra looks back to Thendra as she lets my shawl fall back into place. “Only other proof I can think of is to have her place a new curse.”

Thendra saves me from even having to contemplate how we’d work that out. “If my next proof doesn’t settle this I will have her curse someone for you.”

Then she is twisting me, and I can’t help but gasp in sudden horror as I realize what she is showing them. The underthing she gave me barely covers half the mark, so luckily all she has to do is pull a strap to the side a little.

Brumbleflesh and heat roll down me in embarrassment and shame as Thendra bares my backside and worst shame to these two.

“Wait… a second one? On herself?” Voe stammers, “Fuck, Zitra you know these things are fucking complex to read. Can you please just translate what it does for me?”

Zitra doesn’t, not at first, she just… stares. Takes it all in.

Under the two weights of these women, and the shame of being displayed like some human marketplace pig for sale. My restraint finally breaks, and I plunge my will down to grasp at my Amwella. I dredge it up, brace for the pain I know could very well kill me, and try to weave it into a song. I don’t even know what it will do. I just… I want… I want them to stop!

But I underestimate my own work, and how dangerously effective the curse is at stopping me.

It bites down on me like a snake clamping on a mouse’s neck. And my magic tumbles into oblivion. I fight through it, try to fumble at the melodies, turn my gasping sobs and pained cries into notes. But… nothing works, so I go deeper, dive into the pool of energy that I know will drain away very quickly from the curse if I–

Next thing I know I’m being shaken, violently.

My eyes roll about, trying to remember… trying to understand where I am and why I’m in so much pain and who is—

One hand grips my hair, while the other envelopes my entire lower jaw and part of my neck, clamping my mouth shut. I’m sort of straddling someone’s lap, hanging before her. Little twitches and spasms wrack my body.

“LYRA!” Thendra snarls, barely an inch from my face.

My eyes snap to her, Jade encompasses everything.

“STOP!”

I realize I'm still grasping at my Amwella, still trying to shove beautiful sorrow out into the world. That my curse’s stinger is buried almost as deep as it will go into my core.

I sputter out a sob around her hand and release the song.

My arms flop to my sides, and everything goes limp as my Amwella falls away and the stinger slides free.

A pause, hot anger rolls out of Thendra in another snarling growl.

I… I can’t really talk. Although I’m pretty sure I can feel gummy blood ooze from one or both of my eyes.

I feel her grip tighten, and a little voice inside thinks this is where she will kill me. Am glad that I at least tried to sing one last song before–

Then she drops me, just… lets me fall against her.

Deep steady breaths are everything I know for a few moments as I slide limply down her warm chest in a boneless slump. She doesn’t touch me though, doesn’t hold me. Keeps both arms at her sides, tense with fury.

“Is that enough?” Thendra finally growls out.

Voe answers. “Maton’s gaze… Thendra, she–”

Zitra interrupts her, “The… the word of the thing proves it. She laid this curse.”

“Obviously.” Voe hisses. “I was wrong, on both counts. If we weren’t here she would have–”

Thendra interrupts with a light thrumming growl.

A long pause.

“The Matron is going to have an absolute shit about her.” Zitra finally spits out.

That gets a chuckle from Thendra. Angry and low.

“This… fuck this is the opposite problem I expected her to have with you today!” Zitra hisses. “I expected your strength to be hobbled! For her to be reconsidering your place in our venture.”

Voe huffs, “Yeah… You know what has to happen now, right? You… you can’t keep that. You have to sell her to–”

“No.” Thendra purrs.

A surprised pause. They both try to speak at once. Voe wins out.

“No? No?!?! Are you fucking kidding me?!?!” She spits. “You bring this back as a replacement to Undreka and don’t expect the Matron to–”

“She is mine.”

Her words add warmth to my core. I choke out a cough, shiver and twitch at the latent pain and gathering cold.

“Look. If this is a ploy to get a good price don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure she offers–”

“Zitra, you say you saw the word of the curse.” Thendra cuts her off, “Tell Voe then, who can command Lyra to weave Fae song?”

I can hear Zitra grinding her teeth. “Just you. Only your command can let her sing without the curse’s bite. But we all saw her endure that fucking pain to do it anyway. Saw what she started to do with so little Amwella.”

Thendra shrugs, careful not to shift me. “Your Matron can either break her vows, make war on me and mine for her. Or… she can wait until our partnership is over to make a move.”

“Or you can avoid all of that and–” Voe starts.

“She. Is. Mine.” Thendra cuts her off with a very quiet purr, emphasizing every word. I can't help but feel more of me relax at the proclamation.

“So was Undreka! And you traded–”

“If I had stubbornly pursued that path it would have destroyed us as certainly as fire envelopes parchment. I would have loved to drag Undreka’s body back here, cut her open, and ravage every last drop of her Amwella.” Thendra snarls, “But this little Fae made sure that wasn’t an option.”

I would have shuddered if my muscles weren’t so weak, and would have sobbed at the mental images. But there is only enough left of me to breathe and sag into her warmth.

Zitra sighs, “Isn’t this the same? You tease at war with our Matron. With us, Thendra.”

I… I don’t remember deciding to focus on her Amwella. To alter my perception in the way one needs to see another's flame. Hadn’t even tried since our first meeting in the forest. Especially after I laid my curses. Was too worried it would trigger them.

But now I do it without thinking, and my curse remains still. So I bask in the warmth of Thendra’s aura. She doesn’t seem to notice as the tendrils of her own glorious blooming fire curl around mine.

Thendra shrugs, “Many great powers tease at war with each other in these cities.”

“Fuck. Thendra… you can’t be serious! You can’t–”

She cuts off, something in Thendra’s expression ends her rebuke.

“Carry this message back to your Matron alongside all you have seen today.” Thendra purrs, “Tell her that I would love to keep her as an ally for the foreseeable future. That I value her patronage and hope to continue operating as friends and equals in our beloved city and beyond.”

“And… and if she doesn’t like that?” Voe pleads, “If she insists you sell her your new Fae pillow slave?”

I can feel the dangerous grin echo through Thendra’s Amwella. “Then remind her of how I got this home. Of the old things me and mine broke here.”