Just like before, the curse will take only a moment to cast.

But… Unlike before, I’m not blinded by adrenaline, fear, and the maddening brain rot of post-rejection… things.

I have to think about what I’m doing, and I need to come to terms with what this curse will mean for my future. And as we wait for the two women escorting Undreka to return, I can feel the panic begin to rise and choke me.

My magic is… how I communicate with the world. Like… I didn’t just sit and listen to the sounds of the trees and the tunes of the birds, I sing back! They know me, love me… and…

Will I even be able to say goodbye?

“Can–” I look up to Thendra, who’s hovering over me as I sit on the grass.

I realize then that she’s not taken her eyes off me since she’d had Undreka sent away, and that… I don’t know what to do with that. Don’t know how to feel about that. I expected pain and abuse and probably a quick and brutal death… but this? This attention? The intense stare? Like I’m something valuable she wants to make sure doesn’t slip away?

She raises an eyebrow.

I realize I just froze after a single word and was staring, “I just… I was wondering if I could say goodbye first?”

A confused furrow comes across Thendra’s brow, “Undreka is already away from our grasp. You can feel it in the mark too, correct?”

“No, not her. I mean yes I can feel that. And I’ll lay… do that thing when they return. I just…” I sigh and look down. “Wanted to sing my goodbyes to… well… everything here. To this tree that let me build my home inside it, to the birds… and… To the forest. If… if that won’t…”

I trail off. Let the request sit. Begin to fear she’s grown angry at the question. Thinks I mean to wriggle from her grasp now that Undreka is gone and safe.

“Go on then, Little Fae.”

I look up to see… a smirk. A return of that same smile as before, the one oozing joy at… something.

I… don’t understand her. But I’m just too exhausted emotionally to think about it. So I rise and walk over to the closest place where I can lay a hand on my beloved tree, and start humming my farewells.

There is magic in it, and it does cost a little Amwella. But my body is already regenerating everything I’d lost from the curses bleed.

It’s… it’s not like talking to a person. The tree’s subtle groans and creaks aren't a secret language returning my sorrow, but… It is communicating things back to me. Just not people things. All the plants are this way. And most of the bugs too.

The birds and bees are the most understanding. Being of warm blood and motion and such they can share in some of my grief. They fly down from their branches to land on my shoulder and arms. Cuddling and nuzzling against my neck.

But then they move on, and I’m left standing alone as I see the two women return from the corners of my vision.

I jerk to find Thendra looming over me. I didn’t even hear her approach, didn’t feel her presence until she wished me to.

Fear grips my heart then, and I consider running. Think of refusing to bind my magic to her will. Debate how likely she would be to re-negotiate our earlier conversation now that Undreka is gone.

Do I regret this? If I could turn back time, redo this day, would I stay hidden and let Undreka be taken?

“It’s time.” She purrs down to me, eyes alight with anticipation and hunger. I can’t help but shudder as I feel her stare wash down over me, I have to look away.

No… I might have wanted to save Undreka at first, but… now? I’m really selling myself to this monster for… what? I could just say no now. Accept death. Might even be able to make sure she has to make it quick!

But… I don’t move. Just… stare back up into her hypnotizing Jade eyes.

Why can’t I do it then? What is this… anticipation? I’ve had pretty people try and kill me before. Why is she making me feel this way?

I almost choke on the answer. It’s the feeling of being wanted. Of being valuable.

I reach a talon up to my collarbone, ready to carve and sing another curse into my skin.

Deep breath, Now–

Then her hand is gripping mine, gentle but firm.

I jerk to stare back up at her, a question on my face. Did… did she change her mind? Maybe she’ll take me without binding my–

Her gaze seems to pass over me then. Considering…

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“Does it matter where it goes?”

“I… what?”

“Can this go anywhere, or does it need to go there?”

“No. It’s just… I…” I stumble over my answer. Trying to understand–

A low rumble moves through her as that large predatory grin shows me her teeth. She steps up very close, leans down and reaches around me, hovers for a second, then taps my right butt-cheek with a single finger. “Place it here.”

I sputter at that, feel a blush burn at my cheeks. “Wha… what? Why?”

“I’d prefer the mark to be there.” She purrs.

“I don’t–”

“Lyra.” She takes my chin between two fingers, forcing me to meet her gaze. “Place the mark.”

That Amwella drowned repressed horny part of my brain can’t help but jerk me into paying attention.

“I… I don’t… I’m not sure why–” I squirm.

A growl jerks me to silence, playfulness no longer seems to tint her eyes now.

“Fine! Okay!” I huff and she lets me pull away.

I pause, look past her to the waiting group. And of course they are all watching with various levels of interest. I glance back up to her, considering asking if I can do this inside my home.

Her looming gaze bears no question as to what her answer would be.

So I slip out of my shorts, grit my teeth and…

Deep breath.

Then I am carving chains, binding and horrible, into my flesh.

Only a few seconds of pain, then a whisper of song as I hum the Lamentation’s shape into being. It’s a guttural thing, ugly and laced with old pain of having a part of myself trapped. Of my soul being bound within flesh and will.

I will only sing when commanded by Thendra.

I will always sing when commanded by Thendra.

I will stop singing when commanded by Thendra.

I anchor it to me, and seal it in the brand I’ve carved into my right ass-cheek. I feel a second hot poker pierce my core of Amwella, and melt itself into place.

The song fades, a beat of silence passes, and…

Terror wars with logic as I begin to shake violently. All the weight of this decision hitting me like a cold wash of rain. I knew nothing would change right away. Unless I break the word of the curse it won’t hurt me. But… it’s like a hand shoved and caught in my throat. A slow realization of suffocation and–

I start hyperventilating.

I… I betrayed my mother. Taken her best gift and sealed it away. I’ve locked my magic behind this… this monster! Let my loneliness drive me into madness and slavery!

I look up to the forest, and it gets worse.

I hear its ever changing melodies call to me, and I yearn to rely. To beg it to help me. To hide me and protect me like it always has.

Reflexively, I draw up my Amwella and begin to form a song. Then the curse plunges its stinger into me.

Oh…

If the earlier curse was like a slowly growing tide of weariness, this is like a knife stabbed into my spine. While it only actually pierced my Amwella for a split second, the amount lost is sudden and very very noticeable.

I stumble, fall, and break out into trembling gasps as I curl around myself. Panic and pain and sorrow overwhelming me. I’m not breathing, can’t even try as my throat seals shut. Can’t think past the waters of madness and pain. Darkness gathers around the corners of my vision.

Then Thendra kneels down next to me, places a hand over my still bloody curse mark.

“Sing what healing you need.” She commands, soft but sharp.

I don’t hesitate. I’m stammering and sobbing out a song from the pits of my soul. Just... singing to feel that it’s still there.

To comfort my breaking heart.

Well… A little voice amidst the pain chides me… it’s been shattered so many times before. Not sure there’s much left worth fixing at this point.

The curse mark doesn’t move, doesn’t sting, so I pour more of myself into what I feel could be my last song.

I… I don’t know how long Thendra lets me lay there, but I can’t help but add the rivaling hatred and… well… desire for her desires, into my song.

I’m vaguely aware of the other women’s sudden shouts and cries of alarm as my sobbing song shifts, of how the air goes cold and begins to frost everything for ten feet around me.

How old shadows gather about my twisting form and consider my wailing cries. Of how the Dreamer herself begins to stir at my–

“Stop.” Thendra demands.

The curse's sting chokes my words, leaves me wheezing and sobbing in silence as whatever magic I’d been twisting into existence dies.

There are more sharp exclamations in their gorgeous tongue. A few hushed murmurs of worry. I even hear the thrum of that huge bow’s string get pulled back.

But then it all cuts off at a single crisp word from Thendra.

I blink away the melting frost tears, glance up to her, terrified at what I might find. She’s never going to let me sing again. Not after–

That predatory grin is what looms over me. Victory and joy and such deep hunger.

It helps take the edge off the pain, numbs it into something bearable. Ends what might have been a second fall into maddened panic.

Then she’s wrapping arms under my legs and back, lifting me. Cradling my exhausted body close to her chest. I’m too tired to even pretend I could resist this. Even if it’s–

She’s so warm. I realize, and can’t help but lean my face into her.

“I’m sorry.” I murmur.

A low rumbling chuckle runs through her, “Have you ever done that before, my Lyra?”

My Lyra. The words send twisting thrums through my heart.

I shake my head. “I… I don’t know. I wasn’t… I wasn’t really paying attention.”

Thendra thinks about that as she carries me through her group. I’m too afraid to look out at them.

“Did…” My panic does begin to return then. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just… you told me to try and–”

“No.” Her words silence me. “You did as you were told. And showed me that I have made a very good bargain today.”

Something inside me breaks at that. At being a good… well… anything. I play the memory of her calling me ‘her Lyra’ in my head over and over and over again as I dissolve into a sobbing mess. I don’t really have any energy or tears left, so it ends up just being a quiet shaking thing.

Thendra… oh Dreamers Tits she makes it worse. She actually pulls me closer, doesn’t even seem annoyed or angry at my whimpering sobs. Even… and fuck if this wasn’t an odd thing to hear from an eight-foot tall monster in the shape of the most attractive woman I’d ever seen, shushes me a few times. Murmurs sweet sounding nothings… Although they are in her language so she could have been saying really mean things, but I’m just… too tired to even worry about that.

Then there is a… tearing sound. And I can’t help but peek out from my little emotional puddle to see how they entered my forest without alerting my song wards.

A Rift of purple twisting light sits at the edge of my clearing, and beyond it lays a shimmering plain of dark sand. A woman beside the Rifts hand glows with similar energy to it.

Oh.

I’d seen something like this once before. At a distance. My mother had taken me to see the Midday Court a few days after my changes were finished. In the center of that treetop city of twisting impossibly shaped architecture, lay three huge gateways. Each supported a Rift like this.

I’d never gone through them, but… at the time I loved the idea of adventure in this new and perfect body.

There is no ceremony, no real… importance given to this amazing feat of magic. Thendra just carries me through.

A second of vertigo, where I feel like I’m suddenly being yanked upwards and sideways instead of down, and then we’re across. Hot dry air washes over me, and I can’t help but cough a little. I consider asking to be put down, insisting I can walk. But Thendra’s warm arms pull me close against her chest and the thought melts from my mind.

Then she turns, and I see a city of charcoal brimstone and cerulean jade jutting from the sands. Once the last of her women pass through the Rift, I watch as it sputters and closes.

Then they all begin to walk toward the city.

I… I don’t remember much. There are tons of stairs and soon I realize the city goes even farther down as it does up. I remember that not anyone here is like Thendra and her group. Most are human…ish. I don’t think I see any Fae. But there are other beings that I don’t recognize.

I just don’t have the energy to care though, and let myself pass into a fitful sleep.