I stared at the array of sweets on display at the convenience store counter. Why did they put all the good stuff here? Wouldn’t it be better to put it around the shop? I tugged at Uncle Ben’s coat.

“Hmm? What’s wrong Peter?” he said, glancing down at me.

“Why is all the good stuff at the counter?” I asked. A smiled formed on his face and he ruffled my hair, chuckling along with the cashier.

“Do you want something?” he asked gently. I nodded and pointed at a small chocolate waffle. Uncle Ben plucked it from off the shelf and put it down on the counter with the rest of the stuff.

“That’s $14.56” the cashier said. Uncle Ben handed him a note and the cashier opened the register with a satisfying ding, before handing Uncle Ben his change.

“Thanks Mike. Have a nice day” Uncle Ben said, leading me out the shop.

“You too Ben. Bye Peter”

I waved to Mike and we stopped out of the shop, and started on our way back home.

“You not going to eat the waffle?” Uncle Ben said.

“I’m saving it” I said clutching it tighter.

“Alright, but put it away you don’t want someone to t-”

He was interrupted by a shout from down the street. Both of us turned to see a man rushing down the street, a bag clutched in one arm tightly. The man barged past people as a woman chased him, screaming for someone to stop him. Uncle Ben steered me behind him and pushed me back slightly. As the robber rushed passed us Uncle Ben dived at him, tackling him to the ground. The tumbled, rolling across the floor as people around us shouted.

“Get back Peter!!” Uncle Ben cried, and then a gunshot cut through the air. My ears rung as I flinched, stumbling backwards. As I opened my eyes again the robber stood up, looking at me, his eyes wide with fear as a gun smoked in his hand. Then he ran. I stared at him, watching him go then looked back to the floor as Uncle Ben lay on the ground still.

“Uncle Ben?” I said, my voice filled with fear. He twisted to look at me, his breathing laboured as his face contorted in pain. I rushed over to his side as people around us shouted. He clutched my hand tightly, staring deeply into my eyes.

“I’m sorry Peter. I… I love you” he said, his voice strained. I stared at him, uncertain of what to say as his face twisted in pain even further. His eyes grew distant, and his grip slackened.

“Uncle Ben?” I said, my voice more desperate now. I By the time I realised what had hap everything seemed to slow down.

But the scream wasn’t my own, it sounded shrill, too high pitched to be my voice. Suddenly I was watching from afar a gun in my hand. I stared at the scene, Uncle Ben lying dead on the floor. But it wasn’t me crouching over him, it was the little girl.

-

I jumped up with a start crying out. Another bad dream. I wiped at my face with my duvet, a mixture of sweat and tears staining it in the shape of my face. My entire body ached dully, and my leg still felt stiff. It felt like my whole body was raw, like I’d been put through a power washer. My hands trembled and I clenched my fists trying to still my nerves. It didn’t work and I let out a shaky and frustrated sigh. I clasped my hands together and brought them to my face, my expression twisting with anguish as the memories of last night and the dream burned themselves afresh in my brain.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

I couldn’t get the scream of the little girl out of my head. The fear from it, the anguish. She’d been scared of me. That notion shook me to my core. It felt like it confirmed everything I’d feared; all the doubts I’d had about doing this. But most of all it reminded me of things I really didn’t want to remember. And right after I’d messed up with the Sand guy.

I choked back a sob, pressing my forehead into my hands. I could feel the panic again, rising in my chest. Things were getting worse. I needed to do something to calm myself. I glanced outside. It was dark out, but the stars were blotted out by a layer of clouds. Memories of Gwen suddenly pushed to the forefront of my mind and I slumped over, tears filling my eyes.

The sound of my door creaked and I whipped around, spotting May peering into my room. She saw me and instantly rushed forwards. I turned away, covering my bruises and face with my blanket.

“Peter?! Peter what’s wrong?” May cried out.

“It’s okay” I replied.

“Peter, please talk to me

“I’m fine!” I said through sobs.

“Peter! You’re not fine! Please just tell me what’s wrong!” May said, hints of anger in her voice.

“I- I… I’m sorry” I said, my tears growing worse. May pulled me into a hug. I tried to resist for a few seconds before giving in and sobbing into her shoulder.

“It’s alright Peter. It’s ok” she said, her voice reverberating from my chest. We held each other tightly until I pulled away, letting out a tired sigh.

“Are you ready to talk to me?” May asked, taking my hands in hers. I nodded. “What’s wrong Peter?”

“Everything” I sniffled.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, it just feels like everything’s too much”

“Then why don’t you destress?”

“I can’t just… stop worrying about this”

“Why not try?”

“I… I don’t know how. I can’t” I repeated.

“Well you enjoy taking photos. Does that destress you?”

“I said I-”

“Peter”

“It wouldn’t work. And even if I could, I don’t have time for photography.”

“Why not?”

“I… there’s important things I have to do. Science stuff, people I have to apologise to, things I have to fix and a promise I have to keep”

“What promise?” May said concerned.

“I-“ I held my tongue. I couldn’t tell her. She’d lose it, knowing I hid this from her. Even worse if they reported what had happened last night on TV, she might even hate me.

“Peter?”

“It’s a secret” I mumbled.

“Even from me?” she said, the pain in her voice palpable. I stayed silent.

“That’s fine. It’s okay to have secrets Peter, but you have to confide in someone if they’re eating away at you like this”

“I… ok” I responded. We went silent for a few seconds. ”I made a promise. To protect something, for someone else. I… I messed up. Badly and I don’t know whether it would be worse to stop and break my promise or carry on and make even more mistakes” I said.

“We all make mistakes”

“Not like this” I said, sighing.

“Well, what do you want to do?” May asked.

“What I want to do doesn’t matter! It’s what I should do!” I said, pulling away. I froze, the outburst catching me off guard.

“Sorry” I said.

“It’s ok Peter” May said. Silence persisted before May finally spoke up.

“Peter, what you want to do always matters” she said, turning to look at me.

“But what if what I want to do is the wrong thing?” I said.

“You’ll figure that out when you make the choice. Like I said, we all make mistakes Peter. We’re human” May said, taking my hand again. I stared into her eyes, seeing their warmth but also their concern. I looked away. Was she right? Could I really make that choice? I mean, I wasn’t exactly trying my hardest to be Spider-Man right now, would it be ok if I stopped? But what if someone got seriously hurt by the Sand guy? Would I really be able to live with myself?

“Is there anything else?” May asked.

“I miss Gwen” I said, surprising myself. May pulled me closer, rubbing my back as she let my head rest on her shoulder.

“That’s ok” she said, her voice emotional as she rested her head against mine.

“It’s just, she was here, laughing with me, keeping my life in order, talking about the future with me; about all her plans and ideas. And then she was gone. She didn’t even get to do anything” I said, tears welling up in my eyes.

“She did Peter. She changed so many people’s lives for the better” May responded. I felt my breath hitch in my throat as tears started to stream down my face. I wiped at them, but the flow only continued as May pulled me to her, letting my head rest against her shoulder. Eventually the flow of tears slowed to a stop, and me sat in silence as Aunt May rubbed my back.

“Sorry” I said.

“For what?”

“Crying so much”

“Nonsense, you can cry as much as you need to”

“I just... I cried with MJ and… I thought I’d already cried enough”

“There’s no such thing” May said with a saddened smile. I sat still for a moment then sniffled. May pulled me into another hug and I embraced her back, holding her tightly.

“I know I can be overly caring sometimes, to the point of invasiveness, but please Peter, if anything ever happens, talk to me” May said.

“I’ll try” I responded. May let out a slight chuckle and pulled away.

“I guess that’s the best any of us can do” she said. She pulled me forward, angling my head down and kissed my forehead.

“Goodnight Peter” she said.

“Goodnight Aunt May” I said back.