I’d completely forgotten about the guidance counsellor. So when someone had shown up at my dorm and told me I had to meet Mrs Hatton at one, I’d nearly laughed in their face. I wasn’t laughing now, sitting outside an office dreading what was about to happen next. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long, but I’d been sitting here for a while now. I glanced at my phone. 13:15. Did I leave? No. This was school mandated so I might get in trouble if they found out I skipped it.
I tapped my foot restlessly. I wanted to call Amy. It’s all I could think about. I still felt bad for effectively quitting on her, even though it’s what I’d wanted. I sighed and pulled out my burner phone. I kept it off because I still got the random call from people who’d seen the flyers, but most of them were probably gone by now. Taken down or obliterated by the elements. I doubted the people whose windows I’d stuck it to had been very happy.
I stared at my burner phone and felt a weird mix of emotions. It was a reminder of both the good and the bad things I’d done in a mask. God, I couldn’t believe I’d actually tried to be a metahuman for hire. It felt so weird thinking about it now. I stared at the phone, furrowing my brow. I could transfer Amy’s contact info to my regular phone. I needed to get rid of this one.
Suddenly the office door swung open. I fumbled with the burner before catching it. I slipped it into my pocket as I looked up to see a dark-haired woman in her late thirties stare at me warmly.
“Sorry about that. You can come in now Lucas. Please, leave your shoes at the door” she said warmly. I stood up and took of my shoes before walking inside. The office was a bit bigger than Mr Becker‘s. This felt more like a room. There was a sofa filled with cushions, a large chair, and a smooth red rug covered the floor. There was a desk in the far corner with a computer on it and a few utensils, but nothing else. Drawings and paintings of landscapes lined the walls.
“Take a seat. I don’t mind if it’s in the sofa or the chair” she said. I nodded and took a seat in the chair. I swivelled around in it as she took a seat opposite me.
“So, Lucas, what do you want to talk about today?” she asked. I frowned.
“Aren’t you supposed to decide that?” I asked.
“Why?”
“I mean you’re the guidance counsellor I just thought…” I trailed off as she scribbled something on her notepad.
“Uhhh… what’s that for?” I asked.
“My notes. So Lucas, what’s troubling you?” she asked. I let out a deep breath and leant back in my chair.
“That’s kind of vague, no? I mean do you mean right now, or like… in general” I asked.
“How about both?” she said scribbling something down. I frowned but didn’t say anything.
“Well, I’m pretty hungry right now. And I don’t know if they’ll still be serving lunch once we’re finished here. How long will this take, again?” I said.
“I usually let my first sessions run a bit longer than half an hour, so as long as it needs to” she said.
“Half an hour?!” I said surprised. She scribbled something down and I shut up.
“So what’s troubling you in general?” she asked.
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“I… not much really. I guess life just like anyone else” I said.
“Life. Ok. What in particular” she said.
“Uh… School. Friends. Family. You know…. Life” I replied.
“Are you having trouble with school?” she asked.
“No. Well yes, but no. The works fine but I’ve been late to class a few times, I’ve forgotten some homework and I’ve missed a lot of lessons for the first month, especially here. I mean I don’t think any other student in my year has missed a single lesson. That’s kind of incredible, no?” I said.
“This is a boarding school Lucas” Mrs Hatton said calmly.
“Yeah but…” I trailed off. I couldn’t say anything more without absolutely ruining my life.
“But what?” Ms Hatton asked.
“Nothing” I replied sighing.
We sat in silence for a few seconds, before she spoke up again.
“Are you struggling with making friends here?” she asked. I paused.
“N-no” I stuttered. She scribbled something down.
“How many friends do you have?” she asked. I leaned back in the chair frowning. This was starting to feel weird. Invasive almost.
“Two” I said.
“What are their names?”
“Eric and Amy. Well… I guess Eric’s more of an acquaintance. He’s nice but we don’t really talk outside of the dorm” I said.
“Ah Eric’s your roommate. And what about Amy?” she asked. I paused.
“Can I get in trouble for stuff I say in here?” I asked. Mrs Hatton paused, lips pursed.
“Yes and no. I’m here to help you, but I’m not a therapist. We don’t have confidentiality between us, but as a rule of thumb, I won’t share anything you tell me in confidence unless it puts you or others at risk. Would you prefer I keep all the details of talks private?”
“Yeah”
“Ok. And Amy?”
“I know her from out of school” I said sheepish. Ms Hatton paused again.
“Given the context I assume that to means you’ve been sneaking out of school” she said. I didn’t say anything and she scribbled something down.
“Have you been sneaking out of school because of this Amy person?” she asked.
“I… not at first. I guess more recently yes, but I decided to stop”
“Why?”
“I… we had a disagreement and sort of realised we wanted different things. We’ll still talk but…” I trailed off.
“How old is Amy?” Mrs Hatton asked as she scribbled something down.
“A year older than me” I said. Mrs Hatton nodded.
“Would you mind telling me what the disagreement was over?” she asked.
“There was something she wanted to do and I just… it’s not that I don’t want to do it… I just… I can’t. I think she sort of just expected me to and when she realised I didn’t want to she was hurt. She says it’s okay, but I can tell that it’s not. I didn’t mean to hurt her. ” I mumbled. What the hell why was I telling her all of this?! It’s like she’d unzipped my mouth and my thoughts were just spewing forwards. Mrs Hatton scribbled furiously for a few moments before looking back up at me.
“Lucas… this might feel a bit personal and you’re free to not answer, but was Amy trying to coerce you into a sexual relationship?”
“What?! No! No. It wasn’t like that” I replied back, shocked.
“Was it some form of illegal activity? Drugs?” she asked.
“No. You’ve got it all wrong, she was trying to get me to do the right thing” I said looking away.
“The right thing? What do you mean by that?” she asked.
“…I can’t say” I said.
“Is it related to some form of abuse? Domestic violence?” she said. I shook my head.
“Lucas if you or this Amy person is at risk I need to know” she said, a concerned edge to her voice.
“We’re fine. No one’s getting hurt” I lied, relaxing my posture.
Ms Hatton nodded and scribbled something on her notepad.
“If you don’t mind me asking, if you think this is the right thing, why can’t you do it?” she asked.
“I’m not sure” I said.
“Well, why don’t you try it? I know it may seem dtíaing but the fact that you feel like you’re disappointing your friend seems to be seriously affecting you. If you don’t like it, just tell her. If she’s really your friend she’ll accept it” she said. I paused and looked down at my hands. The images of the claws and blood flashed in my mind.
“Would that be ok?” I said looking back up.
“I think it would. Though I’d advise you to start getting authorisation to leave school” she replied.
I felt myself deflate into my seat, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders and the knot of guilt in my stomach come undone. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try again. I mean I’d backed out the second it had gotten difficult. Nobody had gotten seriously injured. I mean I was probably putting Amy at more risk not helping.
“Lucas I also think it would do you a lot of good to join a social club. That way you could make more in school friends” Ms Hatton said.
“That… sounds like a good idea actually” I replied. Ms Hatton cracked a smile. We continued talking for a bit before the session ended. We said our goodbyes and I left. I quickly found a quiet place and pulled out my burner phone. I stared at it for a few seconds before breathing deeply and turning it on. I called Amy, my heart rate growing faster with every ring. I was really doing this.
“Hello?” Amy said on the other end of the line.
“Hey Amy. I’ve… I need to tell you something”