I sat on my bed, staring at the wall. I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular, and I didn’t want to. I felt empty. Hollow. I was probably in shock. Or maybe I was just trying to avoid responsibility. It didn’t matter. It didn’t feel like anything did. I glanced around the room. I’d cleaned up but it still felt messy. I looked down at the mask and two phones in my lap. Tío had texted to tell me he was going to pick me up today. I sighed. Amy had called as well, but I hadn’t picked up. I didn’t have the courage to call back. I just… couldn’t. I hung my head. She’d been right about everything. I was a fucking coward.

A knock came from the door. I got up slowly, limping over to it. I opened it to see Abel the security guard standing outside, next to Haliee one of the receptionists.

“Do I have to bring my things with me?” I asked, before either of them said anything. They both looked at me concerned.

“Lucas are you ok?” Haliee asked.

“I’m fine. Do I have to bring my stuff?” I said, sniffing.

“I- you’ll be back in a week, so only essentials. You can leave the rest of your stuff here” she said. I nodded.

“We’ll give you a chance to pack if you’re not re-“

“It’s fine” I said. I slipped into my shoes and grabbed my bag. I trudged out of the room, following the two down the hall. We earned a few stares as we made our way, and I tried not to limp, but it was difficult with how stiff my body felt.

We entered the main stairwell, giving us a good view of the smoke that was still rising from the research centre. I instantly looked at the floor, my grip of my bag strap tightening. The image of the severed arm flashed in my mind and I felt a pang of sickness. Haliee must’ve noticed, because she spoke up.

“You’ll be ok Lucas” she said cheerily, “It’ll only be for a week. I’m sure it’ll pass in the blink of an eye”. I nodded, not bothering to respond. We reached the reception and Haliee led me into the office, telling me to wait for a bit. I sat still for a few minutes consumed by a feeling of numbness. My burner phone buzzed repeatedly, the feeling of the vibration lingering even after it stopped. I tried to ignore it, shutting my eyes and clutching my bag tighter.

“Lucas?” I heard a voice say. I looked up. Haliee stood over me with a concerned expression, Tío at her side. He looked sadder than expected.

“Hey Lucas” he said.

“Sorry” I replied weakly. I stood up and followed the two of them out. Haliee spoke to the both of us before saying goodbye and making her way back into the office. Tío looked around the lobby for a second before glancing down at me.

“You’ve gotten a lot taller” he said.

“Yeah”

“Got a haircut too” he said before glancing around again. “So… is Quinten not coming to see you off?” he asked.

“We haven’t spoken in a while” I said.

“Oh… I wanted to see him” he said solemn. He turned back to me, “You okay?” he asked. I nodded as we exited the building.

“You sure?”

“I’m just worried about how bad a beating big Sis is gonna give me” I said, forcing a smile. Tío gave me a small smile back, chuckling.

“Come on, I didn’t park that far away” he said.

“You brought your car?”

“I wanted to talk to you privately. Talking about this kind of stuff on the train is…”

“I get it” I said.

We walked over to the car in silence, the air souring. Tío opened the car, and we both climbed in. He started the car and drove off, joining the traffic. He turned on the radio, and turned the music down so it was barely audible.

“Did you see what happened to the research centre?” he asked. I gripped my bag tightly and nodded.

“Over a hundred dead. It’s terrible. They’re saying it was a seriously unstable electron core” he said. I felt my body break out into a cold sweat. I couldn’t breathe properly. Over a hundred? No. No, no, no. Tío carried on talking, but I couldn’t hear him, the sound of my thoughts drowning everything out.

Over a hundred dead. The words felt like daggers, stabbing straight through ignorance. Why the hell had I just run away? I hadn’t even tried to save anyone. I hadn’t even attempted to take Peter to the hospital. What if he’d died? I felt a fog start to cloud my brain, like the rest of my body was shutting off. What if there were still people trapped in the rubble. I’d run like a fucking coward when people were dying again, all because I couldn’t take it. I could’ve at least tried to save them. Amy wouldn’t have even hesitated. Dammit. I needed to do something. I needed to do something now. I sat up and turned to Tío but felt myself hesitate.

Did I really have to help? Wouldn’t it just be easier to stay in the car and not get involved?

I froze. What the hell was I even thinking about?! Was I really worrying about myself in a situation like this?! I leaned over, clutching my bag tighter as tears streamed from my eyes. Tío was still talking, louder now, but I couldn’t hear him over the sound of my anguished sobs. Why was I like this? People were dying because of something I’d done, and I couldn’t even work up the courage to help. I felt the car pull over as Tío put his hand on my back, shouting my name. He pulled me into a hug and I just sobbed harder.

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I sat in the mostly empty guest bedroom, the sound of rain pattering against the windowsill echoing through the room. The wall felt cold against my back, and not in a good way. Occasionally the sound of my burner phone buzzing on the bedside table interrupted the silence. I pulled the pillow over my head tighter continuing to ignore it.

I was at Tío and Tía’s house, and Big Sis was on her way. But I couldn’t even think about that. Right now, my mind was consumed with something else. Images of the wreck, of the severed limb, of the chaos, of everything floated around in my head. The buzzing from the phone stopped and I loosened my grip on the pillow slightly. I couldn’t talk to Amy. If she was calling to apologise, to tell me everything she’d said was wrong, then I’d have to tell her what had happened. And if I told her I’d just prove her right. And that’s only if she was going to apologise. If she was calling just to insult me, I don’t think I could take that either. Hearing the insults and knowing she was right…

I shook my head, dispelling the dark thoughts.

“Lucas?” a concerned voice said. I glanced up to see my tía standing in the doorway, her face filled with worry.

“I’m fine” I said, sniffling. She rushed over to me calling out to Tío.

“Lucas?! It’s ok honey, it’s ok” she said.

“I’m fine!” I said, angrily, pulling away from her as I stood up. There was a silent pause between us, the sound of Tío’s footsteps hurrying towards the room.

Tía stepped towards me and I stepped back.

“Seriously, I’m fine. I’m fine” I said weakly. The phone buzzed on the bedside table again and I felt myself freeze. Tía glanced at me and then at the phone with a concerned look. She reached for the phone but I darted past her and snatched it off the table, holding it away from her.

“Hello?” I heard a small but recognisable voice say. I glanced at the phone my heart pounding in my chest. I’d accidentally picked up.

“Lucas?” Amy’s voice said, filled with emotion. I crushed the phone in my hand, shattering it with ease. I stared at the remnants as they fell to the floor.

I turned slowly my eyes landing on Tío and Tía as they looked at me worried. Tía stepped over to me and took my hand instantly, scanning it with a ferocity.

“Lucas what the hell is going on?” Tío said stepping over to me. Tía raised her hand, stopping him, then let go of me.

“Lucas, please just tell us what’s wrong. If you tell us we can help you” she said. I looked between the two of them, then down at the broken pieces of my phone.

Images of the wreck at the research centre flashed through my mind and I instantly felt sick. The thought that Lindon was dead, and that Ricardo had probably died in the explosion made the nausea worse. How was I supposed to just accept that I might have killed all those people? It’s not like I could tell anyone right? I looked up at Tio and tia’s faces. But what if I could? What if I at least tried?

“I… I didn’t… no one was supposed to get hurt. None of this was supposed to happen” I said, my voice shaky and my eyes wet.

“Someone got hurt?! Did someone hurt you?!” Tía said panic seeping into her voice. I felt a sudden rush of emotions and hung my head, bringing my hands to my face. The sound of their voices became background noise as my thoughts started to consume me. I couldn’t explain this to them. How could I tell them that I’d gotten people killed without ruining their perception of me? How could I explain any of this? All the superhero stuff, the lab stuff, these stupid powers? It would just bring up more questions; ones I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t tell them everything that had happened in the past month without making everything even worse.

But I needed to. I couldn’t just carry this. The only other person that knew even half of what I’d done was Peter, and he wasn’t someone I could confide in. I didn’t know if he was even still alive. I felt a stab of guilt. There was only one person that was coming to mind right now, and the rest of my body was screaming at me that talking to her was a bad idea. But she hadn’t sounded angry. She’d sounded like she wanted to talk. And I’d basically hung up on her because I couldn’t stomach how she’d react. Dammit.

“Lucas? Lucas?!” I heard loudly as someone shook me. I pulled my hands away from my face and looked up at them. They stared back at me expectantly.

“I- there’s someone I need to talk to” I mumbled quickly before slipping between the two of them. I darted out the room, through the hall and towards the front door. I snagged a jacket and pulled it over my hoodie as I felt a sense of unease bubbling in my gut. Was I really going to talk to Amy? I paused as I stared at my shoes and let out a small sigh.

I winced as I felt a hand grab my shoulder and spin me around.

“Where the hell are you going?!” Tío said looking at me incredulous. I pulled away from him, grabbing my shoulder.

“I- you wouldn’t understand” I said.

“Then help me to. You can talk to me Lucas. You can talk to us! This whole mess would be easier if you just told us what was happening” Tío said.

“I- I can’t” I sighed.

“Why not?” Tía said.

“You wouldn’t… I promise I’ll explain everything once I get back” I said.

“No way we’re just letting you leave” Tío said.

“Please. I have to talk to someone”

“Then talk to us!” he shouted.

“I can’t” I said, frustrated.

“Why not?!” Tía repeated.

“I don’t know! Just let me do this!” I shouted. There was a pause as they stared at me shocked. I looked at the floor.

“Sorry” I mumbled.

Tía muttered something in Spanish, and walked past me, grabbing her shoes.

“What are you-“

“We can’t let you just leave on your own. It’s the reason you got excluded in the first place. Plus this seems to be important, so it might explain something” she said dryly.

“But… you can’t-“

“Either we’re coming with you, or you’re not going at all” she said. Crap.

“You can’t both come. What if Big sis and Rosa show up when we’re not here” I said. Tía made a face.

“I’ll go” Tío said, pulling his jacket off a hook.

“Azúcar you shouldn’t-“

“Lucas is right, and lord knows I can’t promise I wouldn’t burn the paella if I stayed” Tío said with a slight smile, before turning to me. “It’s not far right?”

“No” I lied.

“Come on then” he said, slipping into his shoes. I pulled mine on and opened the door as Tío gave Tía a quick kiss. She turned to me and quickly pulled me into a slightly painful hug.

“When you get back I want you to tell us everything, ok?” she said.

“Ok” I winced. She let go and I stepped out the apartment, followed by Tío. The door closed softly behind us.

We made our way down the hallway and down the stairwell in silence. I quickly glanced at Tío, who had a solemn expression on his face.

“So, is it walkable distance or do we need to take the car?”

“We should probably take the car” I said.

“Thought so” Tío sighed. He glanced at his watch. “It might be a better idea to take the train, I don’t want to have to drive during rush hour” he said. I nodded, my mind slowly drifting elsewhere. We stepped out of the building and made our way down the street to the closest station.

“So, who is this person you so desperately need to talk to?” Tío asked.

“… it’s the person who kept calling” I said. Tío frowned.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“I… don’t know”

“Lucas I need you to be honest with me. Is this the person you’ve been leaving school to see? Are they forcing you to meet with them?”

“No. No, you’ve got the wrong idea” I said. “Well… they are the person I’ve been meeting with, but it’s not like that. They’re a friend. She’s my age” I said. Tío paused and let out a small chuckle.

“She?” he said, with a slight smile.