I sat at home, silent as I stared at the ceiling. It was sunrise now, and I hadn’t gotten any sleep last night. Too many thoughts and feelings had been swirling around inside of my head. Mainly guilt. What the hell had I done? I’d not only lied to Helga and Sasha but I’d promised Lucas I’d take his place as a superhero. I glanced at my bag. I still couldn’t believe he’d given me his suit. He’d had it on him, told me he’d wanted to bury it with Amy, but couldn’t bring himself too.

I sat up and grabbed my bag, I pulled out the mask and the poorly taped together costume and stared at them. It felt surreal. I’d only seen his costume once from reports about a fire, and his mask had been plastered all over TV from reports about his venom fight. Having this didn’t feel right. It’d been given to me, but it felt like I’d stolen it.

“Peter?!” I heard.

I spun around at the sound of my door opening, stuffing the costume under the bed.

“Peter?” May said.

“Yeah?” I said, my heart skipping a beat.

“Did you not here me?” May asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh no I… I was just day dreaming” I said.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine” I replied. May stared at me for a few more seconds before letting out a small sigh. She made her way over to me and kissed me on the forehead.

“Breakfast’s ready when you want it” she said, smiling softly at me.

“Thanks” I said. She made her way out the room closing the door softly behind her. I turned back around, taking the mask out from under the bed. I stared at it again in the darkness of my room.

“Dammit” I mumbled.

I stuffed the costume back in the bag and put it under my bed.

-

I opened the door to the shed and stepped outside, coughing as I pulled off my goggles and mask. I could practically taste the dust gross. I looked around the garden then glanced back inside, sighing at the rest of the mess I had to clean up. I’d decided to set up the shed as a base of operations. I needed it to set-up my equipment if I was going to run any tests. May had given me the space for science stuff years ago when she’d gotten the container for all the garden stuff. I’d used it a lot before I’d moved out, but since then I’d just used it to store stuff. I hadn’t realised how messy it was now.

It’d been a nightmare to set-up so far. I hadn’t even finished tidying up all my stuff up and I still had to safety proof the room afterwards. Judging from the amount of dust, I was probably going to have to clean it properly too. I was supposed to meet up with the others at four, so this would probably have to be a I groaned and pulled my mask back on, before dusting my hands on my trousers. At least the heavy stuff wasn’t difficult to lift anymore.

I glanced behind me at the sound of the back door creaking open. Aunt May stepped out with Grandpa Will following behind. I was grinning before I even realised.

“Pete we have a guest” May said with a knowing smile.

“Grandpa, it’s good to see you” I said, pulling him into a hug.

“It’s great to see you too son” he said, chuckling. He adjusted his glasses and stepped back from me, his hand resting on my shoulder.

“You look like you’re healing well” he said.

“Yeah, I feel fine already”

He glanced behind me. The shed didn’t exactly look flattering right now.

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“Don’t work too hard, alright son?”

“I’m not” I said defensively. He gave me a look.

“Alright, I’ll tone it down” I said.

“That’s my boy” he said patting me on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s head inside, get something to eat”

“I need to clean up fir-“

“Nonsense. It shouldn’t rain today. Come on, let’s eat”

I smiled as I followed him inside. He was as kind-hearted and stubborn as always. We made our way into the kitchen as May took grabbed a plate of sandwiches she’d made. I took it from her and followed Grandpa into the living room, setting the sandwiches down, before taking a seat. May came in with her hands full. She set down three plates, and then a tray with pancakes and waffles on it.

“Everyone want orange juice” she asked with a warm smile.

“That’d be great” I said. Grandpa flashed a thumbs up and she made her way back into the kitchen.

“So son, what were you working on in the shed?” Grandpa said, helping himself to some waffles.

“Just clearing out the shed”

“Keeping busy, that’s good. Any reason for it?”

“Well I was just thinking of setting some tools and stuff up in there” I said. “Good it’ll give you more of a reason to stop by” he chuckled. I laughed too. That had been part of the reason. I was definitely enjoying it here more than I thought I would.

“Sorry boys, there’s no juice. I need a few things for dinner too so I’m going to head over to the store” Aunt May said, stepping into the living room doorway.

“Want me to get it for you?” I asked.

“No, it’s fine”

“You sure?”

“It’s okay Pete. Enjoy your Grandpa’s company” May said. She quickly got ready and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before leaving.

“She’s too nice, your aunt” Grandpa said chuckling. “Don’t stay here too long. She’ll spoil you rotten”

I chuckled slightly, helping myself to some of the pancakes. I went quiet, helping myself to a bite. I glanced out the window, trying to see if I could catch a glimpse of May. I couldn’t but I paused, glancing up at the sky. There were a lot of clouds today.

“What’s wrong son?” Grandpa asked.

“Huh?”

“You’ve got that look faraway look in your eye. The one where you get all cooped up in your own head. What’s happening?”

“I’m fine”

“Don’t lie to me kid”

“Well…” I let out a sigh. “Just grief I guess.”

He nodded silently.

“She was a good person, that Gwen. It’s a shame” he said.

“Yeah” I mumbled back, staring at my pancakes. I’d been trying not to think about it, about her, I didn’t feel sad anymore. Instead, a deep longing sat in my chest. I wonder how Sajani and the others felt. We’d texted about it, but I needed to see them in person. I’d sort that out today. If I remembered. With what happened with Lucas, the situation with Helga and Sasha, and the random bouts of grief, I’d probably forget.

“Talk to me son” Grandpa said,.

“Sorry, I was just thinking”

“I know. You’re mum used to do that too. She got it from your grandmother” he said with a wistful look.

“What were my parent’s like? I know I’ve asked you this before, but I was younger then”

“They were smart. Kind too. They were alike in all the good ways and different in all the great ways” Grandpa said, putting on a grand voice.

I felt myself smile.

“I’m serious Grandpa” I said, still trying not to grin.

“I’m serious too. Your parents were great. They weren’t perfect and had their fair share of problems, but they were good for one another” he said, smiling as he looked at me.

“Have I ever told you, you have your m-“

“Mother’s eyes?”

Grandpa grinned.

“You look like your father, the kind of punch-able face you warm up to eventually” he said chuckling, “ but you’ve got your mother’s eyes.”

I chuckled at his comment and helped myself to some more pancake.

“What about you? How are you doing?” I asked.

“Age is age son. Soon I’ll be singing Hallelujah with the angels”

“Grandp-“

“Come on kid. I came here to see you, not gripe about my back pains” he said.

“Yeah, well if it’s anything serious, tell me”

“Son I-“

“Tell me” I said, firmly. Grandpa huffed, adjusting his glasses, and went back to his waffles.

Grandpa’s health was always a sore topic. He always tried to play it off with a joke whenever anyone asked him, and it had just gotten worse since a fall he had last year. He’d only fractured his hand, but the whole experience had just made him more difficult to deal with in terms of any kind of medical help. I glanced at him and sighed. I guess I could understand it though. Not liking the pity. Considering how I was already, I’d probably be worse when I was his age. I already made life harder for everyone around. Like keeping distance from May so she didn’t coddle me, lying by omission to Helga because I couldn’t stomach the pity, and even

The promise. God dammit what was I going to do for that. I mean I had to do something.

“Son?” Grandpa said.

“Huh?”

“Faraway look again. What you thinking about?”

“Nothing”

“Peter”

“It was just something I did. I was just thinking about it”

“Something you did? Can you be a bit more specific?”

“I made a promise. A stupid one that I probably won’t be able to keep. But I can’t just it take back, I-“

I threw up my hands and sighed. “Do I try anyway?”

“Well, a promise is a promise” Grandpa said. He was right. If I didn’t want this responsibility, I shouldn’t have taken the suit. “Give yourself some credit son. I know you’re smart enough to not make stupid promises.”

“I wouldn’t count on that” I chuckled, ironically. Grandpa sighed.

“If you feel like it’s stupid, or that you can’t do it, then you don’t have to” he said, his expression serious. I frowned.

“But-“

“If you’ve got a good enough reason, the other person will understand”

I nodded, looking away. I didn’t know Lucas well enough to know how he’d react. But I couldn’t just give him back the costume. I’d seen the hope in his face when I’d offered to be a hero for him. If I gave back the suit I’d be taking that away. I was just repeating myself. I leant back in my chair, my shoulders sagging. This was all so tiring.

Steadily Grandpa got up and stepped closer to me.

“Stand up son” Grandpa said, his gravelly voice unusually gentle. I did and he pulled me into a hug, his grip firm. “Things probably feel bad right now, but it’ll get better. I hope you know that.”

I felt my eyes grow wet and I hugged him tighter.

“Thanks Grandpa”