“I…” Dyllan paused, his brain racing to try and catch up with the curve ball Andie had just thrown him. “What?”
“Dyllan, you and your shadow… you’re only half a person each when outside your body.” Andie gestured toward Dyllan’s shadow. “I mean, your shadow is always pissed off, but he never knows what’s upsetting him or what to do with all that… that uh…” She flailed her hands with a chaotic intensity. “Y’know?”
Dyllan arched an eyebrow. “Stress? Anger? I… I don’t know what -” Dyllan mimicked Andie’s odd gesture “- means.”
“I don’t think there’s a word for it. But you get what I’m getting at, right?”
“I… think so…?” Dyllan shrugged. “Maybe?”
“…close enough.” Andie cleared her throat and resumed her rant. “Anyway, the reason your shadow can’t figure out where all this…” She snapped her fingers. “Restlessness! That’s the word I needed! The reason your shadow can’t figure out where his restless frustration comes from and where it should go, is because that’s you. You are where it comes from, and you are where it is supposed to go.” The smile on Andie’s face widened. “You know when something is wrong, when people are hurting, and it drives you crazy! So you do something to change it - to help people. That’s the feeling’s source and is supposed to be its release, but the actual feeling - the frustration itself? You ignore it, you try to pretend it doesn’t affect you emotionally, that you’re only being helpful because it’s the ‘right thing to do’ - that you’re unflappable and unbothered. So, instead of experiencing this natural ebb and flow of frustration, you shove it all down because it makes you uncomfortable.”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“Uncomfortable!?” Dyllan’s shadow let out a sharp, angry laugh. “Really!?”
“I -” Andie sighed. “I admit that was a poor choice of words. I get that the reason you’re… scared. Yes, that’s it. The reason you’re scared of this feeling is that it… was at the center of some serious harm in the past. But it isn’t anger, it isn’t hate.” She bit her lip anxiously. “That’s only what it becomes when it’s broken, confused, and incomplete. What it’s supposed to be is -”
Dyllan’s shadow cut her off. He seemed less angry than before - and his tone of voice gave the sense that he wasn’t really sure what to do with that. “A sense of justice.” He paused. “No, that’s not quite it.”
Dyllan’s ego clenched his hand into a fist and took a deep breath, his shadow quietly repeating his words under its breath. “It’s our - it’s my Justice.”